


Neon Nebula

by Irisinally



Series: Pandora's Cluster [2]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, Friendship, Gen, I'll add the characters as they show up, Post-Apocalypse, Reincarnation, at some parts anyway, rated M for violence, there are too many i'm pretty sure i'll forget someone, this'll be a long ride guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-02-26 08:45:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 103,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13232202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irisinally/pseuds/Irisinally
Summary: Humankind has struggled to get back up on its feet after the Noah invoked the “3 Days of Darkness” in 2012, when the extreme natural disasters nearly destroyed Earth. Now, in 2119, the world is suffering a Second Holy War, made publicly known by an authoritarian Government. There are few Exorcists, but as some select people see themselves in grave danger and their powers awaken, a new time comes when victory is nearer than ever.Memories are fragile and, sometimes, it’s better to just forget.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So, this is the longest project I've been working on... I *really* recommend reading Corona Borealis before this one, it explains some really important stuff. Really, it's rated mature because... canon being what it is... yeah. I'll be tagging the rest of the characters as they appear. I don't want to spoil and I don't want to forget anyone.  
> It starts pretty slow because character development is a thing, but don't worry... it'll pick up.  
> Hope you stick with me on this ride!

The train station was bustling with people when his train finally slowed down and the monotone voice came through the speakers, reminding the passengers to grab all their belongings and leave the train as soon as possible, so that the next passengers could leave soon enough. 

Allen rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the sleepiness still clinging to him. He didn’t even remove his earphones when he stood up from the seat he’d spent the last four hours on. He stretched and grabbed his bag, before walking calmly to the door, dodging people left and right. They were mostly businessmen and women, whose voices got through his music, and he sighed. 

He took a deep breath when he managed to get to the platform, now mostly free, as most people were against the doors of the sound-speed train, arguing with others and yelling and making a ruckus that Allen didn’t even want to acknowledge. So, he just walked at a slow pace to the steel stairs that led to the entrance of the station, taking out his phone to look at the time. 

It was later than he’d thought, but well, if he was lucky he could get to the apartment complex he’d found on the Internet when he was bored in the train, before it was too late to book an apartment. He only needed it for, maybe, five days, so it wasn’t as if he was asking too much, but for what he’d seen in other cities, people there seemed more stuck up. He would prefer to stay at one of the local shelters, really, but they were too far from the city centre and he had some pieces to find. 

What was New Delhi quite a few years ago, in the year 2119 was one of the “capitals” of the world. Tall skyscrapers that reached the grey skies, glass structures that belonged to the Government, clean sidewalks and synthetic parks. 

Allen didn’t even glance at any of them, pausing his music so he could open the command window on his phone. He didn’t really remember where exactly he should go, but he hoped he didn’t need to take any public transport, because he was sure that there would be too many people and he wasn’t that keen on unfamiliar people touching him. 

Hacking the GPS satellite, the one that the Government usually used to guide their troops through some missions he didn’t care about, was like a second nature to him. He easily connected the old satellite to his phone and, with a calm movement, hid behind a tall building. 

“Oh, good, no public transport for me,” he said with a sigh and relieved smile. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder and stuffed his phone in the pocket of his black thin jacket again.

The cities were usually crowded by all kinds of people. Nationality didn’t really matter in a world as destroyed and broken as the one they lived in, he supposed. There were people with accents, of course, people with different colored skin, different features, different beliefs. But there were more important things to worry about. Hunger was a common cause of death, same as death by asphyxiation under ruins, murder or being killed by an Akuma or Skeleton. 

He bit his lip in a nervous gesture. He sure hoped that he wouldn’t came face to face with an Akuma. He wasn’t sure if there were any Exorcists in the city but he did know that their numbers were few and there wasn’t anyone from the Government in the city, so the chances were low. Akuma were such a hassle. 

When he managed to find the building, he compared the facade with the photo he had found and, with a sigh, entered. He was actually glad that the complex didn’t seem like one of those luxurious hotels he’d been in when Cross was insufferable and  _ somehow _ managed to get his hands on the money. The floors were white and clean and the few pieces of furniture he could see were in good condition. Who knew, if he found it comfortable, he could always stay a few days more. That’s it, if he could put up with the environment of the city. 

“Hello, sir, how can I help you?” asked the receptionist with a friendly smile that was so obviously fake that Allen would have grimaced years ago. Now, though, he only smiled politely but with a hint of tiredness, which was mostly real.

“Yes, I was hoping to book an apartment,” he said and waited patiently as the young girl typed away at the computer. It was an older model, for what he could recognize, as he left the bag on the floor and searched around for the ID. Ah, it had been some months since he’d last used it.

“We have a few available,” said the girl and turned the screen in his direction. 

“I’m not picky,” he said and chose the first one he saw. The girl nodded and started typing again. 

“You are older than 18, right?” asked the receptionist and Allen nodded. He had stopped travelling with Cross more or less a year before, when he was still 17, but he’d been going around shelters, so people didn’t care that he wasn’t legally old enough to travel around on his own. Really, he was better off on his own than with that drunkard. 

Allen gave her his ID and she returned it with the card that would open his door. He smiled at her again and, this time, he didn’t miss the red on her cheeks. He leaned back on the glass wall of the elevator and rubbed his temples. He wanted to take a hot shower and relax on the sofa. It had been some time since he’d been able to. The last shelter he’d been in didn’t have hot water and his showers were usually rushed so he could go back to work or gamble for more money.

He found his door at the end of the hallway and he opened it, hiding a yawn behind his hand. He left his bag on the sofa immediately and searched around for fresh clothes. He hoped that the apartment had a washing machine, because he had some clothes that really needed to be washed. 

He nearly fell asleep on the shower, but he managed to avoid cracking his head open against the glass and he explored the apartment calmly, his red hair dripping water on the wood floor, a rarity those days. He was pretty sure it was synthetic, but whatever. He smiled when he found the washing machine and left his mud-soaked clothes there for a while. The apartment was on the highest floor, something that Allen was thankful for, as he really liked high places. He liked even more to climb them, but oh well.

He collapsed on the sofa and fiddled with the TV remote to find the news channel, just in time to watch the weather forecast. He growled when he saw that it was gonna rain in a little while. He hated the rain. Mostly because it wasn’t the peaceful rain that people in the past knew. They’d been lucky. The rain usually was powerful enough to break buildings, with strong gusts of wind and acid water that, depending on the area, could even melt. Yeah, he didn’t like it that much. But, at least he was in a apartment. He would always remember the time he’d been forced to stay out during the rain, when he’d been fighting a stubborn Skeleton. He still had the scars from the acid rain.

Because he was a light sleeper, he woke up hours into the night because of the loud noise of the rain against the reinforced glass of the windows. He sighed as he turned on his phone again and set to work on the project that Cross had introduced to him some years before. The bastard had been useful for something; he was an incredible scientist that could design amazing machines. Allen had wondered a lot of times why he didn’t work at the Government or one of those important companies, but then he took a look at his habits and decided that, yeah, he couldn’t see his guardian there. 

He wasn’t really sure what he’d been working on. He wasn’t any engineer, didn’t have the knowledge he needed to be so, but he’d been practicing with his phones and managed to get a fine understandment on codes. So, he stole some blueprints of Cross’ and continued working with them. 

Apparently, he’d fell asleep again, because he woke up late in the morning, under the blankets and with his red hair really messy. He left his phone charging as he searched around his bag for something he could eat for breakfast. 

It had been some months since he’d had weird dreams. And he was glad. He wasn’t fond of those. They were nightmares, dark and a lot of times gory, and they only managed to make him paranoid for days straight. He didn’t meet anyone that he felt was familiar to him, but, then again, he usually only got close to people when strictly necessary, which wasn’t that frequent. He didn’t want to think that he had his life under control, just in case. Because the universe usually had a way of getting back at him, one way or another. 

The street was still wet when he went out to search for a food store, but there was nothing melted, so he supposed it was a good sign. He managed to find one, hidden behind some glass buildings. It was little, but he was drawn in by the smell and the cozy atmosphere around it. 

He tried not to get sidetracked by all the food. He’d been saving money for a few years so that he could go to the city and search for the pieces he needed for the project, so he couldn’t buy everything he saw. 

“Did you see those officials? Yesterday?” Allen turned his head slightly to the side so he could hear what the two adult women were talking about. 

“Ah, yes, do you know what they are doing here?” asked one of them, a worried tilt to her tone that made Allen pretend to search for something in the shelves so he could hear more of their conversation. 

He hadn’t heard anything about that. Really, New Delhi was a big city, yes, but officials didn’t usually go there unless there was a meeting. They usually stayed in what was called the USA before the catastrophe, or in the european zone. 

“I’ve heard something, yes, but you can’t go saying it around,” said the other woman with an exaggerated giggle. Her voice lowered even more and Allen took advantage of the fact that both women turned to another aisle so he could hide behind the corner. “I’ve heard that they have Innocence with them.”

“What?!” shrieked the other woman and Allen frowned. Why would they carry Innocence with them? Innocence was really important and precious, they shouldn’t go around with it unprotected because, let’s be honest, those officials wouldn’t be able to do anything against an Akuma. 

“Don’t shout,” hissed the woman. “Apparently, in the last Holy War they did that. Go all around the world with the Innocence, I mean.”

“For what?” asked the other woman, confused, and Allen wanted to hug her. She was asking all the questions he was interested in. 

“Because they’re hoping to find Exorcists that way,” she explained. “They go all around searching for the right person. When the Innocence reacts to someone, they take that person to be an Exorcist. It’s like a novel, don’t you think?”

“But what if that person is one of us?” asked the other woman, voice wavering. “It’s kind of scary to think about.”

Allen sighed and walked away, calmly, as if he hadn’t been listening to their conversation. He was sure the store didn’t have any security cameras, so he wasn’t in trouble. But he was worried, somewhat. Innocence nearby only meant danger for him. Akuma usually went in for the kill in cities, and Innocence only made that even more likely, because they were attracted to its presence, like how the moths went straight to the light. Or at least, they had gone, because they were extinct. He was glad, bugs seemed like annoying and gross creatures. 

He paid for the food and returned to the apartment. After he had put everything in its place, he went into his bedroom to find his phone. He needed to start his search for the pieces, so he hacked the GPS again to find out where the closest shop was. He refused to go on public transport. 

He found one, not too far from his apartment, so he went immediately, hoping to find something before lunch. It shouldn’t take long, because he wanted to see what most shops had before making any decision. He still wasn’t sure what the project was exactly, but well, everything needed circuits. 

The shop did have some interesting parts, he mused, as he walked back to his apartment. He could hear a craft flying over his head and his fingers clenched on his phone, refusing to move his eyes from the screen. He didn’t like cities. The cities and their rich people, their clean sidewalks and expensive buildings. 

“Maybe if I buy this one and combine it…” he murmured while the door to the building opened, eyes locked on the picture on his phone. He smiled shortly at the receptionist and made his way to the elevator, still mumbling to himself. He shook his head. “No, it won’t work.”

He made a simple lunch after spending half an hour figuring out how the kitchen worked. He managed (somehow) not to burn everything down, which made him proud for a change. He wasn’t planning on it, but he ended up napping for most of the evening. 

“Should I go out or no?” he mumbled while switching channels on the TV. There was nothing interesting on, and he wasn’t  _ that _ tired, so he could give it a try and search around again. 

For the next shop he wanted to take a look at, he needed to go to the city centre, which, by the time he made it there, was bustling with people. With so many people, a lot of them turned to look at him because red hair was a rarity, so Allen was tempted to just hide under his hood like numerous times before. But he had other things to worry about, like the big car that was driving slowly through the people. Allen grimaced at the emblem on its side; the Government. Then, that was…

“Is that the car that has the Innocence, dad?” asked a child nearby. Allen didn’t stick around to hear the answer, speed-walking so that he could get far away from the car. 

To think that he’d been that close to it, to the Innocence, was unsettling. He wasn’t chosen. The Innocence hadn’t broken out of the car, shining and flying towards him, it hadn’t synchronized with him. He wasn’t chosen. Then, why was he feeling… like  _ that _ ?

He shook his head and continued on his way, grateful that the people seemed too preoccupied with the car to stand around his way and slow him down. He could hear people shouting and he paused for a moment. Then a snarl crossed his face. They were shouting at the car, at the  _ Innocence _ , a million year old crystal, to synchronize with  _ them _ . 

_ Disgusting. _

He arrived at the shop some time later and he breathed a sigh of relief. He asked the clerk for some of the pieces, took some photos and asked for prices. It was a little bit more expensive than the other one, but the pieces seemed in better condition and he had a large variety to choose from. 

It didn’t hit him until he was at the apartment again, waiting for the instant noodles to be ready. What he had felt there, when he left the car with the Innocence, had been disappointment. He was  _ disappointed _ . Maybe at himself, maybe at fate. But why? He didn’t want to fight, he was just a survivor of that destroyed world. He grimaced. He wasn’t a hero. 

When he unlocked his phone to analyse those pieces again, he paused at the home screen. He’d had the same home screen for  _ years _ . That photo. That photo with those three teenagers he met at Manchester. Those teenagers that felt so familiar _ it hurt _ . He ignored the common feeling of longing and wondered where they were, if they were okay, if they were alive. 

Then he took some notes from the pieces, before he got bored and got up to eat the noodles. He turned on the TV and channel hopped until he found one of the rare comedy series. He tried not to choke on his dinner when he laughed. Until the news took over the channel and made him pause. 

“The Innocence has disappeared,” said the woman behind the screen, obviously shaken, her hands shuffling the papers nervously. Allen lowered the noodles and frowned. 

“It could be that the Innocence has found a partner,” said the Government official. Allen gulped, his stomach churning. “Or, it could have been stolen and destroyed. It could even be on the black market.”

“We need your help, citizens of New Delhi,” said the woman, looking directly into the camera. Looking directly at him. Allen left the noodles on the coffee table, hands shaking. “If you see the Innocence, please contact us, contact the Government.”

“The Innocence is a really important asset for this Second Holy War,” said the man. His serious voice seemed to echo. “If we want to win this war, if we want to survive, we need it. And, if there is a new Exorcist and they are watching this,” the man smirked,”welcome abroad.”

The connection cut and the comedy series began playing again. But Allen wasn’t listening to it anymore. He wasn’t hungry anymore, the smell of noodles on the coffee table only seemed to make him sicker. 

Innocence. Lost. What had happened to it? And, most importantly, why was he so worried? He wasn’t its partner, he wasn’t synchronized with it, so why was he feeling like that? 

He didn’t sleep well that night. 

He dreamed of the Government man, staring at him, as if he knew that it was all his fault.


	2. First Move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say, really. The next chapter will pick up the pace, as you'll see with the cliffhanger *waves*. Finals are the worts, by the way, good thing I have quite a few chapters written.

He felt like shit. 

He’d had some bagels for breakfast, but they’d tasted sour to him. When he walked in the bathroom to take a shower he grimaced at the dark bags under his eyes and his messy red hair. 

The shower didn’t help much, but at least his hair was as presentable as it could get again. His thoughts were still racing a mile per hour, though. 

He was going over what the Government official had said on TV the previous night, mulling over the possibilities. He was even thinking of leaving the city for good. There were still a lot of other cities he could go to. Yeah, he would be a little short on money, but he could gamble, he could work somewhere, he was 18 years old already, so he could even work somewhere in the other city. 

But he felt as if he couldn’t leave. Something was tying him down to that damn city and he didn’t like where his thoughts were taking him. He didn’t even need those stupid dreams to become paranoid. 

It was stupid of him, he knew that, damn it. He had passed by that car, nothing happened, he wasn’t chosen by that Innocence. He wasn’t an Exorcist, hell, he wasn’t even a hero, just someone that wanted to survive. 

And yet, he could think of multiple times where he’d saved someone. When someone was in danger in front of him, be it a Skeleton or collapsing ruins, he’d always ran to help, without even thinking of all the ways it could go wrong, of how they could all die. He just acted on his impulses. 

“Stop thinking about it, you idiot,” he growled, shutting the door of his apartment with too much force. “You weren’t chosen, why are you even  _ disappointed _ ?”

Because he was. He was disappointed. In himself, in the Innocence, in fate, in the Government that had gotten the Innocence lost. He felt as if he was taking the wrong path, which just made him even more anxious. As a survivor, he’d always chosen the one path that would most suit him, the path that allowed him to live, because he still had that nagging thought that part of his mind always shoved forward when the temptation to just give up was specially strong. 

_ Keep going forward. _

It was something he couldn’t quite understand, either, because he couldn’t remember where he’d heard it. There was no way that he’d heard it in that orphanage, that run-down building where he’d spent the first 10 years of his life, because people there didn’t have that kind of hope, that optimism. Cross wouldn’t have said so, he would remember it, his memory wasn’t that bad and Cross wasn’t even that philosophical. 

Maybe it was his survival instinct talking, he’d had thought countless times, when nights seemed too dark with only that half moon in the sky. If he thought hard enough, he could see someone telling him that, someone that was apparently a man, who sometimes wore colorful and baggy clothes, like a clown. 

He’d met a clown, one time. He was still in the orphanage, but he was old enough to think and act for himself, and he’d always been a pretty independent kid. People in the orphanage were mostly overworked (children were common to lose their parents in all kinds of ways and, while depressing, it was reality) so he’d always had freedom to roam as he pleased, as long as he didn’t get too far, something he learned when he turned too many corners and got lost until he found the orphanage nearly four hours later. 

He had gotten close to the town and got captivated by a street performer. A clown. It was rare to see street performers, but well, they weren’t in a city, where they were even rarer. After the show, Allen had found himself getting closer, drawn in by a force he couldn’t name, something that happened a lot when he was a kid, until he was older and became more self-controlled. More or less.

_ “Do you know any tricks?” _ asked the clown, with a kind smile just for him, something that had never happened before. His 7 year old self only shook his head. The clown had golden eyes.

Allen slammed the fridge door and what was inside rattled. Golden eyes. God, how had he not realised sooner? Golden eyes, golden eyes just as vibrant as those of his dreams and those he had hallucinated when he met that man more than three years before. He sure hoped they weren’t related. The golden eyes of his nightmares or hallucinations didn’t have the same feel as the ones of the clown, though. The clown’s eyes looked tired but had some kind of spark to them. Did he feel that familiarity between them? He didn’t remember.

The clown had said that he was a natural at acrobatics while he taught him some simple tricks like cartwheels and handstands. After that day, Allen continued that newfound interest, becoming more flexible and agile with practice and taking advantage of that when years later he fought Skeletons. 

But, he’d only known that clown for less than a day and he didn’t remember him saying anything about that ‘keep walking’ business. Or maybe he did and he just didn’t remember. He usually rolled with that, if only because he didn’t want to dwell on those strange feelings he’d had sometimes. 

He really needed to buy some pieces, just in case things got bad in the city. With the Innocence gone, the officials should’ve contacted the Government so, if they were lucky, an Exorcist could come to the city to help find it and patrol the city in case an Akuma attacked. But Allen didn’t know how the Exorcists acted, even after all those news that talked about what great fighters they were and how grateful they must be for them, so he didn’t know if they  _ would _ came. 

He located another two shops in the city hacking the GPS again and he took note on them, because, as things were, he didn’t want to be in trouble for hacking a satellite  _ they _ needed to use. It wasn’t worth it really. They were probably focused on the area as it was. 

The first shop was a little further away than the other two were, but, if he didn’t find what he was looking for, he could go to one of the firsts he’d visited in the way when returning to the apartment. He still refused to take the public transport. He didn’t like touching people he didn’t know and, plus, he didn’t want to hear more conspiratory theories or people nervous about being chosen by the Innocence. Please. As if it could happen. 

The walk to the shop was long and he was disappointed to see that the pieces were mostly the same ones he’d seen in other shops and even more expensive. So, he returned to the city centre and to the shop he’d visited the day before. He didn’t miss the cameras in the street, from different channels that he recognized from other areas of the world. Maybe some “country” in Europe. 

It was just his luck that it started raining as he was returning from the other shop. He ran to a reinforced glass roof just by the side of the road as the first drops of acid rain started falling from the grey skies. Well, more than usual, as the sky was grey all the time. He checked that all the pieces he’d bought were still intact and he sighed, leaning back on the glass as the last person to enter closed the glass door behind him to block out the violent wind.

“They still haven’t found the Innocence?” asked a nearby man to a woman. Allen busied himself with finding his earphones in his pockets. He didn’t want to hear another conversation about that. 

“No, they haven’t,” answered the woman. “I think that they’re dealing with an Exorcist. I mean, they’ve searched all the city and they haven’t found it.”

“Well, it could have been stolen,” replied the man, frowning. The woman shrugged. 

“Eh, that’s difficult to do, isn’t it?” said the woman. Allen grimaced when one of his earphones fell on the ground but he sighed in relief when it didn’t roll out of the roof’s shade. “It was really protected. It was Innocence. Who could have stolen it without even one of the officials noticing? I dunno, seems pretty improbable is all I’m saying.”

“Oh, well, there is some amazing technology these days,” replied the man and Allen huffed, putting his earphones on and quickly shuffling through his music until he found a song he wanted to listen to. 

“I just hope that the Exorcist comes out of hiding soon,” said the woman. “The city is in danger.”

The rest of the conversation was drowned by the music and Allen closed his eyes, sliding down the glass wall until he was sitting on the ground, bag clutched on his chest. When the people’s voices raised, he just turned up the volume of his music. 

The rain didn’t last for long and really, Allen was glad, because he didn’t want to hear the people talking about the same thing all the time. It was tiring, but also, he wasn’t especially fond of the topic. 

He returned to the apartment some minutes later and found some food to cook for dinner. While the sandwiches’ cheese melted, he lay all the pieces on the table. As he didn’t know what exactly he was trying to accomplish with the project, he’d bought the most basic circuits he could find, circuits with which he could tinker later if he needed to. 

He was hesitant to turn on the TV, the plate of sandwiches on one hand and the remote in the other. Would they start talking about the lost Innocence again? If that was the case, he didn’t want to hear about it, he would probably get a bad feeling like the day before. But then again, he was curious. Had they found it? Was is too dangerous to stay in the city?

He knew that, when the situation was dire enough, the TVs and other electronic devices were designed to active and play a message from the Government that told everyone that they needed to evacuate the area. Immediately. Evacuations were usually chaos, as the people in the cities were used to calm lifes. They panicked and shoved the other people away so they could be the first ones to get out of the area, so they could stay safe and, most importantly, alive. It was in those times that their primal instincts took control and they behaved like the animals they were. 

Allen sighed and sat on the sofa. He turned on the TV, munching on the first sandwich, hoping that the news wouldn’t put him in a bad mood and made him unable to eat. He shuffled channels, taking note of the few shows that seemed interesting to him, before reaching a news channel. He grimaced.

“It was this morning,” said a man, on his late twenties, talking into the thin microphone the reporter was holding out to him. “He came to this part of the city, started screaming. At first, we were all scared, thinking that he was a Skeleton.”

“But he wasn’t!” shouted an adult woman from behind him and the man turned to her briefly before nodding to the camera. “Really mad, that man was.”

“We were ready to run off to a safer place, but then he started talking, loud, we couldn’t ignore him any longer,” continued explaining the man. “He said that he was an Exorcist, a new Exorcist, that the Innocence had come to him just moments before and it had synchronized with him, he was a soldier.”

“What did he do, when he saw that you weren’t doing anything?” asked the reporter. 

“He started yelling at us, he said that we should’ve contacted the authorities so they could pick him up and lead him to the Government, to the HQ.” The man paused, a displeased frown on his face. “He was clearly from the shelters, and he didn’t look particularly different from any of us, so we weren’t really sure what to do, if it was true.”

Allen huffed and took his second sandwich. What did they think the Exorcists looked like? Aliens? They looked like regular people. They were dressed in uniforms, yes, and some of them had striking hair colors and scars, but really, they were normal human beings. Just human beings stronger than any of them and with powers, but they could still feel, they weren’t weapons.

_ It is the duty of an Exorcist to fight. That’s why they exist. _

Allen closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He didn’t have time for more intrusive thoughts or whatever the hell that was. The man was still talking on the TV and he forced himself to focus. 

“-so, yeah, someone had called the police, because some minutes later there were some officers there, along with some of those… Crows? Yeah, them, and they told the man to come down from those ruins and explain to them what was going on. And then, he started rambling, saying that he was an Exorcist and that it was true and to just take him to a safe place with food and a roof and that he would show them his Innocence in its weapon form when they took him.”

So he was someone from the nearby shelters. He was pretty sure of it. He frowned. He knew that the shelters weren’t the best places in the world, but for someone to say that out of desperation to get out of there was excessive. 

“The officials took him to the Government’s headquarters in New Delhi and examined him. Evidently, he wasn’t an Exorcist. He’s been arrested and now awaits a judge to decide what to do with him, but the law isn’t in his favour,” explained the reporter. “He could spend quite a few years in jail because of fraud. It’s even more serious considering we’re talking about the Innocence that it’s still lost. The police-”

Allen changed the channel and went back to one of the other shows he’d found before. He didn’t want any more details on the topic. That man was desperate to get out of the shelter he lived at and found the perfect chance when the Innocence was lost. Allen was sure that other people had thought about it, but, seeing as it didn’t work out too well, he supposed they would back down. At least, he hoped so. 

He found himself cringing at the mention of the man when he shuffled channels again and he heard part of the news again. He didn’t know why, but the thought of that man synchronized with that Innocence had him seething. It bothered him to no end and he didn’t even know why exactly. He knew his motives, could even relate to him up to a point, but he just couldn’t root for him. His mind, or heart, or some part of him screamed for justice. It was like that man had stolen his money, or at least, he’d pretended to do so and hidden it somewhere else he couldn’t find it. 

He managed to sleep decently, even with that quiet rage in him. His emotions tended to run hot most of the time and, while he had an amazing poker-face, internally his feelings were more like the acid rain that fell on the Earth, strong and wild. 

He decided to walk to the last shop, the one further away, to distract him from the chaos that was the city. He needed to walk through the old suburbs, so he paid close attention to the weather forecast, because he was pretty sure that the area was mostly in ruins, safe for some rich people’s houses, so he didn’t want to get caught in the rain. It was easier to go by public transport, in the tran, but well, he wasn’t fond of it and, who knew, he could even find something in those ruins. Usually, it would be dangerous to go through that area, because the Akuma could be lurking around, but he was pretty sure that officials would be there, looking for the Innocence and patrolling the area, so he should be okay.

The suburbs were mostly quiet, something he was grateful about, so he took off his earphones to feel the silence that was so hard to come by in a city. Even in the apartment, he could hear the crafts, the cars, the trains, the people. Silence could only be found in desolate ruins and isolated places. 

“Hey, young man!” Allen jumped and turned around quickly, alert and a fight stance ready. He relaxed slightly when he saw a police officer. He was smiling kindly and when Allen didn’t see the usual bloodthirst in his eyes that was common on Skeletons, he relaxed some more. The officer came closer. “What are you doing here?”

“Ah, I was going to the other side of the city,” explained Allen with a cheerful enough smile. “To buy some pieces for a project of mine.”

Well, he wasn’t lying, was he? It was one of the few times he was doing something legal. 

“Oh, well, just in case, have you seen some sort of clue to where the Innocence might be?” asked the officer with a polite smile. 

“Uh-” started Allen, then paused.

And everything went to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	3. Feathers and Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, hear me out!  
> This chap was basically why I rated the fic as Mature, okay? So expect gore and a lot of violence.  
> Also... I'm sorry, Allen.

He could see it.

It had been a long time since the last time, but there was no mistaking it.

There was an Akuma coming straight at them. It had a humanoid shape, a dark purple, armored and with eyes as red as blood.

“Oh, hell, not now,” grumbled the officer and Allen cringed. God, they were so dead.

The Akuma was getting closer really fast, with its long legs sinking in the ground and creating cracks that extended to the ruins at the sides of the street. It was a terrifying sight that left Allen shaking, breath ragged and eyes wide. It had been so long, and the last time he didn’t know how he managed to get out alive, to run for nearly an hour until he finally found some shelter without getting killed by the Akuma.

The Akuma focused its eyes on them and Allen cringed violently. The officer was faster than him, grabbed his arm and dragged him behind some ruins. It was useless, the Akuma had seen them and was lurking, enjoying their desperation.

“Tell me there’s an Exorcist around,” pleaded Allen, eyes locked on the Akuma that was getting closer, closer, closer. The officer bit his lip.

“Well, the Innocence is still around,” he said after a moment of silence between them, where the only sound in the street was the Akuma’s metallic and hollow steps.

_We’re definitely dead._

While the officer produced one of those new guns from his belt, Allen searched around the ruins, on all fours, arms and legs shaking violently, hoping to find something. Something to use as a weapon to distract the Akuma until they could reach some officer with those useful barriers, maybe there could be a Crow, but he wasn’t sure if they were lucky enough for it. He wasn’t. Maybe he could find some kind of underground tunnel or something, _something_ , damn it, he couldn’t die there, could he?

He glanced back, at the officer shooting laser beams at the Akuma, but the monster only laughed, opening its jaws wide, showing all the sharp fangs in its mouth. It had claws, really long claws, and horns and there was no way that the laser would hurt it, go through the thick armor that covered its whole body.

“ _Do you know where the Innocence is?_ ” asked the Akuma, voice inhuman, cold, echoing and shit, it was a Level Three, wasn’t it?

“I could ask you the same question,” replied the officer and, when Allen looked at him, shocked and ready to berate him for replying to an Akuma without knowing its ability, he faltered when he saw the trembling smile on his face.

_Ah, he’s ready to die, isn’t he?_

“ _Oh, shame_ ,” said the Akuma and its stance changed, back arched and legs twisted to attack-

Allen acted quickly and, when the huge body of the Akuma launched itself at them, he grabbed the officer’s arm in a vice-like grip and used his legs, trembling as they were, to throw them to the side, behind some ruins that nearly collapsed on them when the Akuma landed with a loud crack on the ground. There was dust everywhere, he couldn’t see clearly, but he shook the officer and threw him against the remains of a wall.

“You’re ready to die?” he asked in what he hoped to be a low enough growl. He glared, furious, as the officer grimaced. His eyes answered for him and Allen turned, eyes trying to find the Akuma behind all the dust. “I’m not.”

He wasn’t ready to die, goddamnit, he was a survivor, that was what he did, survive, remain alive, even if it was out of pure spite. Or maybe it wasn’t, because those words ( _‘Keep walking’_ ) seemed relevant to him, haunted him, even if he didn’t remember who it was that told him that. It gave him strength.

He couldn’t hear anything, any movement from the Akuma, so he turned around again, ignored the officer that was still cowering against the wall, hugging his laser-gun with both arms. He started moving rocks around, trying to clear a path to escape or, maybe, find some sort of tunnel or even a hole they could use to hide until the Akuma got bored of searching for them.

He heard the Akuma again, heavy steps, but they were slow, disoriented, and Allen searched faster. The officer helped him after some time, but they didn’t find anything and Allen was losing hope fast, too fast, but then again, he was used to fight against Skeletons, humans that had been implanted a metal spine that turned them to mindless monsters that murdered everyone that walked by them. Akuma usually attacked cities, and Allen wasn’t fond of them, so he’d only encountered one or two Akuma.

But this Akuma was a Level Three and they were just two normal humans, there was no Exorcist in sight or even remotely near them. For a moment, he hoped that the man on the TV, the one that pretended to be an Exorcist, had been a true Exorcist. But he wasn’t, they were alone and _they couldn’t do anything_.

He didn’t like feeling helpless, even less so having another human with him. It was unfair, he thought.

The Akuma made something and the dust cleared away with a strong gust of wind that nearly knocked them over. Allen looked back, locked his eyes with those red ones and shuddered, hands grasping a heavy rock. Shit, shit, what should he do?

There was no time, because a second later the Akuma grinned, its fangs contrasted greatly with the dark purple of its body, and it lunged again, like a cat had done years ago, as Allen had seen in a documentary on TV. Claws forward, mouth wide open and red eyes staring at them like the prey they were, the Akuma came crashing down on them.

Allen couldn’t see anything clearly, everything blurred before him because of the dust. But, he could make out colors. Yeah, he could, and just in front of him he could see purple. Purple spikes and a red glint and, oh, fuck, that was a claw.

That claw moved quickly, too fast for him to do anything, but the sharp claws didn’t tear him down. It was the arm, the thin purple arm that digged in his stomach, knocked the breath out of him and made him fly until he collided with a wall and, suddenly, he was falling, falling, falling, everything was black.

He grumbled in pain as his body hit some debris, but he continued to fall down. It was a tunnel, or at least a hole, a deep one at that, they could have hidden there if only they’d had more time to search around. God, what happened to the officer?

He didn’t know how much he fell, but when he hit the bottom, it didn’t hurt that much. Maybe some bruised ribs, but, well. There was a growling from above, then another body came tumbling down the debris. Allen raised his head, saw the officer’s body some meters away from him, then he hissed when he moved his left arm. He couldn’t see too well because the hole was underground, therefore it was dark, but he could feel a deep gash there. He was bleeding too much from various cuts around his body too. This wasn’t looking to good.

The heavy body of the Akuma landed not too far from them, his red eyes gleaming in the dark in a way that sent a shiver through him. Then it started moving, calm, almost bored. Towards _him_. Hell, it was moving towards him.

“ _So, do you know where the Innocence is?_ ” asked the Akuma and grinned. Allen grimaced and tried to back down, maybe shift to a safer place where he could find his footing and…

“I don’t,” replied Allen and, somehow, managed to smile. “Bad luck, uh?”

“ _Oh, I’m not sure about that_ ,” said the Akuma and let out a loud laugh. Its leg, still twisted like an animal’s, still armored, moved and Allen closed his eyes.

As he thought, the armored foot hit him square on the chest, leaving him again without breath and throwing him against what could have been a wall. If he could have opened his eyes after the hit he could haves seen where he was. He wasn’t sure if he had screamed or not. Because his face hurt like hell. It burned, it was cold, it hurt, _fuck_ , it hurt.

He needed to move. He really needed to move away from that wall. There was something in his face, he was sure that it had pierced him, it hurt, it burned, it was still there and _he couldn’t move, why couldn’t he move away?_

He struggled to raise his hand and after a few seconds he managed to do so. He ignored the amused laugh of the Akuma, how it seemed to wait for him to figure out what had happened, only to laugh even more when his hands made contact with the sharp metal that was still piercing his face. His eyes widened, he made a gurgling sound and managed to get the energy out of his desperation to get away from it.

God, there was so much blood, he could feel it running through his face, his left side almost numb, only to make a loud ‘plop’ when the crimson drops fell on the ground. He couldn’t see from his left eye, he couldn’t, and he could hear himself gasping for breath, chest heaving and arms trembling so much that he had to lean on the rocks to support him.

“ _Okay, so can you tell me where the Innocence is?_ ” asked the Akuma again, voice cheerful but with a threatening note hidden under it. Allen frowned but stopped when that only made his pain worse. He gasped again, hands moving to his face, but he didn’t dare touch it, didn’t dare make it worse.

“What are you… talking about?” Moving his mouth hurt so bad, his lip trembled and tears started running down the right side of his face.

“ _My superiors had told me that you know where it is_ ” said the Akuma. Then it paused. “ _Wait, you’re Allen Walker, right?_ ”

_Walker?_

“I’m not… him,” struggled to say Allen and the Akuma tilted his head to the side. “My surname is not ‘Walker’.”

“ _Uh, but I thought I had it right_ ,” said the Akuma, apparently to itself. “ _Plus, your aura is pretty clear about it_.”

_My aura?_

Allen coughed and wasn’t even surprised when he saw more blood pouring from his mouth and onto the floor. His face was going numb, his sight was becoming blurry as the seconds ticked by and he didn’t have the energy to even think about what the Akuma was saying. It didn’t even make sense, he didn’t even have a surname, let alone ‘Walker’. Well, at least it sounded from somewhere from England, but well, who knew anymore, right? Not him, not him…

“ _Ah, I know_ ,” exclaimed the Akuma and, with a happy laugh, began getting closer to him. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t even see clearly anymore. “ _I’ll just have to lure it here_.”

The Akuma got closer, Allen wanted to shout at it to go away, to leave him alone, to let him live a little more. But he knew that it wouldn’t stop, that it was a machine made for killing humans, like him, this was his time to die. But he didn’t want to. He felt like one of those spoiled rich kids that wanted something and cried to get their parents to buy it for them. He was clinging to his life, like those children clung to their toys and expensive electronics. He was clinging to those words, those mysterious words that had been a drive for him for all these years. He was clinging to those strange feelings of familiarity, to those dreams and nightmares. Ah, he wondered if _they_ were still alive…

The Akuma raised its arm, claw tense and ready and Allen closed his eyes. A sharp pain went through him, but he ignored it. This was it. It was a stupid way to go, Cross would laugh at him if he could see him.

But the Akuma didn’t kill him. Allen wished he had. Because the claw didn’t go through his torso, killing him instantly. No, of course not, it aimed for his left arm. The Akuma cut his arm right off his body.

It cut his fucking left arm off.

And Allen screamed so loud he felt his throat tearing apart.

He writhed in pain, screaming his throat raw, eyes wide open and oh, god, it hurt so bad, it hurt, it hurt, _it hurt_ , **_it hurt_ ** _._

He stopped screaming when his voice broke and he started whimpering, crying, shaking hand reaching to an arm that was not there anymore. He felt so cold, he was _freezing_.

He could hear the Akuma cackling loudly, a shout and then he could recognize the sound of a laser-gun going off, but the Akuma moved and, with another shout, Allen knew that the officer had died. He was probably a pile of ash by then.

But fuck, it hurt so bad, his sight was going black at an alarming rate, the Akuma was moving towards him again, metallic feet echoing in the cave or hole or whenever they were. Oh, was he planning on finishing him off, yes, no more pain, please.

“ _Uh, should I continue?_ ” asked the Akuma to itself and Allen would have said to just kill him if his throat wasn’t so fucked up already.

He heard how the arm moved again and Allen grimaced again, fat tears running down both sides of his face and it hurt, yes, but not as much as _the place where his arm was supposed to be_.

He could only see black, black, and hear the Akuma aiming, maybe for his right arm or his legs or something, shit, he hoped it was stupid enough to go for his head.

But then, the black faded and in its place was white and the Akuma had made a startled sound and Allen felt warm and fuzzy and as if he was on something soft.

The Akuma had said something, but Allen couldn’t understand it and he struggled to open his eyes (eye) when the claw that should have brought more pain to him never came.

When he opened his eyes, he immediately closed them with a soft whimper. There was too much light, blinding light, and he wanted to raise his hand to rub his eyes, but he couldn’t find the strength in him anymore. He made another attempt again when the Akuma continued talking about something and  this time he succeeded.

There was white, so much white, all around. Soft, warm, glowing and illuminating the cave they were in. He tried to recognize something, some shape, but his sight was too blurry.

Then, the white mass moved, a long and thin tendril of white got closer to the Akuma. Allen was surprised when he realised that it was bound by that white, tightly, giving an almost threatening feeling among the softness. The white tendril moved, the Akuma said something and, judging by the white, it had grinned, before the other white pierced him all the way, closely followed by more tendrils.

The Akuma disappeared in a waterfall of ashes that flowed through the white, without even leaving a trace of dirt in the pristine color. It was beautiful. Had he gone to heaven? No, but his arm still hurt a lot, his sight was still blurry and his face still sent stabs of pain. He was alive.

The white moved again, this time closer to him, closer, closer, until he could make out feathers, soft and white feathers that fluttered like small waves in a sea of white and gold light. It was just so beautiful and soft and when they touched him, so carefully, he felt a spark, as if a lightning had gone through him.

He raised his trembling hand, the only remaining one, and caressed the fluffy feathers. He was lightheaded, his eyes were closing slowly and he felt as if he could sleep for months, but, through all that, he could feel… familiarity.

The white moved, like white waves, towards him and it enveloped him, it hugged him, and he whimpered when it touched his still bleeding shoulder. His vision wavered, his eyes closed and his head fell to the side but he could still feel the white, soft, gentle, so familiar and so loving and suddenly he could feel the ground beneath his left arm.

He passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not in the best of moods to be honest, so... Comments and Kudos to cheer me up?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	4. Identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, they made my day! They really motivated me!  
> Also, this chap is mostly character development because Allen *needs* it. Really, Mana is so ingrained in his personality I found myself lost as to how to write him... oh, well.

There was something in front of him.

Something that radiated darkness, something that made him tense up and prepare himself to attack. 

But what was it?

He couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, couldn’t touch. 

He tried to move his hand, felt it heavier than he remembered, and his eyelids trembled when he struggled to open his eyes. 

It was dark, he wasn’t sure where he was, but there was someone else with him. 

No.

There was not some _ body _ , but some _ thing _ .

A shiver ran up his back, his forehead clammy with cold sweat, hair pushed back, hand outstretched towards…

Somewhere, in front of him, there was that  _ thing _ that was dark, pure darkness, twisted, an aura that made him uneasy and uncomfortable. 

His eyes moved to it, hesitant, and his hand trembled. 

And then he saw it.

A mass of purple, dark, with eyes, red eyes, staring at him, as if they were accusing him, as if everything was his fault. It was pain, it was suffering, it was desperation, it was sadness, it was bad, it was bad, bad, _ bad _ ,  **_bad_ ** .

And he woke up with a strangled gasp. He choked with whatever that was on his throat, rolled over and gagged until it came out. It fell on the dirty ground, over a brown and red patch of grey rocks. More red. Liquid, bitter and a red that gleamed under the soft light that came down from above.

He heaved, body shaking, and closed his eyes again. Then he paused. What happened?

Then it all came crashing to him. 

The officer. The Akuma. The cave. His eye. The Akuma. His arm. His arm. The  _ Akuma _ . The white. His _ eye _ . His  _ arm _ .

His eyes opened and he gasped again, moving, and raising… his left arm. What the fuck? He still had the arm, but didn’t the Akuma cut it off? The pain had been definitely real, goddamnit, he remembered the pain so clearly he could still feel it coursing through him in agonising waves. 

His arm was intact… Well, no, actually, because he could see red and that was  _ not  _ blood. 

_ Oh, hell, what happened? _

He struggled to sit up and found it much easier than what he was expecting, leaning back on the wall that he was pretty sure had been the one that had pierced his eye…

He lifted his right hand and touched carefully the left side of his face. It was covered in dried blood and the skin was still tender, but it wasn’t the excruciating pain that he’d felt before… Before, before, just how much time had passed since that? And what exactly had saved him...?

Oh, no, no,  _ no _ , that had been the Innocence, hadn’t it? The soft white, the warm touch, the protectiveness, the feathers. It had been the Innocence, the lost Innocence, that had saved him, that had protected him and had healed him enough so that he wouldn’t die and it had… given him… his arm…

But it wasn’t his arm, was it? He raised his left arm again, under the direct beam of dim light that entered through the hole above him. It was red, really red, like blood, and smooth until it reached his hand, where his fingers seemed segmented, almost like armour or scales. And in the center of his hand… 

“Innocence…” he mumbled, wide eyes staring at his hand, shocked and confused. 

But why, why had he been saved by an Innocence that didn’t even react when he was mere centimeters away from it, in that car? An Innocence that hadn’t gone to him until he was nearly dead. And why him? There were millions of people that died by Akuma and no Innocence saved them, why would it save him? Fuck, why did he feel that stupid familiarity with a  _ weapon _ ?

He frowned and flinched when pain shot through his head. Okay, he wasn’t healed fully. And, something that bothered nearly as much as the Innocence that was now his left arm… He couldn’t see from his left eye. The world was strangely flat for him and the darkness didn’t help.

Had the injury been that serious? Had he lost his eye? He didn’t even want to touch it, just in case there was another cut over it and he could re-open it again or worse, his eye was in an even worse condition.

He tried to gather his thoughts, tried to think clearly. He couldn’t panic. Not now, when there could be Akuma still around. He didn’t know how much time had passed, because days were really long, even if they couldn’t see the sun, it had been more than a century since the last time someone had seen the sun, after all.

He braced himself against the wall behind him and grunted, legs trembling, but he managed to stand up. He could see red and brown, on a sharp piece of metal that came from inside some rock, and he quickly averted his eyes. He took a shaky step, and then another when he didn’t fall down. 

When he looked up, he could see the extremely blurry shape of what had to be the half moon. It was night, then. He looked back down and walked until he was near the wall. Maybe he could climb the debris. He could see a path. If his legs didn’t give up on him, he should be able to go out on his own. He sighed and his head fell forward for a moment, his eyes nearly closed, and he slapped his cheeks to remain awake. He would sleep when he was safe at his apartment. 

Then he paused. And raised his hand to grab a lock of hair. He stared.

_ Why the fuck is my hair white? _

He grabbed another lock, and another, and another, and growled when all of them were the same silvery white that glinted under the faint moonlight. As if it wasn’t enough that he was bloody and with a red arm. Just how would he go to his apartment without being seen?

White glowed on the darkness, he wasn’t in the best condition and, of course, he was in a city, so he had to worry about the curfew. He supposed it was something good, because there wouldn’t be anyone out at the street, just some police officers, but really, he wasn’t sure if he could outrun them. If he was lucky (which usually wasn’t the case), he could dodge the police officers and security cameras. He wasn’t sure where they were exactly but it was easy to find them.

He looked at his arm. His sleeve was torn, of course, it had been cut along with his whole arm. He didn’t even want to find his arm. He was sure that he would really have a panic attack and it wasn’t the time for that, he needed to get out of there, as soon as possible.

Allen looked around and found the clothes of the officer. Oh, he didn’t want to do that, but he couldn’t have the city’s police officers seeing that he had synchronized with the lost Innocence. At least, not when his mind was still in disarray. 

He managed to find a long sleeved shirt under the uniform of the officer and he hoped that, if they did catch him, they just thought that a hoodie that was missing a sleeve with a long sleeved shirt under it was just a new trend. 

He spent the next two hours climbing through the debris, being careful not to fall down or destabilize the pieces. He was really good at climbing but his arms and legs shook too much and  _ God _ , he was so  _ tired _ . He’d needed to do numerous breaks, because his sight kept spinning and his legs gave out under him if he put too much pressure on them for too long. Not to mention that he kept touching air, because the world didn’t have depth anymore for him. 

The walk to the city was long, if only because he was really disoriented when he got out from the hole and, when he searched for his phone, he found the pieces scattered around the rocks. He still managed to pocket some of them in his torn jeans.

Really, wearing a dead man’s clothes wasn’t something he wanted to do again. He felt horrible. He regretted not being able to help him, even if he knew that he couldn’t have done anything. There was still some ashes in the shirt and he could feel it, could feel the ashes rolling down his cuts. God, he wanted to cry.

When he reached the city, he was extremely careful and looked around, locating all the security cameras before moving around the buildings in a way that wouldn’t get him caught. It was difficult, specially when officers got close to his hiding place and his breath came out on loud gasps because of his exhaustion. 

He even thought about just giving up and showing himself to them, to ask them to bring him to a hospital, to say that he was the real Exorcist, waving the red hand with the cross in their faces. But he couldn’t, because he was still confused, he wasn’t thinking straight and, most of all, he was scared. He was scared of the weapon that was attached to him, scared of what that meant, scared of his own feelings. He still felt a deep bond with the Innocence and it scared him so much because  _ he couldn’t understand what the hell was wrong with him _ . 

When he finally entered through the doors to the building his apartment was in, he sighed and nearly collapsed right then, right there. But he kept moving forward, like those stupid words that haunted him, didn’t let him rest. 

He was so grateful for elevators, goddamnit, he was, because he couldn’t climb up ten levels of stairs. He wasn’t even sure he could lift his feet up, he was just dragging them at this point. 

He struggled to open the door to his apartment and didn’t even turn on the lights. He just shuffled towards his room and collapsed on his bed. He groaned when his face grazed the pillow, but he didn’t have time to move or even suffer the pain, because he was out like a light in less than a minute.

He could only feel warmth, softness, his eyelids were heavy and his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

* * *

 

When he awoke, he flinched in pain and immediately sat up in bed. When he opened his eyes, he saw red on his pillow and raised his hand to his face. He was bleeding again. He’d been really stupid, hadn’t he?

He almost fell on the floor in his hassle to get to the bathroom, slipping on the blanket that had somehow ended up on the floor. He used the door as support to move between the rooms and shoved the door of the bathroom to open it. He braced against the sink, heaving for breath, head lowered. He had to mentally prepare himself, he knew he’d changed physically, he knew that what he would see wouldn’t be pleasant. 

So, of course he hesitated.

The first thing he locked his eyes on was his hair. A pure white color, the fluorescent lights making it shine silver. Then, the second thing he noticed was his face. The left side of his face. It was completely covered in red and brown, but he could see the cut, unhealed, going through his eye. His eye was okay, he didn’t see any opened cut over it, and he’d be glad about that, if he could see. He couldn’t see from his left eye.

_ I’m permanently blind, aren’t I? _

He searched around and found a towel, soaked it under the icy water and proceeded to clean the blood off his face, carefully. He flinched a lot of times, it still hurt after all, but once he was mostly clean, he examined the cut. It was scarring already. It was weird. It was as if it had been days after he’d gotten it. But it hadn’t been days. 

He still put some bandages, to prevent it from getting infected and bleeding all over the place. He didn’t need to worry about covering up his eye, he couldn’t see out of it anyway. 

It was weird. He looked weird. He was different. Well, some people did dye their hair unnatural colors, and tattooes weren’t rare, he had one too, but. White hair. A scar on his face. It had been a lot less than a day, and he already missed his red-ish brown hair.

And, of course, as if that wasn’t enough, he had a red arm. Really, he was grateful for the Innocence, it had saved his life and given him the arm he’d lost, but a red arm. How could he hide that?

Not that he needed to. He was an Exorcist. He really should go over to the Government, maybe say what the desperate man had said (when was it? a day ago?) But he couldn’t bring himself to go, not after he’d just been through a really traumatic event like that. 

He tried not to think about the previous day, least he had a breakdown, and instead set to get something for breakfast. He didn’t know if he’d throw it up later, but he really needed some food in him. Fast. 

He spent some minutes staring at his breakfast, some cereal in a bowl of synthetic milk, until he could bring himself to eat without retching. His hands were shaking and he used his right hand to use the spoon, if only because he wasn’t sure he could gaze at his left normally. 

He cleaned up the bowl and closed his eye every time he gazed at his red left hand. After that, he managed to get to the sofa and sit on it. He needed to think what to do. And evading his left hand,  _ his _ Innocence, wouldn’t do him any good.

“What do I do, uh, Divine Crystal?” he asked his hand, almost expecting the green shard to light up and point something to him like in those absurd theories the people liked to come up with. He chuckled, cold, confused, afraid. 

He should go to the Government. They probably knew something was up, if only because an officer that was out patrolling was missing. He didn’t know, but people said that they had energy readings and, if a Innocence reacting wasn’t an important reading, he didn’t know what was. Then again, people said a lot of things that just weren’t true. 

What was more, what could he do? Run away? The world was ruled by an authoritarian Government that controlled every big area and, even if he were to hid at shelters and deserted areas, Akuma were usually drawn to Innocence, even more to active Innocence. He could destroy them, he could figure out how to activate, but really, it didn’t look too good. Shelters were poor by definition, even if most of the population of the world lived in them. If he were to go into a town or city, he’d had to deal with the authorities finding him, and Akuma and the police all in one place was sure to get him caught one way or another. 

But… but, if he did go to the Government, if he did become an Exorcist… Exorcists were said to live short lives. They got killed on the battlefield, if only because they are few and they are in the front lines, being the only ones able to kill an Akuma effectively. And the mysterious leaders of the Akuma, those shadows that moved the strings and that the Government refused to speak of…

Would he be betraying the one that passed  _ those _ words to him? If he became an Exorcist and he died, would he have betrayed  _ that _ person? Would it be betrayal if he didn’t even remember them?

He sighed. Even then, the best option was still being an Exorcist. He would be a Government dog, yes, someone under their direct command, under the direct command of the organization that allowed the world to crumble, that allowed the citizens to die of starvation and various disasters. He would be a spoiled rich soldier. 

No, he wouldn’t, would he? He wouldn’t allow that. He would just do his job, he would even take advantage of it and maybe, just maybe, he could help someone, he could make someone’s day better. If only because he’d saved them. 

He sighed, he was so tired, so exhausted, and to top it all, the previous day he’d had a strange nightmare again, a nightmare that he didn’t even had the time to think about until then. And he didn’t even have the energy to do so. Again.

He would go to the Government, as soon as possible, as soon as he prepared himself mentally for the backslash that would mean to him. His life was going to change drastically, and he was too tired for life’s problems, so he could only think of rest, rest and then deal with it all.

It was as if he’d accepted a sentence, that may or may not be death. 

But he wouldn’t back down.

“Keep walking forward, uh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos? Comments? Let me know if I'm doing this right!  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	5. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, another update. Why? Because it was my birthday this week and because I can.  
> After this chap things will get interesting and they'll move much faster. I'm really looking forward to it, to be honest.

He spent the next two days in the apartment. Laying around, getting used to having a red arm and not having depth perception and tending to his injuries. He’d made the mistake of forgetting that he had various cuts from the encounter with the Akuma, so he took care of them. Leaning back on something still hurt, though. 

He really hoped that there wasn’t the same receptionist as the other times when he finally got out of his apartment and into the city again when he went to the Government’s people. Really, it would have been relaxing, lazing around, if he didn’t spend most of the time overthinking his predicament. It wasn’t even a predicament, because he’d decided that he’d go. And he couldn’t work out, or practice acrobatics like every time he’d been anxious because he was still injured.

He managed to distract himself rebuilding his phone with the pieces he acquired and were supposed to go to his project. It seemed he wouldn’t be able to complete it. Or maybe yes, because he knew Exorcists worked with engineers and scientists. Would they make him study? He didn’t know how to feel about that, he’d never gone to school… only the rich kids in the city went. 

He didn’t really watch the news, only at night, when he’d finished eating and was starting to fall asleep. They were like a broken record. The Innocence was lost (it wasn’t anymore), a police officer had gone missing days ago. It didn’t take long for theories to appear. That the police officer was the new Exorcist, that he had found the Innocence and had sold it in the black market, that he’d just died because an Akuma or Skeleton attacked him. 

Really, he needed to go talk with someone, because he was starting to become a nervous wreck. His white hair was messy, messier than before, when it was still red, since Allen had taken to running his hands through it out of anxiousness. He needed to act, or else, he would run himself ragged.

If he was waiting for a sign to do so, three days after “the incident”, he found one shoved in his face.

His newly fixed phone vibrated on the table while he was cleaning the dishes after his lunch. He paused, confused, before the TV turned on by itself and he knew, even before looking back, that something was wrong. Really wrong. 

He turned around, immobile for a moment, as he hadn’t gotten used to the lack of depth perception yet, and then took small steps to the electronic devices. Their screens lighted up and the emblem of the Government appeared. Allen frowned, grimaced slightly at the pain still annoying him when making any facial expression.

“The evacuation has started,” said the woman on the screen, serious, back straight, she was probably one of the Government’s representatives in New Delhi. “An Akuma has been located in the central area of the city. So, as there aren’t any Exorcists nearby, we’ve decided to act and activate code red. All citizens, please, evacuate the area in an orderly way.”

Then, she started explaining how the evacuation worked, where they were supposed to go, which areas they were to avoid, some police officer’s locations. 

Allen let out a long sigh and plopped down on the sofa, holding his head and staring at the ground. That was it, right? That was his chance, he could save a lot of people and he could give himself to the Government. 

Then, why was he hesitating again? Hadn’t he spent the last days convincing himself to do it? He was an Exorcist, he had his Innocence by his side, it had destroyed one Akuma already. Was he hesitating because he wasn’t sure that he could destroy it? Or was it that he was still clinging to his old life?

There was a crash on the screen, some screams of terror, and the woman looked around, frowning but calm. The she turned to the screen, looked straight into his eyes, as if she was talking personally to him.

“Please, stay safe,” she said and then the connection broke. 

And oh, Allen knew that he’d made his decision as soon as he’d seen the worry in her eyes, her honest care, as soon as he’d heard the terrified screams around her. 

He didn’t get anything in particular, he only put on his boots and went out. It was still daylight, the days were usually warm enough, so he hurried down, to the entrance of the apartment. 

The people had gone out faster than him, there wasn’t anyone around and really, he was glad, because his red hand was eye-catching, never mind his white hair. He wondered if he’d need to pay for his accommodation on the apartment, but then he shrugged and focused on the task at hand. 

He remembered the way to the city centre and hoped that the Akuma was still there and that it was just a Level One or Two. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to deal with a Level Three like the one he’d encountered. 

As he got closer to the city centre, he could see panicked people dragging their belongings through the street, screaming and swearing at each other, children crying when they lost their families. Chaos. It was pure chaos and Allen found himself gulping, pushing through the hysterical people, going in the opposite direction. Nobody stopped him, they just kept running around in panic. 

He finally reached the place where the Akuma was wreaking havoc, destroying cars and the roads with extremely long claws. It didn’t look that humanoid, so Allen supposed it was a Level Two. But really, he wasn’t any expert on the matter, so he couldn’t be sure. 

The area was empty, save from some Government officials running around, keeping the Akuma occupied in there and blocking its path when it tried to get away to go after the people. It looked disgruntled, walking around slowly, almost pretending not to care, but then it lunged for someone, killing them, and sprinting to the end of the street, only to get blocked again. 

Allen hid behind a corner, breathing heavily. There it was, the Akuma he was supposed to fight. It was terrifying. He could feel the adrenaline starting to course through him, but he couldn’t really move. Not until…

“Hey, uh… how do I activate you?” he asked his hand, feeling more stupid by the second. It didn’t help thinking that it was sentient, he was still talking to his hand. The cross gave a faint golden glow and Allen frowned. “That doesn’t help at all!” There was a crashing from behind him and he looked over the corner, just in time for the Akuma to start digging its claws on the pavement like an angry animal. “Ah, hell…”

He tried to think of something, he couldn’t just stand there when he was supposed to fight, could he? But he couldn’t fight an Akuma if he didn’t have his weapon and he didn’t even know how to activate it. 

His eyes became wide when he saw an officer, too close, he was too close, and it was clear that he didn’t know how to get out of there, he was paralysed. Someone shouted something, maybe his name, Allen wasn’t sure, but the man was staring at the Akuma in front of him, wide eyed, terrified and horrified, hands shaking. His gun fell on the floor, the Akuma turned back completely and Allen acted immediately, without even thinking.

He started running, as fast as he could, his boots echoing in the street. His only eye was focused on the officer and he hoped he’d reach him in time. He didn’t want to see anyone else dying because of him, because of his hesitation. 

His body seemed to move on his own and he stretched out his left arm, the cross glowed a bright gold that almost blinded him and made him stop dead in the middle of the street, but he kept going, running, to the Akuma that had paused and was looking at him with surprise and delight, red eyes interested and locked on him. 

_ Innocence, activate. _

The golden light enveloped his arm and continued surrounding him, hugging his body, sending a pleasant warmth through him. He tried not to close his eye and continue running, but it was harder than it seemed and, by the time he managed to open his eye again, he had to raise his left arm, just in time to block the fierce slash from the Akuma. 

“An Exorcist, uh?” said the Akuma and its pointed beak-like mouth twisted in an ugly grin. “This’ll be fun, then.”

Allen was gasping for breath, staring at his arm that was blocking the huge black claws from the monster in front of him. It had changed of course, it was black with gold details and… claws. He had claws, a golden color that gleamed under the grey daylight. And there was something tickling his neck. Feathers?

The Akuma retreated his claw and Allen stumbled, hurrying to find his footing, before ducking down to avoid another slash directed at him. He saw white and gold, but he didn’t have time to be ogling at his Innocence, so he dodged all the slashes quickly, his eye narrowed. It was hard, he noticed, to dodge attacks when he didn’t have any depth perception because he couldn’t see from his left eye. 

He managed to do a backflip and get some much needed distance between them, so he could catch his breath. It was much harder than fighting with a Skeleton. The Akuma had a strategy, had intelligence, whereas the Skeleton just attacked and attacked without any plan in mind. They were mindless tools, after all. But with the Akuma, he could feel sweat rolling down his back and face. He couldn’t spend too much time in this, he was still injured, his cuts still stung. He had to finish it as soon as possible.

His hand moved on its own again, took hold of his cape and whipped the air with it. The same white material that covered his right arm and hand formed a wide cape that ended in long feathers that almost gave the impression of wings. When he let go of the cape, it changed form and the fabric stretched, forming a sharp tendril of cloth and feathers that pierced the Akuma through its thin torso. 

Allen froze, looked at his hand, gloved and maybe a little bit bigger than his normal hand, and frowned, confused. Then he looked back up at the Akuma, still pierced with the tendril, and then another tendril went through it, keeping it even more still. The feathers seemed to rustle in the wind and Allen gulped when he realized that the whole street was in silence, all the officers were staring at him with surprise and admiration and as if they were waiting for him to finish it off right then and there. 

Allen took a hesitant step forward, almost expecting the Akuma to break free and go straight at him, slashing him and killing him instantly. But it didn’t happen. Well, it would have happened, if his Innocence didn’t have the Akuma as immobilized as it was. 

How was he supposed to finish it off? Was he supposed to cut something specific off it or did he have to cut it to pieces? Or, maybe, just take out the spikes of feathers off it? 

He continued walking calmly towards it, mulling it over on his mind. He couldn’t ask the officers, right? They wouldn’t know anything about how to kill an Akuma, they weren’t Exorcists themselves. Ah, hell, he should have gone talk with the Government sooner. But, they could have moved him away from the city and the city would have been left with no Exorcist. 

The more steps he got closer to the Akuma, the more his cape curled, floating in the air like some twisted wing, ruffled feathers sticking out from its edge. It was so warm, so welcoming, but so confusing, it left Allen’s mind reeling. His next step shook and he hurried. He didn’t have time, he would just slash at it and see what happened. Apparently, his Innocence took a toll on him and it had been sooner than he’d expected. 

“So, are you going to destroy me, Exorcist?” asked the Akuma, voice arrogant and eyes amused. Allen ignored it and focused on his claws. “Uh, you’re just a novice. Ah, this is embarrassing.”

He raised his arm, claws tense and ready, and slashed its head from side to side. Then again on its torso. It was easier than it seemed. The claws tore through the metallic armour easily, almost as if it was mere air he was slashing through. They glinted under the light when he finished and he stood there, uncomfortable, legs shaking because of exhaustion, waiting for something to happen.

Then it did. The Akuma started shining, a dark gold, its eyes fell closed before they opened again and it gave him a startling smile.

“You’re gentle,” it said, then it sighed, tired and Allen frowned, confused. “It’s a shame that the Earl has seen you. I’m sorry.”

And then it disappeared in a waterfall of ashes, ashes that flowed through the white feathers of his cape until they fell on the cracked ground beneath. Allen stared at the place the Akuma had been in, his mind going through its words over and over again. He didn’t even notice the cape reshifting and hugging him again in a flutter of feathers. 

Who was that Earl? Could it be… the leader of the Akuma and Skeletons? The Government didn’t say anything about who commanded them, so maybe… 

A image of gold eyes appeared on his mind, like that time years ago, when he met them. But the golden eyes seemed more unstable than those of the other man, like… those from his dream…

He wavered and fell on his knees, the cracked rocks digging on his legs. He lifted his right hand to his head, frowning, ignoring the pain from the cut on the left side of his face. The feathers rustled around him until he could feel them retreating, until he could feel them disappearing in a whirling of white and gold. 

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He could feel a headache coming. But, well, he did it, didn’t he? He showed himself to the Government, showed that he was the Exorcist that had the lost Innocence. What would they do? He was in no shape to run away, he didn’t even plan to run away. 

It was a police officer who came to him, cautious, as if he was some kind of animal that would attack him or run away from him. Allen just looked at him through his bangs, heaving and hugging his left arm to his chest. He looked past the man, and noticed another one talking with someone on the phone, a serious expression on his face. 

“Are you, uh, okay?” asked the officer when he was close enough. He stood there, clearly uncomfortable, waiting for Allen to be the one to make the first move.

“More or less,” answered Allen and he almost grimaced at his shaky voice. 

He raised his head and looked around, searching for the other officer whose life he’d saved. He located him in no time, as there were a few more men and women around him, probably asking him if he was okay. His gaze softened and he relaxed his shoulders with a deep sigh. 

“Here,” called the officer and when Allen turned to him again, he found a hand stretched out for him. He hesitated for a moment, he didn’t know the man, but then he reached out and took the hand. With his help, he managed to stand up on his shaky legs. The officer was looking at him with concern, his eyes taking note of the bandages on his face and then on his torso. Did some cut reopen? “Come here. We are contacting the Government, because you’re an Exorcist, but I think that we should take you to a hospital first.”

The officer helped him along and Allen followed silently, too tired to say anything else, too tired to even think of protesting. The officer sat him on a rock when they got to the other man, who had apparently finished on the phone and who looked at him with a mix of worry and unease. But then the other started talking to him, gesturing at Allen with a hand. 

He supposed he was telling him about the hospital, but really, Allen couldn’t focus anymore. He felt drained, as if he had been running around all day, which wasn’t the case at all. Was it the Innocence? Probably. His head almost fell forward and his eyes closed for a moment before he caught himself and he leaned back on his hands. His left arm trembled. 

“Okay, follow us, we’ll take you to the hospital,” said the same man, getting closer to him, this time more at ease, he was smiling softly, and he held out his hand again, which Allen didn’t hesitate as much to take. “So, that Innocence… is it the one that was lost some days ago?”

“I think so,” said Allen, because it wasn’t common for two inactive Innocences to be in the same place at the same time. The officer hummed and they continued walking. Allen noticed that the officer whose life he’d saved was trailing them. He probably went to the hospital with them. Was he injured too?

“How old are you?” asked the officer. He seemed curious, now that he knew that Exorcists weren’t some sort of inhuman beings and that he could have a normal conversation with him. Allen wondered if he’d met another Exorcist some time, then shook the thought aside. 

“Around 18 years old,” he answered and nearly stumbled over some rocks in the path. 

The way to the hospital was long, at least for him, and at some point he’d started dragging his feet. He couldn’t focus on what was said around him, but he hoped it wasn’t directed at him. Or maybe it was and they had just given up. He came back to his senses when he smelt the strong smell of antiseptic and he found himself in the middle of a white hall, with doctors running around with various instruments and patients. 

One of the officers took his arm and led him into a room, where a doctor, with tired but kind eyes, sat him in a soft bed while he talked with the uniformed men. Allen looked around at the posters hanging on the walls, the desk in one corner, some instruments on a table near them. He recognized the word ‘Exorcist’, but he didn’t even make the effort to understand much more. 

The doctor took off his bandages and took care of his injuries. Some of them had reopened during the fight, it seemed, because his shirt had small red specks. When the doctor examined the cut on his face, he grimaced and Allen focused back on the present at once. The doctor sighed and looked at him right in the eye.

“Do you see anything from your left eye?” he asked, kindly, as if careful not to scare him. Allen shook his head slightly. The doctor sighed again. “Of course you don’t. I’m sorry, you’re permanently blind.”

“What?” yelped one of the officers and Allen turned to look over his shoulder. Oh, they were still there. Were they his bodyguards or something? Or did they actually care for him? 

“I knew that,” he said finally, voice soft. The doctor looked at him and continued tending to the cut on his face, eyes thoughtful. 

“We could fix it. With the advanced technology we have, a simple surgery could do it. It’s expensive. And maybe dangerous. The Government would be willing to pay for it, because you’re an Exorcist. But,” the doctor smiled at him and Allen frowned, “it’s your decision.”

Allen immediately shook his head. He would not use the Government’s money for himself. He refused. Plus, it wasn’t that bad. He hadn’t lost his eye, had he? The doctor seemed to have been expecting that answer, because he nodded in understanding and continued with his work. 

The doctor put some plasters on his face and told him not to pick at them too much. He could take them off some weeks later, but it wasn’t really that bad anymore. He almost collapsed when he stood up to go to a hospital room they said they’d prepared for him, but managed to walk the short distance between there and the room.

He hadn’t been in a hospital for years. He remembered that the last time he’d been, it had been when he’d been fighting a Skeleton, when he was still staying with Cross. He hadn’t seen the weather forecast, he’d been searching around some ruins for something of value, a Skeleton had appeared out of nowhere and, to top it off, it had started raining. So, yeah, he went to the hospital to check out his burns and cuts. But he’d never stayed to sleep. 

“Just rest for now,” said the officer from the door. He seemed like a good man, Allen thought, from his perch on the soft bed. He didn’t lie down, he would do that when he was completely alone and he could lock the door with the chair in the corner. “Tomorrow, some people from the Government should come pick you up.”

As he closed the door after him, Allen let out a deep sigh. His life was going to change. Probably for worse. But, well.

“I’ll keep walking,” he mumbled while he placed the chair on just under the door’s handle. He’d been lucky the doors were those old ones where you needed to turn the handle to open them. He looked out of the window and plopped on the bed. “And, who knows, maybe I’ll find out who you are?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	6. Over the Clouds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are moving on and the characters we love will be showing up more and more in the next chapters! Ahh I can finally add more character tags to the fic. Tbh you could spoil yourself just looking at the new tags I'll be adding, but eh *shrug*. Enjoy!

When he woke up, he was confused at first. He was in a room that was all white and smelt of antiseptic. So, of course, he panicked and sat up too quickly in bed, which wasn’t a smart decision, as his head started spinning and he had to close his eyes. God, his stomach hurt, he was so hungry.

Then everything that happened the day before hit him like a train and he gasped, looking down at his red hand. It was still there. And he could see the white strands of his hair. It hadn’t been a dream. Of course it hadn’t been. It never was. 

He could hear some ruckus outside his room and he frowned. He didn’t know if he should listen on the conversation, just wait, or maybe get out of the room and find out first hand what was happening. He recalled that the officer had said something about Government people coming to pick him up, so maybe that was them. 

Shrugging, he slipped out of bed and moved the chair away. He grabbed the doorknob, but he hesitated. The conversation seemed tense. He paused and put his ear to the door, trying to understand what they were saying. 

“We need to take him to Moscow,” said one voice, young, younger than what Allen was expecting someone from the Government to sound like. He frowned and sat on the grey floor. That voice… where had he heard it before?

“Why Moscow?” asked another voice, and this was one Allen could recognize, as it was the same officer that had helped him the day before. There was a rustle. 

“Because we will meet another two Exorcists there,” said the young voice. Suddenly, Allen felt nervous. Other Exorcists. How would they be like? He’d never met another Exorcist, he’d just seen maybe one or two of them in TV for just a fleeting moment. Would he… feel like he knew them? “They are two new Exorcists too, they appeared some weeks ago. We need to lead them to Chicago. Together. We don’t want anything to happen to them.”

Allen grimaced. Yeah, the Innocence attracted the Akuma and it wasn’t a good idea to have them deal with them all on their own. He’d been lucky, he supposed, to fight only one Akuma and get out unscathed. For the most part, at least. He’d been really close to passing out after the fight and he wondered for a moment if he could do something to avoid that the next time he fought. Yeah, he  _ had _ to fight now…

“Do we need to pick up his belongings?” asked a new voice and Allen returned to the real world, blinking and shaking his head. There was a rustle of clothes.

“Do you know where that is?” asked the young voice. 

“No, he’s been sleeping all this time.” There was a pause. “And he’s locked the door.”

“Well,” the young voice paused and Allen waited impatiently. He’d done good by locking his door, he didn’t want anyone touching him or stealing his things. The card that opened the door to his apartment was still in his pocket. “He’s not sleeping anymore. He’s just eavesdropping right now.”

Allen jumped and his breath hitched. How the hell…? 

He stood up slowly, trying to make little noise, took a deep breath and let it out calmly, before opening the door and sticking his head out. He frowned in the direction the young voice had come from and his silver gaze was met by a brown one. He really was young, he was in his early twenties if Allen had to guess by his appearance, with long blond hair braided neatly and sharp eyebrows. 

“How did you know that I was awake?” he asked. He didn’t admit that he’d been eavesdropping, though. 

The man frowned slightly, in a way that left Allen’s mind scrambling to pick up some memory, because  _ that _ was something he’d definitely seen before, but it didn’t find anything and it just left him more confused. Maybe he’d seen someone doing it? But it didn’t make sense, it was similar to how he’d felt three years ago when he’d met those three teenagers, but  _ it wasn’t the same _ . And maybe he’d felt something with Cross. He didn’t trust anything related to that man, but he  _ might  _ have felt something with him. It had been too long, though, he didn’t really remember much of their first meeting. 

“I felt you,” he said simply and Allen grimaced. Okay, that sounded wrong. The man had probably seen his expression, because he coughed lightly and continued. “I felt your aura. Exorcists aren’t hard to feel for someone trained like me.”

_ Crow. _

Allen’s frown deepened but he didn’t say anything else, wary of the new man. Maybe that was it, maybe he’d seen him on the TV or around or he didn’t know. The thing was, the man could feel his aura. Not that he was going to run away, he’d already decided what to do. It was still hard to ignore his instincts. 

“Could you give them the information they need to get your belongings?” asked the man and Allen followed his gaze to the other people there. “We need to discuss some matters before leaving.”

Allen hesitated for a moment, felt the sharp eyes of the man locked on him, as if trying to read him, before sighing softly and getting out of the room completely. The man’s eyes traveled immediately to his left arm, to his red hand that was still visible, and Allen stuffed it in his pocket, uncomfortable. He reached into his other pocket and looked over the small card, before giving it to the uniformed people waiting for him and watching him with a sort of curiosity and respect to which he wasn’t used to. 

“Follow me,” said the blond man and Allen looked back a last time, before doing so. He looked over the expensive looking suit, dark grey, the expensive shirt, white, and the neat tie, blue. He tried to hide his grimace, but he wasn’t sure that he’d done it in time. They entered what Allen supposed to be a doctor’s office and the man sat behind the desk, leaving the other seat for Allen. “My name is Howard Link, deputy secretary to the Supervisor of the European Branch. I will ask you some questions, if that’s alright with you.”

“Go ahead,” answered Allen with a tense shrug.  _ I’m not going to tell you everything, don’t worry. _

“Is that the Innocence that was lost some days ago?” asked the man, Howard Link, and Allen sighed softly. They were the same questions.

“I suppose,” he said simply and the man took a piece of paper and started writing down. Oh, well, that reminded Allen of all the interrogations he’d been through when he first started travelling with Cross and he failed to get out of trouble by himself. 

“How did you get it?” asked the man and Allen paused, mulling over the question. What to say, what to say…?

“I encountered an Akuma and it saved my life,” he answered and, well, it wasn’t a lie, was it? The man frowned and wrote it down quickly. There was a pause, before the man raised his head again and locked his brown eyes on him again. 

“Did the police officer die at that time?” Allen’s breath hitched (damn it, he lost control) and he gripped his worn pants. He was still careful with his left hand, he didn’t want to tear the fabric apart. 

“He did,” he said and he had to focus really hard not to let his voice waver. Link only looked at him for a long moment, and Allen met his gaze, even, guarding his eye as much as he could. After some long moments that seemed like hours, the man wrote on the paper again, focused, and Allen let his shoulders fall slowly not to attract the other’s attention to him.

“Did you activate it then?” asked Link, still writing, and Allen had to think for a moment. 

Did he activate? Not really, right? It just acted on its own. He didn’t control it, he didn’t even know what was happening, he was too caught up with his pain. It didn’t even have a form, he only remembered feathers and white, no gold, no black. Did that mean something? 

“I don’t think so,” he said, voice thoughtful. “I think it acted on its own, but I wasn’t really in the best condition.”

Allen knew that the man had connected the dots and that he had deduced that his injuries (at least the majority of them) had been from that time. His eye and the cuts. There wasn’t any scars that would tell about the pain he’d felt on his arm, and he wasn’t about to tell anything about it to anyone. At least not yet, not when he barely knew the man. 

“Okay, and can you activate it now?” Link finished writing and raised his head to look at him, attentive, hands folded on the table. Allen frowned.

“Didn’t you say that Exorcists’ auras are easy to perceive?” Really, his hand was pretty obvious and if the man could feel his aura, then why would he need further proof? 

“Yes, and I can feel it,” explained Link and Allen arched an eyebrow, making the man sigh. “This is just a precaution to be sure that you can activate it well enough and to take note if there is some kind of problem with it.”

Allen lowered his head and looked at his left hand, red, with black nails and a cross that glowed golden when he focused on calling the Innocence forth. He still wasn't sure of how he'd activated it the last time. His body had moved on its own, as if he’d done it so many times that it was like second nature to him. So, when he focused on his left hand, on his arm, trying to find something that would give him a clue to activate it, he jumped when a warm presence touched his mind and the cross glowed a bright and cheerful gold, before he was enveloped by feathers. 

He was quick to hide his surprise, taking a deep breath and hoping that the flurry of feathers hid his blush. He was quite glad to see that he hadn’t been the only one to jump, if he has to guess by the way the blond man fixed his tie in a nervous gesture and cleared his throat. 

“Any… discomfort?” he asked and Allen paused, rearranging his fluffy cape so that it would fall down the backrest. 

“Not really… “ he mumbled. “Oh, but I do get really tired when I use it for a while.”

“For what I’ve heard… “ said Link, writing again on the paper. He made a gesture for him to deactivate his Innocence and Allen did so with only some hesitation and disappointment. “At first, the invocation is exhausting. It should get better with time.” 

There was another silence between them, in which Allen stared at the remains of green dust that floated around because of his activation and at the papers thrown around the desk, rubbing at his stomach. Someone knocked on the door and his head whipped around immediately, just in time to see one of the people from before, an adult uniformed woman, peeking through the door. She waited nervously until Link raised his head with a inquiring frown.

“The craft is here, sir,” she said and, for the first time, Allen wondered if Link was really important in the Government’s hierarchy. He was a Crow, wasn’t he? And deputy secretary. Should he ask, just to be sure?

“We’ll be there shortly,” answered the man and he finished the papers, lowered his pen on the desk and put the documents in a suitcase. 

Allen just stared, uncomfortable. His stomach hurt. Just how much had it been since he last ate? When he checked his still cracked phone, his eye widened when he saw that it was close to mid-day. No wonder his stomach was acting as if it was eating itself. 

Link stood up and Allen was quick to do so. He followed the blond man through the hospital’s hallways and he was tempted to find the doctor that had tended him the previous day, but he was sure that they wouldn’t let him. They seemed to be on a tight schedule. 

“We will board the craft and it will take us straight to Moscow,” said the man, business-like, eyes staring ahead. “Your things are already there and we will spend one day at the base on Moscow, before flying to Chicago, where one of the Exorcist’s Headquarters are located. If we take off now, we should arrive at Moscow just before lunchtime.” 

“Wait, when can I eat?” he asked immediately, eye wide and disgruntled expression on his face. 

Really, he couldn’t stay much longer without food. He had gone days without food before but, for some reason, he felt as if he would pass out if he went on much longer. Was it the Innocence? He’d been passing out a few times in the past days, it was getting kind of inconvenient. 

“There’s plenty of food on the craft,” explained Link and looked back at him with a pointed gaze. Allen found it easy to match it with one of his own. Link turned back ahead. Did he think he was some kind of rich boy from the city? He was really mistaken then.

They arrived at the back of the hospital and Allen nearly raised his hands to cover his ears because of the intense noise coming from the outside. Link didn’t seem faced, but he did have a frown on his face, something that Allen was wondering if it was permanent on him. 

The craft was big, but not the biggest one Allen had seen around. Its surface was silver and white, clean, it reflected the sky’s grey color, and the short and sturdy wings were almost trembling because of the reactors under them. Allen could see the front part and he was left wide eyed at the wide windows that would probably be the control room. 

They walked to the platform that led inside, fighting against the wind that whipped their clothes. Allen felt more and more nervous as they got closer to it. It was the first time he’d gone inside a craft, much less fly in it, and the intense noise and pressure that the reactors put in the air wasn’t helping him at all. He could feel it reverberating in his chest.

When they were safely inside, Allen tried not to make it too obvious that he was shocked and gawking. Maybe he did fail a little. The platform shifted, it folded on itself, before closing the entrance with a loud thud. The reactors became even louder, before they became silent and Allen could feel the craft shifting, nearly ready to take off. That was fast. 

“You can wander around all you like,” said Link, turning to him. Allen nodded, distracted, looking around. “There’s a sitting room if you walk straight that way,” he explained and pointed to the door that was just in front of them. “The rooms are to the left of the door, if you need to change clothes or need something of yours.” When Allen still stared at him, he sighed. “The food is in the kitchen, just next to the sitting room. This craft isn’t that big, so you shouldn’t worry about getting lost.”

They crossed the door and they left behind the dark room of the entrance, where Allen had seen some missiles strapped to the dark walls. Inside, it was the opposite, with pale walls and furniture. It was almost cozy. He was about to take his leave, to go find his room, change clothes and then eat, but then, he paused.

“Hey, Link,” he said and was surprised at how natural it felt to say the name. Almost the same as… “You said that you could feel that I was an Exorcist… are you a Crow?”

Link stopped dead on his way, posture rigid and, when he turned to gaze at him, his eyes were narrowed, with a glint to them that Allen couldn’t quite place. He stood his ground, though, stuffed his hands in his pockets as he waited for an answer. He was starting to think that the other wasn’t going to answer him, but Link sighed at last.

“I am,” he said, but Allen couldn’t go, because he asked him, “how did you know?”

“You said you were trained,” he said and turned to walk away. 

_ That’s not it, is it? _

He ignored that thought and just walked down the hallway. He was pretty sure that the other man knew that, too, that it wasn’t just because he’d said that. But what was he supposed to say?

He didn’t know where the rooms were, but he knew he was in the right direction when he saw some doors in both sides of the hallway. Okay, but where was  _ his _ room? Link hadn’t said anything about it.

He tried all the locks, finding nearly all of them locked. They flashed red at him, until he tried the door at the end of the way and found it unlocked. It was a simple room, but Allen was sure that it was the best one he’d had in all his life. The bed was comfy, he had a glass desk, clear and with a computer on top, and a window that showed that they’d took off at some point. He hadn’t felt a thing. There was also a bathroom attached to the room, something he planned to make use of right away.

His tattered bag was by his bed’s side and he didn’t lose time exploring the room. They’d fly to Chicago the next day, wouldn’t they? He’d have time to search around. He wanted a nice hot shower first. And then food. 

He spent more than he’d wanted trying to figure out how the shower worked, but when he did, he had to be careful with his injuries. The plasters on his face peeled off his face, so he removed them and put some new ones he’d found in the first aid kit he’d found in one of the bathroom’s cupboards. Even the bathroom was all warm and light colors. They put him at ease. The walls were a light green and the floor was a light cream color.

When he exited the bathroom, he stumbled and stared at the window. He walked, careful, eye glued to it, fluffy towel still on his hair. 

The world outside the window had turned dark, really dark, and when he got closer to it he could see some small white specks in the distance that he supposed were the so called stars. When he tilted his head to the side he saw a grey and blue mass and his eye widened even more when he recognized it as the Earth from above. From above the surface, from above the contaminated atmosphere and grey skies, from above the areas that were too polluted to even breath without a mask. 

He took a step back from the window when his stomach grumbled and sent a stab of pain through him to remind him that he was hungry and needed food. He left the window reluctantly and left the towel on the desk chair. 

He wasn’t sure that he hadn’t gotten lost, but the point is that he had found the sitting room. It was empty when he arrived, which he was grateful for, so he went straight to the kitchen. It was easy to spot, there was a counter leading to it. He didn’t even bother going in through the door, he just jumped over the counter and set to find food. He opened cupboards, found chips and cookies, something that he rarely had enough spare money to buy, and when he opened the tall fridge his mouth almost watered at the sight of so much food. 

He managed to fit all that he was interested in in his arms and jumped over the counter again, going straight to the circular sofa that was in the centre of the room. He was tempted to just jump over it, but he didn’t want to drop all his food, so he just climbed down the stairs to sit on the navy blue sofa. 

He’d hoped for there to be a window so that he could still look at the space, but there wasn’t. He ate all the food in a moment and then paused. Had he always been able to eat that much? He knew that he tended to eat more when he could, but to eat all that… oh, well.

This time, he did feel the pull when they started rocketing back down. It wasn’t as brusque as how he’d imagined it to be, it was more of a tilt before it stabilized itself again. He hummed. How much had it taken them to arrive? Not much.

He checked his phone and looked at the time. It was lunchtime, it seemed, at least in Moscow. He pocketed his phone again, grimacing at the obvious crack on the screen. He wondered if they would give him another phone, one that would be able to contact them and aid him in his missions. 

It still felt weird. Being an Exorcist. Days before, the only thing he needed to worry about was surviving in a broken world, find food, find shelter, find pieces for his project. But then, the Innocence synchronized with him and the world’s fate fell on his hands, his mismatched hands, and he was plunged in a different world, where he had to fight, not only for himself, but for all humanity. It was a heavy burden, one that would only leave him if they somehow won the war… or if he died. 

He didn’t want to think about that, but it was his new reality. The words, those mysterious words, still haunted him and made him move even if he didn’t want to. He wanted to find that person, that person that made his survival to be such an important aspect for him. Those words were the one thing that had made him keep living, keep fighting. He really needed to find that person, because that person was important enough for him to cling to their words and keep living in a world that was so  _ unfair _ it hurt to exist.

The craft trembled for a moment and the annoying noise from the reactors returned, so Allen supposed they’d arrived at Moscow. He didn’t know what to do. Should he stay and wait for someone to come find him? Or should he go to the entrance by himself? 

He shrugged and got up from the comfy sofa. He debated with himself if he should go find his bag, but then decided to just wait for someone at the door and just ask them. Maybe ask that Link guy, he seemed like someone he could talk with, even if he was strict and serious. Something told him that he was a softy under it all. 

When he arrived at the entrance there were people there, uniformed and carrying boxes. The platform was opened, but Allen couldn’t exactly see where they were. It was colder than in New Delhi, yes, but not exactly chilly. It was rare for it to be cold, even in the North of the planet. 

“Don’t worry about your things,” said a voice from behind him and Allen turned around, body tense and eye narrowed, ready to block a probable hit. He blinked when it was just Link. He’d been really quiet, that was a Crow for you it seemed. “They will move them to a room in the base. We will stay here for the night.”

Allen just nodded at him and followed him when it was clear that they needed to get off the craft. When Allen could see the outside, he wasn’t even surprised when he saw that they were on top of a hill, from where he could see the tall glass buildings of Moscow. They were more silver than New Delhi’s. 

The base was a medium-sized building, with just two stories. He supposed that the important stuff was underground. He followed Link through the back door and looked around. The base was really technological, he decided. There were rooms lined with wide computer consoles and panels and circuits. Allen was surprised to see that there weren’t that many people working around, but well, it was just a base. 

“The other Exorcists are here,” said Link and pointed to what Allen supposed was a sitting room or conference room, if he had to guess by the size it seemed to be. The blond man took hold of the doorknob and Allen gulped. Would they be good people or would they be just like people theorised they would be, cold and merciless? “We will fly to Chicago tomorrow at 6am, just after the sun rises.” He paused, then he added, “try to get along.”

And he opened the door. Allen got closer, carefully, trying to catch any sound coming from it. When he got inside and he could hear Link’s footsteps getting further away, he blinked when something passed by him, a blur of red, towards the other side of the room, screaming. Then another blur, this time darker. 

“Yuu is trying to kill me, somebody help me!” screeched the red blur. 

And Allen gaped. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos? Comments? Your comments and thoughts give me strenght!  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	7. Flashes of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chap was really fun to write, a breath of fresh air you could say, before everything starts going downhill... oh well at least not for a bit. A lot of the characters we know and love will start appearing from now on, so look forward for it!

Allen could only stare as the redhead continued screaming from the side of the conference room. The redhead, the redhead, the same redhead he’d met more than three years ago, in  Manchester, that redhead who he’d saved and with whom he’d fought against a Skeleton, that redhead that had seemed so familiar it hurt.

And then, the other man, the same asian man who had been searching for his friend and with whom he’d fought against the exact same Skeleton in that exact same place as the other, who seemed to him like an old friend. 

_ They were the same people that appeared on the photo he’d clung to and that he’d used as his phone background for years.  _

“Lavi, Kanda?!” he called, his voice wavering with something he couldn’t quite place. He didn’t know if he was glad, if he was insecure, if he was confused, or a mix of the three. 

The other two stopped immediately after that and both turned to him with expressions of surprise. Allen just stood there, like an idiot, clutching the door with his right hand and somehow being glad that he wasn’t gripping it with his left, because he would have destroyed it. There was an awkward silence between them, where they just stared at each other like idiots and Allen gulped after some minutes. 

_ Damn, I changed too much, didn’t I? Do they recognize me? _

But then, the redhead grinned from ear to ear and ran to him, laughing and, in no time, Allen found himself tackled by the tall redhead and, if he hadn’t been clutching the door, he would have fallen to the floor.

“Allen, buddy, I missed you!” said the Lavi, still smiling and when he let him go, the redhead took note of his hair and plasters on his face. His smile faltered. “But what’s with the new look? And you’re taller! And- wait a minute.” Lavi frowned, smile completely gone from his face, and Allen could see Kanda getting closer, arms crossed and scowling. “What are you doing here, Allen?”

There was a pause, Allen sighed and took a step back. He was shaken, but he supposed it was from a good thing. Then, he smiled, but he was sure that it looked forced and tired. 

“I’m an Exorcist,” he said and watched as Lavi spluttered and Kanda’s eyes widened. 

“An Exorcist?!” repeated the redhead and turned around, startling Allen and, from what he could see, even Kanda. Both of them had jumped and they watched, confused, as Lavi started walking around the table, mumbling to himself, eye downcast and expression thoughtful, arms crossed.

Allen could see some differences from three years ago. He was clearly older, his hair shorter and more spiky than ever thanks to the bandana he still wore around his head. The white medicinal eyepatch was now black and thicker and his eye seemed more serious, even if he did act mostly the same. Except now, that’s it.

“What’s with him?” he asked Kanda, eyes still locked on the redhead. The asian man just clicked his tongue and glared in his direction. Allen met his gaze without hesitation. 

“How should I know?” he snapped and Allen rolled his eyes. Still as grumpy as ever. 

Then he paused. Wait, he didn’t know him that much. And the last time he didn’t even snap at him. Oh, well, weird things always happened between them. He should get used to it, as he was going to live with them. 

Kanda didn’t change much either, he still had his long hair tied in a tight ponytail, but his face was sharper, as were his eyes, narrowed and focused. Then his eye moved immediately when the man moved his hand to his hip and Allen’s eye widened when he saw the sword strapped to his belt. No, it wasn’t a normal sword, was it? Its blade was curved. A… katana?

“Is that your Innocence?” he asked, and when Kanda arched an eyebrow at him, he pointed to the katana. Kanda’s eyes seemed to glint with something Allen couldn’t quite place, before he crossed his arms again and ignored his sword.

“It is,” he answered simply and nodded to him. “What about yours?”

Allen hesitated for a moment. Would they look at him as if he was a weirdo? His hand wasn’t exactly pleasant to look at, and the people in the hospital did stare at him with something similar to curiousness… and fear. 

“It’s my arm,” he said and raised his left hand for a moment, before stuffing it again in his pocket, even when there was a part of his mind that screamed at him to just let it out, that it wouldn’t matter how he looked. 

“That’s so cool!” shouted Lavi and Allen jumped again when the redhead was suddenly in front of him, eye glinting with interest and cheerful smile in place again. Kanda seemed to roll his eyes and sit on one of the conference chairs. He looked as if he was sulking, but Allen was pretty sure it wasn’t that. “Your Innocence is a Parasitic type!”

“Parasitic?” repeated Allen, a frown on his face. Wow, that sounded awful. 

“That idiot found some files about Innocence types while we were here,” said Kanda from the table and Allen’s frown only deepened. There were types, uh, that explained why Kanda had a sword. “He memorized everything just reading it one time. It was creepy.”

“It wasn’t!” whined Lavi, then he grinned again and reached into his oversized jacket’s pocket. Allen blinked, confused, when he showed him a tiny red hammer. “My Innocence is this hammer! It’s a Crystal type.”

“Isn’t it… a bit... ?” mumbled Allen, looking at the hammer and then back to Lavi’s excited face. Oh, his eyes were darker than he remembered, colder, more pained. 

Lavi laughed, loud, and his hammer glowed. It was different from his, the glow was red, a lively red that cracked through the air, until he had to jump back to avoid getting hit in the face by… the hammer. The two meters long hammer. It had… yeah, it had gotten bigger. 

“It’s a Red Type, too,” said Lavi, looking over the hammer and its red surface. Allen could only stare dumbfounded at it. Lavi grinned at him and asked, “what Type is yours?”

“Type?” asked Allen. God, he was so confused. Fortunately, Lavi wasn’t one of those know-it-alls that just blurted everything out and then never explained anything. 

“The Government classifies the Innocences with their Type, as in, Parasitic, Equipment or Crystal, and the color of the glow when they activate.” Lavi twirled his hammer, almost knocked it on the table, and deactivated it with a nervous laugh. He pointed at Kanda. “That guy’s Innocence is another Crystal Type and a Blue Type.”

“Stop rambling around about my Innocence, Stupid Rabbit,” snapped Kanda from the table. Allen arched an eyebrow at the nickname. Rabbit, rabbit, it somehow fit. He didn’t know why, but it fit. 

“Aw, c’mon Yu, he’s the new comrade, he can know about our Innocences,” he said, but Kanda just whipped his head forward again. Lavi turned to Allen again, his curious glint had returned to his eye. “Okay then, what Type is your Innocence? Apart from Parasitic, of course.”

“Gold, I think…” mumbled Allen, looking at his red hand. Lavi hummed.

“Oh, those are rare. Also, I wonder why the Government started classifying them like this?” he asked himself and Allen could only look at him with a smile as the redhead started rambling. “For what I’ve managed to read, all the Innocences glowed green in the last Holy War. I wonder what made them change? Maybe to release more power? And what does each color mean now?”

“Stop rambling, Stupid Rabbit,” said Kanda. Allen watched as the man stood and walked to them, arms still crossed. His dark eyes locked on Allen. “Our bedrooms are down the hallway.” He nodded at a door at the other side of the room. “So try not to get lost. I don’t want to go looking for you, Beansprout.”

“Be-beansprout?!” screeched Allen, bristling. His hands shook and he ignored the uncomfortable pain that shot through his face when he frowned deeply at the other man. “My name is Allen!”

“Whatever,” he grumbled and started walking calmly to the pointed door, hand grabbing the sword like an unconscious gesture.

Allen glared after him, grinding his teeth. He had introduced himself three years ago, was his memory that bad? What is more, Lavi had been shouting his name around for the past minutes, it was impossible that he hadn’t heard it. So, the only possibility was… he’d done it to spite him. Oh, he would show him. This was war. 

“O-okay, do you want to eat something?” asked Lavi between fits of laughter. Allen glared at him too, raised slightly his hand and the redhead struggled to calm down. “And, hey, do you want to steal the TV in the living room? We could watch a film in my room or yours. I would invite Kanda but, well, he might kill me.”

“Okay,” he said after a minute of grumbling and waited for Lavi to lead the way. 

He still managed to make the redhead stumble on a chair when they walked to the door, and Lavi slammed his leg against the table. He smiled innocently at him when he looked back at him reproachfully. 

“That was cruel, Allen,” grumbled Lavi, but kept walking, leading the way to what Allen supposed was the kitchen, rubbing his leg from time to time. He wondered how many days they’d been there, but then shrugged. It wasn’t that important.

The kitchen was completely deserted when they got there, but they could hear people talking outside one of the doors. Allen supposed it was the cafeteria. 

Allen grinned when he saw the food in the fridge and started taking some plates of cooked food while Lavi raided the cupboards. Spaguetti, some salad with too much orange that looked appetizing, some meat, a chocolate cake, some dumplings? Yes, definitely those too. Lavi had various boxes of cookies and chips and some weird crackers that had raisins on them. 

“My room or yours?” asked Allen when they got to the hallway that led to their rooms. The base was similar to how the craft had been, but well, the windows were bigger and he could see Moscow in the distance when he looked from some of them. 

Lavi hummed, thoughtful. It was weird, thought Allen, that he was this comfortable with someone. That only happened with Cross, and only sometimes. That is, when the other redhead wasn’t getting on his nerves or pissing him off to the point of screaming and violence. But Lavi, and even Kanda, seemed like friends to him. Which was… strange, because he’d never had friends before. 

“I think mine would be better,” answered the redhead and pointed to one of the doors. He shifted his armload and struggled to get his card out of his pocket and against the device, before putting his finger against it too. Uh, fingerprint detector, it had been a while since he’d seen one of those. “My room is a mess by itself, a bit more garbage won’t make a difference.”

When the door opened, Allen could see clearly what the redhead meant by ‘mess’. It was a mess, yes, something had exploded inside the room for sure. There were books everywhere, some of them organized in a pile on top of the glass desk, some of them just thrown around the room and some of them even opened by a random page. There were papers too, a lot of papers on the bed, with scribbles in various languages. 

“Do you remember Bookman?” asked Lavi as he moved away some papers from the bed so they could leave their food on it. Allen thought for a moment. “Old man, short, panda eyes?”

“Oh, yeah,” hummed Allen and smiled. “Your guardian?”

“Yeah, well, my mentor,” said Lavi and waved a hand in the air. “He activated at the same time as me. I activated first, to save his ass, obviously, and then, you know, the Crystal Types… their Innocence uses their blood to create their weapons. So, of course I was light-headed because of it, and the Panda activated too!” Lavi paused when he started kicking the wrinkled papers under the bed. Allen grimaced. Weapons out of blood… how much did they have to lose? “The Panda is just an Equipment Type, you see, so he went on without me! Can you believe that? And he left me all this work to do, that old man…”

Allen chuckled softly and tried to balance the food containers so they wouldn’t topple over and fall on the floor. So, Bookman was an Exorcist as well, then. He was quite old, though, he was worried. Would he be able to fight? But Lavi didn’t look too worried about it, and they seemed to know each other well, so maybe it was okay. 

“There’s a TV in one of the living rooms,” explained Lavi when they got out of the room again and roamed around. Allen hadn’t seen Kanda again, so he supposed he was in his room. “The staff should be still eating lunch or maybe working again, so there shouldn’t be anyone over there.”

Allen wasn’t exactly sure that they could do what they were about to do (steal the TV), but, well, he didn’t care much either. They were Exorcists, weren’t they? They were important for them, they wouldn’t dare tell them off for stealing some food and a TV. At least, he didn’t think so and, if they did, oh well, they were going to leave the base the following day. 

The living room was empty when they arrived and Lavi grinned widely before stalking over to the flat-screen TV in the corner. Allen followed him, trying, and failing, to stifle his laughter. Lavi set to work on the cables behind it while Allen took hold of it, ready to leave with it as soon as the redhead finished disconnecting it from the cream-colored wall. 

The door opened then, just as Lavi let the last red cable hang from the ceiling and everyone froze. There were three scientists, one of them had opened the door and they were all staring at them, the two Exorcists, both of them with shocked expressions on their faces, and one of them carrying the TV in his arms. 

“Oh, wow,” breathed Lavi, there was another pause and then, “Run!”

Allen jumped immediately and followed the redhead through another door, hugging the TV against his torso and being careful not to slam it against some wall or door. The scientists seemed to react too late, because Lavi managed to lock the door just before they all came lunging for them. They heard curses and swears in various languages, and they laughed loudly, before turning around and running off. 

“They’ll need a few minutes to run over to this side of the building,” said Lavi while they ran, an amused grin on his face. “And even then, I don’t think they would find us in our rooms.”

They continued running until they’d reached the hall with their rooms. Allen was surprised, as he waited for Lavi to open the door, to notice that he was smiling. Not one of those tired or fake smiles he used to deal with people, to keep people at a distance. A real smile. God, when was the last time he’d had so much fun? And it had only been because, what, he’d stolen a TV with… a friend? Were they friends? Was that what a friend was like?

“Okay, we’ll put it…” mumbled Lavi when they were inside. He looked over the desk, all the papers and books, before shrugging and throwing some of them to the floor. “Over there.”

“Good enough,” chuckled Allen and he had to twist to put the TV on the desk, careful not to let it fall forward. 

“Okay, let’s see what we got,” said Lavi and, after they connected the TV, they turned it on. 

They shuffled through the food they had carried over from the kitchen and let most of the wrinkled papers fall to the floor in an unorganized heap. They found a comedy film on a channel and watched it, eating, commentating some scenes, until they heard steps outside. Lavi lowered the volume and Allen creeped out of the bed and to the door. He opened it with the card Lavi had left lying around, literally, because it was on the floor, and peeked outside. Was it those scientists, going for them for revenge?

It wasn’t. It was Kanda. Lavi got closer to him from behind, as silently as he could, and peeked out the door too. As far as Allen could see, Kanda seemed to be carrying some kind of… bowl? Was it food?

“Oh, that’s soba,” whispered Lavi and he turned around to go back inside. Allen frowned but, well, there wasn’t anything interesting outside aside from the asian man, so he went back inside too.

“What’s soba?” he asked and mentally cringed. He somehow felt that he should know about it. Was it his pride of knowing a lot of dishes? Maybe. 

“Soba is a japanese dish,” said Lavi and he jumped on the bed, arms spread and grin on his face. Allen got on the bed too, not as violently as the redhead, and he grabbed some chips. “I was the first one here, you see, because I was still injured and all that. So, I saw that, when Kanda noticed there was soba here, he went straight to it. Straight. A perfect line. It was weird, but he was oddly happy after that. Which was even weirder. He eats it at least once a day.”

Allen laughed and continued eating his chips. Why didn’t that surprise him? It somehow fit the swordsman. He was pretty sure he didn’t even like sweet things. He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t seem like that kind of man. Maybe it was because of his permanent scowl. 

He ended up staying in Lavi’s room until it was dark out and he went to his own room when he’d finished the last plate of food they’d stolen. His own room was mostly the same. Same furniture, same size, same arrangement. He decided to take another shower the next day, just before they went to the craft to leave Moscow. He was determined to see more of the space, how they took off, maybe find a bigger window? 

The next morning wasn’t as chaotic as he’d imagined it to be. He managed to wake up sooner than he was supposed to, so he was quick to shower. He was thinking of going over to Lavi’s room to see if they were supposed to go somewhere and, if Lavi was still asleep (which was probable), he could go to Kanda. But he didn’t need to, because there was a knock at the door and an uniformed man took his bag to carry it to the craft. 

Link was outside too, checking a watch with a frown and, when Allen stepped out of his room, still touching the plasters on his face so they wouldn’t fall off, he saw why. Lavi’s door was still closed and the man that was supposed to carry his stuff was knocking at his door, clearly uncomfortable and nervous, he kept shuffling his feet and looking around, avoiding Link’s sharp gaze. 

Kanda was quick to exit his room and nearly throw his bag to another man, almost knocking him down, before the man ran off towards the craft. Allen stalked to Link and arched an eyebrow at the asian man when he glared at the redhead’s door. Allen jumped when Kanda stomped over to the man, shoving him out of the way, before kicking the door open. 

Allen sighed at the broken device that had blocked it before and rubbed his temples when he heard Kanda’s angry shouts and Lavi’s panicked screeches. Link tapped his arm and offered him a bag as soon as he looked at him and, when Allen opened the bag, he smiled when he saw the filled buns inside. 

“Geez, no need to be so violent,” grumbled Lavi some minutes later, trying to flatten his hair. Kanda just huffed behind him. 

Allen suspected the craft was the exact same one he’d been in the previous day, but he wasn’t sure. This time, though, he really wanted to see how they took off, see how they broke through the pollution and clouds and mist and how they got to the space. So, when they got inside and it was still early, he rounded on Lavi.

“Where are the windows?” he asked eagerly, but then he paused. “Wait, have you been in a craft like this one before?”

“I haven’t,” answered the redhead with a too wide grin. Kanda huffed again, but he seemed as interested as them. Allen’s shoulders fell and he sighed, but Lavi laughed and reached in his jacket’s pocket. “But, worry not, for I have a map!”

“Why do you keep stealing shit?” asked Kanda, but he didn’t look like he disapproved. Allen arched an eyebrow at him.

“I’m pretty sure you do it yourself,” he said, remembering the previous day’s soba. Food was usually eaten in the cafeteria, for what he’d seen, so Kanda had had the same idea as them. 

“Shut up, Beansprout,” snapped the older one and took a step forward, but Allen didn’t back down and just stared at him.  _ Try it, jerk. _

“Okay, no fighting, children,” said Lavi with a cheerful smile. Kanda only glowered at him, but didn’t move again. The redhead opened the map and Allen looked over his arm. Oh, it was in russian. He didn’t know enough russian. Lavi hummed. “We could go to the rooms, but…” the reactors made that intense sound again and they grimaced. “We don’t have enough time. We’ll have to sneak to the control room.”

Lavi pointed a wide room and Allen became excited. The control room was the one that had all those wide and tall windows, where the numerous pilots controlled the craft thanks to various computers. He’d seen those rooms in some documentaries the TV was prone to emit, if only as advertising, so that rich people could buy them. They were mostly silver, with various levels and there was always a commandant that conducted everything from their perch. And the windows were always so large that they could see everything so easily…

They set off immediately and broke in a run when the reactors’ noise increased until they were silent. The craft moved, but didn’t take off. They got to a wide door and they managed to open it enough so that the three of them could look inside. 

It was the same as in those documentaries. Spacious, with uniformed people sitting in low computers, a commander talking with them in various languages. Allen could understand some of them, but others just made him even more confused. But, the best part, was the wide windows from where they could see Moscow in the distance, until the craft moved again and they were facing away from it. 

The commander gave the order to take off after looking around a last time, making sure everything was in order, and the craft trembled, before taking off quickly. The three Exorcists stumbled for a moment, but the craft was quick and it stabilized itself in a matter of seconds. 

They were going really fast and they plunged straight in the clouds and mist, so they could only see white and grey for a few seconds, until they passed them and they found themselves blinking because of the sudden light. Then Allen couldn’t help but gasp. Because there was blue, a beautiful light blue everywhere, above the grey and white and black clouds. And then, the blue faced to a yellow and orange hue and Allen could see even more light… That was the sun that people hadn’t seen in more than a century. 

“It’s unfair, isn’t it?” mumbled Lavi and both Allen and Kanda turned to him, frowning at his far-away look. “That people took the sky for granted. And now, it’s impossible to see the blue sky and sun. We can only see the outline of the moon because it’s really close, after all…”

Allen lowered his head, but looked at the windows again, watching as the colors changed again. Darker, darker, and darker, until they could only see black. He could see the same white dots littering the black, stars, and the orange glow from the sun. And the moon. The moon, the half moon, its destroyed edge spiky and irregular, a light grey and close enough to them so that they could see some of its craters. 

Allen was tempted to stay all the trip there, but his stomach grumbled and he flushed. Yeah, he needed to eat more now. He didn’t even know why. It was probably because of his Innocence. It was still weird, though.

The commander started ordering people around and the craft turned, slowly. Allen hadn’t seen Link, but he was pretty sure he was around there, somewhere. He was the deputy secretary, after all. 

“The landing won’t be as cool, to be honest,” said Lavi, yawning when they got to the sitting room. It was empty again. Kanda had sat in the opposite sofa from Lavi and Allen was making himself breakfast in the kitchen. “We’ll break through the atmosphere again, but this time we’ll be a giant ball of fire, so, there won’t be anything interesting to see.”

Allen grimaced.  A giant ball of fire didn’t sound good. But, well, for what he’d heard, physics didn’t sound too good most of the time.

When he finished his sandwiches, he sat side by side with Lavi and listened to the redhead ramble about how they could have built the craft so that it could withstand so much pressure without folding in on itself and killing them all. Not the best conversation, but Allen was too busy eating to really care. 

They would need to do that a lot of times, right? Going in a craft to travel to the other part of the world… Maybe they would even need to go to Mars. He was grateful for the new spaceships he’d heard about, because, while he liked the scenery, he was sure it would be boring to see that for more than ten months. Uh, would they show them the light-speed spaceship? He wanted to know if that was true.

Then again, the thought that he would be working for the Government hit him and he grimaced slightly. He hid it taking another bite of the third sandwich he’d made before. Yeah, the same Government that didn’t care that a lot of people died everyday because of accidents, hunger and murder. It was awful, but, the more he learned about the hierarchy, the more he thought that he couldn’t do much to change things for those people. It was annoying. He nearly ripped half the sandwich.

The craft trembled and Allen tried very hard to keep himself from imagining themselves as a giant ball of fire, rocketing from the sky, going at a lot of kilometers per hour straight to the ground. It was harder when Lavi kept counting the seconds so that, when they landed, he could calculate how fast they were going. 

“About 30.000 kilometres per hour,” said Lavi when they walked to the entrance.  Allen groaned at his enthusiasm and he could hear Kanda clicking his tongue in exasperation. 

“The Chief Engineer is waiting for you outside the platform,” informed Link, formal, from behind them. He had his hands behind his back and he looked as serious as he could get. “He is the higher authority of these Headquarters, so behave.”

Allen shuffled his feet. That was directed at them, wasn’t it? Did he know about the TV? Oh, he hoped they weren’t going to get in trouble for it, he didn’t want to deal with that just after he’d joined. He wondered what kind of man was the Chief. He’d heard that the Lvellie family had power in the Government, but he didn’t know if they would take responsibility over a base. Or the Epstain family?

The platform shifted and folded silently. There were people mingling about, but they didn’t seem like they were going to go out of the craft. At least, not before them. Link started walking when the platform stopped moving and the three Exorcists followed him, mostly curious. 

“Welcome to the Chicago Headquar- oh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... who do you think that is?  
> Kudos, comments?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	8. A New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly_Reaper, it was close, but it wasn't Lena!  
> So yeah, finally more character tags on this!

Allen could only blink as he locked his eyes on the man in front of them, white military uniform clean, with some scientists at his sides, who were looking at them wide-eyed. 

“Holy shit, Komui?!” shouted Lavi and the redhead nearly stumbled over the platform, if Allen was to guess by the noise. He was too shocked to look away, though.

_ Yes, that’s definitely Komui. _

His hair was a little bit longer, he wore glasses and he looked really different with that uniform on, but that was Komui. The scientists at his sides looked at each other, confused. Yeah, he could relate. What the hell was Komui doing there? Unless…

“You’re… Lavi, right?” said Komui, pointing at Lavi, who was stuttering over his words in his surprise, and then the older man pointed to Kanda and frowned. “And you… Kanda?” Kanda only nodded shortly and Komui turned to Allen. Ah, hell, he’d changed too much, hadn’t he? It was a wonder Lavi had recognized him. Maybe because he was one of those Bookmen? “Do I know you…?”

“I’m... “ Allen gulped down his nervousness. He didn’t even know why he was nervous. He shouldn’t be. That was Komui, the same Komui that he’d guided through Manchester three years before. But… If Komui was there… “I’m Allen, Komui.”

“Yeah, Manchester ring a bell?” butted him Lavi, his cheerful smile wavering slightly. Allen was sure that he’d been the only one to notice. And the only one to notice that Kanda seemed awfully immobile. 

“Wait, Allen?” Komui’s eyes flew open and he stared at him, making Allen shift uncomfortably. Then, the Chinese man frowned, confused. “You’re the new Exorcists?”

“We are,” answered Allen. And yeah, confusing and shocking and weird. Like the entirety of his life.

Komui paused, gazing at them for a moment. Allen searched around for long black hair, even though he knew he wouldn’t find anyone. At least, not for now. 

“Let’s talk inside,” said Komui and pointed to the large building behind him. Allen hadn’t even looked at it before that moment because he’d been too surprised. 

They followed Komui inside the white building. It was large and really tall, contrary to the base they’d been in. It had a lot of windows and in the distance all Allen could see of the top ones was just how they reflected light. Maybe more than 100 floors? When they entered, Allen took note of the wide and long hallways and few pieces of furniture that were around. Komui led them to a glass elevator and they squeezed inside. The three Exorcists looked around, curious, more so when the elevator started going down. 

They passed levels and levels of metallic walkways and stairs, dark hallways and large rooms where numerous scientists and engineers argued with each other over huge crafts and spaceships. Allen wondered multiple times if they were light-speed, but he didn’t have much hope. 

Finally, they got to a normal hallway, only it was levels underground. Komui hurried to go out and he whispered something to a sandy-haired man that was lurking around two wide cream-colored doors. Allen frowned at the man. He’d felt a vague familiarity, but he wasn’t sure that it was something to take note of, because the man had hurried down another hallway and disappeared. He was disappointed, he wanted to know if he recognized the man or if it was another of those strange feelings he got from time to time. 

Komui nearly shoved the three of them in the apparent office, before grinning at Link, saying something to him and closing the doors on his face. He let out a deep sigh as the Exorcists examined the office.

Allen wasn’t as surprised as he should have been when he saw the large stacks of papers on the glass desk. It wasn’t a office per se, as it had parts of machines lying around. It looked like a messy garage. 

“Okay, this was a surprise,” said Komui with a tired smile, turning to them. He walked over to the desk and collapsed on his chair. “If this is a good surprise or not, we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Same here, to be honest,” said Lavi while he looked around the office.

“Is Lenalee here too?” blurted Allen and Komui’s eyes locked on him immediately, but Allen met his gaze without hesitation and the man sighed deeply, tired, and to Allen, he seemed to have aged at least ten years since the last time he’d seen him three years before. 

“She is,” he said simply. All of them looked at Komui with surprise, but… not really. It was as if they already knew she was there too. “That’s what I don’t understand about this.”

“That we’re all here?” said Lavi and Komui nodded, head lowered, defeated. And really, Allen wondered the same. Why them?

“It’s suspicious, I can’t deny that,” mumbled Komui. “But, well, you’re Exorcists. We need to examine your Innocences, by the way, give me a minute.”

Allen grimaced. Komui looked around the papers thrown around his desk. Why did his life not make sense? Specially when it came to them. People he was sure he hadn’t seen in his life suddenly appeared out of thin air and it was as if he’d known them for years, as if they were best friends, or sometimes, as if he’d met them before and knew things about them that he was sure they’ve never told him before. Or things he didn’t even know the meaning of. Like Bookmen. 

“Follow me,” he said and stood up from his seat, a tablet under his arm. The three Exorcists followed him to a door on the other side of the room, metallic and heavy and, when they went through, they had to squint to see in the sudden darkness. “It’s not far.”

As they walked through the metal walkway, Allen could hear their steps and noticed, as soon as his eye had gotten used to the lack of light, that they were walking above the dark void below their feet. He couldn’t see anything under the thick net of steel and his own worn shoes. It was when they started going down a staircase that Allen started wondering where exactly they were going. 

Slowly, he could see light. A clear and blue light that illuminated the tunnel they seemed to be in. He could see every rock, every stalactite, and their shadows seemed almost ominous in the darkness and blue light. He gulped. Where was Komui leading them?

“Hev, I have three new Exorcists for you,” said Komui when they got out of the tunnel and into a large cave. They were standing on a wood platform and they were surrounded by water. Allen looked around and had to squint to see the source of the blue light… Was Komui actually talking to the light?

“ _Three?_ ” asked a feminine voice, but Allen was quite sure it wasn’t human. It didn’t sound human. At all. It echoed, it reverberated in his chest, like those reactors had done before, and his head hurt. God, it hurt, and he didn’t even know why. “ _Why so many? So suddenly?_ ”

“I don’t know, Hev,” sighed Komui and Allen struggled to raise his head. 

When he managed to do so he gasped. Because, in front of him, there was an enormous creature…  Was it a creature? It had the face of a woman, her eyes weren’t visible under a thick coat of feathers and she didn’t have arms, she looked like a snake… His mind scrambled and Allen hissed, rubbing his temples. This was the most violent reaction he’d ever had, what the hell?

“ _I won’t hurt you,_ ” said the echoing voice of the mysterious woman. Allen’s breath hitched when he saw long… tentacles? They were raising from the water, dripping clear water onto the platform. They weren’t scaly, as he’d thought, but they had… feathers? “ _I only want to measure your synchronization rate… make sure you’re fit to fight with the Innocence._ ”

The tentacle went slowly towards Kanda, who backed away quickly, hand reaching out for his sword. But the being was faster and he was grabbed by another one, raised into the air, and both the creature (Hev?) and Komui ignored his curses and his struggles to get out of the grip. 

“ _Your synchro rate is of 89%,_ ” hummed Hev, and lowered Kanda gently on the ground. He was breathing heavily, but he looked unharmed. His hand was on his sword, but he didn’t unsheathe it. It didn’t look like he wanted to anymore. 

“Um, does it hurt?” asked Lavi with a nervous chuckle. Komui smiled at him and shook his head. Kanda clicked his tongue.

“It doesn’t,” he said, and his voice sounded uncertain, confused, but it didn’t seem pained. Allen took a deep breath and stepped back. He needed his head to stop spinning, it was so annoying when it did that… thing, even more when it had been a while since the last time it happened. “It feels weird, though.”

“Hevlaska is an Exorcist too, you know,” said Komui, voice cheerful but tired, and Lavi was the one to take a step forward this time. Allen closed his eye for a moment. They didn’t notice a thing, they didn’t notice how his legs had trembled and how he’d seemed pained, how he’d wavered on his feet because of that strange feeling and…

_ The Cube. _

Lavi shrieked when he was raised in the air and Hevlaska seemed to laugh and her laugh echoed all around the cave. Allen took a hesitant step forward when his head stopped spinning and sending stabs of pains through him. Komui looked thoughtful and, when Hevlaska claimed that Lavi had a synchro rate of 78% and he was lowered to the ground, Allen could hear him mumbling to himself, so he stepped closer, ignoring completely Lavi’s cheerful conversation with a patient Hevlaska as he tried to pick up something from the older man.

“Two Crystal Types and a… What Type is Allen?” mumbled Komui and Allen returned to reality sharply when a feathered tendril reached out for him. It was… similar to his own Innocence.

He let himself be raised and didn’t look down. Instead, he locked his eyes on Hevlaska’s ‘face’. There were more feathers there, but they seemed softer. Hevlaska smiled at him briefly, before touching his forehead with hers, softly, gentle, in a way that sent a warm feeling through him, familiar, like his Innocence, white and green and gold and…

And he couldn’t breath. He didn’t know why, but he was choking, the air couldn’t reach his lungs.

His hand, trembling, shaking violently, raised and he clawed at his shirt, clawed at his chest, until he could clench the shirt in his fist, just above his heart.

Oh, he wasn’t sure it was beating. 

His vision had turned black, even though he was awfully aware of his eye still being open. 

And then butterflies.

Butterflies, dark, purple, striped and with skeletons as their body, cackling, like an out of tune orchestra, echoing in his ears, his chest hurt, so much, so much, he was gasping, but there was no air…

“Allen!” 

Someone was calling him. But was that his full name? Wait, was that even  _ his _ name? Nobody knew, not even himself, because who was he exactly? No one, no one, no one…

“Allen, please!” He was trying, damn it, he was trying so hard to just open his eyes and tell them, that wasn’t… but it was, wasn’t it? Ugh, he wasn’t sure, he wanted to sleep… “Allen! Allen, c’mon, wake up!”

“What is happening to him?” asked a voice and, oh, was Kanda his real name too? Yu? Or was it a name that someone gave him? Oh, was it someone special?

“I don’t know!” shouted another voice, panicked, and yeah, that wasn’t his name, definitely, he’d had… so many, for what he’d said. He’d never said just how many, though. He wanted to know. “Ah, shit, it hurt me?! What the fuck-?!”

“Allen, damn it!” shouted another voice and oh, this one did have a name. Ah, he was jealous. 

His eyelid trembled and he took a shaky breath, a shaky breath that just hurt him more and he groaned, curling on himself. Was he on the floor? What…?

He opened his eye and met white, white feathers and he struggled to get more air on his lungs, his arms trembled and his head was spinning again. He closed his eye for a moment, then opened again and saw shapes. Those shapes became Komui, Lavi and Kanda, and the feathers… they weren’t Hevlaska’s, they were his.

“What…?”  he mumbled and he tried to get his arms to work with him. They shook, but he managed to sit on the cold and hard wood floor and he raised his gloved hand to rub his temples again. 

“Allen, are you okay?” asked a really worried Komui, reaching out for him but stopping before touching him, as if he was afraid that he’d attack him… 

Allen blinked, exhausted, and he looked to Komui and his hand, then frowned and looked at Lavi, who was rubbing at his arm where… oh, he was hurt. He looked back down, at himself, and his frown deepened when he saw his Innocence activated, feathers ruffled and disorganized, as if they’ve been shaken by something. His thoughts were in disarray, he didn’t know what had happened, only that it hurt. Oh, that feather had some drops of blood… 

_ You shouldn’t have done that. _

His Innocence sent a wave of displeasure, something that seemed like an apology and the feathers shifted, rearranging themselves into the familiar cape. It still looked messy to Allen, but well, he couldn’t complain. 

“I… think so…” mumbled Allen when Komui asked him the same question again. He looked back at Hevlaska, saw her watching him with something like worry and interest and she even looked… considering? ”What happened?”

“You started screaming,” said Komui, voice wavering, and Allen was somehow surprised when he noticed just how much the older man cared about them already. 

“It was scary, Allen,” said Lavi, still far away from him, and when he smiled, he lacked the usual convincing shine to his eye. “You started screaming, then your Innocence activated and Hevlaska had to let you go. You didn’t even fall, didn’t even hit the ground, the Innocence shielded you.”

“What the hell was that, Beansprout?” inquired Kanda, his tone less snappish than usual. Allen lowered his gaze, clenching and unclenching his claw. Yeah,  _ what _ was that?

“I don’t know,” he murmured. Komui sighed, the sound sharp in the silence of the cave, and stood up again. 

“Do you know his synchro rate, Hev?” he asked. 

“ _91%,_ ” she said while Allen fought very hard not to pass out. 

“Let’s…” Komui swallowed and looked back at the tunnel. “Let’s just go back to the office.”

Surprisingly, it was Kanda the one who got closer to Allen and offered his hand to help him stand back up. He stumbled, but managed to deactivate his Innocence in a flurry of feathers and gold light. He saw Komui looking at him, worried but with an interested glint to his eyes, before he turned again and started walking through the dark tunnel.

To Allen, it seemed like the walk back to the office took years. He dragged his feet and kept his head lowered. He tried to remember something, other than pain, but he didn’t succeed. It was annoying, he  _ knew _ he’d seen something, knew there was a reason for his pain, but he couldn’t  _ remember _ . It couldn’t be Hevlaska’s fault, she looked shocked and the other two Exorcists had been fine. Just, what the hell happened there?

When Komui opened the door and they got through, the man locked the door with a card he had in his pocket. Allen blinked when his eye met another pair. 

“Lenalee?” called Lavi from behind him, voice cheerful, but Allen could hear that he was still shaken. When he turned his head to him, he saw how the redhead rolled down the sleeve of his jacket to hide the gash there. 

“So it was true…” whispered the girl and she stood up from the sofa. Allen took note of her hair. It was shorter. It came down to near her shoulders. He wondered if she cut it because she wanted to, because they made her, or something happened. She frowned at him and Allen smiled at her. Yeah, she was confused, wasn’t she? She tilted her head to the side. “Allen…?”

“Yeah… we’re Exorcists too…” said Lavi and he scratched his hair, laughing nervously. “Kinda strange, uh?”

Lenalee nodded slowly, her face softening slightly, before finally smiling and closing her eyes. Allen smiled at her too when she looked at Kanda and him, the only ones that didn’t say anything, Allen because he was exhausted and confused and Kanda because… well, he was Kanda. 

“I can show them around, Komui,” she said after a moment of silence and all the Exorcists turned to Komui. Allen was pretty sure that he wasn’t doing his job, he was just procrastinating, because he hid discreetly some blueprints behind his desk and his grin was maybe too wide. 

“Ah, yes, yes, show them,” laughed Komui and Lenalee rolled her eyes, before gesturing for them to follow her. “Ah, yeah, boys, if you do-”

“I’ll see you later, brother,” interrupted Lenalee, shoving them out the door and giving her brother a last smile before closing the door with too much force and rattling the metal doors. She sighed, before turning on them with a big smile again. They just blinked. “Okay, let’s go.”

They got in the elevator again and this time, Allen paid more attention to the machines the staff seemed to handle. They had spaceships, rockets, but they also had monitors and other equipment laying around. The rooms were wide, really wide, with metallic walls and ceilings and floors, and each of the groups of scientists had at least one hologram they were working on, which showed various blueprints in 3D and codes. 

“Uh… How long have you been an Exorcist, Lenalee?” asked Lavi when they passed the third level in silence. Allen shook his head to focus on the present and turned his head away from the glass.

“Not much, to be honest,” answered the girl with a forced smile. She looked uncomfortable, but Allen didn’t know why. He was pretty sure she didn’t even notice herself. “It was a month ago that I activated. We were in a meeting, I was just taking notes, because my brother doesn’t, and… an Akuma attacked us. I activated on instinct when it went for my brother. He had a good position on the Government, so it was no trouble at all to promote him and put him in charge of this section.”

“What’s your Innocence?” blurted Allen before he could stop himself and every eye in the elevator turned to him. He smiled, forced, nervous, before coughing lightly. “I mean, if… you don’t mind.”

Lenalee stared at him for a moment, eyes thoughtful, before shrugging slightly and leaning on the glass wall while they ascended another level. Allen had lost count. He could only think that the base was actually huge. No wonder, Headquarters were usually big. 

Allen looked down when the girl bended her leg and showed them the red ringlet around her ankle. She rolled up her jeans and Allen frowned at the red cross. Then it all clicked when Lavi moved away the thick wristband and Kanda rolled up his sleeves. The three of them had the crosses, an angry red, and the first thing that came to his mind was ‘blood’. 

_ Crystal… _

He sighed softly from his nose and raised his red hand, showing the cross on his hand, which glowed gold for a moment. Lenalee frowned, but her eyes showed that she had connected the dots. 

The elevator paused slowly and they got out and into the long hallway they’ve been in just minutes before, but to Allen, it seemed like an eternity ago. There weren’t a lot of people around, so it was easy to navigate around, following Lenalee as she explained where everything was. 

It was a big base, Allen had to admit. The ground level was mostly the cafeteria and the accesses to the various landing fields. The temporary rooms were on the first floor and, when they took a look at them, Allen wasn’t surprised to see that they were mostly the same as the ones at the crafts. His bag was in what would be his, he noticed. 

“We will be going to the space station…” informed Lenalee while they ate and she looked up, thoughtful. “Tomorrow. Or maybe the next day. I’m not too sure.”

“What for?” asked Allen. He had finished his food and managed to pile the plates by his side after using his hand to locate the distance between them. The cafeteria was nearly empty, save from some scientists that were arguing over a machine that was making a weird noise while they ate, shouting and swearing in various languages. 

“Most of the Exorcists are there,” answered Lenalee. “We’ll meet some of them. And I think they need to teach us how to control spaceships and machines and… a lot of things that I don’t really remember right now.”

“Wait, wait,” yelped Lavi and his plate almost fell on the floor. Allen glared at him, because c’mon, you can’t waste food of all things. “We’ll pilot  _ spaceships _ ?!”

“The pilots will do it most of the time, or so I’ve heard,” said Lenalee, but she grimaced. “But, well, anything could happen, right?”

Allen lowered his head, frowning. They were in a war now, in the front line, anything could happen. They could die tomorrow. People were bond to die around them. It was not a thought that Allen wanted to have, but it was the truth. Would they have to fight soon? Would they die soon? Would his “friends” die soon, because he was powerless to stop it?

“Did you say anything about… about us? To the other people here?” asked Allen, looking at Lenalee with an arched eyebrow and tired eye. Lenalee looked confused for a moment, but then she shook her head.

“No, only Komui knows about it,” she said in a low voice. “And that was because he was there. Did any of you find something about it?”

“I tried to ask gramps,” said Lavi and he huffed. “But he didn’t say anything.”

“I found nothing,” grumbled Kanda, a displeased frown on his face. He was glaring at his empty plate. “I could have asked Tiedoll, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have been of any help.”

“I didn’t even ask my guardian, either,” admitted Allen and he shrugged. Cross was an enigma of itself, he was quite certain that the womanizing redhead could have known something, but really, there was no guarantee that he would have told him. The man collected secrets like some people collected trash to sell. 

“Are we going to say something?” asked Kanda. All of them hesitated, but then they shook their heads. Kanda lowered his head, crossed his arms and closed his eyes. “Thought so.”

“Who knows what would happen?” mumbled Lenalee and she shivered. 

Allen was tempted to do the same. It was common knowledge that the Government was starting to became desperate and human experiments weren’t rare. He hoped that they would not see anything. He was sure his determination that was still holding up would crumble like so many buildings did dayly. 

He was surprised it lasted this long, to be honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're not Criticals anymore and Allen has a reaction to Hev, everything goes perfectly well.  
> Kudos? Comments?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	9. Past Bonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving on, moving on... Friendly_Reaper, no, there were no Great Generals, basically because we don't know anything about them and it's like another world, so yeah, no Great Generals. There will be Generals though.  
> So, I gotta say that I just got to one of the best parts of the fic (because I'm writing ahead just in case) and it's really fun! We still have *looks at wip* more than 10 chapters to go until then, but we'll get there after some... things.

Allen was sure he had dreamed of something that night.

The problem was that he didn’t remember what exactly he’d dreamed. 

He only remembered a tower, a really tall tower, with a forest around it. It reminded him of the photos he’d seen of what the Leaning Tower of Pisa looked like more than a century ago. There were creatures flying around, and he felt tired. But that was it. That was all he could remember from the strange dream. 

He showered thoughtfully when he woke up, trying to think of other things to distract himself from the confusing things that were so common in his life. He wondered for the hundredth time when he would be able to take off the plasters off his face. The left side of his face was always clammy when he took them off and he had to wash off the few specks of blood off his cheek. At least the cut was healing. 

He managed to find the cafeteria and had a hard time choosing from the various plates. He decided to let his hand decide and managed to not plunge his hand right into the food when grabbing the plates and mug of milk. 

“You’re Allen, right?” asked the same sandy-haired man that he’d seen the day before in front of Komui’s office. He nodded, curious, because he wasn’t sure if he needed to do something or go somewhere. The familiar air around the man put him at ease, something rare for him to experience. But, well, the last few days had been confusing, it was easier to move forward when he was on a row. The man smiled. “My name is Reever. We need to send your measurements for your uniform, so, please, follow me.”

Allen followed the man to the same elevator from the day before and wondered for a moment how they got around if they only had one elevator. And really, it wasn’t even that big. They went down to the second level underground, where the walls reflected the greenish blue of the monitors and holograms. There weren’t any spaceships, as far as Allen could see, but there were a lot of machines and papers and blueprints thrown around the tables. 

Allen arched an eyebrow when they got to one of the work tables. Kanda was there, grumpy and leaning on the table with his arms crossed, before he huffed and turned around, nearly knocking on Allen. 

“Careful, Jerkanda,” said Allen with a smirk. Kanda only glared at him, before stomping away to the elevator, dragging the annoyed aura with him. 

“That was quite the temper he got there,” laughed a large man from the table. He was writing something on the paper, but Allen wondered if he could see something, because he was wearing a big beanie that nearly hid his eyes. 

“Are you another one of the new Exorcists?” asked a woman from his side with a confident smile. Allen nodded, alongside with Reever. Uh, were they siblings? They had the same dark tone of their skin, the same large built, same grin. “Good, my name is Cash Dopp. That’s my brother Tap.”

“I’m Allen,” he said simply. He didn’t have a surname, but he did remember the Akuma asking him if he was ‘Allen Walker’. That was still weird, but he liked that surname. The guy who was called that was lucky. 

“We’ll be measuring you,” said the man. He finally raised his head and Allen felt a stab of pain in his heart. He almost grimaced. He had to fight to keep his soft smile in place. These were his comrades, he couldn’t be mean to them. Kanda was another issue. But, why did it hurt to see him? It wasn’t even pain, it was just… “You can leave him in our hands, Reever.”

“Alright,” said the other man and turned around to leave, calling behind him a last “don’t slack off”.

Allen stood there for a moment, uncomfortable and hesitant in the sudden silence between them, his mind still reeling and confusing itself more and more by the second, until the woman chuckled and took hold of his arm, his Innocence arm, and led him closer to them. 

The woman measured him with a translucent tape measure and told the numbers to her brother, who wrote them down on the piece of paper under his name. He felt somewhat uncomfortable and weird, he’d never been fussed over before. Not once in his life. So, to suddenly have people touching him, carefully, trying not to touch his injuries, was… weird, yeah, he couldn’t think of anything else to describe it. 

“Okay, do you need something in your uniform?” asked Tap as Cash rolled up the tape measure. Allen frowned, thoughtful. He was tempted to ask for a hood, but, well, it would become a hindrance in the end, wouldn’t it? 

“I just need it to be easy to move on,” he said finally. He had been thinking on still using his acrobatics to dodge and even to attack, so he needed to move freely. The man hummed.

“Something on the short side, then?” he asked and Allen nodded immediately. Tap wrote it down. “Are you a close range fighter?”

“I guess,” answered Allen. He was, right? He fought with a claw, that was as close as one could get. Tap wrote that too and Allen tilted his head to the side. “Will you two be doing the uniforms?”

“Oh, no,” laughed the woman. “We’ll send these measurements to a friend of ours. He’s at the space station you’ll go to tomorrow. He’ll have your uniforms by then.”

“Ah, I see,” mumbled Allen, gazing over the chaotic notes of the man. 

So, they were going to the space station the next day. He was curious to see how it was, what kind of people the Exorcists were. He already had his companions, friends he guessed they were, it was still a weird concept to him. Or maybe not that odd. They seemed familiar to him, after all. 

“Okay, that’s all,” said the man with a wide grin. “We still need the measurements of another new Exorcist, I think.”

Allen thought back to Lavi’s still closed door and he chuckled. Yeah, right, the redhead was still sleeping, probably. Really, he wondered how he could sleep that much. He’d seen the redhead even take naps around the day before. 

“I think you’ll have to wait longer,” said Allen and the man just laughed. 

He didn’t know what to do exactly, so he wandered around. He managed to sneak in the huge spaces he’d seen, where the scientists and engineers fussed over spaceships and advanced technology. He could only stare wide eyed at some of the designs and engines. Some of them were nearly the same size as some buildings he’d seen in some towns. 

He didn’t see anyone he recognized until lunch, when he managed to find his way to the elevator and, finally, to the cafeteria, where he saw Lenalee and Kanda eating at one of the farthest tables. Lenalee was the only one talking, it seemed, and Allen made a beeline towards them after he’d gotten his food. 

“Ah, Allen, have you seen Lavi?” asked Lenalee as soon as he sat down with them. Kanda rolled his eyes and continued eating. Soba. Again. Hadn’t he eaten soba the day before too? 

“Don’t worry,” said Allen, smiling to ease the worry in her eyes. She still seemed unconvinced. “I’m sure he’d just slept in. Maybe he’s having his measurements taken.”

“Maybe,” she relented at last, but she still gazed over to the doors from time to time. 

Lavi turned up later, when they had already finished up eating and had decided to lie around in Allen’s room. He carried some bags of chips with him, so Allen was quick to leave his bed and go straight to him.

“Ah, Allen, I knew you cared about poor ol’ me,” exclaimed the redhead, spreading his arms wide, but Allen just snorted, grabbed the snacks from his hands and turned around to go back to the bed. He felt kind of proud when he heard Kanda’s wheezee from his desk. He looked at Lavi from the bed with a grin. “Oh, I see how it is. Okay. I’m just. Ya know. Gonna lie down here.”

Lenalee and Allen started laughing when the redhead laid down on the floor, slowly, dramatically, making pained sounds and sobbing. 

“C’mon, do you want these?” asked Allen and, hey, it was a once in a lifetime chance, because Allen rarely shared food with someone. Nearly never. Or, maybe just never. 

Lavi was fast to get up and lunge at the bed, making Allen and Lenalee screech at him when the mattress almost slipped from the surface of the furniture and almost knocked the lamp from the bedside table. 

They spent the rest of the day watching comedy shows on Lenalee’s new tablet and eating snacks on Allen’s bed. Even Kanda joined them, which was something that surprised both Lavi and Allen, but made Lenalee smile widely. Kanda still stayed mostly in the corner of the bed, without touching anyone, but well, it was progress, right? 

Allen was feeling strangely happy when he saw the others off that night, his smile was soft and he could feel it was genuine, which was still weird for him. He changed into the loose clothing he used as pyjamas and got into bed with his smile still intact. Who knew, maybe he could sleep well for once. 

He didn’t.

He dreamed of fire, high, angry, furious, a fiery red that reminded him of blood and the rubies that the rich people he disliked so much used as jewelry. He dreamed of screams, of pain, of despair, of steel broken and bent and a voice calling for him. In his dream, his whole body hurt horribly, his throat was tight, it was difficult to breath, his eyes were blurry, his cheeks wet, had he been crying?

He woke up calmly, eye locked on the ceiling and the faint images of his dream or nightmare nearly forgotten, as if they were water slipping through his fingers. 

He went down for breakfast, sleepy, and he smiled when he saw Lavi, Lenalee and Kanda by one table in the cafeteria. He was mildly surprised when he saw Komui making a beeline for them just after they’d finished eating, a calm expression on his face. 

“We will board the spaceship in an hour,” he said simply.

“How much until we reach the station?” asked Lenalee, and Allen tried not to tip over his glass of water when he reached out for it. Komui paused for a moment, thoughtful.

“Maybe half a day,” he said and Allen blinked. 

Most trains were sound-speed, the crafts were the faster way of transportation, just after the spaceships, so to hear that they’d need half a day to reach their destination was surprising. Or, well, it shouldn’t be, as they were going to travel through space and really, it wasn’t a short way. 

“Where is the station?” he blurted and Lavi looked at him with a grin. Apparently, he wanted to ask the same thing. 

“Somewhere between Earth and Mars,” answered Komui with a broad grin. Allen wondered if that was Komui’s first travel through space as well, because he looked delighted and excited, almost like a little rich kid. 

“Will we go to Mars sometime?” asked Lavi, his green eye glinting. Allen grimaced slightly. 

“Maybe,” said Komui, before turning around when they called his name from the door. He looked at them a last time. “One hour. South landing field, the one that is higher up.”

And with that, he turned to walk away from them and started discussing matters with the woman at the door, arguing over something on a tablet. 

Mars. He didn’t know a lot about Mars, the red planet, but he did know that only the most important and rich people went there. He knew that some of them even lived there and that a lot of meetings happened there, if only to avoid the protests at the towns or, sometimes, even the cities. The atmosphere was still unstable, so they built glass passages around some area of Mars and built buildings there. He didn’t know which kind, or for what purpose, and he didn’t know if he wanted to know what was going on nearly 300.000 kilometres away.

The hour passed slowly for him, and he was sure that it was just as slow for the others as well, so they set off to the landing field nearly half an hour earlier. It was on top a hill, connected to the base with some steel stairs. Allen was surprised at how feeling the wind ruffling his hair helped him clear his head, helped him take a moment to breath and he was grateful that the air in Chicago was clear enough to breath without a mask. He could pretend that he was living his normal life, if only for a moment. 

Then they reached the landing field, which was bustling with people, and all four of them stood there, gaping at the wide spaceship that would launch them through the atmosphere. It had some rockets strapped to its side, a long walkway connected to its top, and Allen could see some engineers arguing about the rockets and how fast they could release the spaceship, gesturing madly over them. 

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” said Lenalee, still staring at the rocket. “Days ago we were normal humans, we just wanted peace and to survive and now…”

“Kinda scary, right?” continued Lavi, with a forced smile that didn’t reach his eye. 

They all nodded, even Kanda, whose eyes took on a hard expression. Allen had to pause at that. Why was he so determined? Then he remembered how they met three years ago, how he’d searched all around for his friend, and he wondered if he was still searching, if he hadn’t given up hope. He wondered what made him be so attached to his friend.

“Ah, there you are,” exclaimed Komui’s voice from behind them and they turned. He was grinning widely and seemed like he wanted to jump up and down in his excitement. “We’ll board it in no time.”

He ran off to argue with the engineers and the four Exorcists stood there, by the side of the stairs, nervous and silent, watching as preparations were made efficiently on the rockets. Allen started scratching at his face’s plasters, until one end came off and he switched to fidget with his sleeve. 

It was Tap who led them to one of the entrances to the elevator that would take them to the red walkway that they would use to board the spaceship. Allen could see Lavi looking over every detail with a careful eye, frowning, Lenalee was running her hands through her short hair more times than usual because of her nervousness and Kanda gripped his sword’s hilt so tightly that his knuckles were white. 

“Good luck, then, Exorcists,” said Tap, before turning around and shouting something to someone that Allen couldn’t see. 

“Okay, okay, follow me,” said Komui and he appeared from around the corner, the same excited grin not fading from his face even once. 

The spaceship wasn’t as wide as the craft, there were a lot of levels and stairs and very few windows. Komui led them to a spacious room, which Allen noticed was the control room when he saw all the computers around and the wide and tall window on the other side of the room. He caught yellow out of the corner of his eye and he turned around quickly, just in time to see Link talking with one of the engineers with a serious expression and tablet on his hand. 

Komui left them in an area away from the main computers, where they could sit on some sofas and have some monitors for themselves. Allen didn’t know what to use them for, so he just laid back on the backrest and looked at the windows. They were really tall and curved, so they took half of what would be the ceiling. It was curved too, so he supposed they were at the tip of the spaceship. 

The rockets started some minutes later. Allen wasn’t at all surprised when the noise they made did not fade to silence after some time. Instead, they just got louder, and Komui shouted something in… Russian, maybe, to one of the pilots. The spaceship shook and the Exorcists scrambled to take hold of something to avoid being pushed back to the floor.

It was similar to how they had gone through with the craft, but faster, harder, and Allen felt somewhat sick after a while of being pushed back against his seat when they didn’t stop going after they’d reached the black void specked with white of the space. It happened the opposite, the rocket shook again, the engines turned even louder and Allen had to close his eye to fight back the nausea that attacked him.

“We have enough altitude. Detach auxiliary rockets. Start ionic rockets in ten minutes,” commanded Komui from a distance.

Allen took a deep breath before opening his eye, fighting down the urge to make a run for the nearest bathroom and empty his stomach. He really hoped he would be able to get used to the pressure and sickness that came from blasting off from the Earth. They were in space, of course, and Komui was talking with one of the pilots, relaxed, his eyes moving from time to time to the window that showed an endless void of black specked with white. 

The Exorcists jumped, startled, as the floor moved and changed position. They were now facing the tip of the rocket, parallel to what were the walls before. Komui raised his hand, gave a firm command, and the spaceship shook again. Allen found himself pressed against the sofa again, but he didn’t feel as nauseous as when they had broken through the atmosphere. 

“Everyone alright?” asked Komui after a few minutes, looking at them with a smile. They all nodded, silent, and the man laughed. “You can walk around now, it won’t shake again. At least, it shouldn’t.”

Allen was tempted to go to the bathroom, if only to drink some water and try to fight the sickness. It wasn’t that bad anymore, but he didn’t want to risk it. He stood up slowly, smiling at Lenalee and Lavi, who had been looking at the hologram, trying to find something interesting in the system, when they looked at him worriedly. 

He wasn’t sure where the bathroom was, but he managed to find one at the end of a hallway. It was simple and that was enough for him to go straight to the sink and splash some water on his face. He was careful with the plasters on his cheek and he struggled shortly when trying to reach for the faucet. He was mostly used to the lack of depth perception, but he still struggled sometimes. 

He didn’t know how much he stayed there, trying to will his headache away, but he hoped it hadn’t been too long. He found his way back to the control room after some minutes of wandering around the spaceship. He didn’t see too many people around, it was nearly empty like the craft. He was a bit nervous. Could they be attacked in space too? Probably. He really hoped they weren’t attacked, he still couldn’t control his Innocence too well and it tired him out too much, he couldn’t keep it activated for too long without collapsing. 

He ran into Link and another woman in his way back to the sofa where he could see Lavi and Lenalee playing at some kind of game while Kanda rested against the sofa with his arms crossed and eyes closed. The woman wore a uniform, white, similar to Komui’s, but she moved with an assertiveness that the engineer lacked. A higher up?

He nodded to them while he paused, somewhat nervous, but there was a spark inside him that made him move forward and not pause, even as the woman’s eyes locked on him, cold, calculating, her slicked back blond hair giving her eyes a sharpness that Allen was tempted to meet with his own. He shook slightly his head and walked away from them. It wasn’t the moment to pick a fight, he needed to get off to a good start. 

Link’s eyes followed him, but then he returned to the woman and both of them looked away from him at last. Allen sighed. That had been tense. Really tense. Had he seen that woman on TV? If she really was a higher up, he should know her. But he didn’t, so maybe she worked behind the scenes. It wouldn’t be surprising.

He finally sat on the sofa just as the first round they were playing ended and Lavi held out a controller for him. Allen took it and the next round started. It was fun, but he could still feel the cold gaze of that woman on him, and he wanted to turn around and glare at her, to stop her from getting under his skin, but he tried to ignore it, tried to block her out and concentrate on the game. He was sure the other three had noticed it too. 

They arrived at the space station some hours later and they paused the game, curious. They had eaten some snacks, but they were still hungry, because the spaceship didn’t have that much food, so they were impatient to get off and find some decent food. 

The space station was larger than what he’d expected, it was like a base. Large, metallic, a silvery color with dark panels on its sides and yellow numbers on the platforms they were going to land on. He could see windows, narrow and long, and a glass dome just in the middle of the structure. It was amazing and so very expensive. Allen cringed. 

Komui was back up commanding the landing, because it was difficult to steer the huge spaceship into the platform they were supposed to go in. The Exorcists sat on the edge of their seat, looking at the walls on either side of the spaceship with concern. They were so close, a miscalculation could mean a chafing on the spaceship and who knew what could happen then. 

The spaceship shook when it landed properly on the platform and the Exorcist sighed, relieved. They knew that the staff knew what they were doing, but it didn’t make it less difficult. Allen hoped they would get used to all that, because he wasn’t sure that he would like space travel too much if it meant sickness and nerves. The scenery was breathtaking, but he didn’t want to feel sick just before having to fight. 

“This is really cool guys!” exclaimed Lavi. He had ran down the platform that connected the spaceship to the base and he was looking around, eye grinting. Allen chuckled. “It’s like what the people of the past did in the sci-fi movies.”

Allen hadn’t watched a lot of them, but he knew some and he’d seen some designs for them, so he couldn’t help but to agree with the redhead. Lenalee nodded from where she was looking out of the narrow windows that stretched out on one side of the hallway they were in. The staff was walking around them, talking and, some of them, heaving large boxes into another hallway. Kanda huffed, but Allen could see that he was impressed. 

“Okay, you should eat something,” said Komui and Allen whipped his head to him at the mention of food. His stomach grumbled. The man pointed down one hallway. “I recall the cafeteria is that way. You shouldn’t have any trouble, because people have already eaten.”

“I wonder if we’ll meet any Exorcists,” said Lenalee, excitedly, while they started walking down the hallway. Kanda huffed.

“Be careful Lenalee!” shouted Komui from where they had parted, waving in the air, wide smile on his face. Allen tilted his head to look at Lenalee’s face and chuckled when he saw her resigned expression.

They somehow managed not to get lost, which was an accomplishment, as Lavi was walking around (nearly running), trying to see everything, every detail, as they passed by rooms and more hallways. The cafeteria was mostly the same as in Chicago, but it was empty, with only some people at one table, arguing over some tablet. 

Allen plopped down on the table they had chosen and started gulping down food immediately. He was starving. He was grateful that most of his sickness had gone away and only the nerves and uneasiness about being in a new place remained. He was curious, at least, about meeting other Exorcists. It wasn’t that bad, he thought, meeting new people, not when he already had a group of “friends” he could, maybe, uh, rely on? Weren’t friends supposed to be like that? People he could rely on? He was still hesitant, though, he hadn’t had friends before. It was weird, but, as time passed, he started to believe that it was a good kind of weird. 

“I want to explore this station, guys,” exclaimed Lavi when they finished eating, standing up immediately. Kanda was the one that grabbed his sleeve and pushed him down on his chair, muttering about ‘stupid rabbit’s. 

“Don’t you want to find Bookman?” asked Allen, arching the only eyebrow he had visible, which, now that he thought about it, could be somewhat confusing for others. Yeah, Lavi had the same problem. 

“He’ll only push more work on me,” whined the redhead. Allen was tempted to laugh. “Let me live!”

“Don’t you want to search for Marie?” asked Lenalee then, looking at Kanda. The asian man shuffled uncomfortable, then sighed. Allen frowned. Marie? Ah, wasn’t he that dark-skinned man that was with him when they met three years before?

Wait a minute, he hadn't introduced himself. How could he be so sure that it was the same man? 

“I’ll find him sooner or later,” mumbled Kanda at last and Lenalee just shrugged. 

“Okay, but really, don’t you guys want to look around?” asked Lavi after some seconds of silence. Kanda growled, exasperated, rolling his eyes. “Hey, hey, who knows, we might be too busy later. C’mon…”

“Fine,” shrugged Allen and he had to raise his hands to cover his ears when Lavi shouted and raised his hands in the air. The group of people in the corner looked at them strangely, almost glaring at them, before returning to their tablet and starting arguing again. 

“Let’s go!” screamed Lavi and they stood up quickly, before the redhead got too impatient and ran off without them. Kanda glared at him, but Lavi didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he didn’t care. Yeah, it was probably the later. 

When they got to the door, they paused. Allen tilted his head. There was someone in the hallway, talking with another one. It was a man, young, short black hair, maybe asian, wearing a simple sweatshirt and jeans, Exorcist?

But, before he could ask, before any of them could ask, Kanda of all people was the one who took the first step, a stomp, actually, that rattled the cafeteria door and made the other person look at them with surprise in his dark eyes. The same eyes that widened when they saw Kanda. Allen felt a shiver run through him. 

“Alma Karma…” growled Kanda, and his eyes had so much fury, so much pain, so many emotions mixed into them, that Allen froze for a moment. And that was all it took for hell to break loose. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chap in which I nerd over everything related to space and hehe Alma is here. What will Kanda do?  
> Comments? Kudos?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	10. Duet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Infinity War ruined my life and so, I forgot I had to update this... sorry *rueful smile*  
> Alma is here! And like in all my fics, non-binary Alma is a thing! I should probably do a one-shot or something with Kanda and Alma's story in this AU because they don't say anything about it, but eh *shrugs* someday.

Kanda was too quick for them to react and, in no time, the man was lunging for the other, who scrambled to dodge but was unable to do so, so they both collided and Kanda slammed him against the wall, snarling and with his arms trembling. 

“Kanda, what are you doing?” shouted Lenalee, shocked, and Allen had to shake his head to focus. 

He lunged for them too, but he grabbed Kanda by his shoulders, growling at him to let go of the other, pushing him, trying to get him to just move away. Lavi was fast to understand and he lifted Kanda from his torso. Allen took advantage of the fact that the man was somehow shocked by this to peel off his hands from the other’s sweatshirt and Lavi immediately dragged Kanda back. 

“What the hell, man?” yelped Lavi, arms steady even as Kanda struggled against him. “Calm down, Yuu, damn it!”

Allen stared at Kanda as he started to slow down, furious eyes still locked on the other. Alma Karma. When had he heard that name before? 

A image, of a man, long tail, violet halo over his head and pained and desperate and enraged eyes with tears streaming down his face appeared on his mind, but he shook his head violently, even as the one in the present looked at him with worry. Ah, did he have a pained expression on his face? It was becoming a common occurrence. Then it hit him. Alma Karma. The friend that Kanda had been searching for. So that means…

_ “But I know that he’s working for someone. And, let me tell you, when you start working for  _ them _ … You can’t escape.” _

Them, them, he was talking about the Government. But how...? Why did he know about that? Why…?

“Why the fuck are you here?!” yelled Kanda and Allen found himself in the present again, head pounding and Alma’s hand on his shoulder. “All these years, looking for you, and you were fucking here! I thought you were dead!”

“Do you think I like being here?!” snapped Alma and he nearly threw Allen to the floor when he stumbled closer to Kanda. Allen reached out for him, but there was no need, because Alma stayed out of reach from Kanda. His voice was wavering. “Do you think I would abandon you so easily, without saying anything?! After all we had been through?!”

There was silence between them, uncomfortable, tense, where the only sound was Alma’s soft sobs and Kanda’s heavy breathing. The other person had ran away, apparently, because Allen couldn’t find her. 

“Maybe…” mumbled Lenalee and everyone looked at her. She lowered her head. “Maybe we should leave you two alone, to sort things out…”

There was another pause between them, where no one moved, until Lavi sighed softly and, after making sure that Kanda wouldn’t be violent again, released him and took a step back. Allen took some steps to one side of the hallway, he didn’t even know where it led, he just wanted to go and let the two asian men sort things out between them. It was probable that they’d need to work together and really, they shouldn’t throw their friendship away just because the people at the Government were shit. 

He met Lenalee’s gaze and nodded slightly to the hallway. Lavi was already moving cautiously towards the same direction and Lenalee looked at the two friends with a worried gaze, before sighing softly and power-walking out of there. Lavi and Allen looked at each other, before walking with her and leaving Kanda and Alma alone in the cafeteria’s door. 

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” asked Lenalee when they rounded a corner. Allen sighed.

“Probably,” he said, but didn’t elaborate because, ultimately, it was their business. 

They did explore part of the base, trying to distract themselves, so they managed to find the area where their rooms were supposed to be, if they had to guess by the sign at the start of the hallway. They found some conference rooms and some labs, which were bustling with people running around with steel parts and numerous circuits. 

“Ah, where is Kanda?” asked a voice and the three of them turned around quickly, all of them nearly activating their Innocence. And they’d have done so, if Komui didn’t laugh nervously under their sharp gazes. 

“Eh, he met someone he knew. From his past,” said Allen simply and he saw how Komui arched an eyebrow, before shrugging. 

“I want to introduce you to some Exorcists,” said Komui, excited, and he turned around at once, expecting them to follow him.

Allen looked, hesitant, to the other two, and Lenalee was the one that started walking first, following her brother with a curious glint in her eyes. Lavi was more closed off, but followed as well, and Allen tried not to fidget too much. He was nervous, he was going to meet his teammates. Maybe. He didn’t know how missions worked. 

Komui led them to what looked like a living room, wide and spacious, with various sofas in various levels. They had to climb down some stairs to get to the sofa the Chief was searching for and Allen looked at the people sitting there curiously. 

They were older than him, but they weren’t too old either. The woman had curly chestnut hair, tied back with a red clip, and she had bags under her eyes. Her brown eyes locked on them, more nervous than any of them, and her fingers were fidgeting with the sleeves of her blouse. The man had dark hair and pale skin, blue eyes and a calm expression on his face, but Allen could see that his shoulders were tense, even more so when he took note of them. He frowned at them and Allen was tempted to do the same, but he waited for Komui to say something. 

“These are Miranda Lotto,” he said, gesturing to the woman, who tried to smile at them, but it was forced, nervous. Then he gestured to the man. “And Suman Dark. Miranda is more or less new, like you, but Suman has been in duty for a few years.” Komui gestured to them. “These are Lenalee Lee, Lavi and Allen.”

“Aren’t they too young for this?” asked the man and Miranda looked him with some surprise. Allen just frowned at him openly. Was he underestimating them? It was as if he was saying that they would die in less than a day and he wasn’t even going to care. Rude. 

“They have been chosen,” shrugged Komui, but Allen could see the uneasiness on his gaze. Suman opened his mouth, but Komui was faster. “And their synchro rate is pretty high. They should be okay.”

Suman closed his mouth with a grimace, not looking at them. Okay, well. Allen pretended that the strange guilt and sadness that had appeared was connected to… he didn’t know, he ignored it for the moment. He focused on Miranda, who had lowered her head. She gave the same feeling as the others, the same familiar feeling, maybe more subdued, but it was there. He tilted his head. 

“Do you mind if we sit with you?” he asked and, when the woman raised her head to look at him with panicked eyes, and the others looked at him with surprise, he managed to smile at her. “We’re gonna be teammates, right? We should get to know each other.”

She nodded, slowly, and she shuffled to the side. Allen looked at the other two, eyebrows raised, before sitting down side by side with the woman. He ignored the man’s gaze and his smile softened when his two friends moved to sit with him too. Komui grinned too.

“Okay, I’ll leave you be,” he said. “Your uniforms should be ready tomorrow, and we’ll explain everything that you need to know. For now, you should rest and get to know the people here. You’ll be working together for a while.”

A while. Yeah, right. 

Allen watched as Komui left the room, greeting some of the people sitting around, before looking to the woman again. He startled when Suman stood up, a frown evident on his face, before he stomped away from them. 

Miranda was a pleasant enough person, when you got past her nervousness and anxiety. She was from what was Germany before The Disaster, but she had travelled around, searching for jobs, because she was clumsy and they fired her from a lot of places. Until she worked at a clock shop, and that was when she found out she was an Exorcist. 

Allen could feel a sort of protectiveness for her, which was weird, but, at the same time, not really, because he could feel that too with his three friends. He didn’t know why, though, he knew he was reckless when someone was in danger, but he wasn’t protective. Maybe. 

They managed to drag her with them for dinner and they chatted with her about various things, trying to make her as comfortable as they could. She still seemed nervous, but she was warming up to them. At least Allen wanted to think so. They did see Suman around the cafeteria, but they didn’t bother to ask him to join them. He didn’t look as if he wanted to, he looked at them with something like an annoyed gaze, and Allen was tempted to just turn to him and ask him coldly what was his problem, even more so when he saw how Miranda looked at him with unease. 

It was some time later, when they had nearly finished eating, that Kanda came walking to their table. He was not alone. 

Allen tilted his head to look at the other man walking behind him, as Kanda was hiding him from his good eye. He blinked, worried, but smiled when he saw the calm gaze of both of them and how the other, Alma, was smiling. Kanda even looked at peace. 

“Hi, you’re Yuu’s friends, right?” asked Alma when they were close enough. Kanda huffed, but didn’t comment as he sat on an empty seat with his… soba. Yeah, that was definitely soba. Again. 

“I suppose,” said Lenalee with a friendly smile. Alma’s smile stretched and his dark eyes seemed to glint with excitement. 

“My name’s Alma, Alma Karma. They/them pronouns.” Allen blinked, but then shrugged. 

“I’m Lavi,” said Lavi with a wide grin. Allen noticed how his eye moved to Kanda and almost felt sorry for him. He was going to be teased by the redhead in no time about what happened. “This is Lenalee, and that’s Allen.”

“Ah, Miranda, this is great! You joined them!” said Alma when they saw the woman at the table. Allen smiled at her again to calm her down. Her shoulders had come up and her breathing was becoming too fast. He didn’t know why, but his smile (and sometimes Lenalee’s) seemed to calm her down. “Can I join too?”

“Of course, of course,” said Lavi before any of them could say anything, which they weren’t going to do. Alma’s smile widened even more and sat on Allen’s side. Lavi leaned forward and Allen almost reached out for him, to stop him from saying a stupidity, but he sighed and let it happen. “Really, it’s an honor talking to you. You’re Yuu’s friend! How did you even manage that? Tell us your secret!”

“Ah, there’s not really much to tell,” laughed Alma and Lavi made an indignant noise. Alma chuckled and then blinked. “Ah, you’re all new Exorcists, right? What is your Innocence?”

“I’m a Crystal and Green Type,” said Lenalee and moved slightly. Alma tilted to the side so they could see Lenalee’s ringlets on her ankles. 

“I’m a Crystal, too, and Red Type,” said Lavi with a wide grin and showed his tiny hammer. Allen gulped down the last of his food and smiled, showing his red hand.

“I’m a Parasitic and Gold Type,” he said and Alma gaped at him. He chuckled nervously. He knew it was rare, but really, was it  _ that _ rare? 

_ I’m weird all around. _

“Ah, yeah, right,” said Alma, looking at the ceiling as if they’d remembered something. They smiled at their confused expressions. “You’ll probably have some tests tomorrow. Like, how your Innocence works and how you fight with it.”

“We haven’t seen Lenalee’s activated,” pondered Lavi and looked pointedly at the girl, who smiled ruefully and shrugged. 

“If it helps, I haven’t seen yours either,” she said and then paused. She turned to Alma. “What’s your Innocence?”

“Ah, it’s a double-bladed spear,” said Alma and then their smile became nervous. “It’s… being repaired at the moment. It’s an Equipment and Blue Type.”

They started talking about how many places they’ve visited and Allen was surprised at how open Alma was with them. That time when they had seen them talking with that uniformed woman they were serious, dark eyes guarded and almost angry, but with them, Alma was nothing but a friendly and cheerful person. 

However, as the minutes passed by, Allen started to pick up some things from Kanda’s friend. Every time some worker walked close to them, Alma’s shoulders tensed, their smiles were almost forced and their eyes locked on them, guarded, apprehensive. 

He knew that the Government wasn’t the best, he knew that perfectly well, but he always thought that the Exorcists were treated really well, almost spoiled sometimes. It seemed like that was not the case. Not Kanda, nor Alma said anything about how they got separated, and really, Allen could guess how that happened. He was becoming even more suspicious of the Government’s methods, which didn’t surprise him, considering how mistrustful he was to start with. It didn’t really help him to get off to a good start. 

“Okay, these should be your new rooms,” said Alma when they got to the hallway where their rooms were supposed to be. It was long and wasn’t really different from the other hallways, as they’d seen before. “At least, for now. We’re always moving. We’ll probably return to Earth, maybe, in one month. They need to instruct you, after all.”

“Oh, to pilot spaceships, right?” asked Lavi with a wide grin and Alma grinned back.

“Yeah, one of the few good things that come from this,” they said and turned around to go to another hallway full of rooms. They grinned back at them and waved. “Sweet dreams!”

Allen almost scoffed at that, but managed to keep it to himself, as they all moved to their rooms. They were lucky and they found their rooms quickly, as their belongings were on the bed. 

Allen collapsed on the bed, arms stretched and good eye locked on the white ceiling. The window of his new room was really big and tall, so he could see the black void specked with white of the space, and maybe some planet in the horizon… ah, was that Mars? 

He stood back up with a tired grunt, but walked to the window and pressed his forehead to the reinforced glass. Yeah, that was definitely the red planet. It was far, but he could see its round shape, red, and two tiny specks that he mistook for stars for a moment until he remembered that they were probably Phobos and Deimos, Mars’ two satellites. They were still whole, unlike their Moon. 

It was still weird, being there, in the middle of the space. And he was an Exorcist. He returned to his bed and collapsed on top of the mattress, staring at his left hand. He was an Exorcist, and those strange feelings and hallucinations haunted him more and more and he didn’t even know why. 

That night he dreamed of feathers and green crystals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More people, more people! I'll probably tag them when they get a bigger role or something... yeah, I'll do that.  
> Kudos and comments to feed my motivation?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	11. What's Behind a Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, finals are kicking my ass, so sorry for the wait! Next chap is mostly filler and quite short so I'll try to update sooner... After that things will start moving faster and some of the mysteries will come around.

Link was the one that got them when they finished breakfast and led them to an office in one of the highest floors of the base. Its windows showed the space and Allen could still see Mars far away, just a red speck in the void. Komui was talking with another man, old, grey hair falling on his shoulders. They stopped talking when they entered the room and Link stood so straight that Alma chuckled, which only made the blond glare at them shortly.

Alma was with them, of course, they were the new addition to their little group, and Allen could see Komui look at them with a curious glint behind his glasses. Allen was still wondering why he wore them because, as far as he knew, three years ago he didn’t need them. Maybe something happened. 

“This is General Kevin Yeegar,” he introduced and the man smiled gently. Allen didn’t feel as if he knew him, which was a nice change. Or maybe not. He didn’t know anymore.

“You are the new Exorcists, right?” They nodded, and Allen was surprised to see that, even if he was a high ranking Exorcist, he seemed approachable, a rarity these days, when people seemed more worried about themselves than anyone else. “Then, I hope that you can keep up with the work. Being an Exorcist is hard… then again, maybe I’m too old.” They all laughed with him and the old man walked to the door. He smiled at them for a last time. “Good luck.”

“He’s the best, to be honest,” said Alma and Allen turned to them, arching an eyebrow. Alma shrugged. “I mean, he’s kind and a lot of older Exorcists just become these depressed and angsty guys.”

“Okay, okay, let’s get to work here,” called Komui and he clapped to gain their attention. He took a tablet and smiled at them, before gesturing to the door. “Let’s go. We have a test to do.”

“A test?” asked Lavi, shuffling over to Komui when he started to lead the way. Allen wasn’t far behind. 

“Yes, we need to test your reflexes and see how well you handle your Innocence,” he said and then he laughed. “It might be a good occasion to watch your companions, see how they’re going to fight.”

Allen could see the logic behind that, but he was maybe a bit too nervous. What kind of test was it going to be? It probably involved fighting, yeah, which wasn’t new to him but, well, having people watch him and analyse his every move unnerved him. He just hoped he wouldn’t make a fool of himself. 

“Uh, now it’s only one?” asked Alma and Allen turned to them. They smiled. “When I joined, I had to do various test to determine various things that I didn’t really care about, so I didn’t pay attention.”

They arrived at what looked like a control room, but much smaller. There was a panel on the other side of the room, just under a wide window. The walls and ceiling and floor were all metallic, just like the rest of the station. When they got closer to the window, they saw that there was a big room in the other side, empty, with tall walls. The ground was some meters under the control room, so they could see everything better. 

When Komui activated the panel, holograms appeared in the air, showing some statistics that Allen didn’t get to read, as Komui had turned to them with a grin and pointed at Kanda. The man huffed and glared at the engineer. 

“Kanda will go first,” he said and continued pointing to each of them as he named them, “next will be Lenalee, Lavi and, finally, Allen. It’s a simple enough activity. You’ll have to dodge and destroy the machines that will appear. You can’t just stay there, they will attack you.” He shrugged. “We won’t let you get hurt but, please understand that we need you to fight and we need to test how you can hold up.” They all nodded. Simple enough really, but Allen wasn’t concerned about that at all. He was worried about not being able to activate, of maybe slipping- “Link, lead Kanda there.”

Link almost rolled his eyes but gestured to Kanda to follow him out the door. Alma jumped then, waving in the air, a wide grin on their face. 

“Good luck, Yu,” they cheered and, to Allen’s surprise, Kanda grunted in response before closing the door after him.

“What?!” screeched Lavi, and Allen rolled his eyes when he turned to him. The redhead pointed at Alma with a trembling finger, eye wide and mouth open in disbelief. “He didn’t yell at you when you called him ‘Yu’!”

“Ah, I guess I get bonus points because I’ve been his friend for longer,” said Alma and stuck their tongue at Lavi, who gasped and threw his hands in the air in a dramatic gesture that made Lenalee chuckle. 

“Is this like a ‘get to this level of friendship if you want to unlock this feature’ or something?” asked Allen with a wide grin that sent Alma into a fit of laughter so hard that they had to lean on the panel.

“Okay, calm down, all of you,” said Komui, facing the window and moving some holograms so they all could see what was happening. He was trying to be serious, but Allen could see his grin in his reflection. Some of the holograms showed the room under them from various points of view and Allen laid back on the wall, watching as Kanda stomped in the room. “Kanda, are you ready?”

Kanda nodded shortly, his sharp gaze looking around the room, hand on the hilt of his sword. Allen leaned forward when the walls of the room changed and morphed to create machines, with deadly knives and various weapons. All of them lunged for Kanda, and Allen was surprised at how fast they were, even when they were just machines. Kanda was quick to unsheathe his sword. Its blade was a dark red that made red flashes dance on the walls when Kanda moved it.

He got even more nervous, seeing how Kanda dodged and attacked back the machines with fast precision. Would he be able to keep up? He didn’t know, honestly. He knew how to fight, he knew some acrobatics that had saved his life more than once, his Innocence was a full body armor, but still… He was doubting himself. He wasn’t a hero, was he? He was just a survivor. Would he know how to fight and save at the same time? He’d been alone on most fights, could he fight with other people? He could, right? Because he’d done so three years before with the exact same people and they’d came out okay. But…

“Lenalee, you’re next,” said Komui with a smile and Allen was forced back into the present. Kanda had finished, it seemed, because he was surrounded by the machines’ broken parts. Komui waved when Lenalee walked out the door with Link. “Be careful, Lenalee!”

Allen could feel Lavi’s gaze on him and he stubbornly avoided looking at him when he turned back to the now cleaned room. It seemed like the whole room was automatic, it was programmed to clean the broken parts and leave it empty again for the next time. Allen tried to gulp without seeming nervous, which seemed to work, but his throat was dry, and to him, gulping down was like eating sandpaper.

He focused on Lenalee to keep his thoughts calm enough and pushed forward his curiosity about her Innocence. He hadn’t seen it activated, so he was intrigued about how the ringlets worked with her. Did they change form? Probably.

The machines appeared again and Lenalee was fast to activate in a green flash. Allen blinked. Boots. The ringlets were gone and Lenalee’s legs were clad in hard red metal that created high-heeled boots with butterflies on her ankles. They reached her thighs and, when Allen blinked again, he frowned when Lenalee was gone. Then a hard hit echoed through the room and all of them turned to look to one of the walls. Lenalee had moved so fast that Allen hadn’t see her move. At all.

“What the hell was that?” asked Kanda as soon as he entered the control room. 

“That was Lena,” said Alma with an excited smile on their face. 

Kanda looked at the window, a confused frown on his face. Allen couldn’t blame him, really. Lenalee had been so fast he’d been confused himself. It was no surprise that Lenalee beat the machines in no time, so, when Lavi walked out the door, messing with Link, Allen hid a sigh. He was next. 

Lavi was fast to destroy the machines too. He had made his hammer much bigger and he’d handled it like it weighed nothing. Allen rolled his eyes at the smirk on his face, he was far too excited to destroy the machines. So excited, that he nearly destroyed the wall in the process. He did make a dent on it. 

“Okay, Allen, you’re next,” said Komui and Allen whipped his head to him with wide eyes. Komui’s grin softened immediately. “Your Innocence will listen to you, don’t worry.”

Link was waiting at the door, looking at him with a confused frown, but he ignored it and walked over to him. Kanda was staring at him, as was Alma, and Lenalee tilted her head to the side, her eyes worried. 

“What happened?” she asked before Allen could get out and he grimaced. He turned around quickly before any of them could say something and smiled, trying not to let it shake. 

“Nothing, it’s all okay,” he said and hurried out the door with Link after gazing pointedly at Komui for a moment. Lenalee still looked unconvinced as he shut the door, but he let himself sigh.

Link was quiet while they walked down hallways and turned corners. Allen prefered it that way, to be honest, as he was still nervous and kept his eye glued to his red hand, clenching and unclenching his fist. He would do it okay, right? He wouldn’t fuck up, right? The Innocence wouldn’t turn on him,  _ right _ ?

“Good luck, Allen!” cheered Lavi when they got to the door. The redhead’s hair was disheveled, but other than that, he looked the same as before. Allen gulped and nodded.

The room looked more intimidating when he was inside, with tall walls and a ceiling he couldn’t really see and a window on the left side. He took a deep breath, before walking to the centre as calm as he could, which wasn’t saying much. Maybe if he activated his Innocence, he could feel more confident? It worked the last time… no, the time before that. Last time had been… weird. And confusing. 

“Are you ready, Allen?” asked Komui’s voice, echoing, and Allen closed his eye for a second before opening it again and looking at the window with a smile. 

He heard the clank of the mechanisms surrounding him and he tensed, looking around, gaze focused. Adrenaline started coursing through his veins in a way that felt so familiar… right, he should activate. 

When the first machine emerged from the wall, he was already ready and he activated with just a thought. The white feathers enveloped him and the gold glow from his activation was reflected back at him, but he didn’t waste time and lunged for the nearest machine, tearing right through it with his claw and sending the broken pieces against the wall. The cape felt warm on his shoulders, the feathers on the hood tickled his cheeks and the claw felt like a comfortable weight by his side, so he let himself smile softly for a moment.

He turned on his heels, slashing the air just in time to hit another machine that had lunged for him and, even if he couldn’t really tell the distance between them and him, he managed to use his cape to immobilize them and keep them like that until he could deal with them. He was getting used to it, his moves were fast enough and he felt good, he felt confident, so, at some point, he grinned, surrounding himself with more feathers to fend off some more machines. It was fun, it was familiar, it was as if he’d used the Innocence for all his life. 

He was disappointed when he slashed at a machine and, at the same time, used his cape to slam the last machine against the wall, making a dent in the surface and breaking said machine to pieces. He ran his gloved hand through his cape, sighing. Yeah, that had been fun. He really hoped he hadn’t got carried away, like Lavi. 

When he got out from the room, with a wide satisfied smile, he almost laughed at Link, who was trying so hard to hide his surprise that his serious expression was wavering. His wide eyes gave him away, and Allen couldn’t wipe his smile off his face in all the way back to the control room. 

Allen didn’t even mind exchanging and commenting on his friends’ Innocences and fighting style. His Innocence seemed to be willing to work with him and that put him at ease. He didn’t even know why he’d been so nervous. Maybe it was because the last time, his Innocence had activated on its own, it had even slashed at Lavi, one of his friends. Then again, he’d been out of it himself. The Innocence had been nothing but warm and helpful. It wasn’t that bad, for a weapon that could kill monsters and had plunged him right in the middle of a merciless war.

“Reever will take you to the one who’s made your uniforms,” said Komui with a smile. The holograms were still around him, but he seemed much more relaxed. Allen jumped when the door opened again and a familiar man entered. But this time he remembered where he’d seen him.

“Ah, Reever you’ve come too,” greeted Lenalee with a smile and the man smiled at her.

“Yeah, seems like they’ve promoted me,” said the man, scratching his spiky hair. He gestured for them to follow him out the door. “Follow me. Alma, you can come too, of course.”

“Ah, Reever, wait a moment,” said Komui and all of them turned to him with confused glances. He smiled. “I need to talk with Allen for a moment. If you could all wait outside…”

Allen looked out of the corner of his eye as all of them left them alone in the control room, some of the looking worried and some just impatient. Why did Komui want to talk with him? Was it because he’d been unusually nervous before the test? Or maybe… because of what happened with Hevlaska? He still didn’t remember anything about what happened there, only pain, so he wasn’t sure he could be of help if that was the case. 

“Okay, Allen we have a little problem with your file…” said Komui, reaching out for a file just behind him. It was a pale folder, with some papers inside. Allen blinked. His files? Ah, Exorcists had files, yeah, they actually cared about his information. “You… don’t have a surname, do you?”

“I don’t,” nodded Allen. Really, it wasn’t that rare. Orphaned children usually just didn’t have surnames. Most of them chose whatever surname they liked and ran with it, but others didn’t care enough to choose one. Allen was one of them. He frowned. “It’s a problem, right?”

“Yeah, it kinda is,” said Komui with a rueful smile. Allen sighed. “Look, I just need a surname to write in your file. It’s your choice to use it. It’s just a legal matter.” Komui paused. “Do you have an ID?”

“Yeah,” said Allen, because he was mostly sure that he could trust Komui. At least, in this he could. More personal things still seemed like a big no, even to his new friends. “But it’s… mostly illegal. It just shows my age and the information you need to enter the cities. Nothing else. No surname.”

Komui nodded and hummed. Allen lowered his head. He needed a surname. To be honest, he hadn’t really thought about it. He hadn’t felt the need to have a surname, just Allen was enough. And even Allen had been a name he’d chosen… or maybe not? When had he got his name? As far as he could remember, he’d always introduced himself as Allen… 

But a surname. He tried some of them, combining them with his first name, but somehow, none of them fit in his head. Komui was waiting patiently, but he couldn’t stay like that for too much time. His comrades were waiting for him outside the door. He needed to think of something fast, but something that fit. 

Then he remembered. What did that Akuma call him? What was the full name of the guy he was envious of? Oh, yeah. Walker. Allen Walker. Would it be bad of him to use the same surname? He had the same name too. Would he be stealing his identity, somehow? For all he knew, the guy could be dead already. Well, it was the best he got. If there was a problem with it, Komui would surely tell him. 

“Walker,” he said and, somehow, the word fell easily from his lips. Komui looked at him with surprise. “Allen Walker.”

“Allen Walker…” mumbled the man and he hummed again. Allen felt anxiety creeping up and he struggled to gulp it down. Was something wrong with that? Then Komui smiled at him again. “It has a nice ring to it. It fits you.” Komui nodded and Allen felt relief spread through him. “I’ll write it down. Go with them to get your uniform.”

Allen nodded, a satisfied smile on his face, and turned around to open the door. They all looked at him with curiosity, some of them with worry, but that worry faded away when they saw his smile. Link had gone away, so only the Exorcists and Reever remained in the group. 

“Johnny is the one who makes the uniforms,” explained Alma as they walked. Allen felt a spark at that name, but shook it off as another weird feeling. “He’s one of the few good guys around here, really.”

Reever led them to another wing of the base. They passed by some wide rooms, which were filled with stressed out scientists and engineers, running around and swearing with various machine parts. Allen even felt sorry for a few of them when he saw the dark bags under their eyes. 

“Johnny, are you there?” shouted Reever when they got in front of one door. He knocked on it, but it was really thick steel, so Allen wasn’t sure that the person inside, if there was anyone in there, could hear it. Reever mumbled under his breath and Allen leaned forward to catch what he was saying. “If he’s not here… I don’t want to scour the whole station…”

The door opened then, brusquely, so fast that all the Exorcists tensed to defend or attack, fists ready. But they all relaxed when they saw the panting man that had opened the door. He was leaning on it with his hand and Allen could see his messy brown hair that the man had tried to tame into a bun. His arms were scrawny and he was wearing a long white lab coat that seemed too big on him. When he raised his head to smile at them, Allen felt a pang of familiarity when he saw his face, his round and large glasses. It hit him like a train, in a way that he hadn’t felt in such a long time that he almost backed away. 

“Eh, Reever? Oh, you’re here for the uniforms, right?” said the man and Allen wasn’t at all surprised when he recognized an American accent. “Come in!”

The room wasn’t that big, really, but it was filled with a weird mix of comics, machine parts, unfinished robots and clothes. Not just normal clothes. Allen could tell that most of the fabric thrown around was special, in one way or another. Resistant, flexible, and, most of all, expensive. 

“Thank you very much,” said Lenalee and Allen turned around to see the man giving Lenalee a neatly folded military like uniform. It was a dark grey, with black and blue details around. The girl walked calmly to one of the changing rooms in the back. 

Lavi did the same, and Kanda only grunted, but they walked to the changing rooms with their uniforms when Johnny told them to try them on, just in case there was something wrong with them. There were only three of them, so Allen was left standing uncomfortably side by side with the scientists, as Reever looked around at the various papers throw around, muttering about a report, and Alma messed around with one of the robots. 

“Um.” Allen startled, almost dropping his uniform to the floor, before tilting his head to the side so he could see the scientist, as he was on his bad side. The man looked nervous, and suddenly, Allen didn’t feel that uncomfortable anymore. “Eh, do we know each other?” Allen stared at him. The man laughed nervously. “What’s your name?”

“Allen… Walker,” he managed to say. Reever swore when a tower of documents fell by his side, and he could hear Lavi bang his head on the side of the changing room, Lenalee’s somewhat surprised laugh and Kanda’s grunt. He wondered for a moment why they had reacted like that, but then focused on the scientist by his side. “I wouldn’t think too much of the seeming familiar thing, really. It isn’t… the first time it’s happened to me.”

“Uh, right,” he mumbled and they fell into another awkward silence, until Kanda walked out from the changing room and Allen nearly ran to it, without even looking at the other man.

He slammed the door and sighed, leaning back on the wall. That had been terribly shocking. He mostly expected to feel like that with Exorcists, but to have that strong reaction with a scientist… 

He shook his head and he stretched his arms to be able to see the dark uniform. It was dark, it had a military style, which he was expecting, to be honest, and the boots were really tall, with metallic parts. He shrugged and started putting it on, listening as Lavi and Lenalee finished and started talking with the people outside of the changing rooms. 

The uniform was pretty comfortable. He had a tight sleeveless shirt under the dark jacket that made him feel warm, as if he’d already wore it sometime in his life, even when he didn’t remember, but he just shook the thought away. He was getting tired of them. The uniform was more on the tight side, and he wondered if it was because he was a close range fighter. It was a short jacket that came to just under his hips and the boots, tight, came to his thighs, with steel edges and soles. 

He jumped up and down a few times, curious, before he came out of the changing room, carrying his clothes on his arm. Kanda’s uniform was similar to his, but the jacket was longer, down to his knees, and his boots were shorter. Lavi’s jacket was even shorter than his, and his boots were like Kanda’s, but he had his hammer strapped to his thigh. Lenalee’s uniform was more different, if only because she had a translucent blue, two-layered skirt under her jacket and she had a tight jumpsuit covering her lower body. Her ringlets were left outside of the jumpsuit, of course, and she only had metallic soles, as the jumpsuit covered her feet too. 

“Everything alright?” was asking Johnny, fussing over Lavi’s uniform and, when he saw Allen, he hurried over to him, asking him the same. 

“It’s perfect,” smiled Allen, because it was, he was really comfortable and he could move freely. He tried to ignore just how expensive his uniform was, and how much it would get destroyed in fights. Oh, Cross would be such a competent Exorcist only for the clothes’ quality. “Thank you.”

“Ah, I only do what I can to help,” said the man, smiling nervously and scratching his messy hair. Allen widened his smile. Maybe his stay wouldn’t be that bad, after all.

“Okay, hear me out, all of you,” said Reever and clapped to get their attention. Allen tilted his head to see him better around all the papers thrown around. Alma jumped when the robot they were playing with fell down from the table and they shuffled discreetly towards him. “Tomorrow we’ll be starting your training as pilots. You’ll get some classes about how to pilot spaceships and crafts and how some of the machinery works. You’ll have a month to do so. You’ll also be training as Exorcists, fighting, so expect a long and busy month.” Lavi grumbled under his breath and Lenalee laughed at his disgruntled face. “Ah, yes, the ones who’ll be supervising your progress and teaching you all you need to know about machinery… it’ll be Johnny and I.”

“What?” said Johnny and Allen laughed. 

Yeah, maybe his stay wouldn’t be that bad, if he ignored the death and suffering, that is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see the inspiration for the new uniform, here's the link: https://larrywilson.deviantart.com/art/DIVINITY-FORGE-REVO-FLIGHT-CREW-511936736  
> Comments? Kudos?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	12. Learning a New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chap is mostly filler uhhh it's on the short side? More or less. But some stuff is important for worldbuilding and *ahem* the future.

To be honest, Allen didn’t know too many technical stuff. Yes, he knew about circuits and what not, and he was pretty good with codes, but that was it. He didn’t know anything about physics, about chemistry, about maths. Even so, apparently he was quite good at maths, at least he was quick to calculate things. 

Johnny and Reever were usually the ones that explained things to them. Johnny was usually nervous or extremely excited when explaining, though, so Reever had to help him to make things clear to them. 

The first two weeks of his stay at the space station were busy for him, if only because he needed to study a lot of things while he trained. He didn’t have classes, per se, but he did need to study how the machines they would work with functioned and how to control spaceships and crafts, just in case. It was interesting, but the one who was the most excited was usually Lavi. 

The redhead absorbed the information like a sponge, he always asked a lot of questions to Reever and Johnny, and he was the one Allen went to the most when he had some quick question about what they were doing. He was an extremely good teacher, he mused.

He didn’t know when Lavi had found Bookman, but one day, at lunch, the redhead had come grumbling and rubbing his head, so Allen supposed that they had reunited. 

Allen had met the other Exorcists as they came and went. He met Marie, Kanda’s ‘older brother’, the only person in basically the whole station that could have a decent conversation with him. Allen had seen him around Miranda a lot and, at first, he’d been confused, but he smiled when he saw how relaxed Miranda seemed around him.

He met Aristar Krory, a shy man at first, but Allen had found out that he was really good with plants and he’d spent the rest of the hour asking him about them. Plants were really rare, because they couldn’t really live with how polluted the atmosphere was, so he managed to get the man to show him his plants, contained in some capsules with clear carbon dioxide and oxygen. 

He met Klaud Nine, a General, a serious woman that always carried a flaming whip and a monkey, and, to his surprise, he saw once or twice Kanda’s guardian, Froi Tiedoll, who was, apparently, another General. He didn’t get to talk with them, though, they passed by quickly.

He also met Daisya Barry, a man who also knew Kanda, and who got on really well with Lavi. He quickly realized that he should run away when he saw the two of them plotting together. He was a nice enough man, though.

He only got that spark with a few. Marie and Krory were really familiar for him, Nine and Tiedoll not so much, but he could feel something. But, Daysia didn’t really… seem familiar to him. It was like he was talking to a random stranger. 

He tried asking the others, when Alma was not around because, while he’d felt something when he saw them (sadness, guilt, a heavy feeling that he couldn’t really make out), he didn’t know what to make of it, as Lenalee nor Lavi hadn't felt anything. Lenalee and Kanda had said that they had felt that familiarity with Daysia right when they saw him the first time, and Lavi admitted to feel something, but not really much. Allen had been mulling it over for the next few days, but he didn’t get anywhere. It was really confusing but, soon enough, it was brushed away because of all the other things he needed to do.

He usually sparred with Kanda, and sometimes Lenalee. Kanda was a good partner to train with, but they always ended up fighting too seriously and they needed to be stopped by someone. Usually Lenalee. But, well, he supposed that Kanda wasn’t that bad. 

He’d seen Alma’s Innocence some days after they’d reached the station, at the same time as he’d discovered Alma’s obsession with mayonnaise. It was a double-bladed spear, long, with the handle a deep blue, and when it was activated, wings sprouted out from the blades, retracting on Alma’s will, and they laughed about how much they were similar to Allen’s cape. 

He could maintain his Innocence activated for much longer and he finally got the hang of the cape. It wasn’t even that hard. His body usually moved on its own. 

“I’m pretty sure you’ll like it,” was saying Johnny one day, two weeks after their arrival at the base. He was almost jumping up and down from the excitement while he led them towards  _ something _ . Allen supposed it wasn’t a bad thing. “It should arrive in about five minutes, so we need to hurry if we want to see how it comes. But really, it’s such a cool thing, you’ll thank us-”

“But what is it?” interrupted Lavi, with a wide grin, but his green eye was impatient. 

“You’ll see, you’ll see,” hummed Johnny and Allen couldn’t help but laugh at the redhead’s frown. 

“Be patient for once, Lavi,” chuckled Lenalee and Lavi turned to her, mouth set in a displeased line.

“But Lena…” he whined, which only made the girl laugh harder. Kanda huffed. 

“Here we are,” said Johnny, stopping just outside one of the doors that led to the platforms where the spaceships landed. Uh, were they going to see a spaceship? They’d already seen a lot of them. 

They all went through the door and looked around the wide platform with curiosity. The platform wasn’t narrow like the others, it was wide, with steel walkways all around, and a metallic ring just in the middle. Was the spaceship supposed to land on that? It was slightly smaller than usual, though. Was it a new model? It would explain why Johnny was that excited. 

They didn’t walk outside of the barrier, though, they didn’t really want to be sucked into the space. 

He touched lightly the plaster still covering the left side of his face. It was mostly healed, but the few doctors at the base didn’t want to take chances. He’d mostly adjusted to the lack of depth perception, but, well, he still knocked down some things from time to time. 

“Oh, here it comes!” exclaimed Johnny and the four Exorcists looked back at him, confused. What was coming? The scientist pointed at the space, and all of them squinted. They couldn’t see anything. “Don’t blink for a bit.”

Allen was about to turn to him, to ask him what they were waiting for, to just explain, but then, he couldn’t look away. 

There was a spark just outside of the platform, it lighted up the walls of the inside of the station, and, when the white light died down, they could see a spaceship in its place. Allen could only gape as he stared at the spaceship, eye wide. Was it…?

“It’s a light-speed spaceship, right?” exclaimed Lenalee and Lavi at the same time and even Kanda was looking at it with surprise and wonder, even if the man didn’t really like all the technology and machinery, as Allen had found out when Kanda had been grumbling around one of the spaceships they had been analysing. 

“It is. It's called the White Ark,” sung Johnny and, when the gate closed with a loud ‘clank’, he grabbed Allen and Lavi’s arms, as they were closest to him, and started dragging them outside as the platform filled with oxygen. “How was it?”

Allen and Lavi stayed back when the scientist continued walking towards the spaceship, with a big grin in his face. The light-speed spaceship was white, a glittering white that reflected the light from the walls, all sharp angles and engines. Allen jumped, startled, when the door opened and people got out. A woman and two men. 

“Ah, Johnny, you’re here already,” greeted the woman with a big smile. 

Allen tilted his head. Did he feel that strange that was becoming common feeling? Yes. Yes, he did. The woman had her hair tied up in two pigtails and her ribbons had white flowers that made Allen frown before he could stop himself. Good thing the girl hadn’t realised they were there. 

“It’s been a while, Lou Fa,” greeted Johnny and waved at the two men that had stayed back. They waved back. “Hello again, Rikei, Shifu!”

“Ah, who’re they?” asked Lou Fa, pointing to them. Allen noticed how her eyes stayed on him longer than on anyone else, before she flushed and looked down. 

“They’re the new Exorcists,” explained Johnny with a grin. He hadn’t noticed a thing. Then he turned to them. “These are the pilots of the White Ark. At least for now. I’m sure you’ll get to go on it sometime.”

Allen sure hoped so, but he wasn’t sure that it would be an easy travel. Light speed… He was sure that it would be hard on their bodies. Then again, the three pilots seemed perfectly well.

The three pilots took off again the very next day, after meeting with Komui and getting their new orders, so Allen didn’t get to see them again and ask them about the strange feeling. But he was sure that it wouldn’t be necessary. 

The next two weeks were as normal as they could get. Training, studying. Johnny and Reever introduced them to a simulator, where they spent some hours, trying to get the hang of piloting a spaceship. Allen wasn’t that bad at it, none of them were, at least they wouldn’t crash the ship, but it was Kanda of all people who was extremely good at moving the digitally huge ship. Allen and Lavi usually complained to Lenalee and Alma that it was because Kanda had such good eyesight. 

Allen managed to convince the doctors at the base to take off the plasters on his face just after the light-speed spaceship took off. It took nearly an hour of talking and saying ‘it’s okay’ repeatedly, but Allen ran to the nearest bathroom just after going out of the medical wing to take them off. 

There was a thick scar running through the left side of his face, though. It started on his forehead and ran diagonally through his eye. He was lucky that it inclined to the opposite direction of his mouth, who knew what would have happened. His eye was different, too, as it was lighter and reflected the light. Definitely blind, of course, but he knew that.

He ended up parting his hair, which was getting long, so that his long fringe fell over his left eye. Oh, well, he couldn’t see out of it anyway. 

The only problem for him, was adjusting to his new life.

Really, the changes had been shocking for him and it only hit him harder the longer he stayed in that space station, the longer he spent in the same place. He was used to leave the place he was at in less than a month, to keep moving, all around the world, seeing new people and new places. The longer he stayed in that station, the longer he felt like he was caged up. 

He had managed to nick some pieces from the labs, when the engineers and scientists were working overtime and thus, too sleepy or tired to notice him, and set to work on repairing his phone. Unfortunately, it was a distraction that didn’t last him enough.

And so, he took walks, all around the station, watching as the people around him ran around, doing this and that. He wasn’t bored, per se, but he wanted to move. He needed to move. 

And his perfect chance came just when they finished their training, when the Government called for a meeting. In Mars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not much about Mars yet but the next chap will shed some light. And some darkness of course, it's dgm.  
> Kudos? Comments?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	13. Corrupt Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm *slams hands on table* so tired right now! So, if there are any mistakes, please tell me. Also, this arc is longer than I remember, uh.  
> So, have fun in Mars and thank Nasa for their Mars' map, it was really handy for this chap.

He was bored out of his skull.

He’d hacked the network in the station at least ten times because he wanted to see an action series, but ten minutes later they just blocked him. He usually waited for five minutes before trying again, but he soon got bored and left them alone. 

He had managed to get Lavi to bring him a cup of coffee from the cafeteria when the redhead came out from his room to get something to snack on while he worked on the documents that Bookman had, literally, shoved in his face earlier that morning. Lavi had been holed up in his room ever since, Alma was doing some paperwork with Lenalee, Johnny was working (like always) and Kanda was hunting down Daisya, so Allen had gone up to his room. To do nothing. Great.

He sighed for the hundredth time. He was sure that Lavi, whose room was next to his, would come back to his room, armed with his enlarged hammer to knock him out to get him to shut up. Maybe it wasn’t even the worst idea, seeing as he couldn’t even sleep. 

He could go to practice with the flight simulator, but really, he wasn’t feeling up for it either. He wanted to move, damn it, he was even bored of the void of black. He wanted to do something. Something that wasn’t paperwork, that is.

There was a knock on his door and he jumped up from where he’d been laying on his bed immediately. Komui had said the day before that they were full fledged Exorcist so maybe, just maybe, it was his first mission? He knew he shouldn’t look forward to the missions, as he could get killed, but really, he wanted to move.

“Ah, hello Reever,” he greeted as soon as he opened the door. His smile dimmed. “You look horrible.”

“Yeah, well,” sighed the man and ran his dirty hand through his hair, which was in the same situation. Allen guessed that Komui had made another machine and it didn’t go well. “Komui called you to his office.” He paused and then pointed to Lavi’s room. “Is he in there?”

“Yeah, I think so, if he hasn’t died from all the work,” he said and watched as Reever shuffled over to the redhead’s door and knocked. No response. He knocked again. Nothing. He growled. “I’ll go ahead.” 

Reever waved at him to go, glaring at Lavi’s door with all his might, and Allen just turned back inside his room to put on his boots. He was tempted to grab his uniform’s jacket, but shook his head in the end and put on a long and dark cardigan, stuffing his red hand in its pocket. He wasn’t that comfortable with it, even if he was mostly used to see it instead of his normal pale hand, and he was even more insecure about people seeing it. 

He saw Reever taking something out from his lab coat’s pocket and he hurried down the hall, towards what he supposed was the right path to Komui’s office. He’d been more than a month at the space station and he still got lost, something that Lavi used to make fun of. Allen had taken to steal his hammer when he wasn’t looking and hide it as revenge. He admitted that it was fun to see the redhead run around the base in panic.

Komui’s space station office had been changing as the days passed by, morphing into a weird place where papers, machine parts and discarded tablets coexisted in every corner. All the Exorcists had learnt that they shouldn’t dwell on those things too much. 

When Allen knocked on the door, it opened silently by itself and he walked inside, watching carefully his steps, because really, he didn’t want to step on something and make it explode on him. Lenalee and Alma were already there, sitting on the sofa, talking with Komui, who was shoving papers into a drawer with a tight smile. 

“Oh, hi, Allen!” greeted friendly Alma, waving their hand in the air. Allen smiled at them, wrapping the cardigan around himself and sitting on the sofa side by side with Alma.

“How many of us have you called?” asked Allen, looking at Komui. The man paused.

“All of the Exorcists,” he said and shoved at the drawer to close it. It snapped closed with a loud ‘thud’ and they all jumped. Allen frowned, confused. 

“All of us?” he repeated, and he could see how Lenalee and Alma exchanged a confused glance. Komui waved a hand.

“I’ll explain when you’re all here,” he said. 

People began filling the room slowly. Miranda and Marie walked in some time after Allen, sitting on another sofa and talking softly between them, but they did glance curiously at Komui and the younger Exorcists. Next were Krory, who sat next to Marie, then Kanda, who was dragged to their sofa by an energetic Alma, then Suman, who moved over to a corner, and then, finally, Lavi and Bookman. He jumped over to them with a big grin, and Bookman, his guardian, stayed close to Komui, looking around with a sharp gaze. 

“Okay, now that we’re all here,” said Komui after looking around, “I can explain what we’re going to do.”

Allen fidgeted with his sleeve and shuffled over to the side when Lavi skipped to sit with them. He moved his head so he was facing Komui with his good eye, just in time to see how Bookman moved away his head. Allen frowned. He’d been looking at Lavi, but he hadn’t been fast enough to catch the emotion in his eyes before they became guarded. There was something about Bookman, sometimes, when nobody was looking at him, that just didn’t exactly make sense. 

“We’re going to Mars,” said Komui, fast, sharp, and Allen blinked and raised his head quickly, almost too quick, but he was so surprised that he managed to ignore the crack of his neck. 

“What? Why?” yelped Alma, and Allen frowned when he noticed how they had tensed. 

“There’s a meeting with Government officials about the war,” explained Komui, his voice unusually serious. It made Allen uneasy. “All Exorcists must attend.” There was a pause. “I don’t know if it’s because they need to speak with you, but I think it’s more probable that you’re going there because you’ll be bodyguards.” Komui sighed, his eyes glancing quickly at Lenalee, before he closed them, tired. “We’ll leave in an hour.”

With that, most of the Exorcists got up and left, talking with each other in confused mutters and grumbles. Allen couldn’t bring himself to get up from the sofa, though, he was seething. Those higher ups, they dragged them, all the Exorcists, to Mars, just so they could be safe while they had their stupid meeting. And they were leaving Earth unattended. Were they aware of how the Akuma could wipe out entire cities by themselves? 

His friends got up, but Lenalee told them to go without her, as she was going to stay with her brother for a bit. Allen took a deep breath. He couldn’t go there and act rash, there was too much at stake. It wasn’t only his life in the line. He got up, still clenching the sides of his cardigan with his fingers, and followed the others through the halls, head lowered and white eyebrows furrowed. 

Really, what were they going to talk about? Were they, as Exorcists, allowed to even listen? He parted with the others and touched the screen of his door with his right hand to unlock it. When it opened, he took a step forward, head still lowered, but someone grabbed his arm to stop him and he lashed out, closing his red fingers around the other’s wrist and twisting it in just a couple of seconds. The yelp was too familiar and he released immediately. 

“Damn, that was fast,” mumbled the redhead, rubbing his wrist, eyebrow furrowed, and Allen shuffled nervously on his feet. Lavi sighed and, when he raised his head, Allen froze at the genuine concern in his green eye. His voice was low when he talked. “Don’t do anything rash, Al.”

“Why… would I do something like that?” asked Allen, confused. Lavi shrugged. 

“I guess it was your eyes,” he said. “It was like something was telling me that you were going to do something stupid.”

“Very funny,” grumbled Allen as Lavi walked to the next door, grin present on his face, but eye still uneasy. Allen was sure that he’d fallen into the redhead’s distraction, but he couldn’t get himself to care. 

He changed into his uniform quickly, grabbed his charging phone from the bedside table and started getting all his belongings in his bag. He’d acquired some magazines about codes when he was at the base, but he still had plenty of room for them. He knew that they would take his bag wherever they went, so he left it on his bed. 

Allen made sure that he’d got everything before going out the room. Lenalee was back and she had changed into her uniform too. She was talking with Kanda in hushed whispers and, when she saw Allen get out of his room, she waved him over. Allen walked to them, frowning. 

“Komui said that we shouldn’t listen to their meeting,” she said, a frown clear on her face. Kanda huffed.

“That just makes us want to eavesdrop more,” sighed Allen with a small smile. Lenalee sighed. “He realises that, right?”

“He says that the topics that they’ll be discussing… they disgust him,” she explained. Allen frowned again. 

“What are they going to talk about?” asked Kanda, arms crossed. Lenalee looked at both of them, biting her lip.

“He didn’t say,” she answered, just as Lavi came out from his room and walked over to them, his eye more serious than ever but smile still intact, friendly. Kanda frowned at him and Lavi paused for a moment, his smile wavering until it fell, crumbling, and he sighed. 

“You’re going to listen to the meeting, right, Stupid Rabbit?” he said and Lavi raised his gloved hand to run it through his spiky hair. 

“I could, it’s my job, but gramps hasn’t told me anything,” he said and his smile was back, but this time it was tired, as if he was too tired to keep it up. Allen frowned. His job, uh? 

_ They’re Bookmen. They record the hidden history. _

Of course. How could he forget about that? That piece of information that he wasn’t supposed to know. His mind had shoved that word, that knowledge, at him three years before, when he met the three teenagers with whom he was fighting side by side. 

“Guys! We need to get to the spaceship!” shouted Alma from down the corridor. Allen could see their tense shoulders and, as they got closer, he could guess that it was the blond’s fault. Link was going to travel with them again, it seemed. 

They hurried down the halls, bumping against some scientists and yelling apologies to them as they passed, and they started to run at some point. They got to the door that led to the platform where their spaceship was supposed to be, as Alma had said, and Kanda nearly ripped open the door with a grunt. Lenalee berated him softly as they got inside, but even Allen could see that Kanda wasn’t really paying attention. Allen could see why.

There was someone talking with Komui just outside of the spaceship, just next to the gate that led inside it. It was more or less the same as the one they’d used to get to the station, but it was wider, with more wings and sturdier engines by its sides. 

As they got closer, Allen frowned deeply when he caught sight of the woman talking to Komui. Same slicked back blond hair and sharp eyes, she carried an air of arrogance and authority around her that got in his nerves for some reason. And in Kanda’s too, because Lenalee had to grab his arm in a tight grip to steer him inside the ship. 

They got to the control room in no time, so they walked over to the sofas by the side. They were only Marie and Miranda in the control room, and they sat in the opposite side from them, so they had the entire circle of sofas for them. 

As Alma and Lavi managed to find the video game they had become obsessed with, people began filling the room and taking their positions until, finally, Komui got on his perch and clapped to gain everyone’s attention. The light above the gate flashed red for a few seconds while the gate opened slowly and carefully and, when it was completely open, the light flashed green. The engines started immediately and Lenalee cringed by his side at the loud noise, even as Lavi and  Alma continued playing. 

Allen was thankful that they didn’t need to break through any atmosphere, even though he knew that, when they left Mars they wouldn’t be that lucky. Well, at least Mars’ atmosphere was a lot lighter than Earth’s, so it wouldn’t be that hard for them. Still.

Allen, Lenalee and Kanda watched as the void of black changed little by little and they got closer to the red spot. The spot became bigger and bigger, until Allen could distinguish different color-schemes of red and textures. As they got even closer, they could even make out mountains, plains and even the ice on the North of the red planet. 

The spaceship shook and turned, the engine’s noise dimmed somewhat, and Komui started pointing around. This time Allen could understand what was being said, how Komui commanded all the different engines and wings and modified the trajectory so they could turn to the planet’s Northern hemisphere, close to its ecuador. 

“Oh, that’s…” pointed Lenalee and Allen looked over to where she was gesturing. In the middle of the red landscape, he could see a silver spot.

Uh, so they wouldn’t go where all the rich people lived, right? The meeting building was isolated in the middle of the red planet. It was for the better, thought Allen, because he was pretty sure he would snap if he had to see how they lived in person. He’d seen documentaries, yes, those documentaries that the TV usually emitted so more people went over to Mars and bought a house there. They were extremely luxurious, with plants that had been adapted to Mars’ ground. They formed small cities, which were close to other cities, and were covered by glass, to protect the people from Mars’ still toxic atmosphere. Allen liked to think that they lived in there like they were shut in a cage. 

The spaceship shook again and the engines made some more noise, before Allen heard a clank and he knew that they had rotated to stop their fall. The spaceship started going down and Allen and the others grabbed the sofa’s edges. Lavi and Alma paused the game and turned off the hologram, before doing the same. 

At first, it was a slow fall, but it picked up speed, until all they could see was white and orange. It was similar to how the crafts had descended, but much faster. The spaceship shook for a moment, before the orange and white cleared away and Allen blinked when his eyes adjusted to the dull colors. 

Mars skies were similar to Earth’s. But where the Earth’s sky was dark because of the pollution and unstable climate, Mars’ sky was a light brown color, like sand. And, when he lowered his head to where they were landing, he blinked, surprised. In front of them there was a tall building, like a skyscraper, made of silver and glass, supported partialy from behind by a rocky redish mountain. It was inside a spacious ball of glass, and it somehow reminded him of the souvenirs the cities liked to sell to rich tourists. 

The spaceship landed on a separated ball of glass that opened when they got close and, while the spaceship’s engines started slowing down, it closed and another gate opened just in front of them. 

“Wow,” gasped Lenalee and Allen turned to his companions. 

Lenalee was staring at Mars’ sky, Kanda had his eyebrows arched up, impressed, and Lavi was, of course, the one that was trying to drink everything in. Alma seemed cautious, and Allen had to remind himself that Alma had been working as an Exorcist for several years. He often forgot about it when he saw how relaxed they were with them. 

“Welcome to Isidis Planitia’s Base!” greeted a woman when they got out of the spaceship. Allen looked around and wrinkled his nose when he saw a dark cloud approaching them. The woman must had seen him, because she turned and smiled politely. “It’s a sandstorm, there’s nothing to worry about.”

Allen was still worried, but he supposed it was because on Earth the storms were usually really destructive and well. He didn’t know how much they’d reinforced the glass. 

The woman led them towards the tall building through the glass tunnels, talking about what kind of research they did there. Allen was kind of interested, if only because it wasn’t a totally useless building that they’d built only for meetings. It was a bit overkill, with how big it was, though. 

Allen could see every Exorcists look around, sharp eyes and muscles tense, as if they were preparing for an attack and Allen frowned softly. Were they in dangerous territory? Apart from the classes, they hadn’t really explained how the war worked. Yes, Allen knew that they fought Akuma and Skeletons, but, surely there were people controlling those? Allen frowned even more when he remembered what the Akuma in New Delhi had said. The Earl… they hadn’t mentioned anything about that. 

The inside of the building was as extravagant as the outside, and Allen almost wanted to leave. Tall white ceilings, like those he’d seen in destroyed cathedrals, but they weren’t broken, the columns were tall and white and imposing, and, when they entered through yet another door, the light dimmed, the hallways showed pipes and the floor morphed to steel that clacked when they stepped on it. 

“The meeting will be held at the first door, just at the end of that hallway,” explained the woman with a smile so obviously fake that Allen couldn’t stop his cringe. Really, if it was going to be that obvious, it’d have been better to just don’t do it. Then she turned to the Exorcists. “Sir Exorcists, you can explore and patrol the area all you like.” 

With that, she marched through another hallway, leaving the large group standing there. Allen sighed. What should they do? Before he could ask, Komui got closer to them, a rare serious expression on his face. 

“I’m going ahead to the meeting,” he said and he looked around at all of them, eyes glinting behind his glasses. “Please, be careful.”

They watched as Komui walked down the hallway, talking with other people, all uniformed and soon, they found themselves nearly alone. Allen turned around just in time to see Bookman say something to Lavi, before the old man sent a pointed stare at his apprentice and walked down the hallway too. Lavi seemed to sag, before he turned to them with his usual smile. 

“Be careful with what you do from here,” said a serious voice from behind them and all of them turned to Suman. The man scoffed. “You should take the Higher Ups seriously.”

As Suman turned around and started walking down the hallway in the opposite direction of the meeting, Alma, Lenalee, Kanda and Lavi all looked at each other, curious, confused and, most of all, hesitant. They all wanted to know what they were going to talk about but, really, did they want to know?

“Should we… eavesdrop?” asked Alma in a really low voice. Lenalee bit her lower lip. 

“I don’t know anymore,” she mumbled. 

There was a minute of silence, and they could hear voices talking down the hall, where the meeting was supposed to be. They had to make a decision fast. Allen sighed and stuffed his hands in his uniform’s pockets. He grabbed his phone, as a kind of insurance, and he paused, before taking it out and opening a simple app. The others got closer, watching him with confused eyes.

“Heads or tails?” he said with a grin, but even he could feel that it was forced. All of them nodded mutely. “Heads we don’t go, tails we go.” Allen gulped and flipped the digital coin. They stared. 

“Well, tails it is,” said Lavi. They nodded again. 

“Okay, let’s get this over with,” grumbled Kanda and he started speed-walking down the hallway, arms crossed and eyes set forward. 

They followed him, silent, and they soon got to a door, dark, made from steel, and Alma was the one who opened it silently, so they could see through a crack and hear everything that was said inside. They had started already, it seemed. And there was a serious argument going on. Allen could feel his hands shaking, but he stuffed them in his pockets again.

“What I don’t understand,” snapped a woman, and Allen frowned when the image of that blond woman appeared in his mind, “is why there are so many Exorcists so suddenly.”

“I would like to know, too,” said another voice, this one younger and seemingly more easygoing. 

“Maybe God has taken pity on us,” said another, this one much older. The first one scoffed. 

“Please, there’s no such thing as God,” she said. “And if there is, then He is by no means on our side anymore.”

“But really, isn’t it a little suspicious?” asked another man and the Exorcists crouched on the floor. Allen gulped. They were talking about them… and it wasn’t a good thing. “Think about it. What if they’re… spies?”

“If they were spies… they would have consequences.” Allen perked up at Komui’s voice. Of course, he was there, he would defend them. But, wasn’t Komui new? “They can’t betray the Innocence’s will.”

“Oh, well, there were exceptions to that rule, weren’t they?” said the younger man and Allen frowned. “In the First Holy War.”

“This war it’s not like the last one,” said the woman and Allen wondered if there were more people there. They only talked the same three people. “But, I agree. It is suspicious.”

“We should be grateful-” started yelling the old man, but another man interrupted him, voice serious, sharp, cutting through the other’s voice, and Allen couldn’t help but to tense. He wasn’t the only one. 

“We will keep an eye on them for the time being,” he said and Allen turned around immediately when he heard a gasp, just in time to see Lenalee freezing, her eyes locked on the door, wide, hands trembling, and he was accurately aware that there was something really wrong. “They shouldn’t be able to betray the Innocence’s will, but if they do, we will have no choice but to take action.” There was a pause and Allen watched as Alma, the one closest to Lenalee, asked her if she was okay, rubbed her shoulder, but she just sat down slowly on the floor, shaking and with her eyes still eerily wide. “It would not be the Innocence’s fault, as sentient as it can be. We can replace the Accommodator. Or maybe even… persuade them to cooperate with us.”

“Oh, yeah, we have some useful methods,” said another voice, too cheerful, and Allen clenched his jaw, eyes moving to the door again. “We’ve used them with some of the Exorcists, they worked quite well, if I do say so myself.”

Allen wanted to throw up. 

“Ah, Miss Epstain, how are the experiments going?” asked the intimidating man, a more relaxed tone to his voice, but what he said didn’t sit well with Allen, it made his stomach churn, he didn’t like where that was going, oh, no, he didn’t like it one bit. 

“We have some problems with some of the subjects,” explained the woman, a rueful tilt to her voice. The man hummed. “Some of them died.” Allen could feel his breath leaving him and he shook, leaning back on the wall. “It was shame, they were near the last stage. But they couldn’t take it. There was a woman that…”

And Allen couldn’t hear anymore, because he stood up straight again and started walking down the hallway, nearly running. He didn’t know where he was going, but he could hear the others following him, Alma was whispering to Lenalee and helping her stand again, Kanda was huffing and Lavi was staring at the floor. 

He didn’t notice until later, but tears were running down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that coming across a penny that has tails turned up means bad luck?  
> Comments? Kudos? Any feedback?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	14. At the Speed of Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summer means I should have more time to write and maybe update more regularly... yeah, I should work on the Big Bang thing.  
> So yeah, the Government is shit and experiments still exist, what's new. We still have a long way to go until what happened in the last war comes to light though, some things need to happen first and we need to see... some other people, yes.

There was something white falling down from the sky. 

White and round. 

He reached out with his hand, tried to touch it.

But, before he could, the world around him fell, it crumbled. 

He could feel pain on his stomach and back and face.

And he woke up, his hand stretched up in front of him, and he frowned when he felt tears running down his face, felt the loneliness clinging to him. 

“Allen!” He jumped when Alma knocked on his door, and he scrambled around, disoriented. “Komui wants to see us!”

“I’ll be there! Give me a minute!” shouted Allen and he shook his head to clear his thoughts. It had been a long while since the last confusing dream and really, he wasn’t even sure of what he’d seen. Something white. Falling from the sky. Maybe, what was it called? Snow?

But he hadn’t seen snow before. Never in his life. He sighed. Another thing in his life that didn’t make sense. 

He got out from his bed and started putting on his uniform, looking at the window from the corner of his eye. They were still in Mars. He couldn’t wait to get out of the red planet, as interesting as its brown skies were and as cool as the buildings there were. They hadn’t started their stay too well. 

Allen had hid himself in some corner that he’d found, at the top of the huge tower, in a corner by the edge of the roof, and he stayed there, staring at Mars’ sky for hours, until he got too hungry and had to move if he wanted some food. When he managed to find the cafeteria, he just grabbed the food and left. It wasn’t as if there was anyone he knew there. There were only uniformed people, people that looked at him with interest, maybe too much interest. Their eyes bore into him, they made him extremely uncomfortable, they put him on edge, and the meeting he’d heard just moments before didn’t help at all. 

The next day he’d managed to find the other members of their little group. Alma was distant and glared at random people around. Kanda was quiet, more than usual, and his hands were nearly always on his sword. Lavi spent more time with Bookman, and Daisya was mostly confused because of their change. 

Lenalee was the one that had changed the most. She was quiet, her gaze far away, and she was extremely tense and alert. She almost punched her brother when he got too close to her from behind. She was really cautious when walking down the hallways of the base, and really, Allen still remembered her reaction to that man in the meeting, so it made sense. He didn’t know how he was in person, but just his voice had made him uneasy in no time. 

He took his breakfast quickly, if only to get out of the cafeteria and the people’s curious gazes, and he made his way to Komui’s temporary office. It was tidier than the previous ones, but it wasn’t saying much. Alma, Lenalee and Kanda were already there, and after Allen sat down on the sofa, Lavi came running through the door with a rushed apology. 

“Okay, this will be your first mission,” said Komui and he looked at each of them, minus Alma, of course, with a guarded expression. Allen could see worry behind his glasses, though. “You will travel to Earth again with The White Arc. You will go to Paris. It seems there’s an Innocence near, so you’ll take it back to Chicago, to give it to Hev.”

“What will you do, brother?” asked Lenalee. Alma and Kanda were the first to stand up, but they lingered at the door, waiting for them, even if Kanda seemed impatient. 

“I’ll stay here.” If Allen had to guess, he’d say that Komui knew that Lenalee was acting weird, and it was definitely a bad thing. Lenalee bit her lip worriedly. “I still have meetings to attend. We’ll meet soon enough, don’t worry.”

When Komui stood up to give her sister a hug, they all went out the door to leave the two siblings alone. It would be, maybe, the first time they separated for a long period of time and in that time, who knew if they would reunite. Allen leaned on the wall and sighed.

“Do you know the guy that scared Lenalee?” asked Lavi suddenly and Allen raised his head immediately. The redhead was staring at Alma, his green eye focused in a way that Allen knew would put whoever was under it nervous and ready to answer.

“I think…” Alma lowered their head, frowning. Then they raised their head, mouth set in a grimace. “I think it was Lvellie.” Lvellie… weren’t they…? “Yes, the powerful family that was involved in the last war too.” Alma smiled, but it was forced, it didn’t reach their dark eyes. “Unsettling, isn’t he?”

_ He is. _

Allen felt as if he knew how that man looked, but he shoved the thought away. He didn’t want to know how someone like that looked, he didn’t even want to know how he sounded like, but it was too late, wasn’t it? God, he knew that the Government wasn’t the best of places, but c’mon, they were cooperating with them, weren’t they? And they had Innocence. But, that part about falling… what was it?

“We can go now,” said Lenalee and Allen blinked. A white figure had appeared in his mind, but it didn’t have time to take shape of anything he might recognize. Lenalee smiled ruefully. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, Lena,” said Alma, their smile more genuine, as they started walking down hallways to the glass tunel that would take them to the landing field. 

They were mostly quiet, if only because they were nervous about their first mission or because they were still unsettled by that meeting two days before. The uniformed man guarding the entrance to the glass platform stopped them before they got in and Lavi mumbled something about not wanting to die in the void and not being that stupid. 

There was a flash and the light-speed spaceship appeared on the platform. The gate above it clanked closed before their gate opened and they hurried to the spaceship. Allen could feel the unease that had been with him the last two days going away as they got closer to the glittering white spaceship, and in its place, excitement rose in him, making him get closer to its wings and examine them with wide eyes. 

“It’s a pleasure to work with you!” said a cheerful voice from the opened gate and Allen turned quickly to it, coming face to face with the same Asian man who had been in change of the spaceship weeks before. Rikei? “Come in, come in.”

They all hurried to the gate, making awed sounds when they saw the wide space inside, all the same white and some grey. It didn’t have many windows; Allen counted three small and narrow windows in the way to the narrow control room. In it they could see the same woman and other man from the previous time, Lou Fa and Shi fu. Lou Fa turned a bright shade of red when she saw Allen. 

All the Exorcists huddled together in one corner, whispering excitedly between them about how they thought the spaceship worked and how it reached light speed. Lavi was tinkering with some buttons by his side and Kanda slapped his hand away at once when he noticed, glaring at him, and he was about to yell at him, but Allen was the one to ram his elbow on his side.

“We’ll take off in one minute,” explained Rikei, now from his seat. 

They had a lot of panels and Allen squinted to see what each of them took care of. Apparently, Rikei was the one who piloted, Shi Fu made sure that everything was stable on the spaceship and Lou Fa was the one who calculated the trajectory and course. 

After that one minute, Rikei made a gesture to the uniformed man by the door, a grin on his face, and Allen crouched to see over the controls, just in time to see the uniformed man saluting back at the spaceship, back straight and face too tense. It almost looked as if he was constipated, and when Allen came to that conclusion, he snorted and sat down again. 

“What happened?” asked Lavi immediately. Allen just shook his head. 

“You should buckle up,” said Shi Fu, and all of them stopped talking with each other to look at him with wide eyes. The man smiled. “It’s a really short ride, but quite dangerous if you’re walking around.”

“Yeah, not fun,” commented Rikei and Allen smiled when he noticed how his voice was pained. He knew that from experience. 

As they moved around, looking for seats with belts, the scientists moved holograms around, Rikei shifted the control pad and Lou Fa pushed her glasses up nervously, looking at the panel in from of her. When Allen was seated and fidgeting with his belt out of excitement, their gazes met and Lou Fa jumped, before turning back to her panel, even redder than before, and Allen worried silently if it was okay for her to be that nervous, before relaxing when he saw the ‘route accepted’ in the panel in from of her. 

“Okay, we’ll start the countdown,” said Shi Fu and all the Exorcists scrambled for their belts again.

“Eh, is it a hard trip?” asked Alma, their voice wavering because of their nervousness. The other Exorcists looked at them, confused. 

“Haven’t you travelled in this?” asked Lavi, tilting his head, and Alma laughed. Their hands shook where they held their staff. 

“Not yet,” they said and that only made Allen more confused. They’d been working for the Government for years and they hadn’t travelled in the spaceship? Weird. 

“It’s fast,” answered Rikei, as he tested the control pad. “Really fast. Your body will feel weird after, but, well… It’s not as bad as breaking slowly through the atmosphere.”

Oh, well. Then it wasn’t that bad… was it? Allen wasn’t really sure, but he couldn’t run out from the spaceship. At least, he couldn’t if he didn’t want to breath in Mars still toxic air and probably pass out or worse. 

He gulped when a cheerful Rikei started the countdown and he tilted his head to his side, watching as Lenalee closed her eyes, Kanda grumbled under his breath, Alma braced themselves against the seat and Lavi focused his eye on the window. Allen sighed when the countdown reached two. There went nothing.

“Okay, let’s go!” shouted Rikei and he slided the control column down brusquely. 

The engines roared to life immediately, but Allen didn’t have time to cover his ears before they got to such a high volume that he couldn’t hear them anymore. The spaceship turned, and it shot upward, with such speed that, when Allen blinked, they were in the void of the space already. He had to close his eyes, because the flurry of white trails made him dizzy. 

It wasn’t that bad, even though he couldn’t really move. He was pressed tightly to his seat, he couldn’t even lift his arms from the soft surface and his neck was starting to hurt. He couldn’t even ask how much time until they got to their destination. 

But something went wrong. 

It was obvious. 

The spaceship turned on itself, it rolled to the side, and everyone shouted. He passed out when something collided with the side of his head.

* * *

 

“Allen!” Somebody was calling him, but he grunted when his eyelids didn’t open. The person grabbed his shoulders and he could feel how he was moved. God, his head hurt. “Allen, c’mon, wake up!”

He grunted again and the person touched the side of his head, brushing away his hair. More voices joined the first and Allen felt more confused. Everything spun and the pain that was just in his head before spread through the rest of his body. The person moved him again and this time he was aware of his position, sat up and hunched forward.

“It isn’t anything serious, right?” asked a voice and Allen frowned, trying to identify whose it was. 

“I don’t think so,” answered another and he was moved again. They leaned him back on something… Something… Where was he?

“What was that?” asked another voice and Allen was trying so hard to recognize them, damn, but it was hard. 

“An Akuma, maybe?” said another voice, nervous, and it was as if a switch had been turned on. 

Akuma, akuma, the spaceship! They’d been travelling in the light-speed spaceship and something happened, because the last thing he remembered was screaming and a hit and then black. 

He made another attempt at opening his eyes and he managed to crack them open slightly. He blinked, hard, and grunted again, tilting his head to the side, before opening them a bit more. People ran to him and it took him some seconds to recognize Rikei, Lavi and Lenalee. 

“Are you okay?” asked Rikei, grabbing his shoulders to keep him upright. Lavi checked him meanwhile, mumbling to himself, and Lenalee looked over them with a worried grimace. 

“What happened?” he rasped and, when Lavi finished, he raised his hand to rub his temple. He hissed and removed his hand, seeing red. It had been a hard hit, then, if he was that disoriented. 

“We crashed,” explained Lenalee, slowly, and she looked to the side. Allen followed her gaze to one of the windows in the side of the spaceship. He noticed that they were tilted to the side. It was no wonder he’d hit his head. “We’re in the Moon. We don’t know what’s out there yet.”

Lenalee gulped and Allen hummed softly. He looked out the window again and smiled weakly as Lavi offered him a plaster. He accepted it and brushed his hair away from his temple to put it on. 

“What do we do now?” asked Kanda from the other side of the narrow room and Allen grimaced when he turned his head too fast in that direction. 

He could see Lou Fa and Shi Fu working under the control pads, mumbling between them, and Alma was staring at their staff, a frown clear on their face. He didn’t see any broken or dented parts, but then again, the room wasn’t that big and they were in serious trouble if the engines or wings were damaged. 

“We need time to get ready for another blast,” said Rikei, looking out of the corner of his eyes to his two companions. He grimaced. “We’ll need, maybe, 15 minutes. And we don’t know what caused the crash. Akuma or Skeleton. It was most definitely a hit, but…”

“We need to go outside,” said Alma, face blank, and they all turned to them. “We need to fight.”

“But how?” asked Lenalee, frowning, and even if she seemed nervous, she hadn’t lost her spark. Like the first time they fought together what seemed like a lifetime ago, in Manchester. 

“We have suits here,” explained Rikei and he pointed to door that led to the hallway. “They adjust to whoever is wearing them, so there’s no problem.”

They nodded and Lavi helped Allen to stand up. He wobbled for a moment on his feet, but he smiled at them and walked confidently to the door. Kanda glared at it when it didn’t open and so, he took hold of its edge and pulled, growling, and the door almost slammed on the wall. Allen sighed. So much to repair later. 

They found the suits in one of the hallways, strapped to the walls, and they hurried to take them and put them on. They were navy blue jumpsuits, with steel soles, collars, bracelets and Allen noticed the protection on its back. They found the oxygen reserves, small containers the size of his hand, and Alma was the one who helped them connect them where they were supposed to go, just a little higher than the jets.

“Are you sure you're fit to battle?” asked Kanda, frowning at the side of his head. Alma glared at him, but he was still uneasy about what awaited them outside, so it lacked part of the usual bite.

“I’ll fight,” he said, confidently, and he could hear how Lenalee sighed behind him. Kanda clicked his tongue.

“Don’t be a bother, then,” he said and turned around, going straight at the door that would lead them to the outside. 

“Wait, Yuu!” said Alma and Kanda turned to them, impatient, hand already gripping his unsheathed blade. “We need a strategy.”

“We don’t even know what’s out there, idiot,” snapped Kanda, and Alma sighed. 

“Yes, but someone should stay here.” Alma looked at all of them, as if telling them to agree with them. “You know, to protect  _ them _ .” They gestured to the control room.

“I’ll stay,” said Lavi and he took a step forward, grinning. His hammer was activated and red sparks cracked around it. “You guys go kick their ass.”

They nodded and Kanda opened the door, after they’d had emptied the room, this time using his blade as a lever. Allen looked around immediately. They were at the Moon, alright, where the ground was a light grey and irregular. There were some rocky hills around them and they could see perfectly where the Moon was cut in half, where the ground disappeared. The Earth, a giant mass of white, grey and some blue, looked small and sick, as if it was dying. It didn’t surprise him too much.

But they couldn’t see anything. 

They were alone.

Kanda was the one who led the group and they all looked around, tense and alert, Innocences ready. Allen couldn’t understand it. Why couldn’t they see anyone? Surely they had crashed because an Akuma or even an equipped Skeleton hit them, but there was nothing but rocks and dust. 

It was difficult to move in zero gravity and Allen kept stumbling, before falling slowly to the ground. He didn’t like it too much, he preferred when he could control his falls, thank you very much.

“There’s nothing here,” said Kanda, obviously in a bad mood, and really, Allen could understand him. 

“Well, better for us then,” said Alma and Allen was surprised at their nonchalant voice and expression. He frowned at them. “Oh, c’mon, it isn’t unusual for them to attack and then disappear.”

“But we should see some kind of sign, right?” asked Lenalee, shuffling on her feet. Her eyes were still scanning the area, like Kanda, and Allen was still tense, his left hand ready to activate. 

“Not really,” answered Alma, this time impatient themselves, and Kanda huffed, moving his blade. Alma shrugged. “We can explore a little bit further, but it isn’t necessary.”

“We can’t leave them alone,” said Allen, gesturing to the spaceship some meters away. Lavi was capable, he knew that, but it could be a trap and really, as strong as Lavi was, he had to protect the scientists and too many enemies only made that harder and harder. 

“We could return to the ship,” said Lenalee and, well, that was the only option they had, right?

Still, something was wrong. 

Allen could feel it, and he could see that his companions did too, if he had to guess by Kanda’s still activated Innocence, Alma’s strong grip on his staff and how Lenalee stomped on the ground. 

It was when they got to the spaceship when Allen caught something out of the corner of his good eye. He turned his head towards that area, ignoring the dizziness it caused, and clenched his jaw. There was something…

“Down!” yelled Kanda and Allen did so quickly, pressing his back to the ship’s wall, eye still locked in the black mass running towards them, leaving a dust trails after it. There was an explosion near them and Allen had to squint to see the black mass again. 

“Akuma…?” he mumbled to himself. “Or Skeleton…?”

“What going on out there?” asked Lavi’s worried voice from his communicator and Allen stood up slowly, activating his Innocence with just a quick thought. 

“Akuma,” answered Alma, serious, and Allen looked around, trying to locate all of them through the dust, before the Akuma caught out to them. 

There was a strong gust of wind and Allen could see Alma from the corner of his good eye, clearing away the dust with their feathered spear. The Akuma was closer and Allen could see its legs, covered in spikes, and a long tail. Great, a Level Three. 

“There are more over there,” shouted Lenalee and Allen blinked for a moment, looking around, until he saw her in the air, red sparks around her legs. 

From the other side, more Akuma were running towards them, some of them too fast, and he slipped on the sand and dust when he forgot about the low gravity in the Moon. 

He was about to ask them which Akumas each of them would fight, when the decision was made for him when the lone Akuma leaped at him, legs ready to kick him. He waited for a moment, because the low gravity was sure to be a problem for the Akuma, and he readied his claw by his side. 

_ Just a little more… _

The Akuma took him by surprise when the speed of his fall increased suddenly and Allen wasn’t quick enough to dodge in time. He fell slowly to the ground and he kicked the rocks to get much needed distance between him and the machine, gritting his teeth at the crack on the side of his helmet. The helmet was something he couldn’t break or lose, and the Akuma knew that perfectly well. It was grinning at him. 

“I’ll take care of this one,” he growled and he kicked the ground again when the Akuma’s tail aimed at him. 

Low gravity was a hassle and Allen decided quickly that he didn’t like fighting in it. It was hard to control where his body would land and he had to think carefully when touching the ground and moving, something that required time, which was the one thing he didn’t have, because the Akuma was extremely fast, even in low gravity. Allen soon learned why; the Akuma had nailed its own legs on the ground and it was using mostly its tail to attack him. 

_ Oh, that’s a pretty good idea, actually. _

Allen kicked the ground again, spinning in the air, and he whipped his cape towards the ground. The feathered spikes dug into the ground, anchoring him, and he grinned when he saw how the Akuma seemed to glare at him. He whipped the other side of the cape at it and, even if it managed to stop the spikes before they pierced it, Allen could use them to enclose its arm and use them to gain momentum. The Akuma understood it, of course, but when it moved its arm, Allen spun in the air a few times, frowning, and he focused on the Akuma and its movements, before he saw an opening and, when it made another swiping gesture, Allen rocketed towards it, claw ready.

It stopped his claw with its tail and it grinned at him, arrogant. Allen frowned.

“You know, the Earl seems really intrigued by you,” said the Akuma, its metallic voice only making Allen tense even more. And there was it again, that Earl person. “He asked 'why are you here?'.”

“Why am I here?” he repeated, confused. The Akuma widened his grin. “What are you talking about?”

“You aren’t supposed to be here,” said the Akuma and hell, that didn’t explain anything. 

_ Of course I’m not supposed to be here, I was supposed to go to Earth for a mission. _

But he was quite sure that it wasn’t that what the Akuma and that Earl person meant, and that only made him even more confused. He twisted and he managed to kick the Akuma in its middle, before twisting again and, even if he couldn’t see out of his left eye, he was pleased when he didn’t miss and he cut its arms off. 

“Allen, look out!” shouted Lenalee from his communicator and he gripped his cape firmly, kicking the ground again and twisting in the air, just in time to dodge an incoming Akuma that collided with his opponent at high speed. 

The other Akuma was already destroyed, but the one that had been fighting with him wasn’t. Allen took advantage of the fact that it was immobilized under the heavy body of the other Akuma and he whipped his cape at it again, letting his feathers pierce the metallic body in various places. 

“The ship is ready to go, gang!” shouted Lavi and Allen fell slowly back to the ground. 

He looked around, just in time to see how Kanda and Alma destroyed the last Akuma in a flurry of feathers and blue lightning. He sighed. 

When they got in the ship and they closed the door again, the cabin filled with oxygen again. Allen took off his helmet, wincing when the steel borders grazed the wound on the side of his head. He examined the crack on the glass. He’d been really lucky for once, because it had been really close to breaking. Another hit on it or close to it would have shattered the glass and he’d have lost all oxygen in him and worse things that he really didn’t want to think about.

“So…” Allen raised his head, watching as Lavi leaned on the door with arms crossing on his chest, a grin in his freckled face. “How was fighting in space?”

“Horrible,” said Allen and he left the helmet on a corner, passing by Lavi when he went back to the control room. 

He didn’t bother changing into his uniform again, he was tired and ready to break through the Earth atmosphere at light speed. It surprised him somewhat that he missed Earth’s grey skies and tall buildings with its artificial grass and overworked engineers.

Yeah, he couldn’t wait to be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Battle in space? Battle in space. You can't stop me.  
> Here's the inspiration for the suit, if you want: https://www.deviantart.com/zaryuta/art/Space-suit-178905461  
> Comments? Kudos? What do you guys think of this?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	15. Imaginary Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hi! My life just took a 180º turn for what i hope is the better and this chap is on the long side, so I'm pretty happy right now, yep. Also, things will get more interesting from now on and I'll give more spotlight to a character who... didn't have much spotlight in the manga itself?? But he managed to get it here somehow???  
> Anyway, thank you *so much* for the comments, they really motivate me to keep going, and I hope you enjoy!

The re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere was more violent than when they entered Mars’, but Allen didn’t have too much time to worry about that, because they were still going at light-speed. 

When the thick cloud of pollution cleared away and the spaceship slowed down to a less extreme speed, Allen blinked and twisted to look through the window. He’d never been to Paris before, which was weird, considering how much he’d travelled around. 

Paris was bigger than New Delhi, its buildings even higher and darker and the city had less parks. Allen watched as the spaceship turned slightly and they continued descending until he could see a landing field just below them. The three pilots exchanged short commands and they twisted in the air until they could land. 

Allen rubbed shortly at his temple and hissed softly when it stung, retreating his hand immediately. The light-speed only made his heart hurt more and he was dizzy. He wanted to sleep, but he knew that, even if they had fought just moments before, they still had a mission to complete. 

“Okay, we’re here,” said Rikei, voice tired but mostly relaxed. 

“Ah, Lena, are you alright?” asked Lavi as they stood up from their seats and Lenalee stumbled. Allen was quick to turn to her. Had she been injured in the fight?

“Ah, well, I got a cut on my leg,” she said with a rueful smile. Lavi shook his head. “It’s alright, I’m okay.”

Allen moved closer to them, just in time to hear Lavi mutter about “reckless idiots” and he smiled softly. Lou Fa and Shi Fu stayed on the ship, waving at them and wishing them good luck as they walked towards the gate that would lead them to the outside. They still had their spacesuits on, but Rikei was fast to push them out the door with their uniforms on their arms. 

“We need to get the ship ready for the next blast,” said Rikei when they were out again. Allen noticed how everyone was breathing deeply, himself included. The air in Paris wasn’t as clean as in New Delhi or Chicago, but it was natural air nonetheless, so it was a nice change from the canned oxygen they breathed on the station or even on Mars. “It was nice meeting you guys, I hope we see each other again.”

It was in those moments when the reality of their situation hit them in the face. Who knew if they would meet each other again, alive. The Exorcists fought a lot, and the scientists piloted an important asset of the Government, a light-speed spaceship, and that was sure to get them in trouble. Allen sure hoped they’d meet again, he liked them. 

“Ah, sir Exorcists,” called a man from behind them and they turned just as the gate to the ship closed with a soft clank. The man, uniformed like everyone Allen met nowadays, seemed nervous. “We need to discuss your mission.”

“Weren’t we supposed to pick up an Innocence?” asked Alma, a frown on their face. Allen fidgeted with the uniform on his hands. Did something happen?

“Eh, well, yeah, but…” started the man and Allen only became even more worried with the situation. The man sighed. “It was stolen.”

“Stolen?” repeated Kanda, a scowl on his face, and the man gulped.

“Yes, we believe so.” Allen tilted his head. “It’s just… gone.”

It sounded really similar to what happened with him more than a month ago. It seemed a lifetime ago to him, with everything that happened in between. So much in his life had changed and he was still debating with himself if it was for the better. At least, he was learning things about himself that he didn’t know about before. Would he find  _ that _ person? 

“Let’s go inside,” said Alma after some awkward seconds of silence, and they all started walking towards the steel stairs that would led them to the Government’s base in Paris. 

It was just the same as the other two he’d seen before, but it didn’t have any parks around. It was too grey, it was almost depressing. They walked down too white hallways, windows that showed the big city with its tall buildings, and Allen had to fight down the urge to run away, climb something and stay there to relax. 

They changed into their uniforms again while the man got all his companions on the conference room they’d use to explain what happened and Allen sighed softly. He sunk in one of the chairs and crossed his arms. He wanted to go back to Chicago and he hadn’t even been in Paris for an hour. There was just something that didn’t sit well with him in that base. Maybe it was the too white light and how silent it was. 

“We had it in the usual capsules we use when we find some Innocence,” explained the man, fidgeting with the pen in his hand. “And, when we went to retrieve it to give it to you, it was gone.”

“So, you think it was stolen?” asked Kanda, brusquely, and Lenalee closed her fingers around his arm firmly. Allen frowned. Yeah, it was similar to what happened in New Delhi. 

“It happened something similar to me,” he said after a moment and the man brightened quickly. “In New Delhi. The Innocence disappeared and then it turned out again when it chose me.”

“So, it could be another Exorcist?” asked Lenalee, a frown on her face. Allen could see why she was that uneasy. They’d just heard the higher ups arguing about how they were not to be trusted because it was weird for so many Exorcists to turn up at the same time.

“It could be,” said Alma and Allen tilted his head to watch them, brushing away his hair. “Or it could have been stolen.”

The bad part about it was that they couldn’t know which option was the real one, so it was like they were running around blindly. They split in three groups. Alma went on their own, as they were a experienced Exorcist, and Kanda teamed up with Lenalee so they wouldn’t have a disagreement that led into a violent fight between them, which was what happened if Kanda went with Lavi or Allen. And so, Allen teamed up with Lavi. 

“Should we go to the shelter?” asked Lavi and Allen startled. Lavi shrugged, uncomfortable. “I mean, this is a city, not a town, so there isn’t a dark part where we can ask around.” 

“The shelter, uh…” mumbled Allen to himself and paused. Lavi stopped with him, looking around at the people passing by them with a careful eye. Allen shook his head. “I don’t think the people there would know about it. If it has been stolen, the thief must be out of our reach by now.”

“Yeah, but, if they’re smart, they would have used the shelter to get out of here,” explained Lavi. But even so…

“Still, people at the shelters won’t be able to tell us anything.” Allen sighed again and kept on walking. Lavi opened his mouth to say something else, but Allen was faster. “People come and go all the time. That’s why the shelters are the best places to hide, because they don’t care about strangers. And they are suspicious of people with expensive clothes.” 

Lavi hummed softly behind him as they walked, looking around at each person, and  Allen soon lost himself in his thoughts, trying to find some sort of feeling that would tell him if it really was another Exorcist. His instincts were rarely wrong, something that he was learning very fast in his fights. But, as the day became darker and darker and the curfew began getting closer, he was more and more sure that it had been stolen. 

“You know, you could have been killed,” said Lavi, a grin on his face, voice too cheerful for the words he’d said. Allen blinked and frowned at him. 

“What are you talking about?” he asked. A familiar feeling appeared in his stomach, and he rubbed his eyes. 

“You know Akuma can take the form of a human, right?” said Lavi and his grin dimmed. Allen nodded. “What if an Akuma had been hiding and it attacked us? Your reflexes are good, really good, but you wouldn’t have been able to stop the attack.”

Allen paused and turned completely to look at him, still frowning, but there was something so familiar about this, about the words that spilled out of his friend’s mouth, that made his mind reel and scramble. He could swear there was something white around them, something that he’d seen before… what was it, snow? Again? No, but it wasn’t the same, was it? 

He touched the plaster on the side of his face, and looked at Lavi, who still had that same grin, the same sadness behind it, and hold on, when was Lavi that much taller than him? 

_ That’s not right. _

He blinked and he was in the present again. There was no snow, the plaster didn’t cover his eye, his eye that was blind, and Lavi wasn’t that much taller than him. The redhead was still looking at him, waiting for a reaction, something, and Allen sighed. He’d… really been out of it there. It had been a while.

“I’m sorry,” he said and he smiled and Lavi grinned again, his eye maybe a little warmer. 

“Don’t be such a reckless idiot,” said the redhead and he laughed, reaching out to ruffle his hair. Allen slapped his hand away, but he was somewhat surprised when he noticed how he hadn’t flinched away from the redhead in the first place. “Lena will yell at you and Kanda will pick on you about how stupid you’re.”

“Well, he’s one to talk,” said Allen and he turned around again, walking again. “He’s stupid himself.”

Lavi only laughed out loud. 

They returned to the base just before the curfew. Alma was lounging on the common room by himself and when they told each other what they had found, Allen wasn’t that surprised when Alma hadn’t managed to find anything useful. Lenalee and Kanda turned up a little latter with the same news. 

“What should we do then?” asked Lenalee, and the others shrugged. She sighed.

“Maybe we could call your brother,” said Alma and Lenalee perked up. Allen leaned back and crossed his legs, muffling a yawn behind his hand. 

“I’ll call him,” she said after a moment and she got up, going to the panel that would turn on the hologram. She connected her phone to it and tinkered with it a moment, before the hologram lit up, a light blue color, and Allen stared at the little circle that moved around and the letters that read ‘calling’. It chirped and Lenalee was fast to call, “are you there, brother?”

“Lenalee?” asked the voice of Komui, tired. Lenalee gave a soft ‘yes’. “Did something happen? Wait, hold on.”

The black turned white in a second and Allen blinked, trying to clear his vision. Komui brushed his hair back with his hand. He was still wearing his uniform, which made sense, since Mars’ days were longer. 

They summarized their little light-speed travel, the fight in the Moon and what happened to the Innocence, and, while Komui looked worried, he still kept his head clear and got up from his seat to pace around his cluttered office. 

“What do we do, Komui?” asked Kanda, impatient. Komui raised his head with a sigh.

“Go to Chicago tomorrow,” he said at last, and Allen couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow. “If the Innocence has really been stolen, then it’s not really your duty to clean after them. I’ll call a craft over there tomorrow so you return to Chicago. You could have a mission soon, we can’t lose time in this.”

“Will you go to Chicago too?” asked Lenalee and Komui smiled softly to her.

“I’ll go as soon as I can, which shouldn’t be too long,” answered Komui and he sighed. Lenalee smiled at him. 

“I’ll see you then, brother,” she said and she stood up to disconnect the phone from the panel. Komui bid them good luck and Lenalee grabbed her phone, making the hologram disappear in a flash. 

“Okay, you’ve heard him,” said Alma with a deep sigh and they stretched their arms above their head. 

The workers at the base were quick to lead them their rooms, and Allen was even faster to change into his pyjamas and get into bed after getting a look at the cut on his temple. It wasn’t that bad, but he wondered if he could find some painkillers the next day. 

Sleep didn’t come easy for him that night, even if he was tired. His thoughts didn’t let him calm down enough to sleep, and he kept running over what the three Akuma he’d fought had said to him. Akuma didn’t really talk, did they? Then why did they tell him that? The words themselves didn’t make sense, either, and he just got even more confused. 

But there was one thing that he was sure of. He needed to find out who that Earl person was. 

He woke up cranky, but he made sure to eat plenty to cheer himself up. They had to take a craft again and really, it wasn’t that he didn’t like travelling, but his body wasn’t used to breaking through atmospheres daily. 

He didn’t know where his companions were, and he was quite sure that Lavi was still sleeping, but the other three were usually early risers like himself. He debated with himself about calling them with his phone, but he shrugged and set to the landing field, hoping to find them there. 

“Ah, Allen, is Lavi still sleeping?” asked Lenalee as soon as he got to the hill. A craft was already there and uniformed people were arguing about something next to it. 

“I think so,” he said and Lenalee sighed. Kanda growled and he started walking to the stairs. Allen arched an eyebrow.

“Try not to kill him, will you?” he said and Kanda only raised his hand to point his middle finger to him. Allen huffed. What a jerk.

“Do you think we’ll get a new mission soon?” asked Lenalee after they’d sat down near the craft, watching the people run around, preparing the trip. Allen shrugged. Really, that had been, technically, their first mission and yet, it had been ridiculous. No Innocence, and they had been attacked by Akuma on the Moon. It was just great.

“Maybe,” said Alma and Allen tilted his head to see them. They had their dark eyes locked on their staff. 

Allen was tempted to ask them about that  Earl person right there and then, but he held back. He had to wait. Wait until they were all of them together, until they were in a safer place. If it was as important as he believed, then it would be better if they could discuss the matter in a place where the Government couldn’t hear them. The fact that they hadn’t told them anything about that bothered him and made him even more suspicious of the organization they were fighting for. 

Lavi and Kanda turned up a while latter, and Allen grinned when he saw how Lavi was yelling at the other man, hand trying to tidy his uniform. 

“What did he do this time?” asked Allen as soon as they got closer and Lavi interrupted himself to frown at him. 

“He broke the goddamn door and almost hit me with it,” grumbled the redhead and he only glared at Allen when he started laughing. “It’s not funny, Allen.”

“It is,” said Alma and Lavi turned to glare at them. Alma smiled slightly. “I mean, maybe a little.”

The people from the craft called to them and they moved, slowly, to the vehicle. It wasn’t that big, compared to the big spaceships they’d travelled in, but it was the same glittering white and silver, with its wide windows, just as Allen remembered them. 

They made a beeline to the control room and to the usual sofas. The trip would be fast, but not as fast as when they travelled at light-speed, of course. Allen found himself looking over the windows and the pilots around, feeling nostalgic. He remembered how confused and unsure he’d been the first time he’d gotten on one of those. It had been a little over a month and yet, so much had changed in his life. He wondered where Cross was, but he brushed the thought away. He didn’t need to be worried about that man.

“Wanna play, Allen?” asked Lavi and Alma. Allen still couldn’t understand why they were that obsessed with that game, but well. 

“Sure,” he said and Alma was quick to hand him a controler. Kanda huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

Even if he’d already seen how they took off before, he still paused the game when the engines became inaudible for them and the craft started rocketing through the thick pollution of Paris. Allen locked his eyes on the Moon. It was weird; they’d been there just the day before. The craft turned to the side and Allen soon returned to the game after watching the void of black for a couple of minutes. He wondered if it was a good thing that he couldn’t see Mars. 

They ignored the landing, hurrying to finish the game before they had to get off the craft, and Allen grinned widely when he managed to cheat his way through to victory. Lavi glared at him, but Alma only laughed. 

Chicago’s base hadn’t changed at all while they had been away and Allen felt another pang of nostalgia. They climbed down the steel stairs calmly, talking about the game or how the air had changed since a month before or what they should do. Allen stopped them just before they got in the building.

“I need to talk with you,” he said and they all frowned, confused, at his serious voice. Allen looked pointedly at Alma. “Do you know somewhere safe?”

Alma nodded and gestured for them to follow them. He could feel how they stared at him, surprised and even worried. But he kept walking forward. He would tell them soon enough, about the thing that he was starting to think could change some things in that war. 

The scientists waved at them with wide smiles, at least those who knew them better, because most of them just stared at them and whispered among themselves. It still got on Allen’s nerves, but he was starting to get used to it. He didn’t know if he was okay with that. 

Alma led them into a steel walkway and they descended some stairs until they were in some kind of storehouse. They were surrounded by glass containers that only had liquids in them, some of them rocks, and metal crates. They huddled behind some of them and Allen leaned back on a crate, sighing. 

“What did you want to talk about?” asked Lenalee, worried. Lavi grinned, but his eye was too curious and focused. 

“What was so important that we needed to hide?” asked Kanda, arms crossed, but Allen could tell that he was interested. The one that seemed the more nervous was Alma and Allen didn’t know what to think about that. 

“I need to ask you something,” he said and all of them nodded slowly. 

“Is it about… about the feeling?” asked Lenalee. Allen was about to nod, but he frowned and shrugged. 

“The feeling?” repeated Alma and Allen cringed. They hadn’t said anything about that to Alma, had they? What should they do? 

While Alma seemed like a clear ally to them, they didn’t want to get into trouble and that topic was sure to do so if it got to  _ their _ ears. Alma had been an Exorcist for various years and, even if they clearly despised them, they could still say something, they could slip and, if the higher ups were suspicious of them now, who could say what they would do if they knew? 

He looked around at his companions, waiting for someone to say something. Should they explain or just change the topic? 

“It’s… something that happened three years ago,” started Lenalee with a sigh. Then she frowned. “Well, it still happens… doesn’t it?” 

They all nodded and Allen could see how Alma frowned, how they reached for their staff, because they always did that when they were unsure about something. He could feel how his shoulders tensed. Would they do something?

“What kind of… feeling?” asked Alma and their hands took hold of the staff. 

“It’s like… some kind of deja vu,” explained Lenalee, eyes locked on the staff. Allen moved slightly. “Like we know… a place, someone, something, and we don’t know what causes it.  At least, not yet.”

“Kind of… what I felt when…” said Alma and they looked at Kanda shortly, before lowering their head. Allen perked up. 

“You felt it too?” he asked, hurriedly, and he gripped his crossed legs. Did that mean that Alma was one of them too?

“I felt like I knew Yuu, when we met at…” he said, but he interrupted himself with a grimace. Kanda huffed, or sighed, Allen wasn’t sure, but it was clear that Kanda didn’t want any part of his past in the open. He could understand that. “Anyway, yes, I know that feeling.” Alma frowned. “I didn’t think anyone felt it too, so I didn’t say anything for years.” Alma paused and they all waited. They had something else to say, it seemed. “I felt it again… but only with one of you.” Allen’s blood ran cold. Did he mean…? Alma raised his head again and his dark eyes locked on him. “It was with you.”

Allen blinked, but then he just sighed. Of course, it made sense. He’d had that feeling when he met him too. 

“What did you feel when you saw me?” he asked, because he needed to know if he was just overthinking things and the sadness he’d felt the first time, and still felt from time to time, was just his mind playing more tricks on him. 

“Gratitude,” answered Alma, almost immediately and Allen startled. Of all the things… “and maybe some bitterness. I… don’t know why, though.” Alma frowned. “Did you feel something the first time we met too?”

“Yeah,” he said and he gulped, locking his gaze with Alma’s. “Sadness. And a feeling of guilt.” Alma frowned and Allen coughed lightly. “But that isn’t what I wanted to talk about.”

“What was it then?” asked Kanda. 

“I wanted to ask you all…” started Allen and he took a deep breath. He didn’t want them to think he was crazy. “Did any Akuma speak to you?” 

“Akuma?  Speak to us?” repeated Lavi and Allen nodded, nervous. It made even less sense when he said it like that. “Appart from the ‘I will kill you’ thing?” Allen nodded again. Lavi shook his head. “Not once.”

They all shook his head and Allen sighed tiredly. Why was it always him?

“Did any Akuma speak to you?” asked Lenalee and Allen raised his head, noticing her worry. He nodded. “What did it say?”

“That’s another thing I wanted to talk about,” he said. “It has happened to me more than once. And everytime, they mentioned the same person. At least, I guess it’s a person.”

“A person?” repeated Kanda, a frown clear on his face. Allen nodded. Alma hummed. 

“Did they say a name?” they asked, voice curious, and Allen found himself hopeful.

“They mentioned an ‘Earl’,” he said and debated with himself about saying anything more. “One Akuma said that the Earl had seen me and, on the Moon, another said that I wasn’t supposed to be there… or maybe it meant us. I’m not too sure.”

There was a silence between them and Allen looked around. Kanda and Lenalee looked completely confused, but he was sure that he’d seen something there, in their eyes, when he’d mentioned the ‘Earl’. Alma looked thoughtful and Lavi was staring at the floor with such intensity that Allen had hope that both of them knew something. Something, just a clue, something that confirmed the existence of that person called ‘the Earl’. 

“There isn’t anything about any Earl on the official documents,” said Alma in a low voice and Allen grimaced. 

“In the official documents,” said Lavi, and all of them turned to him. He didn’t raise his head, his red hair shadowing his rare serious face. “But there are more documents, and we all know how they can easily manipulate the official ones.”

“Do you know something about it?” asked Alma, a frown on their face, and, when Lavi raised his head, he was grinning. 

“I don’t,” he said and Allen sighed. But the redhead continued, “but I know where we can find information about it. I’m not a Bookman for nothing. And that looks like something worth looking over, so yeah, I’m in.”

Allen smiled when all of them nodded with him. 

They were making progress and, who knew, maybe they could find some answers to the mysteries that chased them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lavi thinks he knows what he's doing and Alma jumps on the feels train, what could go wrong? Also, foreshadowing? I don't know her.  
> Comments? Kudos? Lemme know what you think!  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	16. Football

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chap was supposed to be so much shorter and then it got out of hand... Oh well.  
> Talk/mention of drugs ahead, just in case!  
> Next chap something BIG will happen, so stay tunned. Enjoy!

“Gramps is away on a mission,” said Lavi with a wide grin. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for  _ weeks _ .”

Allen shuffled his feet, nervous, and he looked both ways for the hundredth time, just in case. Lavi was crouched down, trying various passwords to his mentor’s room. He’d been at it for ten minutes, and Allen and Lenalee were getting extremely nervous. It wasn’t that a lot of people passed by that hallway, quite the opposite, people avoided it because it was where the Exorcists stayed, but really, they were in plain sight. 

When Lavi had said that he knew where to look up information, Allen expected a secret archive of some sort, maybe a library in the city. Everything but his mentor’s room. So it was no wonder he was that uncomfortable. 

“Can you go  _ faster _ ?” asked Lenalee, but to Allen, it sounded more like a snap. He didn’t blame her. Lavi huffed.

“I’m on it, geez, it’s not like they’re going to see us.” Allen rolled his eyes at the redhead and fiddled with his phone. Would he had been faster than the redhead? Then again, hacking a lock of one of his comrade’s room didn’t sit well with him. He could do it, but… old Bookman was scary. “Aha!”

The door opened and Allen yelped when Lenalee sprung up and grabbed both their arms, dragging them in the room and closing the door with her foot. Allen stumbled and knocked over a stack of… something. It spilled all over the floor and he froze, trying to see something in the dark, but, as good as he was seeing in the dark, he couldn’t make out the shapes. 

“Ah, hell, Lena, you didn’t have to drag us,” huffed Lavi and Allen heard him feeling the wall, searching for the switch. Lenalee grumbled something that Allen couldn’t understand before the light was turned on. 

Allen blinked, disoriented because of the sudden light, and he rubbed his eyes. He looked down and his shoulders fell as he saw the papers on the floor. Bookman had the same perfect memory as Lavi, maybe even better, he was sure that the old man would know that someone had been on his room. 

“Oh, lemme organize that,” said Lavi and Allen jumped. He frowned at the redhead. He only grinned. “I organized these myself, I know how to put them back as they were.”

“We’ll search for something about… the Earl,” said Lenalee and she took a careful step over another stack of papers. Really, Bookman’s room wasn’t that different from Lavi’s. 

Allen moved around the room carefully, reading some of the papers in hopes of finding  _ something _ . In the two weeks they’d been at Chicago, he hadn’t had another of those weird dreams and sometimes he’d found himself thinking that, maybe, he  _ wanted _ to get them. They gave him a feeling of nostalgia, and he wasn’t sure that he liked it, but, if he payed attention to them, maybe he could get some information, something that could help them  _ know _ . 

“To be honest…” said Lavi and Allen sighed when he left another stack of papers on the desk. Nothing. “I don’t know where he could have put something like this... “

Lavi kept muttering to himself and Allen walked over to the bed, sitting on it and sighing. They couldn’t find  _ anything _ . There was nothing on the topic, and they had looked on the official papers, on web pages they had hacked, where they had found some pages of radical theories, and on more documents. But, no matter where they looked, they couldn’t find anything about the Earl or the people who controlled the Akuma and Skeletons. 

“Are you sure that there’s nothing in these?” asked Lenalee, voice still hopeful, but when Lavi shook his head, she sighed and fell on the bed beside Allen. “What can we do…?”

“Wait!” Both Allen and Lenalee jumped at Lavi’s cry and they frowned at his excited face. The redhead dived for the desk and moved the chair to the side. Allen frowned, confused. 

“Have you finally lost your mind?” he asked and scrambled to catch a sharp pencil that was thrown at his head. 

“I just remembered…” said Lavi and Allen snickered when the redhead slammed his head on the desk when he tried to get under it. “Last year… yes, last year. He told me about the last generation of Exorcists. From the First War. I’m pretty sure that he’s something around… and where would I not look?”

Lavi started hitting the table and Allen tilted his head to the side, meeting Lenalee’s glance, and both of them frowned. Did their friend actually lose his mind? 

Lavi started laughing after some seconds and he slammed his head on the table again when he scrambled back. Allen and Lenalee got up quickly, going to him with wide eyes, as the redhead raised his hand up in the air, clutching some papers. 

“Are these…?” mumbled Allen and took them from Lavi’s hand. 

“Pretty sure, yeah,” said the redhead, a wide grin on his face. Lenalee held her hand out to help him get up without slipping on the papers thrown around. Lavi pointed at the papers again. “We’ll scan them, so the old Panda doesn’t notice that we know anything because of these.”

Allen nodded and handed them back to Lavi, who got out his vibrant orange phone from his jacket’s pocket. His eye was still locked on the title of the first page. “The First Holy War and its secrets”. His heart started beating faster. They would know about what was going on… right?

Lavi held his phone in one hand and the documents in the other, scanning them in a few seconds, before crouching under the table to hide them again. Allen moved carefully to the door, opening it just a crack. He peeked outside, a bit nervous again. They couldn’t afford to get caught, even if Lavi had a good excuse to tell. Bookman would know. 

“Where should we go to take a look?” asked Lenalee and Allen looked around before opening the door all the way and getting out. He gestured to them to follow him out of the room. 

“Well…” hummed Lavi, locking the door again. It felt like he’d done so a lot of times, but, even so, Allen bit his lip and took a few steps down the hall. “We could go to your room, Lena. Komui is not here yet, is he?”

“And he won’t be for a while,” sighed Lenalee. Allen looked at her, a little worried. Lenalee had been more than three weeks away from her brother for the first time in years. It was no wonder she was restless. “Okay, you can come to my room.”

She picked up the pace, leading them to her door, which was by the end of the hall. Allen hadn’t been there too much, if only because they were all really private and they were busy training. The attack on the Moon had rattled them more than they let on to the other staff working at the base, so they focused on improving their fighting, understand how their Innocence worked better with each of them. And, in Allen’s case, try to trigger the dreams. It was something he never expected to seek, and yet, when he wanted to have those dreams, they didn’t come to him.

“Are Kanda and Alma returning anytime soon?” asked Lavi while Lenalee closed the door of her room after them. 

“Not really,” she said, her mouth on a thin line. She was usually the one who kept up with their friend’s missions. All of them knew it was because she was extremely worried for them, so they tried to humor her when they could. They could understand. “Alma said that they had no luck, so they were moving further North. Maybe the Innocence was around that area, but they weren’t sure.”

Lavi sat on the bed, followed by Lenalee, and Allen settled himself on the office chair, checking his phone. Not long after their return from Mars, they had made a group chat, something that Allen had never had before, which had made him nervous and awkward at first. He soon got the hang of it, though, and they usually used the chat to update the others about how their missions went. 

As Lavi set up his phone on the bed to watch the scans, Allen fidgeted with his cardigan’s sleeve. He didn’t know if he wanted to have a mission. Missions usually meant moving around,  _ do something _ , but they also meant  _ extreme danger _ , so Allen found himself feeling conflicted most of the time. 

“Okay… we know this part…” mumbled Lavi, as he scrolled down the part which talked about the Innocence and its origin. They had already read about it on the official documents and really, it didn’t look like anything was different. “Uh… something about the Earl… c’mon…”

Allen jumped when someone knocked on the door and Lavi swore, blocking the phone. Lenalee frowned and got up to open the door. Allen leaned forward to see who it was, shoulders tense and hands half hidden under the long sleeves of his blue cardigan. He relaxed when he saw it was Daisya, grinning, dark eyes bright. 

“Hey, Lena, Allen, Lavi!” he waved at them and Lenalee looked back at them with a small smile before turning back to the other Exorcist. 

“What do you need, Daisya?” asked Lenalee, and Allen tilted his head when Lavi laughed. 

“Yeah, you’re not part of our cool group!” he said and Daisya wasted no time in raising his middle finger at him over Lenalee’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, you can send an application, but, y’know, this gang is really exclusive and after what you’ve just done, I’m not sure you’ll get in, mate.”

“Fuck off, Bookman,” laughed Daisya and Lenalee moved aside to let him enter the room while she chuckled. Daisya walked over to Allen with a thin smile. “Allen, we have a mission. Melbourne. With Marie.”

“Oh,” was all that came out of his mouth and he could see how Lavi grimaced behind Daisya. He looked up at Daisya. “When and where do we take off?”

“In half an hour,” said  Daisya, eyes up, making it obvious that he was trying to remember everything. “Platform… 45, I think.”

“You think,” snorted Lavi and Daisya turned to glare at him. Lavi raised his hands. 

“I’ll be there,” interrupted Allen with a small smile. Daisya gave him a thumbs up and walked out the door, not before throwing a paper ball at Lavi. Allen sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just my luck.”

“It’s okay,” reassured Lenalee with a small smile. Allen could see the worry behind it, though. He hoped Komui would return soon, if only to calm his sister down. They all still had a long way to go in the war… he hoped. 

“Ah, well, we can read something,” said Lavi with a grin and Allen huffed something that sounded like a laugh. 

“You can tell me what you have figured out when I come back,” he said and he stood up, stretching his arms up with a low grunt. Lenalee’s smile became more genuine at his words. 

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” said Lavi and raised his hand for a high five. 

Allen turned to use his right hand, because he didn’t want to hurt Lavi and he still wasn’t that comfortable with his red hand, so he prefered to keep it mostly hidden by too long sleeves or, sometimes, even gloves. The problem was that not many people used gloves, so he stood out when he wore them. He was still figuring out which was better. Stand out because of wearing gloves, or because his hand (and arm) weren’t exactly… normal. 

Lenalee did hug him briefly before he went out of the room, and Allen allowed her, smiling softly and muttering that he would be back in no time. He knew he was making empty promises, and it hurt him to do so, but what was he supposed to say?

He took his bag, after taking out something that he was sure he wouldn’t need for the mission. Melbourne was in what was Australia quite a few years ago, so its hot climate had become even hotter. They were near June, so it was Autumn… oh, it wouldn’t be  _ that _ hot, but, well. He changed into his uniform after a pause and a huff. 

He made sure to get going to the platform early, because he needed to take into account the time he would be lost or nearly lost. He did stare confusedly at two hallways that were exactly the same, but he managed to find the platform he was supposed to be at just in time. 

He handed his bag to a uniformed man that was waiting by the craft, shuffling his feet and looking around with nervous eyes, and he walked quickly up the gate that served as the usual ramp. The craft was exactly the same as the others he’d been in before, so he debated with himself about what he would do. He could go to the control room, but, as much as he liked seeing how they broke through the atmosphere, he was sure he would be bored after a little while. 

He decided on going to search for food, so he started walking towards the common room that was, like always, completely deserted. It seemed somewhat depressing, to have such a spacious and comfortable room empty, but he had gave up trying to understand how people at the Government thought. 

He could go find Daisya, he mused, munching on a synthetic piece of cheese he’d found around the tiny kitchen. He was still unsure around Daisya, even though his bubbly personality was similar to Lavi’s. But, while Lavi’s smile concealed seriousness, Daisya… He lacked that spark that he was used to feeling when he was with some people. It only made it harder to relax around him. 

“Ah, Allen, you’re here,” said a calm voice from the door and Allen turned to Marie with a soft smile. He hadn’t noticed he’d been pacing. 

“Ever been to Melbourne, Marie?” he asked while Marie sat down on the circular sofa. 

“I’ve never been much of a traveller,” he answered and Allen blinked, surprised. Most of the people travelled, at least, the ones he used to talk with. That is, no rich person would risk everything they had just to travel and see how poorer people suffered. Was Marie one of those? Marie smiled. “Viena isn’t such a big town. I was part of their orchestra and I had enough to live by myself.”

“Oh, so you’re a musician?” asked Allen and he hesitated to sit down beside the man, before he sighed and did so. The feeling around Marie was always calm, warm, like what he supposed a big brother would be like. 

“I am,” answered Marie and Allen noticed how his fingers twitched. His smile widened.

“What do you play?” Allen didn’t know too much about classical instruments, because not a lot of people knew about them anymore, and electronic music was better for parties, where people forgot how the world was crumbling. Even then, Allen had always felt a connection with classical music. It was relaxing and powerful at the same time, it was…

“I play the harp,” said Marie with a soft smile and bright unseeing eyes. Allen couldn’t help looking back at his fingers, where the Innocence hugged them and from where thin cords unravelled, and it all made sense. “Do you have a favourite instrument?” Then he paused and grimaced. “Oh, sorry, you do know what instruments there are, right?” Ah, Marie was aware of how ignorant people could be. 

“I know, don’t worry,” chuckled Allen and hummed softly to himself, thinking of the images he’d seen of orchestras. “I think my favourite would be the piano.” He said at last, and Marie prompted him to explain why, a calm smile on his face, so Allen shuffled on his seat, smile dim. “I don’t know why, honestly, it’s just that… it feels good when I hear it, and I like how emotive it can be.” He didn’t say anything about how it made him feel. Warm, calm, but at the same time sad, hesitant…  _ Familiar _ . It seemed to be the key word every time. 

“The piano is a great instrument, of course,” chuckled Marie and his light eyes looked up at the white ceiling. “It can be powerful and intimidating or soft and melancholic. It all depends on what the player is feeling at the time.” Marie tilted his head and looked at him, even if Allen knew he wouldn’t see him. “Do you know how to play it?”

“I don’t,” said Allen, with a rueful smile, even if his fingers twitched. 

_ But sometimes I feel as if I could go near a piano and play a lullaby to soothe everyone.  _

The craft landed soon after and Allen had to stuff his phone in his uniform’s pocket. Marie had recommended him some good songs, and he intended to use them when nightmares attacked him in his sleep. 

As soon as he got out, he blinked at the warm air that brushed his face. It was warm, but it was cooler than in Chicago, and when he looked up, he had to squint, but there it was, a tiny hole in the light grey sky that showed a dark red sky. 

“Oh, you can see the sky here,” said Daisya’s enthusiastic voice from behind him. “But why is it deep red?”

“Oh, it’s almost night time here,” said a uniformed woman close to them. Allen looked at her briefly and then looked back up at the sky. Then, that was dusk. It would have been really pretty, if they could see all the sky. At least Melbourne seemed less polluted. “Please, follow me and we’ll discuss your mission.”

Allen walked behind her and Daisya was right beside him in no time, chattering to him excitedly about the sky and what not. Allen wondered shortly if it was true that Daisya had been an Exorcist for years. Then again, there were numerous coping methods and he wasn’t one to judge. 

Melbourne didn’t have a base, but they did have a congress, so the woman led them to a car, parked by the side of the landing field. Allen looked around at the plain their were at, all steel platforms and sand. As he climbed into the car, he checked his phone for any messages and sighed when he saw some. He made a mental note to read them later, but he wasn’t sure that he’d have time to do so. 

“Have you ever been to Australia before?” asked Daisya, who had been quick to sit by him, in the middle of the backseat. 

“I haven’t,” said Allen with a small smile and Daisya hummed as more people climbed the car. 

“The football here isn’t the same,” he said and Allen tilted his head. He wasn’t one for sports himself, but he knew that some people liked to cheer on their favourite teams. There weren’t many anymore, but he knew that there used to be a lot of them before the catastrophe. He didn’t know that Daisya was one of those hooligans, though. “It’s more like the American football. They can use their hands and the field is different too, of course, and-”

Allen found himself listening intently to Daisya and his explanation about the different types of football there were all around the world, eyes looking out the car’s tinted windows from time to time. As they got closer to the Melbourne, Allen noticed that it didn’t seem intimidating from a distance, which was the case for most cities. He wasn’t sure if Melbourne was considered a city or a town, to be honest. He didn't know if it had always been like that.

As they drove through the streets, where people went around their day, at a more sedated pace than most people at a city, Allen decided to ask his companion, if only to quiet his curiosity.

“Do you think Melbourne is a city or a town?” he asked in only a whisper. Daisya hummed, low, and, as his dark eyes roamed through the people and streets and not that tall buildings, Allen could see that same gaze he was used to see in most Exorcists. Wary and alert.

“I think it’s mostly a town,” he said at last, voice just a whisper like Allen himself had done moments before. “Even if it’s a large town, it’s not rich enough for it to be a city, much less a capital.” 

And Allen knew how important wealth was in a world that was crumbling more and more every day. 

The congress reminded Allen of the one he’d seen at Manchester, the place where his life had started spinning out of control for him. A wave of nostalgia hit him, but he shoved it down as they walked down the hallways of the building. It was refreshing, somewhat, to be somewhere else than a city or station or base. To see a town, not a city, even if the town was in a really good condition. He felt safer, comfortable. He knew how to move around, he knew how the people there were likely to think. 

“We’ve seen a lot of Akuma in the area,” explained the woman, a tablet on the table in front of her. Allen was tempted to look out from the large window by his side, but he controlled himself and he distracted himself watching as Daisya rolled his ball, his Innocence, around. “We don’t know if it’s because of a possible piece of Innocence, but, even if it isn’t, such a large number of Akuma is dangerous. We've already lost quite a few people, we won't stand by it anymore.”

“We’ll take care of them,” said Marie, voice as calm as ever, and Allen watched as the woman’s tense shoulders fell. She smiled slightly.

“Please, rest for now,” she said, and Allen was somewhat surprised at the concern in her voice. It was weird for Government officials to  _ care _ for  _ them _ . “I know that you’re wide awake for now, but it’s dangerous to go out at this hour.”

Marie was the first to nod and Allen nodded too when her eyes found his. Another uniformed man nearly bowed to them when they got out of the conference room and gestured to them to follow him. They didn’t take the car that time, walking around the building and coming face to face with a hotel. 

Allen found himself with nothing to do, so he decided to take a shower and change into some casual clothes. He debated with himself about going to take a walk, but he shook his head, remembering how the people had stared at him. Even if he didn’t wear his uniform, his hair was eye-catching. People did dye their hair unnatural colors, but that was mostly at cities, where people had more money to spare on themselves. 

He jumped off from the bed and he stretched his arms up. He could go down and search for food and something warm to drink so he would become sleepy. He nodded to himself.

The hallways were mostly empty and silent, so he creeped around, covering his white hair with his hood and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He almost expected to bump into someone, but he didn’t, and managed to get to the cafeteria, where he ordered a warm tea and some sandwiches. 

As he made his treck back to his room, he paused when he heard a jingling sound near the stairs. He frowned. He knew that sound. He hugged his sandwiches to his chest and sipped his tea. Should he follow him? It wouldn’t hurt and really, he was too bored and too awake to return to his room again. It would just suffocate him. 

He started going up the stairs and, as he passed by the other floors, he grinned. Did the hotel have a rooftop? Chicago’s base didn’t, and he had been too tired to look in Paris, so it had been a while since he last climbed somewhere high. The last time… oh, it had been when they went to Mars. 

He sipped his tea, a bitter taste in his mouth. He usually avoided what they had heard in Mars. It was disgusting, it was cruel, it made him reevaluate his choice of joining the Government. 

When he opened the door to the rooftop, he saw how Daisya jumped and hid something in his pocket. Allen frowned slightly, but moved on, walking closer to him. Daisya was sitting on the floor, leaning back on the steel railing, his feet hitting softly the ball from side to side. As Allen got closer, he scrunched up his nose at the smell.

“What would you do if someone caught you?” he said, voice serious, but not much, because he could understand him. Daisya shrugged and struggled to get the joint out of his jacket’s pocket without burning anything. 

“I’m an Exorcist,” he said, bitterness clear in his voice. Allen recoiled for a moment, but Daisya continued. “They wouldn’t say anything, and even if they did, they can’t really stop me.” There was another pause between them and Allen sipped the last of his tea. Daisya took another drag of the joint, closing his eyes, and he looked back at Allen. “Do you want some?”

Allen shook his head slightly and took some careful steps towards the railing. He leaned on it, a smile on his face, as he looked over the buildings of the town. He unwrapped one of the sandwiches and munched on it, taking in all the little details of the buildings, how many lights were turned on, the difference in height between them. He felt free there, he could let his mind wander to more calm thoughts. He wished he could see the Moon, and he wished he could jump off from the rooftop and feel the air on his face. 

Smoke drifted around, lazily, but Allen didn’t much care for the smell. It had been a while, but he had frequented the darkest parts of towns and bars, and the shelters weren’t the most faithful to the law. 

“You know, it’s weird,” said Daisya, voice slurred, too relaxed, and Allen tilted his head to watch him squash his joint on the ground. “I’ve felt as if I knew some of the Exorcists, and yet… I don’t feel that with you.”

Allen’s eyes widened and he turned, leaning his side against the railing. Daisya had… 

“You feel that too?” he blurted and maybe he should have cringed, he wasn’t supposed to slip up, but it was unexpected. Daisya raised his head, a frown on his face.

“Too?” he repeated. Then he sighed. “I felt that with a few. Marie was one. Kanda too, and Tiedoll, as soon as I saw him. Lenalee too, and Lavi too, but less... “ Daisya stood up, wobbled for a moment and he arched an eyebrow at Allen, who was still staring at him. “Did you feel something?”

“I didn’t,” he said, mouth dry, and he wrapped his half-eaten sandwich with hesitant hands. “I felt something with some of the Exorcists, and they usually felt the same.” 

“I suppose it’s weird that we hadn’t felt anything?” asked Daisya, and his smile was thin. Allen couldn’t bring himself to do the same. 

“Yeah,” mumbled Allen and Daisya laughed, walking towards the door that led inside. Allen stared after him, eyes still wide and heart beating fast. “Yeah, it’s really weird…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, something big. But not the biggest. I don't know why Daisya gets so much screetime this arc?? He just does.  
> What do you think? Kudos? Comments?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	17. Gold Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I start classes in a little over a week, but it shouldn't be as wild as last year... I hope. And the Big Bang is so soon!!  
> *Things* happen this chap... also, the end is kinda gory. Just in case. Yeah, I'm just gonna shut up. Enjoy!

He knew that he’d been wishing for some kind of dream. 

Another of those strange dreams, something that could give him a clue on what was going on with his life. 

Still, when he woke up just moments after dawn, gasping for breath, tears streaming down his face, lungs burning and whole body shaking, he cursed.

He raised his trembling hands to his face, wiping his tears away, mind scrambling to hang on the last details of the nightmare. He only remembered white, a blue sky that couldn’t be from that era, white buildings that were too small. He remembered a key, a dark hand, and… and… 

Golden eyes.

He slapped his hand over his mouth, closing his eyes and breathing too hard from his nose. The world wavered and he struggled to untangle himself from the soaked covers with his other trembling hand. He stumbled into the bathroom and just made it in time to throw up in the toilet. 

The golden eyes seemed to be the only detail that always stayed with him after the worst dreams and he didn’t even know why. He gripped the toilet after he’d finished and he rested his forehead on the cool surface, breathing, just breathing and trying to calm down. 

When he came out of his room, uniform wrinkled, too pale, hair messy and his eyes red and puffy, he wanted nothing more than to crawl back in bed and sleep for the next five years. Even so, he managed to find the cafeteria and eat some breakfast, drink a few mugs of coffee and set out to find where his companions were, ignoring the dumbfounded stare the waiter sent him. 

“Wow.” Daisya paused, hand up in the air in what should have been a friendly wave, smile disappearing as soon as he saw him. Allen sighed. “Rough night?”

“You could say that,” grunted Allen and rubbed his eyes for the tenth time since he’d come out from the hotel. “I just want to finish this.”

“Then we should get going,” said Marie and Allen nodded mutely. 

They walked quickly to a black car that was waiting for them just outside the hotel and Allen grimaced when he slammed the door with too much strength. He looked over the window, and he sighed, relieved, when he didn’t see any crack. Daisya laughed nervously by his side. 

“You should be careful there,” said the young man that was driving the car, a grimace on his face, and Allen raised his gaze from his lap. “There had been quite some deaths there, because they were too careless… I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“Thank you,” said Marie from the front seat, a small smile on his face. “Will you be our guide?”

“The boss said so, yeah,” nodded the man. “My name is Doug.”

As they drove out the town and into the plain that the woman from the day before had said, Allen took another look at his messages, frowning when he saw Lavi’s ‘we’ll take a look at the documents today. ttyl.’. The plain was the same as the one they had landed at the day before, dusty, with metallic structures built in seemingly random places, and when he tried to locate the hole in the sky, he couldn’t find it, only seeing white and grey. 

“This is it,” said Doug, stopping the car, and Allen almost asked why they were there. There wasn’t anything that seemed unnatural. But then he paused, slamming the door after he’d got out, staring into the horizon. There was something… dark. “Please, be careful. I’ll lead, but I’m pretty sure it’s already obvious.”

Allen nodded, quiet, eyes locked far away. He was expecting to see something, maybe an Akuma running towards them. But he didn’t. It didn’t even happen moments later, when they were already far from the car. He could feel his comrade’s uneasiness, nerves prickling, and he gulped. He wasn’t wearing any gloves, and he clenched his fist, eager to just activate and  _ do something _ damn it, it was _ right there _ , he could  _ feel it _ .

He felt how Marie activated his Innocence moments later, he heard the threads cutting through the air, and he heard the jingling from Daisya’s ball. He didn’t hesitate to activate himself, and he breathed a sigh of relief when the feathered cloak wrapped around him, soft and white and gold. 

“Do you think the Akuma is around?” asked Doug, and, even if he hesitated for a moment, he still stood straight, eyes focused. 

“Maybe,” said Daisya and Allen paused with them. Daisya passed by him, until he was in the lead, and Allen looked around. Even if it was an Akuma, it was too dark. The presence was too dark. Were they really dealing with an Akuma or Skeleton?

The ground shook and they all scrambled back. Allen’s heart skipped a beat when the dust and sand parted and a crack appeared right in front of them. He cursed, and he whipped his cape, just in time to shove Doug away from the huge claw that emerged from it, black, maroon and lethal. 

“Get back, Doug!” he yelled over the rumble of the earth breaking apart, rocks rolling through the dusty ground and a loud roar that shook him to the core. What were they dealing with, a Level Three?

He saw Doug running farther away from them through the corner of his good eye, and he huffed, readying his own claw, much smaller, but somehow, he knew it would be enough. They would be okay. 

The Akuma was huge, he would give it that, but he didn’t appear to appreciate light very much, if he had to guess with how it grumbled and lowered its head. He was about to hurry and finish it with a swipe of his claw, before it came out fully from its hole, but he paused when he saw a glint of green and he could only stare as Marie’s thin threads wove around the blinded Akuma. He turned, his hard boots slipping on the sand, and looked at Marie with wide surprised eyes. 

“Hurry!” said Marie, jaw clenched, and Allen nodded, turning again and running towards the Akuma. 

“It isn’t that blind!” yelled Doug from a distance, and Allen soon learned why when the Akuma raised a struggling claw and let it fall just right beside him. 

Allen gasped, dust and sand getting into his nose, burning in his lungs, and he coughed. Eyes watering, he managed to drive his claws between the pieces of armour on the Akuma’s arm, almost grimacing at the disgusting feeling of doing it. He huffed, before jumping on the arm and starting to run. He tried to clear his eyes, or at least the one eye he could see from, and searched around for Daisya. When he saw him, he gestured to the Akuma, and smiled slightly when he saw the thumbs-up. 

“Hey, look at me, you mole!” shouted Daisya and the Akuma’s head turned to him, slowly. “That’s right! You can’t see shit, can you?”

Allen saw Daisya raise his leg and kick his ball. It hit the Akuma right on his face like a blue bolt that cracked in the air and the Akuma roared again. Allen stopped when the arm he was on moved and he yelped when he had to jump off it. He thrusted his claw on the Akuma’s back, bracing himself against its weird spikes as the Akuma waved his arms around it at random, clearly hoping to hit the one that had attacked him. 

And it did.

Allen’s warning died off in his throat and he could only watch as the huge claw hit Daisya and sent him flying through the air until he fell on the ground some meters away. He didn’t move. Allen could see the red blood staining the grey sand. 

“You son of a-” he growled and he buried his claw deeper into the Akuma’s back, using it to jump again to his head. Fury boiled inside him and he braced his right arm around one of the spikes and stabbed the Akuma right in its face, eyes blazing. 

He ignored the howls as he continued driving his claw in the Akuma, the gold now stained black with the Akuma’s blood. It struggled more and more and, at some point, it managed to shake Allen off. He fell on the ground, dust floating around him, and he coughed, sharp pain going through his back. 

“Allen, you have to finish it!” said Marie, and Allen huffed, watching as the Akuma tilted dangerously, the threads much more thigh than before. 

He whipped his cloak at it, squinting his eyes to see through the dust, carefully but quickly manoeuvring the sharp feathers so that they pierced the Akuma. The movements came naturally to him, it was much easier to conduct his Innocence and fight with it than before. It howled again, but this time its struggling was weaker, until it finally stopped and Allen let out a sigh of relief. It didn't last much.The threads shook. Allen widened his eyes as he saw the body of the Akuma tilting dangerously over him. It was going to fall down on him. Oh, no, it was going to _crush him_. 

He turned to his side, closing his eyes, arms shaking. He could hear Marie shouting, maybe yelling his name, but he couldn’t really hear him over the grumble of the Akuma’s body cracking even more ground. 

It didn’t fall on him, though, and he blinked open his eyes, rubbing at them with his gloved hand. He paused. He was… soaked. Soaked in blood. Soaked in black blood. It smelled horrible, like something was rotting, something dead, something dark, and he shivered violently with a shaky gasp. 

Sharp spikes from his Innocence had pierced the Akuma in more places to stop its fall, but the blood was flowing between the feathers and the cloth, until it reached him. 

He crawled on his wobbly hands and knees, gasping for air through his mouth, and shivering. The blood was disgusting, so disgusting, he didn’t like it one bit, he wanted to spend the next six hours in the shower. 

It wasn’t only the smell and the sight of the black blood which upsetted him. It was the dark feeling, the warnings his mind was flashing at him, the feeling that it was just  _ so wrong _ it hurt, it made his heart shrink in sadness and pain and oh, why was this happening?

When he managed to crawl out of the Akuma, he deactivated his Innocence after a shaky sigh. The black blood still stained, but some of it had fallen to the ground. The Akuma’s body fell to the ground and dust flew through the air again. Allen took a deep breath, still sitting on the ground. He wondered why the Akuma’s body didn’t disappear in ash like the previous times, but he shivered again and decided not to dwell on it. 

“Allen, are you okay?” asked Marie from the other side of the Akuma. Allen sighed again. 

“Yes, I think so,” he said, hoping that his voice hadn’t shook as much as he thought. He wasn’t hurt, or at least, he didn’t think so. He was just… shaken. Yes, shaken. It wasn’t every day that he got drenched in black blood. “Is Daisya alive?”

“Yes,” yelled Doug and Allen stood up, stumbling for a moment. “We need to treat his injuries!”

Allen nodded to himself, trying not to look at the dark splotches on his uniform, and took hesitant steps towards where he had heard Doug. He frowned to himself. Even if they had taken care of the Akuma, the unease hadn’t left him, it was still lurking around his mind, sending warnings to him, and it only made his hands shake. 

_ Something’s wrong… _

As coughed and hid his mouth and nose behind his hand to avoid breathing in too much toxic gas from the Akuma and dust from the ground, he squinted to see where Doug and Marie were. He could make two silhouettes some meters away, and he set off towards them, even when gold cracked around his Innocence. 

_ Something’s really wrong… _

He managed to get out of the dust and gas cloud and he rubbed his eyes to keep them from watering. His heart was beating too fast now, and really, it was weird. They were too quiet. He had expected them to be discussing how to carry Daisya to the car, maybe start treating his wounds. But his companions weren’t saying anything. Not even a whisper. 

He raised his head, turning it to where he recalled the two silhouettes were. His eyes widened and he took a step backwards, hands shaking and Innocence screaming at him to activate, blood pumping in his veins. 

No wonder they weren’t saying anything, because Marie was laying on the ground, immobile, a dark red pool of blood under him, and Allen could only let out a shaky gasp when he saw purple butterflies munching on two of his fingers. Butterflies, purple butterflies, his mind reeled and sent stabs of pain through him, and he could only clench his jaw, because, oh, no, those were the exact same butterflies from his dreams, nightmares, premonitions?

“Oh, I finally found you, boy,” said a voice he didn’t recognize, laidback, calm, amused, and Allen struggled to tear his gaze away from the butterflies. He knew, God, he knew he should do something about them, he couldn’t let them hurt his comrade like that, but his mind was in too much disarray and oh, that voice was… “I’ve been meaning to talk with you for a while. Guess I was on time.”

Allen’s heart jumped in his throat when his silver eye locked with a pair of fierce gold ones. His knees wobbled dangerously, but, he didn’t know how, he managed to stay up. Dark curls, dark skin, dark and expensive suit, a row of star-shaped scars on his forehead, the man in front of him was grinning, a cigarette between the fingers of his left hand, smoke swirling lazily through the air. 

And his right hand was clutching Doug’s hair, red blood soaking his black hair. Allen couldn’t see his face, as the man’s hand was literally what was keeping his body up, and Allen was horribly sure that he didn’t want to see anything more, when what he could see had him nearly throwing up right there. Because Doug’s arms were on the dusty ground. Bloody. Cuts all over.  _ Not attached to his body. _

“Who are you?” asked Allen, voice low, shaky, eyes wide, horrified,  _ how had this happened? _

“I think that you know me,” said the man, arching an eyebrow. Allen noticed that he seemed genuinely surprised and confused, but he didn’t know what to do with that information. “Or, at least, I don’t know, you  _ should _ know.”

“You’re…” mumbled Allen, lips shaking, and a image came forward, from that time in Manchester, where they were searching for Kanda’s friend, Alma, and they went to the dark part of the town and… and… “You’re that man… from Manchester…” he gulped, and his throat burned. “Why…?”

“You really don’t know anything…” sighed the man, closing his eyes, his golden eyes, and Allen grimaced at the man’s disappointed grimace. “Ah, such a shame, Cheating Boy. I had hope, you know, that you would recognize me…” The man took another long drag from his cigarette. “I’ll need to tell the Earl, though... “ 

“What…?” mumbled Allen, frowning at the familiar title, at the name they had been running after all these weeks, the name that his friends were searching for back in Chicago…

“Well, anyway, thanks for the new Skeleton,” said the man, a big grin on his face, and he waved the cigarette in the air. Allen frowned at him. 

“Just what are you?” he asked, voice not as shaky as before, but still hesitant, because that man had a really dark aura around him, it put him on edge, and he knew that there was a reason his Innocence and his own subconsciousness made him want to run or flight. 

“Like I said, you already know that,” said the man, and Allen growled at his careless voice. The man waved at the butterflies and they flew to him, almost begrudgingly, perching on his shoulders. The man arched an eyebrow at him, cigarette between his lips again. “It’s a pain explaining things.”

And Allen could only watch as the ground behind the man shook, cracked, and for a moment he tensed, expecting another mole-like Akuma. But from the ground emergen a door, elegant, dark, with a golden crown on top that made Allen much more nervous than the butterflies.

The man turned to it, cigarette still on his lips, and started walking calmly towards it, dragging Doug’s bloody body behind him. Allen found himself staring into Doug’s light eyes, and he shivered, tears prickling at his eyes, because, oh, Doug didn’t deserve  _ any _ of this. 

When Doug’s eyes moved, pointing to the car they had parked far from their location, weak, Allen felt fear crawling around him, suffocating him. Doug’s eyes were losing life, losing strength, and Allen found himself hoping that the young man died on the way. 

But he couldn’t allow that, could he? He was an Exorcist, he had power now, he wasn’t the kid that stole food and ran when he saw an Akuma. He had Innocence, he could fight, he had to fight, he could save people. Wasn’t that what he had decided that day, when he was still in New Delhi. He wanted to help, wanted to save, even if it meant destroying. 

Anger lapped at his mind and he tensed his hand, frowning, concentrating on the feeling. He tensed his legs, ready to launch himself against the dark-skinned man that was getting close, too close, to that unnerving door. He growled, but the man paid him no mind.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growled, this time louder, ignoring how violent his voice sounded, how unstable it was, and the gold cracked around his whole arm, until he freed his power, his Innocence, and the gold hugged him. He kept his eyes locked on the man, who paused for a moment before continuing. Allen felt his anger become fury, hot, uncontrolled, and his face was set in a too dark scowl when he yelled the next time. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, _ Tyki Mikk _ ?!”

He heard how the ground cracked beneath his boots when he launched himself against the man, claw tense and ready, eyes blazing. The man turned to him, golden eyes amused and interested, and when Allen whipped his claw at him using his fury as a source of strength, the man raised his left hand.

The man stopped his claw, grabbing his wrist in a firm grip that made Allen grit his teeth in pain. He nearly slipped on the sand, eyes locking with gold, and he tried to ignore the shiver that went through his whole body. And then he gasped. 

“That was reckless,” said the man, voice amused, and Allen wanted nothing more than to punch his teeth in. “You haven’t changed at all, have you, boy?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he growled and he twisted his arm to get the other man to let go of him. The man blinked, taken aback for a moment, before he grinned and chuckled. 

“Yep, hasn't changed at all” he said and Allen tried very hard to ignore his words, but his mind agreed with the man, agreed with what he was saying, made him confused, because he was starting to think of the other as a friend of all things. “Ah, shame that I need to get going, really. Road will get mad at me, and I don’t want to deal with her.” 

“What…?” started asking Allen, voice raising by the second, confused, angry, but he cut himself when the man’s grin widened and a sharp pain went through his left arm. 

He moved his gaze to his arm immediately, eyes wide, wrist still in his grip, and he grimaced when he saw  _ cracks _ running through his arm, as if it was some sort of rock that was breaking apart. He bit back a whimper, staring, horrified, at his cracked arm, oh, it  _ hurt _ , and the other man let out a low chuckle before kicking him on his chest, knocking the breath out of him violently, before kicking his legs out from under him.

His sight blurred and his head spinned as he tumbled down to the dusty ground and he groaned, curling in on himself in pain, right hand brushing his left arm and hissing at the sharp pain that went through him. He could see red, but he didn’t know whose it was. He didn’t know if it was his, Marie’s, Doug’s, or even Daisya’s… He was so tired. 

“It was fun meeting you, boy,” said the man, an amused grin still on his face, left hand holding his cigarette again and his right dragging Doug’s body, leaving a bloody trail behind him. Allen glared at him through his dizziness and pain. “I hope we see each other again soon. I really want to play a game against you.”

And with that, the man disappeared as soon as he crossed the door, which was too bright for Allen’s pained eye. He heard how the door crumbled away, gasping for breath, feeling the fury leave him slowly. In its place, it only remained guilt. Heavy and excruciating guilt. And pain. 

He whimpered as he searched around his pockets, trying to find his phone, hoping that it was still working. His right hand trembled and he had to deactivate his Innocence, biting down on his right sleeve to stifle the scream that crept up his throat at the pain that shot through his whole body. He could feel tears running down his face, hot, but at the same time cold, and he struggled to lift his phone, squinting to see the words on the cracked screen. 

The words wove on his screen and he had a hard time pressing the icons to ask for help from someone, please, he didn’t even dare ask his other two companions if they were okay, because he knew that they wouldn’t answer and he shoved his scared thoughts from his head, trying not to think that maybe, just maybe, they would be too late and he was already laying in the middle of nowhere with two corpses. He tried to think even less of Doug’s fate. 

Someone asked him where he was, more and more worried when he couldn’t open his mouth to answer and he could only gasp in pain. His sight blurred again, and this time, black appeared in the corner of his vision. He was cold. He was still soaked in black blood, and he was sure that his own blood had been added to the mix.

He closed his eyes, the voice on the phone now yelling for people, and he curled into a tighter ball, trembling and hoping that it was all another one of his nightmares. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good ol' Doug... who remembers him? And yeah, he will appear sometime later and I'm pretty sure you know who is gonna see him. And Tyki! He will get a bigger roll... later. Much later.  
> Comments? Kudos? What did you think of this new chap?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	18. Destroyer Who Will Save

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see you guys liked last chapter... hehe I'm glad! Thank you for the comments! Uni has started but I shouldn't have any trouble keeping up, if only because I have some chapters written already.  
> This chap deals with the aftermath of what happened, which isn't really exciting, but the plot will pick up, don't worry. Let the kids deal with the trauma first.

He woke up in pain. 

It didn’t even surprise him, but he did wonder where he was. He was laying on something soft, with something else covering him. He supposed they were blankets and, for a moment, he felt confused. He couldn’t remember what had happened. Was he hurt somewhere?

He struggled to open his eyes, slowly, and the first thing he saw was a white ceiling. He frowned and blinked lazily. Really, what had…?

Then he remembered. 

Oh, he remembered everything. 

The Akuma, Daisya, Marie, the black blood drenching him, the red blood spilled on the ground, and… and… 

That man. Who was that man? How could he stop him with just his hand? How did he…?

Oh, Doug. He’d dragged Doug with him, who knew what was happening to him now, oh, God, he couldn’t do anything, he wasn’t able to save him. The one thing he wanted to do, the thing that pushed him forwards to work for the Government, to save those in need… he’d failed…

“Ah, you’re finally awake,” said a voice from the door, by his left, and he turned his head to the side, eye too bright, watery. He saw blond hair and a serious face. Link. He cringed and relaxed his hands, which had gripped the covers so hard that pain had shot up his arms. 

“Where…?” His voice cracked and he grimaced, nose wrinkling. How much had he been out?

“You’re at Chicago’s base,” said Link, getting closer to his bed, and only then did Allen notice the IV sticking out from his right wrist and the numerous bandages that hid his left arm from sight. He could see some splotches of blood on them. Link sighed. “You’ve been three days unconscious. The damage done to your Innocence…” Link frowned, more serious than usual and Allen moved his head away, feeling bandages around it too. “Try not to let it happen again.” There was a pause. “What did it? An Akuma? Skeleton?”

Allen remained silent, eyes locked on the window by the right side of his bed, showing the white and grey sky of Chicago. He remembered the hole on Melbourne. But it was pushed aside by the image of the golden eyes, fierce, amused, mocking. They knew something he did not and it made him extremely uneasy, the most he’d ever been. 

“I need to talk with Komui,” he said, voice softer than before, and he ignored Link’s confused gaze. He turned back to him, eyes now worried. “How is Daisya? And Marie?”

“They are fine,” answered Link after a few seconds, in which he stared at him as if trying to figure him out. When Allen kept looking at him, impatiently, he sighed again and left his tablet on the bedside table. “Marie lost two fingers, but he will be okay, they are working on his prosthetics already. Daisya had some deep cuts and bruises, but he will recover just fine.”

“That’s good,” sighed Allen and he closed his eyes for a moment. He regretted doing so a few seconds later, when his head sent him a vicious stab of pain. He hissed softly. 

“You are still suffering from the concussion, I see,” said Link and Allen looked at him with pained eyes. 

“What is my… condition?” he asked, even though he could guess. 

“You have a concussion, some cuts and bruises, a few bruised and cracked ribs,” Allen cringed, remembered how the man had kicked him, “and your left arm took great damage. You ought to refrain from activating your Innocence for the time being.” Link arched an eyebrow at him. “Why do you need to see Komui?”

“I need to tell him about what happened,” said Allen, slowly, and he raised his right hand to rub at his head, unconsciously, so he hissed again and returned it to its former position on the bed. 

“You can tell me and I will relay it,” said Link and Allen found himself rolling his eyes slightly. 

Before he could answer, the door slammed on the wall violently and Allen had to blink slowly for a moment when two black blurs came into the room. He recognized a troubled Alma, who almost ran to him and shoved Link aside, making the blond man hit the bedside table and glare at them, and Kanda, who stood by the door, arms crossed and frown clear on his face.

“Allen! We came back some hours ago and heard what happened, are you okay?” asked Alma, loud, too loud, yelling even, and Allen opened his mouth to tell them to talk quieter, but they just kept going, hands gripping the metal bars of the bed tightly. “I’m so glad you’re awake now, being unconscious when you have a concussion isn’t good at all, you know, we were so worried!”

“You’re being too loud, Alma!” yelled Kanda, and Alma paused on his rambling. Allen felt his eyebrow twitch. 

“Stop yelling, both of you!” he yelled back, gripping the covers with his right arm. “My head hurts, damn it!”

“Sorry,” mumbled Alma, lowering their head, but Allen sighed and smiled at them. Alma smiled back and their eyes moved to Link, who was still there, clearly more uncomfortable than before. “You can go, Link, we’ll make sure he doesn’t do something stupid.”

“Hey,” groaned Allen and slapped at Alma’s arm lightly with his right arm, almost pouting, and Alma grinned at him innocently. Link only huffed, but it seemed like Kanda’s glare was wearing him down, because he turned to leave. Allen called to him. “Let Komui know I need to talk with him!”

Link closed the door after him and Kanda moved to stand closer to the bed, arms still crossed over his chest and the collar from his uniform unbuttoned. Alma was looking at Allen, dark eyes serious and worried, and Allen could see their Innocence still strapped to their back.

“Allen, what happened there?” they asked and Allen sighed, closing his eyes. 

“We defeated the Akuma. But…” he took a deep breath, willing the images of that scene out of his mind. It didn’t work. “There was… someone there. Not a Skeleton. He was the reason Marie lost his fingers.”

“Somebody?” repeated Alma, voice soft and confused. Allen opened his eyes again and locked them on the ceiling. He could feel Kanda’s eyes on him and he tried to ignore them, tried to ignore the memories of Doug’s mangled body. 

“That’s not all, is it?” asked Kanda, and his usual snappish tone was softer than normal. It took Allen by surprise and he tilted his head to look at the man, eyes wide. Kanda huffed. “You’re rattled. What else happened?”

Allen paused, looking down, even though the only thing he could see was more white wall. But his mind was still playing his memories, how the man had dragged Doug through that elegant door, how Doug’s eyes had locked on him, pained, so pained, and how his arms had been left on the ground, on top of pounds of red blood mixed with black.

“He took him,” he said, and he didn’t even know if they could actually hear his voice, it was so quiet and shaky. He could feel tears in his eyes, the sight from the only one that could see blurry. Alma leaned forward, eyes sympathetic. “He took him, he ripped his arms off and then he took him away.” He raised his arms, shaking, ignoring the pain that shot up from his left one, and he hid his face behind his hands. “He took him and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t save him.”

Alma just grabbed his left hand, as Allen cried silently, whole body shaking and guilt replaying how the man had dragged Doug’s body into the light. He remembered the butterflies, the arms on the ground, how Doug’s eyes had told him to run, to get back to the car and escape, and he remembered the deep fury that had coursed through his veins and how violent his voice had sounded when he yelled the man’s… name…

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” mumbled Alma, and Allen returned to the present. He moved his hands away from his face, brows furrowed and eyes still pained. “Not being able to save someone, even though you have the power.”

Allen could see Kanda shifting on his feet, uncomfortable, eyes locked on Alma. Alma’s own eyes seemed far away, lost in a sea of memories, and, not for the first time, Allen was reminded that Alma had been an Exorcist for a long time. Just how many people had they seen dying, being tortured? Did the Government do something to them, to make them stay as an Exorcist and fight?

“Alma…?” he called, unsure, and Alma just smiled, sadly, and patted his left hand. 

“Don’t expect to save everyone, Allen,” they said and Allen recoiled somewhat, frowning. “You’ll fail. You’ll hurt. People will get hurt around you. And the only thing you’ll be able to do was keep fighting. Keep destroying”

Allen lowered his eyes, locking them on his hands, left one bandaged tightly. He clenched his fist. He knew that, damn it, he knew he couldn’t save everyone, but… that was the promise he’d made to himself that time, when his life was falling around him, spiraling out of control, the only thing stopping him from flowing with the chaos of the mysterious words of someone he couldn’t even remember. 

“Even so…” he mumbled and Alma leaned back, eyes surprised and mouth tight. Allen looked at them, at Alma, with their hurt eyes, and Kanda, with his firm expression, and, somehow, the words got out from his mouth before he could even think them through, voice firm and defiant. “I want to be a destroyer who can save.”

Alma sighed, but when they opened their eyes, Allen could see hope, a weird feeling of pride, but his eye focused immediately on Kanda, who had become stiff, hand gripping the hilt of his sword. Allen frowned, worried, because Kanda was one of the few of their little group that knew how to keep his head clear, even if he was violent most of the time. He reached for him, right hand careful and hesitant, was it something he’d said?

“Allen!” The door flew open again and this time Allen found himself being tackled back onto the bed, with the only thing he could make out being black hair. Lenalee. “You’re finally awake! I’ve just seen Link and he told me you were awake. What happened?” Then she reared back, dark eyes worried and she paused when she saw the tears. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” Allen sighed, deeply, and rubbed his face, wiping away the tears with his bandaged hand. “The mission was rough.”

“That’s not all, is it?” she said, voice soft and eyes downcast. She leaned on the bars at the side of his bed, hands restless. 

“They took someone,” whispered Alma in her ear, and she stilled. “He couldn’t… stop them.” Allen flinched and Lenalee reached for him again, biting her lip. Alma paused, then frowned. “Who was it? You said they weren’t a Skeleton.”

“He wasn’t,” he said immediately, but then he hesitated and fell silent, eyes locked on the white sheets covering him. He could still see the golden eyes, feel the cold aura around that man, but he wasn’t sure that telling the others was a good idea. Specially since they had met him before, and the only one to show any reaction had been himself. He sighed. “It was a man.”

“A man?” repeated Alma, and their frown deepened. Allen nodded. “Are you sure it wasn’t a Skeleton? They talk sometimes, I’ve heard them."

“It wasn’t a Skeleton,” repeated Allen. “He was too powerful to be a Skeleton, I…”

“He was the one who knocked you out,” said Kanda, firmly, and Allen nodded again after a pause. 

“But if he wasn’t a Skeleton… “ mumbled Alma, and they leaned on the bed, eyes down and thoughtful, “then what is he?”

“I think we could find out,” said Lenalee, voice soft, and Allen tilted his head to the side, confused, until it finally clicked. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but Lavi, Lenalee and him did sneak into Bookman’s room to search for information about what was really going on in that war. 

“Did you find something?” he asked, curiosity clear in his voice, and Lenalee smiled at him, careful, soft, trying to ease him up and comfort him. It was… nice.

“We did find something promising,” she said and Allen became excited. Lenalee’s smile widened. “We wanted to wait for you to return.”

“Ah, that’s right.” Allen blinked and looked around. It was weird, not seeing the usual red around, he mused. “Where’s Lavi?”

“He’s on a mission,” said Lenalee, smile faltering. Allen frowned. 

“Wait, wait,” said Alma, and Allen was tempted to raise his hands to cover his ears, because Alma’s voice was too loud. “What are you talking about?”

“Uh?” was Allen’s intelligent reply, and he tilted his head to the side. Alma had been there when they had mentioned the Earl thing, right? Then, why…?

“We found some information about the war in Bookman’s room,” explained Lenalee and Alma’s shoulders relaxed. “You and Kanda were on a mission, and we didn’t really want to write it in the group chat… We only told Allen that we found ‘something’, and we didn’t even write what, just in case the Government could hack us. They probably can.”

“And if this is something really important, like it seems to be…” mumbled Alma, eyes serious, “then the Government wouldn’t want us to know.”

“Yeah,” agreed Lenalee, easily enough, and Allen moved around the bed when that annoying feeling of pins and needles pierced his leg. “It’s almost suspicious,” continued Lenalee, smile dimmed, “the way they keep interfering…”

“It’s as if they knew what we were trying to do,” mumbled Allen, clutching the covers. 

“We should wait,” said Alma after some seconds of silence in which all of them tried to make sense of the Government’s methods. They knew they were not the best, but to keep information from them, the ones who fought? They all turned to Alma. “For Lavi, I mean. Then we’ll talk about all this.” 

“If the Government doesn’t send us in another mission,” grumbled Kanda, and Allen saw him glaring at the closed door. He sighed.

“We need to be careful…” mumbled Lenalee, almost to herself, and Allen had to struggle to keep his eyes open. 

“The fate of the war could depend on this knowledge.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think will happen next?  
> Kudos? Comments?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	19. Allies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I noticed that this fic has 69 kudos... nice. Just kidding. Thank you for the support! It means a lot!

Lavi was gone for a few more days, in which Allen rested as much as he could, trying (and failing) to ignore the guilt and the pain the memories of that time brought him. 

He had talked with Marie as soon as he’d been able to stand and he managed to sneak to the man’s room, where he was recovering from his injuries and waiting patiently for his prosthetics. He’d apologized in such a small voice that he had been surprised when Marie had not only heard him, but acted and hugged him for a few minutes, leaving Allen with an aching feeling on his chest, wondering if that was what being a little brother felt like.

By the time he managed to talk his way out of staying another day at the infirmary, he was extremely restless, always rolling around his bed and complaining to Alma or Lenalee, the two Exorcists that usually visited him. Lenalee had said that Komui would return to Chicago with Johnny and Reever in tow, and Allen admitted to himself that, even if he had told Link that he needed to talk with Komui, he didn’t actually  _ know _ what to tell the Supervisor. He would figure it out, though, but he didn’t want to put Komui in a bad situation. He was one of the few Higher Ups that actually cared about them as people. 

When Allen was released from the infirmary, he started walking straight to his room, frowning, but glad that he could move around. His injuries still pained him, but really, advanced technology had its benefits. He almost collided against Miranda when he turned a corner, and Allen sighed when the woman started screeching.

“It’s okay, Miranda,” he said, a small smile on his face, and he rubbed his side, where the painkillers he was still on didn’t quite take the edge off the pain. Miranda was pretty observant when she wanted to.

“But now you’ve jostled your injuries,” she said, her voice a little too loud for his ears, and Allen grimaced. “Now you’re in pain, I’m so sorry, if only I had been paying attention like I’m supposed to do!”

“Really, it’s okay,” said Allen, placing a ungloved pale hand on Miranda’s shoulder, placating smile in place. “Where are you going, though?”

“Ah.” Miranda paused, and Allen mentally sighed. Changing the topic was always helpful. The woman lowered her head slightly. “I was going to the infirmary. Apparently, I forgot that my meds were running out and I need to get more. I’m such a disaster!”

“Ah, but you remembered, right?” Allen was quick to say. “You’re not a disaster, Miranda.”

“Still,” she mumbled and Allen tensed when she saw how her eyes seemed too bright, and her jaw trembled for a moment. His fingers, still on her shoulder, clenched around the heavy cloth that made the Exorcist uniform. “My Innocence is not really helpful, is it? That’s what I’ve been thinking lately. It’s a defensive type, and even if I can pause the time, I have to return it later.” 

And with that, Allen fully grasped what was running through her head. And he could say that it made sense. It wasn’t just Miranda doubting herself and her abilities, it was doubt on the abilities themselves. Allen was sure that Miranda was beating herself over not being able to save people with her power, only being able to lent them some more time. Still.

“Your power is very helpful, Miranda,” he said, voice soft, and for a moment, he wished Marie would be there. The man was much better calming and comforting Miranda than him. “I’m sure you’ve saved countless lives with it. And you’ll continue to do so. Every life is precious, Miranda.”

Miranda stared at him, and Allen worried silently when her eyes watered, but she shook her head and rubbed her eyes, before giving him a trembling smile in return. Allen smiled at her too. At least his words had helped, somehow… he hoped.

“Allen, man, I need to talk with you!” yelled a voice just down the corridor they were in, and when Allen turned to look over his shoulder, he saw Daisya’s spiky hair getting closer and he felt Miranda’s jump under the hand that was still on her shoulder, before she mumbled something and scurried away. 

“Daisya, are you sure you should be walking around?” he said, even if he knew that the same could be said for himself. Still, Daisya stomped right to him, face unusually serious and he grabbed his right arm.

“We need to talk,” he said in a low voice, “about what happened in Australia.”

And with that, the man started dragging him by the arm, careful but still firm, and Allen found himself looking at Daisya’s chaotic bedroom minutes later. Footballs rolled around the floor as Daisya walked around until he could sit on the bed, his dark eyes locked on Allen. Posters of various football teams lined the walls, their eyes digging holes into Allen as he walked over to the bed and sat on it too, careful not to strain his injuries. He was pretty sure he had more painkillers in his room.

“Look, I don’t remember anything about what happened after that Wanna-be-mole hit me like an idiot,” he said, frowning, and Allen waited patiently for the inevitable question that was coming. “But I managed to get some things out of that stuck-up guy, Link.” He paused. Then, in a quiet voice, he asked, “what exactly happened there?”

Allen sighed softly and lowered his head, gaze on his hands, one gloved in black, the other ungloved and pale. Even if he didn’t really want to remember that time, he knew it was important, important for him and for the others, because he was sure that secrets and clues were hiding in the man’s words. Still, the image burned in his mind wasn’t pretty and was sure to haunt him in his nightmares. 

“We destroyed the Akuma,” he said. Daisya nodded. Allen supposed that he had talked with Marie, already. “I don’t know exactly what happened to them, but when I got there… Marie had lost two fingers, and Doug… There was a man. Dark skin, golden… golden eyes,” Allen gulped, “ and he was not a Skeleton.” 

“Not a Skeleton?” repeated Daisya, and when Allen nodded mutely, he grunted. “And? What do you think he is?”

“What?” blurted Allen, probably louder than he meant to, and Daisya arched a dark eyebrow at him.

“I’m sure you have ideas,” he said, and Allen found himself wanting to ask him where did he get that impression. Instead, he shook his head.

“ _ I’m _ not sure,” he said, and then sighed again, a longer sigh that made his shoulders sag. “But  _ we _ might have a lead. Important information.”

“That’s what you were doing when I went to get you,” said Daisya, eyebrows raising to almost his hairline. He smirked, then, and his eyes had that fierce glint that Allen was used to see when he fought. “Look at that, the newbies are working harder than the experts here.” Allen just smiled ruefully. Daisya sighed. “I guess you won’t tell me anything.”

“The less people that know about what it’s going on, the better,” said Allen, voice firm, because he didn’t want the other Exorcists to get into trouble because of them. But Daisya was grinning, a glint in his dark eyes that made Allen frown. 

“Still, a little support from us should be good enough, right?” he said, and Allen was maybe a little surprised to hear hope in his voice, hesitant, but still there. “We’re in this together, aren’t we? We Exorcists need to stick together.”

Allen blinked for a moment, frown gone, staring at Daisya, because wow, he was right, wasn’t he? Maybe some Exorcists didn’t feel that strange feeling of longing and they didn’t really know each other, but if they didn’t support each other… The Government didn’t really care for them, as people, they only saw them as tools to be used to save humanity and all that crap they liked to spill on TV. Allen himself hated them, the authorities that left poor people to die in the Shelters, that controlled everything in such a manner that they always managed to get something good for themselves. 

“I guess so,” he said, and a smile crept up to his face. This was what being comrades was like, right? To have friends? To have allies? Allen found himself thinking that it was nice again, something that he had thought quite a few times in the past months. 

“Okay, so, if you lot are in trouble sometime,” said Daisya, grin wide, “just ask for help from the rest of us. I’ll talk around with the rest, I’m pretty sure that quite a lot of the Exorcists will be on for the ride. Maybe I can talk Suman into it…?”

“Suman?” repeated Allen and he frowned, then grimaced. Suman, the dark-haired man that they had met at the same time as Miranda, the man that had looked at the with anger and pity and a dozen other emotions that Allen hadn’t caught in time before he left them alone. They hadn’t really started on good terms, hadn’t they?

“Yeah, I know you guys don’t really like the guy,” said Daisya, and his smile dimmed somewhat. “But he’s a good man. He just… holds a grudge against the Government… Y’know the Government likes to take Exorcists by force, right?”

Allen nodded mutely. So that was it. Suman didn’t like the Government, like them. Still, why the animosity? Did something happen before? 

His phone chirped from his pocket and he jumped, startled, hands scrambling to take hold of it. Daisya let out a laugh and Allen could feel his face burning as he unlocked his phone with restless hands. The red on his cheeks faded at once when he saw the lone text staring at him. 

‘We’ll meet at the same place as last time.’

“Go,” said Daisya as soon as Allen raised his head and opened his mouth to tell the other Exorcist that he needed to go. Daisya was awfully serious again, a sight that still left Allen feeling out of place. “And be careful, you lot. The Government doesn’t want us to know what we’re fighting, they want us to be obedient and mindless sacrifices.”

Allen gulped, frowning, and he pocketed his phone again. He nodded to Daisya, stood up and walked quickly to the door, mind reeling with all the new information and support. It was nice, he concluded, as he reached the steel stairs that would lead him to the storage room they had used that day when they talked about the new inside mission that would be going from then on. To think that their talk about feelings and that ‘Earl’ would lead to an implication of all Exorcists… it was something he didn’t quite expect, but, nevertheless, he was glad. He was glad that they weren’t alone in something as big as what they were about to discover.

“It’s okay, Lena, I just went _ a bit _ overboard,” Allen heard the nervous voice of Lavi from inside the room and he let himself smile, before knocking on the door and opening it. 

“‘A bit’ overboard? Lavi…” sighed Lenalee and Allen turned left, following their voices, until he could see the two of them sitting on the floor, surrounded by glass containers. 

“That’s just how Lavi is, Lenalee,” said Allen, soft smile in place. He took note of the redhead’s bandages around his forehead and hands when Lavi turned to him when he spoke. Lenalee sighed.

“Al, buddy! You’re so fast!” grinned Lavi and he walked to Allen, immediately hanging his arm around his shoulders. His grin dimmed and he wasted no time in whispering to him, “I heard about what happened in Australia. You okay?”

“As good as can be expected,” he sighed. He knew that Lavi had caught up on why he hadn’t said anything explicit. Lavi squeezed his shoulder and moved to sit again by Lenalee. Allen followed in no time, crossing his legs.

“The others should be here in no time,” said Lenalee, and she reached behind her. Allen perked up when he heard plastic and his eyes brightened when he saw a bag of chips on Lenalee’s hands. She smiled. “I guessed you’d want something while we waited.”

“You guessed right,” said Allen and he quickly reached for the bag with his left hand, right hand on the floor for support as he leaned forward. His left arm shook for a moment, but it was because of that that he’d used his right for support. 

He took a mouthful of chips and leaned back on the glass container as Lenalee and Lavi continued their talk about Lavi’s mission. Apparently, it had been a false alarm, there was no Innocence and only a handful of Akuma which were destroyed in no time thanks to General Sokalo’s brutality and Lavi’s overboard attack that burned his arms when he lost focus for a moment. 

Alma came by after some minutes, saying something about Kanda getting caught up with Link’s questions as he was leaving the training room. They tried to grab some of Allen’s chips from the bag, but he was faster and closed the bag before Alma could grab some. Alma pouted and Allen smiled innocently at them.

When Kanda appeared some minutes later, arms crossed and the usual frown deeper than usual on his face, Lavi cleared his throat and all of them fell silent at once. Lavi was the one tasked with the information, after all.

“Okay, so, I’ve read some of the things in here,” he said and Allen arched an eyebrow. Lavi laughed. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it!”

“So?” asked Kanda, impatience clear in his voice. “Anything about that ‘Earl’?”

“Yes,” said Lavi and Allen’s heart jumped to his throat, breath hitching and hands clasping restlessly on his lap. “And a few other things that, to be honest, worry me.”

“What things?” asked Lenalee, voice almost fearful, but gaze firm.

That was not good, if Lavi himself was worried. Allen sighed softly, willing his out of control heart to slow down. It was harder than he thought, specially when Lavi turned to him, his green eye sharp and serious. It was easy to forget that Lavi had that serious side, with his usual cheerfulness and jokes. 

“Allen,” he called and Allen tilted his head forward, “you said that what hurt Marie and walked away with your mission’s guide… wasn’t a Skeleton or Akuma, right?” 

“Yeah,” nodded Allen, and he clenched his fists. Was that man… related to that ‘Earl’ person? It seemed like it, if only because he’d seen those golden eyes in his dreams one too many times. 

“How was he like?” asked Lavi. Allen paused. 

“Dark skin, dressed in a suit, dark and curly hair... “ he frowned, “he had a row of star-shaped scars on his forehead. And… golden eyes.”

Allen watched as Lavi let out a long suffering sigh and just let himself fall down on the ground, leaning his back against the glass. He looked tired, under their confused and worried gazes. 

“That was a Noah,” said Lavi and Allen found himself feeling as if he knew that from even before Lavi had confirmed it. The same feeling that had started all of that. “They are on the side of the Akuma and Skeletons. They are super-humans, with powers that relate to their title. Most importantly, their number isn’t too clear, but there are around 13 of them and their powers are the complete opposite of ours, which means...”

“Which means that they’ll be really hard to take down,” said Lenalee, and when Allen raised his head, he saw her staring into a glass container, gaze serious and thoughtful, hands clenching her skirt. Lavi sighed again.

“I’ll probably transfer you the document so you can read the details on your own, I don’t want to send it through the group chat, you understand,” he said, and all of them nodded. They knew the Government’s ways and Allen found himself remembering Daisya’s words from just before he got out of his room. 

“But who are the Noah?” asked Alma, voice calm. “I mean, they are on the Akuma and Skeleton's side, aren’t they?  Are they the ones who make them?”

“Yes, yes, I was getting there,” said Lavi, waving his hand. Alma sat back, dark eyes sharp in a way that Allen felt reminded of Kanda, who sat next to them, silent, like a dark cloud. “I’m sure that these Noah people don’t make the Akuma, but I wouldn’t be so sure about the Skeletons. Skeleton’s weren’t present in the last war, as you know.” Lavi paused. “No, they have a clear leader. The Millenium Earl.”

They all fell completely silent. The only sound was that from the air-vents around the storage room. 

The Millenium Earl… so that was it. But, then, why had those Akuma mentioned him? Wasn’t the leader’s identity better kept secret? Or were they just that arrogant and sure of their win they just didn’t care anymore? Most importantly, that name… it just didn’t sit well with Allen. Not well at all. Golden eyes… those unstable golden eyes…

“The Millenium Earl is the one who makes the Akuma,” continued Lavi, voice sounding more and more resigned, tired. “And to be honest I lived perfectly fine without knowing how the Akuma were made.”

“Just tell us,” snapped Kanda when Lavi fell silent. The redhead sighed again and Allen wondered if it was really worth it. 

“To make an Akuma you need a soul, a machine and a tragedy,” he said, voice not showing any emotion, something that made Allen even more uneasy. He wasn’t the only one. “When somebody dies, and a person who cares about them wants them back… the soul is called back inside the machine… and, to put it simply, it kills the person who called it back and wears their skin.”

And again, the storage room was silent. Allen lowered his head, eyes closed. A dream came up, from that time when he got his Innocence, when he nearly died a horrible and lonely death in the middle of nowhere. A dark aura, a twisted soul, begging for release, for salvation… but how could he have known about that? The only answer he could think of was that it had been his own Innocence, and even then, there was something that still screamed at him that he was wrong and that he was ignoring other signs.

“...Do you understand what could be going on?” Lenalee’s whisper was nearly quiet enough to miss, but they all heard it and turned to her, confused and still shook. 

“What… do you mean?” asked Alma, hands clenching their pants maybe a little too tightly. Allen himself had to take a deep breath to get ahold of himself and not tear anything down. Lenalee bit her lip, and her hands moved restlessly to her Innocence, inactive but crackling with energy because of her emotions.

“Think about it,” she said, but they all continued to stare at her, until Kanda growled and they all moved their gazed to him. He shook his head, dark eyes glaring a hole into the wall, hands shaking in quiet rage, and Lenalee let out a shaky breath. “The Government doesn’t want more Akuma to be born… To what extent do you think they would go to prevent it?”

There was a laugh at that, and Allen’s heart froze as he turned his head to Alma, eyes turning maybe a little more sad. 

“You know,” they said, and their smile didn’t really reach their eyes, “this was a lot easier when we just fought to survive against the mindless machines.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are learning... and they will learn more.  
> Kudos? Comments?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	20. Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support!! I've been able to write a few more chaps because of it!! Now I have more chapters done, I wonder if I should post another one sooner...  
> Anyway, we have a time-skip here and we'll tie what was left before moving on. Hope you like it!

Allen could understand now why the Government was as desperate as it was. 

He had gone on four missions in just one month and all of them had been false alarms on Innocence sightings or were just Akuma and Skeletons. He hadn’t been too injured, even if he couldn’t use his Innocence much the first days after he had been discharged from the infirmary. 

He had read the documents that Lavi had sent them and his worry rocketed like the spaceships he was now used to see taking off. He was sure that, even if the title was ‘The Holy war and its secrets’, most of those secrets were missing. Maybe destroyed, maybe lost, he didn’t know, but he was sure that there was more than that. Why didn’t the last generation of Exorcist finish the war? It was said that they were really strong and that they could even fight on par with the so-called Noah, so then… why? What happened? There was nothing about it. It jumped right at the ‘3 Days of Darkness’, when the Millenium Earl and the Noah invoked them and almost destroyed Earth, in 2012, and then there was a huge pause, in which the humans got back up on their feet slowly and the Earl’s side started creating the Skeletons and Akuma and then the Exorcists appeared again...

He was tired, to be honest. He usually spent the little free time he had chatting with his friends that were on base or maybe taking naps and playing video games at his room. 

Still, he was becoming awfully aware of how screwed up the war was. He already knew that, of course, but, as the days passed and he had been an Exorcist for a few months, he began seeing clearly the signs that they were… kind of hopeless. That didn’t mean that he would give up, of course, even after all that happened he refused to just ignore those words from the person he didn’t even remember. He was starting to think that he would never find them, and really, he had been kind of naive, hadn’t he? To think he could find someone without even knowing their face… 

It was when he travelled to the poorest parts of the world, when he got hit by a wave of nostalgia because he used to travel around places like that all the time before he joined the Government, when he realized that he couldn’t do anything. 

Even if he had joined the very people he despised, he couldn’t help the people that died of famine, or were killed by other people, because it wasn’t his business. It wasn’t his job. And even if he wanted to run and just help that poor woman who had fallen on the side of the road, with her children pleading to her to keep going,  _ he couldn’t do anything _ . And it  _ hurt so bad _ , because he had more power now, but it was a power that didn’t let him be able to stand up to the authorities that still controlled everything from their luxurious chairs in an office. The reason he had joined the Government in the first place, the hopeless wish to help others, had been brutally ripped away from his hands. 

It was no wonder he was in such a foul mood, of course. He had gone to an area in which there was a Shelter, had been dragged around the area searching for an Innocence that didn’t even exist and he’d been expected to just ignore the murder of a family that lived at the Shelter when they were robbed and killed when they tried to fight back. 

“Allen, are you okay?” asked Lenalee, who had been waiting for him at the gate of the platform at which his craft had landed. Allen’s brows, which had been furrowed for the good part of three days, relaxed for a moment. 

“The mission… didn’t go that well,” he said, voice low and maybe a little bitter and angry, if he had to guess by Lenalee’s grimace and worried eyes. Her hand touched his shoulder.

“You’re not injured, at least?” she said, voice also lowered, and when Allen shook his head, her fingers closed around his arm. Allen blinked at her serious eyes, the scratches from her last mission clear on her pale face. “Brother is coming back.”

After two months, Komui was going to return to Chicago. He hadn’t been at Mars all that time, of course, he did go to other cities to attend some meetings. Still, it had been a long time. And he still needed to talk to him. He’d had enough time to think what he wanted to say. 

“I need to talk to him,” said Allen, and Lenalee nodded, steering him down the steel stairs and towards the base. Shouldn’t she be… happier? It had been a long time since she had last seen him. “Has something happened?”

“What?” Lenalee blinked, confused, then shook her head, black hair free of the usual hairpins and ponytail. “Oh, no, I was just thinking… should we tell Komui about… what we know?”

“I was going to tell him a really summarized version, to be honest,” he admitted, running a hand through his white hair. He didn’t have gloves on today. Lenalee was silent. Allen turned to her, a small smile on his face. “Should I not say anything?”

“No, it’s not that,” said the girl, sighing. “It’s just… be careful with your words, Allen.”

“Of course,” he said as they reached the door that led into the base. He opened the door, shooting a distrusting gaze at some scientists that were talking among themselves near it. They looked back at him fearfully before he closed the door behind them. “I know what’s in stake.” Lenalee smiled at him, tired. “You should focus more on his return. You miss him, don’t you?”

“It has… been a while, yes,” she said and she stopped when they got to a corner. She smiled again, this time brighter. “You should rest. I’ll tell you when he’s back. Should be in a few days.”

Allen nodded and turned to walk down a corridor that would led him to his room. He had already eaten on the craft, out of sheer irritation, he had needed to rip something off. Still, he was hungry again, so he took a turn after some hesitation and walked towards what he hoped was the kitchen. 

The hours still blurred together for him, so he wasn’t sure which time it was. It was safer going straight to the kitchen and raid the cupboards and fridge. They usually let him do that, turning a blind eye to the hungry parasitic type Exorcist. He was still wondering if it was because they were afraid of them, of him. It was rare to see others raiding the kitchen like him, but it happened sometimes. So he didn’t bat an eye as he saw Krory staring inside the fridge. 

“Ah, Allen, you’re back,” greeted the man, smiling at him and then turning to the fridge again. “Welcome back.”

Allen found himself smiling again, his tense shoulders falling down again. He was tired. He still opened some cupboards, hoping for some good food around. Maybe snacks or something that wasn’t too synthetic, which was hard to find. He took out some cookies and pastries from a cupboard, and moved to the fridge. Krory was still staring inside it, moving things around with a conflicted expression. 

“Something good?” he asked, behind him, clutching his findings in one hand. Krory’s face pinched.

“I don’t really know what to choose,” he said, and his hand moved to a pocket, where a silver flask was peeking from it. 

Allen blinked, confused for a moment, he hadn’t gone on any missions with the man and, even if he could feel that familiarity with him he… didn’t really have the time to talk with him? He would really like to talk more with him, though, he had already seen his amazing collection of plants. He remembered that there were gardens at some place at the base… that part that he didn’t want to enter because he would get lost at once. 

“Do you prefer what’s inside it?” his mouth moved without his consent, but he didn’t give it much thought. It had happened before. It was just another mystery that he still didn’t know the answer to. Krory looked surprised, at any rate. 

“How did you know?” he asked, dark eyes wide, hand grabbing his pocket. Allen paused. This was the hard part. 

“Uh… I felt it?” he said, but it sounded more like a question to him. He shrugged and moved to the side of the man, stretching his hand to the fridge and closing his pale fingers around a random can. 

He turned to leave. He hadn’t talked a lot with Krory, even if he was a good man, and he didn’t know if it was safe to talk about “The Feeling” with him. At least, not yet. He walked quickly to the door, hand flying to the panel that would open it again, but Krory speaked up before he could make his escape. 

“So, you’re the same, uh?” said the man and Allen found himself turning on his heels as fast as he could, nearly slipping on the pristine tiles of the floor, eyes wide. Then he frowned. 

“The same?” he repeated, and he watched as Krory closed the fridge, the tall man that had not a minute before sounded stern and serious fidgeted with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Yes, the same,” he said again, and Allen was maybe a little impatient, opening his mouth to get the man to be clear about it, but Krory continued. “Daisya told me. About the feeling, about what you were doing.”

“So… you’re on our side?” asked Allen, frowning, his left hand tense. Could he win against him in such a closed space? Probably, but he refused to think that the man could disagree with what they were doing, or trying to do, seeing as he could feel it too. The feeling of familiarity that had started everything, even from before he had been an Exorcist. 

“I am,” said the man, and Allen’s shoulders fell back down again, a sigh escaping his lips. “I mean… who wouldn’t be, after all this?” Krory’s eyes were serious again when he looked at him. “Do you know anything about it?”

“Not really,” said Allen, and he fidgeted with the boxes on his hands. “We know some… things, but not about _that_.” He paused. The kitchen was not the best place to talk about that, was it? “We’ll tell you.”

And with that, he let a small smile grace his lips, before he turned, opened the door and walked out of the room. Another one… It would be really suspicious if it had been only the Exorcists which had that feeling, in which case one of the options could have been the Innocence’s doing. But it wasn’t. They had felt the same with some scientists. So, they couldn’t really make a theory that made sense. Well, they had a few, but most of them were absurd or too weird. Lavi himself had pointed out that ‘weird’ was the key word in this war, but still.

Allen debated with himself if he should lock the door, finger hovering over the panel, but then he shook his head and headed to his bed, where he left his snacks and fished around his bag to find his most comfortable clothes. He raised his hand, then moved it to the side and the TV turned on. 

He was still somehow bothered about not having any weird dreams in the last month or so. They usually had clues hid in them, under all the disturbing stuff, and clues were what they needed in those moments. He hadn’t talked much with the others about the dreams, but he supposed that all of them had them. 

He played some video games and ate the food to calm himself down, but the annoying thoughts lingered. It made his blood boil, the Government’s treatment of the poor people, their focus on the war and how they were handling it all. They were wrong. So wrong, but Allen found himself not being surprised anymore. 

Days passed, and before he knew it, he’d been at the Chicago base for nearly a week.

Lenalee had been sent in a short mission while he rested, but there wasn’t anything worth mentioning, she said through text, and Allen sighed for the hundredth time. They weren’t making progress at all. Lavi had been around the base too, but he’d been busy with Bookman, and the very few times he’d been able to see him, the redhead had said that he hadn’t been able to find anything more about the last Holy War. 

Allen was startled out of his thoughts when someone knocked on his door one afternoon, almost dropping the microchip he was working on on the floor. He frowned, but he remembered that Lenalee was going to be back that same day, at the same time as Komui. Komui and his two loyal companions, Johnny and Reever. He was really looking forward to seeing Johnny again, they had become quick friends and Allen found the scientist to be easy to talk with. Plus, the feeling he was getting used to having with people he had never seen before made it so that he was extremely relaxed when around Johnny, like with Lenalee, Kanda and Lavi. It was… refreshing.

He left the microchip and the screwdriver on the bed, moving cautiously to the door. He hoped it was someone he knew, maybe to tell him that Komui and Lenalee were back or something. He opened the door and he smiled immediately. 

“Allen, it’s been so long!” greeted Johnny excitedly, and he hugged him. Allen still found weird how he didn’t flinch as much at physical contact, but it was nice. He tilted his head, just in time to see Link walking down the hallway at a brisk pace. Johnny looked at him too, smiling. “The Inspector guided me here.”

“Thank you, Link!” he called, and the man raised a hand to wave firmly at him. Allen laughed. Link was a little stuck-up, but he was a good guy. Then he turned to Johnny again. “Does that mean that Komui is here too?”

“Yeah, and Reever too,” said Johnny. He adjusted his thick glasses. “He’s talking with Lenalee right now, but he told me to get you. Of course,” Johnny grinned, “I wanted to see you again, so this was a perfect chance.”

“Did he say what he wanted?” asked Allen, and he gestured to his room. Johnny nodded slightly and followed him inside, giving the microchip on the bed a curious look. 

“Not really,” answered Johnny. “He just said he needed to talk with you.” Then Johnny lowered his head, hands fidgeting with his sleeve, and Allen tilted his head to the side. Johnny sighed. “Look, I’ve heard the gist of what happened, but I need to hear it from you.” He coughed, awkward. “About that mission in Australia, I mean.”

Allen blinked, confused for a second, before realization washed over him like a wave, a violent wave that left him disoriented. It seemed like so long ago, but it had been a little more than a month since that fateful day. He didn’t mean to but, when he opened his mouth, he hesitated. He closed his mouth and lowered his head, hair falling to hide his eyes. Should he tell Johnny about what was going on behind the scenes? 

“Something happened…” he said and almost slapped himself, because wow, that sounded stupid. “But I need you to promise me not to tell anyone. No authority.”

“Of course,” said Johnny, and Allen was maybe a little bit surprised at how serious he became with that simple phrase. He sighed again. 

“There was someone, not a Skeleton or Akuma, a Noah,” Allen grimaced slightly. “This is not the best place to tell you this, but there’s a lot more going on in this war.”

“Yeah,” sighed Johnny. “I figured as much. Still… how do you…?”

“Lavi,” answered Allen, quickly. Johnny blinked, surprised. Allen smiled, but he was sure it looked worried and forced. “He’s a Bookman, right? He got some information about the last Holy War. We’re searching for more info, but…”

“I see…” mumbled Johnny, and then he turned around on his heels, hand under his chin, walking towards the window on the other side of the room. Allen frowned for a moment, confused and caught off-guard. “Maybe we can figure something out.”

“Uh?” was all Allen could say. Johnny turned to him, a smile on his face, so genuine and caring that it left Allen completely speechless.

“I’m sure we can get some info,” said Johnny. He laughed nervously. “There’s gotta be something somewhere, right? And you guys are really busy, you should be focusing on staying alive out there.”

Allen blinked. Yeah, sure, they needed to be careful, but so did anyone else, because no matter where they were, they were in danger too, especially since they were allied with them. It seemed much more meaningful now that they knew who was behind it all. But, then again, they did need some support. 

“Okay, fine,” said Allen and he sighed, but he was smiling. It reminded him of that day when Daisya told him that he was going to talk with the other Exorcists, to support them in any way they could, to help them in the mystery that was the Holy War. “But you’ve got to be careful. The Higher-Ups could do anything to you.”

“They could also do anything to _you_ ,” said Johnny and Allen had to take a step back, taken aback again by the young scientist in front of him. Voice serious and shoulders set in a determined stance, Allen could only listen. “You Exorcists are precious to them, but they don’t hesitate to hurt them, if it means cooperation and obedience. And you know that. We’re in the same danger.” Johnny coughed and his shoulders fell, he lowered his head. “And… you Exorcists need to worry about Falling.”

Ah, of course. Falling. The horrible thing that happened when the Innocence deemed you treacherous, something worse than death. But, it surely wouldn’t take ‘thirst for knowledge’ as betrayal, would it? He sure hoped so, or else they were digging their own graves.

“Still…” grumbled Allen, “be careful. Please.”

“Of course, have some hope in us,” said Johnny, this time happier, a grin on his face. Then he paused. “Oh, maybe it’s this what Komui wants to talk about with you?”

“Probably,” said Allen, nodding, and then he grimaced and frowned. “I don’t really think that telling this to him in his office would be a good idea. There could be cameras or microphones or…”

“Ah, no problem,” said Johnny and he turned to his desk, hands reaching for a stack of papers. Allen stared as the scientist sat down on his office chair, got a pen from a nearby stack that Allen was pretty sure he hadn’t used even once, and started writing at top speed in a sloppy and rushed handwriting. “I’ll write some formulas from some paperwork I actually need to give him, and you-” he pointed at Allen with the pen, a cheerful grin on his face, “-will write what you need to tell him in some pages that we’ll mix up with these.”

“That’s perfect,” said Allen, somewhat surprised, eyebrows raised, and he laughed. “I’ll get to it right away.”

He didn’t bother cleaning up what was on his bed, he just took some blank pages and started writing, feeling weird writing by hand. He mostly did his reports by tablet and then he sent the document to where he was supposed to send it, usually to Komui, and he didn’t really go to school when he was a kid, so it was no wonder his handwriting was that messy and he would probably have some typos, but he hoped his message would get across. He had become better at writing by hand when he had first arrived at the Government, but, well. He looked at the pages and grimaced at his bad handwriting. 

“All set? Then let’s go!” Johnny didn’t comment on his messy pages and just mashed them all together. Allen nodded. 

He had decided to write a fast note on the last page, telling Komui to let Johnny and Reever read the pages too. If they really wanted to help them, they needed and deserved to know how much they knew. It was still weird for him, to feel as supported, but, well. He was starting to get used to it which was… nice.

“Ah, Allen, Johnny, you’re both here at last,” greeted Komui from his seat behind the desk. It didn’t have too many things around for now, but Allen knew that Komui would start sneaking machine’s parts at any time. Lenalee was by his side, a contented smile on her face.“Took you a while.”

“Ha, we needed to get these,” said Johnny, a smile on his face again. Allen looked expectantly at Komui, hoping he would get the hidden message. Johnny left the stack of paper on his desk. “Please read them as soon as possible. They’re really important.”

Allen catched Johnny’s gaze to both Lenalee and him, and he saw Komui frown slightly for a moment, before his gaze lowered to the papers on his desk. He took them, looking over them, and Allen saw a flash of realization behind his glasses. Komui lowered the papers on the desk again and nodded at them, the smile on his face wider than before. Allen let out a heavy breath. He got it.

“Thank you, Johnny,” he said and Lenalee gazed at Allen. He met her gaze for a moment, a small smile on his face, before she lowered her head slightly, closing her eyes for a few seconds. “I needed to talk with you two, in any case.”

“Is it a mission?” asked Lenalee, turning to her brother with curious and carefully hidden tiredness. Komui sighed.

“Yes, a mission, you two and Daisya,” he said. He raised his head to look at Lenalee and he smiled ruefully. “I’m sorry to send you this early, Lenalee.”

“It’s okay, brother,” reassured the girl, and she smiled calmly at him. “Where are we going?”

“To what was known as Finland.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chap something big will happen!  
> Comments? Kudos?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	21. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hi! I ended up updating sooner!  
> Like I said, something big happens here. And, again, I don't know why Daisya has so much screentime here?? It just happened?? He didn't get much spotlight in the manga, so maybe I'm just compensating for it... Anyway, hope you like it!

Finland was one of the few places on Earth where some plants still lived. It reminded Allen of Krory’s plants back at the base, and he couldn’t help imagining what Earth looked like years ago, a century ago, when everything was green and blue and full of life. 

They stayed at a base, tall and imposing, which was built between two tall rocky mountains. They were supposed to find an Innocence which was around the area and destroy all Skeletons and Akuma they found. It would have been an easy and fast mission, were it not for the fact that the area was full of mountains and rocks and streams. The Innocence could be anywhere. 

They usually set off in the mourning after packing some bags with food and they chose some group of rocks to explore around. Lenalee was the one in charge of looking around the tallest mountains, Allen himself could usually climb some rocks (with or without his Innocence) and Daisya took the ground. 

“Isn’t it weird that no Akuma has appeared since we’ve come?” asked Daisya on their fourth day, while they ate the food under some rock. Allen paused.

“Back at the base, they said that three members of the staff were killed,” he said and stared at his food. “But yeah, we’ve been searching for days and we haven’t even seen one of them, much less any Innocence.”

“You don’t think this is a trap, right?” asked Lenalee from her perch on a rock. Allen stabbed his food with his fork and frowned.

“I really hope it isn’t,” he said slowly, quietly, and he took another mouthful of food, eyes locked on the cracked ground. Daisya sighed loudly and raised his hands.

“It would be a waste of time,” he said and then he grinned. “By the way, you guys remember that allies thing, right?” 

“Did something happen?” asked Allen, worry creeping into his voice. He kept his hand immobile, fork stabbed into his food with maybe a little too much strength. He was still on edge about asking the Exorcists for support, when even a small mistake could mean pain on their side. 

“You could say that,” said Daisya, and his grin widened. Allen blinked and then his shoulders fell, relieved. His companion was too relaxed, there was no way something bad happened. “I managed to drag Suman to our side.”

“Suman?” repeated Lenalee, and Allen saw her looking up, eyes locked on a rock, foot hitting the rock she was sitting on, thoughtful. Probably trying to remember who Suman was. Allen didn’t blame her, it had been a long time since he himself had last seen the taciturn man around base. And even then, the man usually ignored him, a nasty frown on his face. He still didn’t know why he behaved like that around the younger Exorcists. “Ah, I remember now!” Allen bit the fork and looked at Lenalee again, who looked a bit confused. “Why did he agree? I don’t know him much, but…”

“Suman hates the Government,” explained Daisya with a shrug. “They took him away from his home, from his family, after all.” Allen looked through the corner of his eye to Lenalee, who had lowered her head. Probably thinking about Komui. “He had a daughter. I think he doesn’t like the idea of young people like ourselves fighting in this war.”

“Maybe we remind him of his daughter,” said Lenalee in a quiet voice that seemed to echo off the walls of the rocks they were surrounded by. Allen lowered his head for a moment. It did make sense. Still, that wasn’t the best way to deal with things… not that he was the perfect example, he knew. 

“Probably,” hummed Daisya, and nobody talked after that, each of them lost in their own thoughts. 

Thanks to that, Allen now wanted to talk with Suman, ask him if the reason why he’d been so cold with them was because they reminded him of his daughter and it pained or angered him somehow to see them fighting. He wanted to know, and this time he knew how to get information. It was the opposite of the reasons and secrets of the war itself. And, if they really were going to be allies from then on, they needed to get along, didn’t they? Why did he even accept Daisya’s proposal? 

He kept thinking over it while they searched around again, but before he could ask Daisya just that, it had been too long and they were too tired to continue the search, so they returned to the base and retreated to their own rooms after getting some food from the kitchen and mumbling a ‘good night’. 

Allen didn’t know why he even wanted to have those strange dreams, but it was bugging him, he admitted, while he watched videos on his phone about some of the most beautiful landscapes when the Earth was still alive. He was fast to finish the food they had stolen from the kitchen and he was even faster to start yawning. Soon, he had to fight to keep his eyes open, so he decided absent-mindedly to turn off his phone and go to sleep, the next day was going to be more running around in circles searching for something they weren’t even sure was there.

He didn’t get to turn off his phone, and he dozed off to the sound of someone talking about time-travel and how good it would be to travel back and stop the tragedy that nearly destroyed the world. 

And that night, he dreamed.

He dreamed of a town full of people, people who seemed cold, and dark, like the blood from that Akuma, and he shivered, lowering his head, raising a gloved hand to adjust the hood over his head. 

He had a plaster covering his left eye again, and for a moment he wondered why, but he ignored it when another person passed by his side, talking cheerfully with another and he jumped, left hand ready to invocate and defend himself. 

Why was he even that jumpy? They were only people, just like him, yes, Akuma could transform, but really, what were the chances? 

But everywhere he looked, he could almost see the people’s faces twist into creepy grins, eyes stretching into something horrific and unnatural that made him want to run away.

This was absolutely one of the worst dreams he’d had, he thought as he turned around and walked quickly to a corner, hoping for some kind of cafe to just hide until his paranoia left him alone. He ignored everything that seemed wrong about himself, like how short he was, the different clothes he was wearing, the old buildings that surrounded him.

And then something cold and solid bumped into his head softly, a laugh echoed in his ear and he froze, eye widening and instincts screaming at him to run.

He turned around slightly, jaw trembling, hands shaking, and his only eye locked on the gun barrel that was pointed at his head from the twisted and deformed mess that was a baby’s _ head _ . Its eyes glinted, it’s mouth stretched into a feral grin that sent a cold wave through him and…

And he sat up in bed, gasping, hands clutching his shirt and shaking so much that for a moment he thought he would rip it in half. He felt as if the air he took didn’t reach his lungs, he was suffocating on his own panic, and he reached for the water bottle he always had by the side of his bed. 

He knocked most of his things off the bedside table on his rush, but he didn’t even care, he was just trying to gather his thoughts, maybe try to count to calm himself, he didn’t want to need to rush to the bathroom. He finally took hold of the bottle, feeling incredibly hot, and he pressed the cool metal to his forehead, breath hitching. 

He didn’t know how long it took him to finally calm down enough for him to open his eyes again and lie down on his bed again. He knew full well that he wouldn’t get to sleep for the rest of the night, but he was tired and he missed when he moved his arm to leave the bottle back on the bedside table. It fell on the floor with a loud ‘thunk’ and Allen almost expected Lenalee to come to his room and ask what was wrong. 

The dream was slipping through his fingers again, but he tried to hold on to the details with desperation. He groaned. He had to write it, somewhere, somewhere… 

He searched around the bed, moving the twisted sheets out of the way time and time again. His phone was still on, it was still playing a video, and when he fished it out of the bundle of sheets, he closed the video about ‘10 ways to fall off a tree’ and opened the notes, writing with shaky fingers what he remembered of the dream. It wasn’t much anymore and he had to delete a lot of words because he kept messing up and the phone just kept rewriting it wrong. 

When he finished it, he stared at the screen for a few minutes, before sighing and falling back to lie on his bed. Even if he’d had a dream, one of those weird dreams, it didn’t really help him much. Quite the opposite, it only made him nervous and shaken, something that was not of much help when on a mission. Then he paused. 

The last time he’d had one of the dreams, the very next day something bad had happened. Doug. Was something horribly bad going to happen the next day too? He hoped not, but he wasn’t that sure anymore. He had accepted months ago, even years, that his life wasn’t really normal. Still.

Like last time, he had a few cups of coffee to kick himself back in gear, packed his bag with food and looked longingly at his bed before running down the stairs and arriving late to their meeting place. Lenalee frowned at once when she saw him.

“Go back to bed,” she said, serious tone and fierce eyes almost making Allen turn around immediately and do as she said. Almost.

“No, I’m going,” he said, locking his gaze with hers. It was a battle of wills, one he  _ couldn’t _ lose, because, if something bad was really going to happen, he wouldn’t stay sleeping. He couldn’t. Lenalee sighed.

“Okay, fine,” she said and waved her hands in the air. “But take it easy, mister.” She turned around, bag slung over one shoulder, and she muttered something that sounded like ‘boys!’ under her breath. 

Allen sighed softly, relieved, but smiled at Daisya as the man approached him, eyes worried and brows furrowed in concern. Allen almost sighed again, this time tired, but held it back as the other man looked at Lenalee a last time as she started going down the steel stairs that led to the rocky landscape. 

“Are you sure?” asked Daisya, concern for him clear, and Allen faltered for a moment, before clenching his jaw and nodding. Daisya looked unconvinced. 

“I have a bad feeling,” mumbled Allen, reluctantly, looking out the gate. The sky was as clear as it could get, all a clear grey, but he wasn’t sure that it wouldn’t rain, and a storm wasn’t such a good idea in an open space such as the area they were in. 

Daisya just nodded stiffly after a few seconds of hesitation, and Allen adjusted his bag before following Lenalee to the rocky landscape. 

Like last time, they didn’t really find anything suspicious enough for it to be Innocence involved, but they did see some fish swimming in one of the streams, which was rare to see. Allen himself stayed staring for a few minutes, curious, and he splashed a few times to see how the fish reacted to the movement in the water. They just swimmed faster for a moment before calming down again. 

“What are you thinking about?” asked Allen when he saw the girl staring at the fish and then at the few plants that were around. She hesitated for a moment, but then turned to him.

“What if the Innocence is what keeps them alive?” she said, gesturing to the plants and fish. Allen frowned, but soon nodded. 

“It could be. Still,” he sighed, “we haven’t been able to find it, so there’s no way to know. It could be that the pollution isn’t as severe here as in the rest of the world.”

Lenalee sighed and sat on the ground, next to their bags, thrown in a careless pile in the middle of the ground. The stream had been hidden for them because it was lower down than the rest, and to be honest, they wouldn’t have discovered it if Allen hadn’t nearly fallen down a rock and saw it down there. 

Allen looked around and he reached out for a stone, small and flat, that was lying next to him. It reminded him of what some people did, when they threw the stone at the water and it bounced a few times before plunging down. He wanted to try, even if he failed miserably, so he stood up from his crouch and twisted his arm, feeling Lenalee’s curious gaze on him. Daisya was scouring the nearby crooks for Innocence, but they didn’t really expect much.

He frowned, eye focused on the water a few meters away, and he ignored how his long fringe fell on top of his blind eye, biting his lip before throwing the stone. 

But something startled him, so he ended up throwing the stone too far away and it slammed on the rock in front of him. He ignored it completely, turning around on his heels, eyes wide, Innocence cross blazing, and he saw Lenalee standing up hurriedly before they both took off towards the crook where Daisya had disappeared to moments before.

That had been a scream.

Daisya’s scream.

They ran as fast as they could and at some point Lenalee activated her Innocence in a blur of green sparks, slammed her feet onto the ground and jumped forward, leaving behind a huge crack that threatened to become bigger and much more dangerous as Lenalee zapped through the rocks. Allen sure hoped she would get there fast enough. If there was anyone who could get there on time, that was Lenalee.

But his hope shattered when he turned a corner and saw said girl standing still in the middle of the entrance to a camber, fists clenched by her sides and shoulders too tense. And no Daisya. 

He slowed down, activated his Innocence in a swirl of golden light and white feathers and carefully stood by her side, looking forward with his eyes narrowed and expecting the worst. His heart thumped painfully loud in his ribcage and he could feel how his claw shook. He gazed around the dark cavern, thinking  _ not again, not again, I don’t want to lose anyone again, not so soon, not Daisya, not like this, I was supposed to be strong, why does this happen? _

And then he saw her.

A girl, a child, short, with spiky dark hair, wearing a frilly skirt with stockings and a blouse, standing in the middle of the spacious cavern. And then Allen paused, eyes widening at her dark skin and eyes that were glowing with a cheerful gold he’d seen before.

“Ah, you’re here!” said the girl, too cheerful, and Allen took half a step back, because he knew those eyes. “This is nostalgic, isn’t it? But we don’t have that woman, what was her name…?” The girl twirled, and Allen noticed how she had a pink umbrella clutched in her hands. “Ah, yes, Miranda!”

“How do you know Miranda’s name?” asked Allen before he could stop himself, and Lenalee looked at him with surprise and worry in her dark eyes. The girl’s smile grew into a grin that sent chills down his spine. 

“Ah, Tyki was right,” she said and Allen was tempted to blur out what was going on, he wanted to know for once what was happening, but the girl continued, voice childish, “he even got to meet you before myself! That’s not fair! I wanted to meet you first, like last time! He’s a meanie!”

“What is she talking about?” asked Lenalee in a low voice, but all Allen could do was shake his head, eyes still locked on the girl skipping along the rocks. It was so dark, he couldn’t see anything, where was Daisya? What was happening?

“Oh, well, I did manage to reenact this!” said the girl and she laughed, loud and cold, it was more like a cackle, it echoed all around in a way that was sure to follow him into his dreams. 

She moved her hand, and Allen blinked as sudden light burned at his good eye. He rubbed his eyes with his gloved hand, but he immediately opened them again as Lenalee gasped and fell to the ground beside him. He turned to the light, but he ignored the eerie candles that floated in the air, and the blood that painted the rocks. No. His eyes were locked on the figure in the middle of it all.

Daisya. Hanged upside down, with chains wrapped around his legs and arms. Blood fell down from his hair and hands and Allen felt himself giving up on his life almost immediately when he saw all the blood that painted his grey uniform a dark red. Lenalee sobbed by his side. 

But then she stood up, swayed for a moment, and Allen was too slow to react, eyes still focused sorely in what was probably Daisya’s dead body. That didn’t deter Lenalee, so she jumped in the air, Innocence cracking with fury and sadness, and she cut the chains with a swift kick  that cracked part of the rocky ceiling. 

Allen bit his lip, worried, as he looked over to the Noah, and then he paused, seeing her calmly sitting down on the umbrella that was floating in mid air like the candles that now illuminated the cavern. She only looked at Lenalee from the corner of her eye, amused smile still in place, as the Exorcist jumped back again until she was by Allen’s side again with Daisya’s body clutched in her arms. Still, he didn’t trust the Noah and he didn’t let his gaze away from her. Her smile seemed to widen again.

“I left him alive for now,” she said, and Allen found himself gasping. He heard Lenalee moving around Daisya’s body, searching for a way to buy more time, but the Noah giggled. “He will only live for a few moments, but… he has something to tell you, right? Daisya Barry.”

Allen grimaced, hands shaking, but as the Noah gestured for him to look down at his companions, his shoulders sagged and he let himself look away from her, crouching down by Lenalee’s side as her hands shook and tried to get Daisya out of the chains. It was when Allen managed to throw said chains a few meter away, that he noticed that Daisya was awake. Awake and looking at them with half-lidded eyes that were pained, and worried, and panicked, and full of tears. Lenalee immediately moved to comfort him, but Daisya shook his head, his breath hitching and becoming panicked and sorrowful sobs. 

“Daisya, what is-?” asked Allen, voice hoarse and wavering, and he could feel tears in his eyes, because he’d done it again, hadn’t he? He’d failed again, he’d been too late, like last time, and this time it was Daisya, an Exorcist, one of his friends, the one who had introduced that link between all Exorcists. 

“Time is ticking,” reminded the Noah, and Allen turned his head to her, eyes blazing, glaring at her, but she just grinned, no, she smiled? 

“I have… something to tell you…” said Daisya in such a broken voice that Allen’s glare wavered. He turned to his friend, shoulders hunched, and Lenalee bit her lip.

“Don’t talk Daisya, I’m sure that if we get back to the base, we could…” she said, hurried, words mingling together and Chinese accent slipping through, but Daisya shook his head weakly and Allen didn’t know how he managed, but he smiled, a great contrast to the sobs and tears that still streamed down his face.

“I’m done for, Lena,” he said, and Lenalee lowered her head. “But first, let me… aid you a last time in that investigation of yours…” Daisya closed his eyes. “It will shock you, very much, but I finally remember… I remember everything…” He started crying again, this time harder, his whole body shook in Lenalee’s arms. “Guys… Guys, this isn’t our first life! We were alive years and years ago! We were part of that fucking First Holy War! We were Exorcists!”

Allen’s breath caught in his throat, and even as Lenalee’s arms trembled and Daisya’s still body fell on the cracked ground, the only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat, and the only thing running through his mind were Daisya’s words, over and over and over again.

_ Because it just made so much sense. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there goes Daisya's screentime. And Road came by to say hi! She won't appear for a long while, though, but she'll get a big role later. Like Tyki. And maybe someone else.  
> Comments? Kudos?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	22. Nostalgia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is part of the existential crisis that's gonna last for a while and where our Exorcists start to piece things together!

Allen didn’t know how much he’d been staring at the ground, the cracked ground, which was now stained with red. A red he ignored, he ignored everything, because his mind was reeling or blank or just shut down, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, and Lenalee wasn’t crying anymore and he didn’t know what the Noah was doing at that moment, she could kill them in less than a second and they wouldn’t even  _ move _ .

_ Is this shock?  _

“You’re no fun like this.” The Noah’s voice sounded far away, as if she was under water, but Allen made no movement. He heard her sigh. “I wanted to play with you like the old times,” Allen flinched slightly, “but I guess we can’t, with you two being so shocked and all… What a shame… I really wanted to play with  _ you _ , Allen…”

Allen jumped when something hit his leg. When had he…? He was sitting on the ground, legs folded under him, Innocence deactivated, and face splotchy with the tears he hadn’t even know he was shedding. He tilted his head slightly to the side, eye widening at the Innocence cube that was lying by his side. He frowned and raised his head, locking his wavering gaze on the Noah on the other side of the cave. 

Was it his imagination, maybe his shocked mind, or was the Noah looking at them with real pity? No, no, it couldn’t be, she was, Road was a Noah, they were enemies, and she cared more about her family than them, she- 

_ Road? _

“You can take that, I don’t need it,” she said, nonchalant, and she shrugged slightly, umbrella in hand again. She smiled, maybe childish and playful or maybe genuinely and fond, before an elegant door appeared behind her. A door that Allen had seen before, no, a lot of times. “I hope we meet again, Exorcists.”

She twirled and skipped to the door, which opened immediately, and she walked into the bright light. Allen closed his eyes and rubbed at them, ignoring his tears, and when he opened them again, the door was gone, as were the candles, so the cave was eerily dark and cold. Allen shivered.

“Lenalee?” he asked, and he worried slightly when he didn’t get an answer, not even a rustle of cloth. He reached for the Innocence by his side, hands shaking, but he tried to still them. He bit his lip and called again, “Lenalee, are you okay?”

His fingers closed around the Innocence and he totally forgot that it was the first time he got to see an Innocence in its true form, let alone touch it. But he ignored it all and just brought the substance in front of him as some kind of beacon of light. Lenalee wasn’t answering him and his worry was starting to suffocate him, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that his companion was unharmed. 

Still, Lenalee was immobile, arms around her middle and eyes locked on the ground. Allen didn’t want to look at Daysia’s… corpse, so he just reached out with his other hand and touched the girl on the shoulder. She gasped, as if she had been underwater, and Allen recoiled slightly, before sighing as Lenalee let out a long breath with her eyes closed. 

“We should… move,” said Lenalee and she shook his hand off her shoulder gently, almost hesitant, before standing up straight, eyes stubbornly gazing everywhere but Daysia. Allen could relate. 

Allen nodded and stood up as well, but then he paused. They had to do something about Daysia. Then again… Allen frowned and when Lenalee took a shaky step towards the exit of the cave, he reached out and closed his pale fingers around her arm. She looked back at him, confused and tired, but Allen shook his head.

“We need a plan,” he said, low, because some part of him wanted to think that Daysia was asleep and they shouldn’t wake him up. 

“A plan?” repeated Lenalee and she turned to look at him fully, before grimacing and walking to the tunnel. 

Allen understood in no time and soon they were sitting on the ground, in a place where they wouldn’t really see Daysia or the blood, only the rocks, illuminated by the Innocence’s green glow. Lenalee looked more like herself by the minute and Allen waited patiently for her to get a grip on herself. It helped him do the same, taking deep breaths and focusing on the present and future. 

The problem now was what they would say. Allen was sure that they couldn’t just up and tell everyone about the Noah, it would make the Government doubt them even more, and they weren’t in the best of situations with them to start with. If they knew that they, the Exorcists they did not trust, had been running around searching for secrets, they would do something for sure. Allen knew better than anyone else how distrustful people could be, how they reacted to things they didn’t understand. 

“What did you mean?” asked Lenalee after some minutes of silence. Allen had been rolling the Innocence on his hand, looking at the gears and the green cube at the center. He tilted his head at her. “A ‘plan’, you said.”

“We can’t… “ Allen swallowed the lump in his throat and lowered his head again. “The Government doesn’t know that we  _ know _ about the Noah… I think it would be best to let them keep thinking that.”

Lenalee nodded slightly, eyes focused again, the same determination Allen was used to seeing on her face back, and she bit her lip for a moment, clearly thinking. Allen moved his gaze to the place where they had left Daisya, still fidgeting with the Innocence in his hands.

“We can… make it look as if it was an Akuma,” said Lenalee after some minutes. Allen arched an eyebrow at her. Lenalee fidgeted. “I mean… Maybe damage the place. Make it look as if Daisya was fighting an Akuma, he had the Innocence with him, but the place collapsed when the Akuma was defeated…”

“And we were too late to help,” finished Allen for her, nodding to himself. It would do. Or, well, he hoped it did. “Okay, let’s start. Ready?”

“Not really,” shrugged Lenalee, and Allen smiled slightly, but his heart wasn’t really into it, “but we don’t have a choice, do we?”

They didn’t really know how to make it look like it was an intense battle, so they ended up hitting some walls so that the ceiling of the cave collapsed and hid the blood and chains. Even if they searched and found Daysia’s blood, they would only think it was because of the battle. Allen himself made a few deep dents on some rocks with his claws. He hoped they wouldn’t make the connection. Not many people had seen his Innocence active, and he was quite sure there was no one in that base. 

The worst part was getting Daisya’s Innocence from his corpse, and Allen tried to ignore his companion’s (friend?) still body long enough to get the Innocence shaped like a ball and retreat out of the cave with trembling legs. 

After trying to get a grip on themselves and failing miserably, they set off to the base with heavy steps and Allen clutched the Innocences like his life depended on it, eyes downcast and red. Lenalee wasn’t that much better, and for the hundredth time he hoped they wouldn’t ask too many questions, he wasn’t sure they could keep themselves from saying something they shouldn’t. 

As soon as they got close to the base, people ran to them, shouting and yelling, but Allen didn’t understand any of it. A woman did clutch his shoulders, look at him with concern-filled eyes and he was vaguely aware of saying something along the lines of “Daisya’s dead” to them, before they started talking too fast, in a language he didn’t even know if he understood to start with, and they dragged him to his room.

Allen found himself sitting on his bed just moments later, hands now empty, staring into the wall. Something was flowing down his face, and when he raised his red and scaly hand to his cheek, he was maybe a little surprised to see tears. He didn’t know where Lenalee was, how much time had passed…  _ Is this really shock? _

He was kinda used to shock, after all, with how many shocking experiences he’d had in just a few months after he’d gotten his Innocence and got thrown into that crazy world. It made him miss his old life so much it hurt. It was in moments like those that he forgot how much he wanted to help people, how much he wanted to protect. It made him want to just stand up and go away, to a place where they wouldn’t find him, a place where he could ignore everything he had wanted to learn. Because what he had learned until that moment only managed to chill him to his bones. 

He reached out for his phone and unlocked it quickly, going straight to the chat and typing calmly his simple text.

_ Finish your missions quickly. Daisya is dead. We need to talk. It’s important. _

* * *

 

The trip back to Chicago was spent in silence between Lenalee and him, with both of them sitting on the round sofa far away from the control room and the stares of the curious staff. Allen had barely slept and, from the way Lenalee kept rubbing her red eyes, he hadn’t been the only one. 

When Allen closed his eyes for more than a blink, he could see Daisya lying on the rocky ground of that cave, eyes lifeless and staring at the cracked ceiling, telling them over and over again that they had lived before, that this wasn’t their first life, that they were just echoes. He could hear that Noah’s childish laughter, he could hear her heels clicking on the ground and he could see her playing with the deadly candles, all the while looking at them with a mix of pity and amusement. 

As soon as they walked down the craft’s ramp, Allen’s eyes caught the flashy color of Lavi’s hair and he reached out to close his fingers around Lenalee’s thin wrist, tugging on it until they were close to the redhead. Allen sighed, closed his eyes for a moment, and then nodded to Lavi. He took note of the worry in his green eye and the way his hair seemed even more messy than usual, as if he had been racking his hands through it nonstop ever since he had told them all what had happened. 

“The others are waiting,” said the redhead simply and, after some hesitation, slung his arm around Allen’s shoulders. 

They were completely silent all the way to their secret hiding place. Lavi had taken over and he was now the one to tug on Lenalee’s wrist to led the girl to the basement, all the while steering Allen himself with the arm around his sagged shoulders. 

It was when they finally got to the storage room that Allen finally paused. He hadn’t prepared anything, hadn’t even planned on how to explain what had happened or what they had learned. He could feel Alma’s worried gaze focused on them the moment they walked to the corner where they’ve talked other times and the more experienced Exorcist left the can of mayonnaise on the floor to rush to them. They wasted no time in hugging both of them and, for a moment, Allen let his shoulders fall in exhaustion. 

“What the hell did you mean,  _ Bean sprout _ ?” asked Kanda when they were finally free from Alma’s crushing hug. Allen sighed. 

He plopped down on his usual seat, where he could lean his back on a crate, and raised his head to the ceiling for a few seconds, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes to fight down the anxiety the matter still gave him. Kanda’s eyes were pained, and Allen wondered if he’d had a close relationship with Daisya. Probably. Did he have the same relationship when…?

“You say that Daisya is dead,” murmured Alma, and Kanda huffed, crossing his arms on his chest, Mugen by his side like always, “but you didn’t tell us how…”

“We didn’t want the Government to know,” said Lenalee, and Allen closed his mouth with a click. He hadn’t thought that Lenalee would talk at all. “The circumstances were…”

“Was it a Noah?” asked Lavi, tact, so much tact. Allen grimaced.

“Yes,” he answered. He was glad that his voice didn’t shake. “We covered it up. Officially, in a fight with an Akuma, Daisya was killed by the collapse of the cave.”

“What really happened?” asked Lavi, fidgeting with his Innocence. Allen let his breath out slowly. The redhead frowned. “There’s something you’re not telling us, Al.”

“You’re scaring us, you two,” laughed Alma, but it was shaky and worried, their eyes wouldn’t stop dancing all over the basement, not focusing on anything for more than a few seconds. 

“We were too late,” mumbled Lenalee, and attention focused on her. Her shoulders shook, as well as her hands, but Allen couldn’t move from his place, he was rooted there, tired, so tired, he wanted to sleep and never wake up. “It was a Noah. She had killed him before we even got there, chained him, hung him up, but he was still alive then, and yet… and yet…”

“She said that he had something to tell us,” continued Allen when Lenalee stumbled over her words and had just fallen silent, staring at her hands. His mouth was dry, his eyes were glued to the ceiling, and he ended up closing them. It didn’t help evade the memories. “Just before he died… He told us that… that…” Allen gulped and clenched his jaw.  _ C’mon, just say it _ . “He said that this isn’t our first life.”

There was silence. 

Allen took a few deep breaths before he lowered his head and opened his eyes to see the reactions of his friends. Had they been friends before? Was it that why they…?

“This isn’t our first life?” repeated Lavi, and Allen turned to him, taking note of his shocked green eye, slightly open mouth and paling face. It was the most genuine expression he’d ever seen on him… He would’ve liked it to be another one. “Allen… what do you mean with that?”

“Reincarnation…?” mumbled Alma, and both Lavi and Allen turned to them. They had their head lowered, to the point where all Allen could see was their messy black hair. Their hands were trembling violently, still clutching the Innocence spear.

“We lived years and years ago,” continued Allen, he saw how Lenalee flinched at his words. Ah, true, those were the exact same words that  _ he _ had used. “We were…”

“We were the Exorcists that took part on the First Holy War,” finished Lavi for him, voice just a mere whisper, but in the silence of the room, it echoed. Lenalee flinched again, moved, and hugged her legs to her chest. Lavi lowered his head too, covering his face with his hands, and grunted. “It all makes so much sense, how could we not have figured it out sooner, God, what the hell?”

Lavi continued mumbling to himself while the others stayed in silence. Allen rubbed his eyes with his trembling hands, before letting them fall to his lap. He watched as Alma hugged their spear to their chest, how Kanda looked at them with worried and shocked eyes, how Lenalee cried silently on her knees, how Lavi kept mumbling to himself and messing his hair even more, eye frantic. 

“Is this why… we have that feeling?” asked Alma after some time, Allen didn’t even know how much they’d been there, staring into space and trying to sort out their shocked thoughts. 

“It’s… likely,” answered Lavi with a soft voice that contrasted so much with his usual cheery persona, it made Allen clench his fists. There was another beat of silence, and Allen had already started to drift to another matter of their situation, when Alma continued.

“Then why… do we only get the feeling with some people?” they asked, voice small, and Allen furrowed his brows. Lavi himself paused.

“It’s probably because we didn’t even get to meet the others,” said Kanda, voice bitter but unstable, which was unnerving to Allen because Kanda was usually the one who was most in control of himself most of the time. Alma let out a tiny whimper and Kanda turned to them, alarmed.

Allen’s mind drifted, and he found himself thinking of the people he’d met after getting his Innocence. Getting that feeling of longing and familiarity had became a common thing, but there had been people with which the feeling hadn’t appeared at all, like… Daisya himself.

He smiled self-deprecatingly. So in his past life he hadn’t even met the soccer addict. Had it been easier then, when he’d learned of his death? Or had Daisya died after himself? He shivered. He didn’t want to think of his own death, but he couldn’t help it. But, most of all, he was afraid. Because now it all made sense. 

Those dreams, those strange dreams, no, nightmares that assaulted his mind from time to time… They were his memories, were they not? They were memories from a time long past, from a life he’d had before that one, from a time when the Earth wasn’t destroyed, but in a war nonetheless.

He was going to continue having those dreams, right? Would he remember the people he now knew as they were before? Would he learn things from the past? Would he know who the real enemies were thanks to his memories? 

Would he remember how he died?

...Would he still be the same person when he remembered everything? Or would his original persona swallow him up?

God, he was so  **_scared_ ** .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I rushing this shit? I feel like I'm rushing this shit.  
> Comments? Kudos? Feedback?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	23. The One Who Remembers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's been roughly a year since I started writing this fic... I'm kinda surprised that I've managed to keep my focus on it after all this time. I posted Corona Borealis on the 3rd, so maybe I'll do a double update to celebrate the anniversary. Enjoy!

All of them stayed holed up on their own rooms for a few days. Allen usually sneaked up to the cafeteria at nighttime, when no one was around, and got some food for the day. If he heard or saw someone coming closer, no matter who they were, he just hid until they walked past and he could retreat to his room with no trouble. 

He didn’t even do much except search information about the First Holy War. Lavi himself had slided some papers under his door one day and Allen had hesitated before starting to read them. They told some generic information about the First War, about how they found the Innocence Cube, how the old Central worked. Allen grimaced when the name Lvellie came up and he had to leave the papers on the desk for a few hours. 

Allen hadn’t really slept since the talk. Sure, he had drifted from time to time, but he always snapped awake, shaking and gasping and with Daisya’s corpse still floating in his mind, haunting him, reminding him that he had allowed another comrade to fall from his grasp. 

Still, at the times he got to sleep no nightmares related to what they had dubbed as their ‘last lifes’ assaulted him. After the first sleepless night, he decided to create a new document on his phone, titled ‘echoes’ and started writing a simple description of what nightmares or memories he could remember having.

The one about the wheat field, the one about the snow, the one about a creature surrounded by darkness, the one about that Akuma, the confusion of some of them, the pain of others, the  _ golden eyes _ . It was chilling to realize that sometimes he had lost his grip on reality, like that time in Paris, when he’d had that talk with Lavi. It was unsettling, it was wrong, because he couldn’t  _ control it _ and it scared the hell out of him. 

After getting a grip on his raging thoughts, he started to read the documents Lavi had given him from start to finish, even going as far as to making little notes on his phone about stuff he thought was important. Central. The Cube. The Crow. 

The Crows were in service in their own war, had been for years and years, he didn't even know if they stopped at one point. Oh. Link was a Crow. And he had been able to know that. Without Link telling him anything. Was Link also…? Then, that meant that not only Exorcists could reincarnate. And yeah, he had felt that same longing with others, with some of the scientists and engineers and… 

He wrote ‘we are not the only ones’ in big letters and closed the document with a sigh. 

He couldn’t help but think about the clown that he’d met when he was just a kid. Was he a reincarnation too? Was that an event that was similar to one that happened in his past life? That would be a good reason to get close to the performer, because everyone knew how dangerous Akuma were and how they could take human form. But that clown...

That made him look back at his own past. He had been a kid that just up and told the world that his name was Allen, just like that, because  _ that was what he had been called _ , right? Was Walker his surname in his past life? Was that why it had felt right to  _ call _ himself that? Then he paused. 

That Akuma, the one he encountered when he first got his Innocence and got his scar, it had called him Allen Walker. His blood ran cold. The Akuma were under the Noah and the Earl, for an Akuma to know his name and mention that the Earl knew as well… What were the chances that the Earl remembered all of the old Exorcists’ names? Not many. But what if they were important enough? There had to be a reason for _ them  _ of all Exorcists to come back to life, right? Were they good Exorcists? Did they know more than other people?  _ Why were they there _ ? Were they… part of that final battle? 

He didn’t even know how that battle ended, but he could only deduce that it didn’t end well for them if the Earl was still around and destroying the world little by little, as if it was a game. Maybe that was the reason why they had been cursed to come back. They fucked up at the end, they needed to try again. It was cruel, he thought. 

He threw his phone on the bed and leaned back on the desk chair where he’d been sitting for the past two hours. He had finished reading the papers and his brain was drowning in questions that no one could answer for him. His life had just turned into a mystery that he couldn’t even begin to unravel. He wondered what Cross… Wait. Cross.

His relationship with Cross was complicated at best and horrible at worst. He met him when he had ran away from the orphanage where he’d lived the first 10 years of his life after he had overheard something about taking children to the nearest city because the Government had ‘plans’ for them. He had packed the few clothes he had, he had stolen some money from the pockets of the caretakers and he had sneaked from a window that same night. He had ran (literally) into a tall man with long red hair and they had both stared at each other for a full five minutes, before the man asked him if Allen was smart enough to get him out of some trouble. In exchange, the red man would help him to not get sent to another orphanage. Allen wondered if the same feeling of longing had been what had made them both stay together.

What he knew about that man was… not much. He liked to drink, liked to have loud sex while Allen tried to get swallowed by his own bed, and collected secrets like some people collected DVDs. Allen didn’t know if Cross had any idea about the reincarnation, but knowing him, he probably did. He wanted to search for him, but Cross and him had each gone their own ways even before Allen turned of age. And one thing was for sure: if Cross didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be found. Not even by someone who had lived with him for years. If anything, it would be even more complicated. 

So he didn’t have many options. Wait and see if his dreams shed some light on the situation? Unlikely. Then again, he found himself returning to the same question. Did he really want to remember what had happened? Did that knowledge mean something if he became overwhelmed by his own death?

He sighed for the hundredth time that hour and stood up. He needed to move. Maybe take a walk. It was dark out, the only people awake and about were the overworked scientists and most of them knew to keep their distance and it wasn’t like Allen was going to walk all over the lower floors. He just… yeah.

Then he paused. There was someone who could tell him some answers. Or maybe not, but he was desperate enough to try. So he draped his cardigan over his shoulders and set towards Komui’s office, but not  _ to _ the office. 

The hallways were mostly deserted and the few people that he saw around were either too sleepy or were rushing somewhere, so they didn’t pay him any mind. He was grateful. He knew that the few scientists the group of Exorcists knew were confused and worried about their behavior, but Allen supposed that they were giving them space because they thought that they were just rattled by Daisya’s death, which was true, yes, but not the whole truth. 

They should tell what they had learned to the others, but… it was still too difficult to talk about it. Allen was pretty sure that he couldn’t say another word of it, it hurt too much, it made him realize that it was his reality, that it wasn’t just a bad nightmare from which he would wake from one day. Maybe some time later… but not yet. Until he could share the secret with someone else, they had to carry their burden silently, carefully, not letting anything slip, the Government was suspicious enough of them. 

Komui’s office was empty for once and the code to enter was too easy for him to break through, so he opened the door quietly after looking around and making sure that the cameras weren’t looking at him. He closed the door after him with a soft click and moved silently through the machine parts, discarded tablets and abandoned pieces of paper until he reached the other door. This one was even easier than the other one and he found himself walking above the void of black in no time. 

His heart hammered in his throat, but he gulped down the nervousness and kept walking, he  _ had _ to do this. His hands were trembling slightly when he stepped into the dark platform surrounded by water and he hugged himself, feeling a cold shiver run through him. He could feel it, them, the Innocences, much more strongly than last time, but he didn’t flinch when the enormous form of Hevlaska appeared before him, a mass of white feathers not unlike his own and soft light that hugged the walls. 

“ _Allen Walker_ ,” greeted Hevlaska, voice echoing like a prophecy… uh. “ _To what do I owe your visit in this late hour?_ ”

“Hevlaska,” nodded Allen and frowned slightly. “We have learned something… something that changes everything.” He sighed and he stumbled over his words for a moment, clenching the soft cloth in his fists. “We have learned that we are the reincarnations of the Exorcists from the past war.”  He gulped. “Did you… know about it?”

There was silence between them, tense, it weighted heavily on Allen’s shoulders and closed his throat, but he didn’t back down. He managed to lift his head and look Hevlaska in the face. Then Hevlaska seemed to sigh.

“ _I did_ ,” she said and Allen felt his legs tremble. He didn’t know if it was horror, fear or fury. 

“Why didn’t you…” he trailed off, head lowered again, staring at the dark water. Hevlaska hadn’t said anything about it. Was it to protect them or….?

“ _I’m quite sure that I’m not the only one to think that the Government isn’t what we would call safe_ ,” she answered and Allen bit his lip. That was true, they had said so themselves. And yet…

“We deserved to know…” mumbled Allen, but then he shook his head. “Do you remember our last life?”

“ _I do, some parts_ ,” she answered and Allen found that simple sentence the most human one, full of hesitation. “ _What happened in that war… was a tragedy. A tragedy that may happen again this time_.”

Allen mulled over it for a moment. 

“Do we… Should we want to know what happened?” asked Allen, voice low, almost a whisper, but Hevlaska heard him. 

“ _I’m not one to stop you from seeking the answers you want_ ,” she hummed. “ _But the choice you will need to make if you remember will be hard_.”

“Did we really fail so hard the last time that we had to be reborn to try again?” asked Allen, because if they really failed that one time, then the destruction of the whole world had been their fault. And if that was the case, he didn’t know if they could  _ ever _ make things right again.

“ _It wasn’t your fault_ ,” said Hevlaska, tone so confident that Allen was taken aback. “ _Wherever it was the Noah’s fault or the whole of humanity’s, you Exorcists weren’t to blame about the tragedy that took place_.” Hevlaska’s voice was soft, almost like what a mother would sound like, and her smile was peaceful. “ _Don’t carry everything on your shoulders, Allen Walker_.”  _ Not again _ . 

“Thank you, Hevlaska,” mumbled Allen, head inclined, and he smiled slightly. 

“ _May God bless your path_ ,” said Hevlaska, before nodding to him with respect and turning, waves hitting the platform with a chaotic rhythm, before she disappeared in the water, and with her, the glow. 

Without her glow, the cavern looked ominous and dark, with shadows creeping on him, so he turned and walked quickly back to the familiar office. He took care of leaving everything as he had found it, the door locked and the codes intact, and he hurried down the hallway. 

Hevlaska’s words didn’t ease him fully, but they did help. He could see why she didn’t say anything, even if he hoped that they had learned it from her mouth, rather than the mouth of a dying Daisya. It still left his mind reeling, switching between wanting to know everything that happened and wanting to live in ignorance. Hevlaska herself had said that, were he to remember, a choice would be hard to make. He didn’t know what kind of choice, but her words had sounded solemn, so it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that he had the choice to save the world or not. Something like that. It made him think of those stories of a chosen one. To think that he might be one of those only confused him even more. 

He blinked when he reached his door. Lenalee was standing right outside, hands hid in her sleeves and Kanda by her side like a black knight. He frowned. Did something…? But then she lifted her head when he got closer and she smiled, shaky but genuine, and his shoulders relaxed. 

“We were thinking of watching a movie…” she said, voice small, looking around at the other doors like she expected someone to come out and shush them. “Do you want to come?”

Allen found himself smiling, hands finally relaxing, and he nodded.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels as if I'm talking to myself, it gets kind of boring, so comments would be nice?  
> Twitter: irisinally  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99


	24. Moving Gears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is the day! Happy anniversary! Eh... As I promised, double update... I have to admit I almost forgot because I got caught up in uni stuff but hey!

The movie was horrible. The special effects were shit, the plot was ridiculous and even the actors seemed to be on the verge of laughing out loud half the time. Still, it was nice, thought Allen, cuddled between Lavi and Lenalee, because they didn’t know what would happen if Allen and Kanda were side by side and one of them hit the other accidentally. Allen was pretty sure that Alma had fallen asleep at some point, but nobody made a move to wake them up. 

“I swear, I would make such a great actor,” mumbled Lavi and Allen rolled his eyes. Lavi was the one who slept the most out of all of them, so it was no wonder that he was so sleepy already. “I would be famous and I would invite you all to the premieres of all my movies.”

“I wouldn’t want to watch your movies,” grumbled Kanda, but he wasn’t yelling like usual. Maybe it had to do with Alma asleep next to him. “Just seeing your stupid face everyday is hard enough.”

“Thanks,” murmured Lavi and then his head fell backwards, nearly hitting the wall, and he was out like a light. Lenalee started chuckling when he snored loudly. 

“Fucking idiot,” grumbled Kanda, before rolling on his side. Alma fell on his back, but they didn’t even stir. 

“I guess it’s sleepover night,” giggled Lenalee and Allen chuckled softly. He debated with himself if he should just take out his phone and take a photo of the chaotic pile they had made on Lenalee’s bed, but then Lenalee’s face fell into a serious expression and he frowned. “Are you okay?”

“You… could say that,” he said, because deflecting uncomfortable questions had become a habit for him. Lenalee knew, of course. “Why?”

“When you came back... “ started Lenalee cautiously, “you looked shaken.” Lenalee’s eyes were solemn when her gaze pierced his. “Where were you?”

“I talked with Hevlaska,” mumbled Allen and he sighed, laying down on the bed and staring at the white ceiling. “She said that she knew.” Lenalee gasped softly. “All this time… and she didn’t tell us anything. Then again, as she said, the Government isn’t that safe and they are already suspicious of us.”

“Did she…” whispered Lenalee, laying down too, “...say anything about… you know, what happened?”

“Not really.” Allen closed his eyes. “She only said that there had been a tragedy. And that the destruction of the world as it was… she said that it wasn’t our fault.”

“Then whose…?” asked Lenalee, voice hesitant. Allen couldn’t help the bitter smile that graced his face.

“I wish I knew,” he said, but he didn’t know if he  _ should _ even wish it. He sighed again. “We can’t really do much right now. We can only go forward.”

There was silence between them. Allen tried to remember once more who had told him that, to move forward, but hit a wall again, and wondered for the millionth time if that was something he’d heard in his ‘past life’. He tended to do that, blame every part of him that didn’t make sense on his past life, which only angered him, because that meant that he really was an echo of his past self. 

“Komui said that we would need to start going on missions again soon,” mumbled Lenalee after a few minutes. Allen, who had been drifting, peeked at her shortly through the corner of his good eye. “Do you think… Are the fights going to be different from now on?”

“Why would they be?” asked Allen, closing his eye again. “I don’t think so. We’re the same people we were last month.”

A positive outlook on the situation, but there was nothing they could do. They hadn’t changed overnight. Yes, maybe they were going to have existential crisis from time to time, because their situation was really fucked up, if he said so himself. But they couldn’t stay holed up in their rooms forever, not when a literal war was taking place just outside the building. Not when they needed to make things right. Even if the world hadn’t been destroyed by their own hands, they still failed. The Earl was still around and Earth was so weakened already that it was impossible that it would survive another year like 2012. 

“We’ll make things right, no?” mumbled Lenalee to herself and Allen could do nothing more but to fall silent. 

* * *

 

Komui did ask them to go to his office after a few more days in which they started going out more, talking more. The fire had returned to their eyes, even if they were drowning in doubts and grief. 

Lavi and Lenalee would go to what was Asia and Alma would go with Miranda to Africa. Allen didn’t envy them; Africa was really hot and they would need a lot of protection from the sun, because Africa’s sky wasn’t as polluted, but the atmosphere was still damaged. When it was Allen’s turn, some days after the others, he entered with Kanda, which wasn’t that bad, contrary to what most of the base thought, they could get along when working. But they weren’t alone. Suman’s cold blue eyes glared at them from the sofa in front of Komui’s desk.

“Oh, great,” growled Kanda and, for once, Allen agreed with him.

“You’re here already,” chirped Komui from the desk and Allen turned his head to him, just in time to see the Supervisor shove something that looked suspiciously like a miniature robot in a drawer. Allen arched an eyebrow at him, but Komui’s only answer was to widen his grin. “Take a seat, I’ll be quick.”

Allen made sure to sit on the opposite side from Suman, who only crossed his arms on his chest and glared at the air. Kanda didn’t even sit. There was silence.

“So?” growled Kanda and Allen was tempted to roll his eyes at him. He didn’t, if only because Suman had now closed his eyes and Allen could see his right arm. It looked dark, maybe black, and Allen remembered Daisya mentioning how Suman was a parasitic type like him and how they separated him from his family when he was found to be an Exorcist. He shook his head slightly and looked at Komui again.

“You won’t go far this time, it’s actually pretty close and you will be going by car,” explained Komui and turned his tablet around. “There are some ruins around that area and the highway has been blocked because of Akuma attacks…”

“So our job is to destroy the Akuma,” finished Suman for Komui. The scientist blinked, but smiled again.

“Yes. The car is waiting for you just outside the base,” he explained and they all nodded. 

Suman didn’t even say anything before he left, steps hurried, and Allen stared after him. He was curious about him because he didn’t seem like a bad guy, he was just… cold towards them, really. Maybe it was because he thought that they weren’t good enough, that they were too young. Or maybe it was because they reminded him of his family…

“C’mon, Beansprout,” growled Kanda and Allen glared at him. He stood up, nonetheless. “He’s going to leave without us at this rate.”

And so, Kanda walked over to the door, arms still crossed over his chest. Allen sighed softly. He hesitated for a moment before turning back to Komui with a small smile. Komui looked at him, confused, hand reaching out for the drawer in which he had hid his robot. 

“After this mission,” said Allen and Komui must have caught the serious undertone to his voice, because he leaned forward, “we need to talk. About Daisya.”

“Of course,” answered Komui and, even if he was smiling, Allen could see the worry in his eyes, the confusion. “Good luck.”

Allen nodded again, before turning and walking out the door. He paused just after the door had closed behind him and jumped when somebody touched his arm. He turned to the person, muscles tense and eye blazing, ready to defend himself, but then stopped. It was only Johnny. A worried looking Johnny.

“I heard what you said to Komui,” he explained, hands restlessly fidgeting with his sleeves. “What…?”

“Don’t worry,” said Allen and tried to smile at him, a perfectly calm smile that would put at ease the stressed out scientist. “I’ll tell you too. We… we haven’t said anything about it yet, it’s… complicated.”

“Okay then,” answered Johnny, voice soft, and Allen cloud see clear as day how he hesitated. His smile turned genuine. Johnny’s eyes were determined when he lifted his head to look at him. “Stay safe. We’ll be waiting.”

“Of course,” nodded Allen and when Johnny raised his hand, Allen didn’t hesitate to give him a high-five. 

Kanda was waiting for him with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning back on the wall a few meters away from the office’s door. Alma had already left minutes before and, like always, Kanda became much more taciturn. More on edge. Allen supposed it was because of the years they had spent apart. He didn’t know much about their story, other than what they had learned that day in Manchester what seemed like a lifetime ago and what they had witnessed when they reunited at the base. 

“That stupid rabbit is sending photos in the chat,” growled Kanda when Allen was close enough. He arched an eyebrow. Kanda rolled his eyes, pocketing his phone and standing up again, dark eyes glaring at the wall. “Stupid photos.”

Allen walked behind him, curious about the photos Kanda was talking about, so he took out his own phone and took a look at the chat which changed name every day thanks to Lavi, Alma and sometimes even Allen himself. Allen snorted. Yeah, definitely Lavi’s photos. One of the pilots of the craft they were in had fallen asleep, so the photos depicted a cheerful Lavi placing objects on the poor man’s face, each one more ridiculous than the last. The last photo was of Lavi trying to keep the tower of bread pieces from falling down. He sent an enthusiastic thumbs-up. He knew that all of them would return that day, maybe in a few hours, so he was mostly upbeat about his own mission. 

The black car was big enough that the three of them could sit comfortably without touching the rest, so Allen ignored the tension inside it in favor of looking out the window at the empty landscape and grey sky. Komui had said that the ruins weren’t exactly far, so maybe they wouldn’t even go through the shelter nearby. Allen didn’t know if it was for the better. 

When the car stopped, Allen hesitated before opening the door. There was something in the air, something dark. Like that time when he encountered his first Noah, Tyki… Mikk… He had called him by name, hadn’t he? It must have been his memories. That sent a shiver through him. 

He opened the door at the same time as Kanda, but he did throw a ‘thanks’ to the driver, who smiled nervously back at him. Suman did the same, maybe more curt, before slamming the door closed after him and gesturing for the driver to go. Allen tilted his head, then shrugged. He supposed it wouldn’t be a good idea for a civilian to stay at a place that was most likely going to become a battlefield in just a few minutes. 

“We should stick close,” said Suman, voice serious but not hostile, and Allen tried to remember if the Exorcist had talked to them like that before. He gave up after a few seconds of nothing. “These Akuma... “

“There’s something dark here,” said Kanda, voice thoughtful but harsh. Allen lowered his head slightly and Kanda looked at him. His eyes narrowed. Allen hid a nod. 

Suman led the way, boots crunching when they stepped over rocks. There was still some green on the ground, but it wasn’t grass. Grass had disappeared almost everywhere, with only a few exceptions on the northern countries. The ruins, which Allen had thought would be from a destroyed factory or industrial building, were from a tower. From the amount of broken glass and the dented and bended metal, Allen could deduce that the tower had been really tall. (torre willis)

“Beansprout,” called Kanda from behind some bended pieces of metal. Allen, who had been looking over some demolished walls, ignored him. He could hear Kanda clicking his tongue. “Beansprout!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, JerKanda,” commented Allen, not looking up from the destroyed remains. He raised his hands and furrowed his brows when he couldn’t reach the edge of the destroyed wall. He wasn’t that short anymore, goddamnit, he wasn’t even short in the first place. “There’s no Beansprouts here. The polluted air must be getting to you. You should check it out, I’m concerned.”

“Yeah, maybe you should have yourself checked as well,” grumbled Kanda, walkin around the metal and glaring at him. Allen huffed and jumped, gripping the edge of the collapsed wall and swinging to be able to stand on it. “For your stupidness.” Then he scrunched up his nose. “Think you can climb up there?” 

Allen looked down at him, then up when the other man pointed with his head to a piece of metal that was bended slightly. Allen turned his head, searching for places where he could land, from where he could jump from and where he could grip. It wouldn’t be that difficult, but there were parts of the metal that were corroded, probably because of the acid rain. 

“Probably,” he said, then he jumped from his perch on the wall, walking to the structure and inspecting the side with a cautious eye. 

Suman came closer to them when Allen had made the first move to start climbing the metal piece under Kanda’s watchful gaze. Allen didn’t pay him much mind, focused on the task at hand, which was: not falling down and break his head. He reached out with a hand towards the nearby piece, white eyebrows pinched, when Suman started talking. 

“Daisya…” said Suman and Allen was tempted to turn his head around and look at him with wide eyes, “he talked about how you know some things that are of extreme importance for this war.” There was a pause and Allen’s hand faltered, before he gripped firmly the next wall and heaved himself up. “Don’t you think that’s a job for we older Exorcists? This doesn’t concern you.”

“I think it concerns us just as much as you,” growled Kanda and Allen could see him glaring with blazing eyes at the other man. He sighed. 

“You’re too young for this!” snapped Suman. Ah, so that was it. “The Government is no laughing matter! They’re already suspicious of you. What makes you think they won’t hurt you if they find out that you’ve been snooping around?” Suman took a deep breath. “What even do you know? You haven’t said anything.”

“We know quite a lot,” said Allen and Suman fell quiet, probably staring at him. He gripped the next metal piece and jumped on it, turning around with perfect balance that was like second nature to him. He gazed straight into Suman’s eyes. “Believe me, we know some important things that explain the war. As you said, though…”

“The Government isn’t the most truthful,” snapped Kanda, glaring at the ground. 

Suman was quiet for a few more seconds, so Allen let out his breath slowly before turning and continuing climbing, hands stained with grease and dust and sand. The nagging feeling was back, though, so he climbed slower, trying to sharpen his senses, trying to narrow it down. This time he wouldn’t fail. This time they would all return in one piece, they would return alive and well and they would continue fighting with all their might. 

“This knowledge…” started Suman again and Allen stopped entirely, “would it change the course of this war?”

Allen opened his mouth to answer, a definitive yes, because to know what,  _ who _ , they were fighting, who  _ they _ themselves were, changed  _ everything _ . But he froze. That dark feeling… it was close. So very close. It was just like the last two times… no, that time in Manchester… he had been able to sense him too…

“Yes, it would,” said a female voice, cold and firm, cutting, like the ice that cracked open the ground, “that is why I need to kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments would be nice, ya know?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	25. The Noah of Lust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A DOUBLE UPDATE, so if you haven't read chap 24... you should.

Kanda was the fastest, activating his Innocence with just a thought and redirecting the whip towards the ruins, instead of Suman. Allen, heart thumping painfully against his ribs, started climbing down, hands trembling and Innocence screaming in his mind. 

“Who…?” yelled Suman, taking a step backwards until his back was against a destroyed wall. The whip disappeared for a moment, and Kanda retreated slightly, sword at the ready and sharp eyes gazing around.

Allen managed to jump from where he was without hurting himself with the landing and hurried to the other two. The warm glow of his Innocence embraced him while he walked and he could see how Suman eyed him curiously. The comforting weight of his claw made him take a deep breath, sand and dust scratching his throat, before reaching out and gripping Suman’s arm firmly. 

“You explain, Beansprout,” said Kanda and Allen turned to him, mouth open to reprimand him and yell at him to wait, but Kanda jumped into action, just in time to stop another whip from hitting them all. “Do it.”

Allen huffed softly, but didn’t complain when Kanda started deflecting the whips and walking forward, eyes focused on the place where the Noah seemed to be. He turned to Suman again, who was staring at Kanda with surprise and shock and fear, and he shook his arm to get his attention. Suman’s alarmed eyes focused on his. 

“That,” started Allen, pointing at the source of the whips and the dark aura that suffocated them, “is a Noah. They are the ones in control of the Akuma. They are extremely dangerous and strong.”

Allen waited for a few seconds that seemed like hours, waiting for Suman to give signs of understanding, but the man finally nodded and gulped. His eyes gazed to where Kanda was now fighting with his two light swords, face pinching in worry and terror. 

“We’re dead, aren’t we?” he said in a small voice and Allen frowned. He knew better than anyone else how powerful the Noah were, seeing as he had encountered two already. But…

“No,” said Allen, tone firm, and Suman looked back at him with surprise. And doubts. Allen gulped, gazing shortly at Kanda, before focusing again in Suman. “I can’t say much right now, we don’t have time, but they are not invincible. We can defeat them.”

_ We might have defeated them once, why couldn’t we do it another time? _

Suman still looked hesitant, completely terrified, and Allen tried to put himself in his shoes. A veteran Exorcist who didn’t even want to fight, separated from his family and forced to fight for a crumbling world. And suddenly, there was a new enemy, a stronger and more dangerous enemy that he didn’t even know existed until the new enemy tried to kill him in cold blood. 

Kanda was sent backwards, boots slipping on the sand, and Allen heard him growling, irritated and tired. Allen shoved Suman out of the way when a whip managed to get through Kanda’s steely defense and the man braced himself against a wall, blue eyes focusing on the approaching figure. 

“If you’re done with your class, get your ass here and fight,” grumbled Kanda, wiping his forehead from the sweat and dust. Allen rolled his eyes, but walked closer to him, claw ready and arms tense, watching with a careful gaze the new Noah. 

The Noah was female, with long dark hair that hid the stigmata on her forehead and the golden eyes that had appeared so many times in Allen’s nightmares. Allen did a double take when he saw her arms, because they weren’t arms, they were the white whips she’d been using to fight them. He frowned. A shape-shifter? 

It became clear when the woman’s form wavered and Allen raised his gloved hand to his good eye, rubbing, even though there were no tears to get rid of. Kanda mumbled something under his breath and Allen sensed more than heard Suman finally activating his Innocence. 

Then the woman was gone and in her stead, there was an animal… Lioness, perhaps? And it roared and Allen felt his limbs freeze into place and he could only let out a short breath as the lion ran towards them, dark claws ready to tear into them and white teeth shining. 

“Move!” yelled Kanda and Allen could only flinch as the other Exorcist grabbed him by the hood of his Innocence and dragged him to the side, just in time to evade the lion’s lunge. Allen fell on the ground a few meters away, eyes still wide and staring at the lion as it gazed at them with its golden eyes. Kanda clicked his tongue. “What the hell was that, Beansprout?”

“I…” mumbled Allen, then yelped when Mugen’s hilt hit him on the head. He whipped his head back, glaring at the Exorcist, but Kanda was watching the lioness. 

“Don’t space out in the middle of battle,” said Kanda gruffly, and Allen huffed softly before standing up shakily. “Past memories won’t mean anything if you’re dead.”

Allen blinked at Kanda’s words, caught off guard, and he turned his head to the side so he could look at his companion with his good eye, but Kanda growled and raised his sword again. Allen turned to the lioness again, a pang of fear making him pause again, before he raised his own claw in a defensive stance. Suman was still against the wall, looking at the lioness with terror, and Allen felt worry clashing with his own fear. 

That lioness… he was scared of it. It wasn’t that he knew much about the now extinct lions, not even that it was a Noah. That meant that the fear came from  _ before _ , before he was born, and Kanda was right, he would have time to brood over this information when they got the  _ hell _ out from that predicament. 

The lioness took a threatening step towards Suman and Allen’s heart jumped in his throat. Would Suman be able to take her on? Probably not, if the trembling of his hands was any indication. So he readied his cape, eyes fierce even if they gazed with hesitation at the lioness. The edge of his cape sharpened, the soft feathers turning menacing and deadly, and he flexed his legs, ready to jump. 

The Noah did attack Suman in that moment. She lunged, her claws leaving deep cuts on the sand, jaw open and ready to kill. But Suman didn’t stay rooted to the spot like Allen had thought. When he moved his arm in a violent arc in front of him the wind followed him as if he was the conductor and Allen had to cover his eyes to avoid the sand that whipped around them. He heard more than saw the wind whipping around them and push the lioness back until the Noah was sent flying through the air and fell down on the ground a few meters farther. 

Allen used his cape to clear the dusty air around them and followed Kanda when he started running towards a gasping Suman. Allen searched his face and relaxed slightly when he didn’t see any pain in his eyes, only fear and alertness. No blood that he could see either. 

“You okay?” he asked, voice ragged because of the dust, and Suman nodded shakily, before raising his hands by his sides again. 

“What should we do with her?” Allen bit his lip at his question. To be honest, he didn’t know. It had been such a sudden attack, he didn’t even know if they were going to get out of trouble if they got out of that battle alive- “Should we push her back?”

“Are we even able to do that?” growled Kanda from the front, sword at the ready and dark eyes staring at the lioness that was sharpening her claws on the rubble. 

“I don’t-” started to sigh Allen, but cut himself off when the lioness lunged at them again, changing her form in the air like a mirage. 

Suman grabbed his arm in a bruising grip and dragged him to the side, just in time for a white whip to slam on the wall that had been behind them seconds before. Allen stumbled on the debris around them as the two struggled to put distance between them and the Noah. Kanda had jumped to the other side and was currently defending himself from the powerful slashes from the Noah. They didn’t have much time. 

“Do you know a weakness or something?” asked Suman and Allen blinked, focusing his good eye on him. Suman raised his hand, ready to defend, just in case. “You lot know something the other Exorcists don’t. There should be some kind of solution for this in your head, right?"

Allen furrowed his brows, reviewing for the hundredth time the information that Lavi had sent him, whatever he could remember from his other meeting with other Noah, but came up short. He wished to remember his past life, if only to figure how to get out of there alive, but no matter how many times he beat his mind, that invisible wall still blocked the way. It was  _ frustrating _ . He felt  _ useless _ . They would die, just because they couldn’t-

The Noah slammed Kanda against a wall and Allen felt his blood run cold when he saw his companion’s dazed look, before the Noah murmured something to him, grabbed him by the collar and ripped it with a violent flick of her wrist so that Kanda’s chest was visible. 

Allen pushed Suman forward and the other Exorcist nodded to himself, before slashing his hand through the air and sending a furious gust of wind at them. Allen bit his lip again, readying his claw. He tasted blood this time. 

The Noah seemed to nod to herself, before she turned her cold gold eyes to them for a second. She seemed to focus more on Allen himself and he almost paused in his run when he took note of the furious storm in her eyes. It was directed at him. A two century old grudge.

The Noah grabbed Kanda’s collar again and Allen tried to run faster, boots slipping on the sand and eyes focused on her. He wasn’t going to make it, was he? Of course not. 

Allen could only watch as the Noah lifted Kanda with just one hand and threw him like garbage against a wall a few meters away from her. Kanda fell down on the ground and didn’t get up. And Allen saw red. 

He raised his clawed hand, eyes focused on the Noah, and he stopped in the middle of the wreckage, gasping for breath. Suman paused a few steps behind him, worried eyes gazing at Allen and Kanda and then at the Noah. 

The fact that she was still as calm as before unnerved and angered Allen as he watched her dust off her long jacket. But he didn’t attack. Not yet.

“You know who we are, don’t you?” he asked her, voice calm, hiding the real nervousness he felt, the anger coursing through his veins. The Noah tilted her head, eyes glinting with curiosity for once. 

“Yes,” she said, voice calm and soft but with a threatening undertone that sent alarms through Allen’s mind. “Although, you don’t know who I am.”

It was stated as fact and Allen sighed softly. They were really at a disadvantage. If the Noah knew who they were, chances were that they had already fought against them in the past war and so, they would know how to defeat them. They were probably the ones that defeated them last time too. 

That didn’t mean that Allen would just give up. This time he would win. He slashed the air in front of him with his claw and watched with a small smirk as the Noah stumbled to dodge the golden slashes that sped towards her. Her grace was gone and in its instead there was only fury. Her eyes were blazing. 

“Was that a good idea…?” grumbled Suman from behind him. Allen was about to answer, but the Noah lunged for him.

Her arms were two sharp blades now and Allen pushed Suman back, stopping her violent blow with his claws. His arm shook. He gritted his teeth and pushed back against her, heels diggin in the sand. Her stance faltered for a second and Allen twisted his arm to push her back, kicking her on the torso in a way that resembled what Tyki had done that one time in Australia. 

She didn’t waste time and lunged again and yeah, she was really strong. Her blows left Allen’s arms tingling from the hits and she sometimes moved so fast that Allen could hardly follow her with his eye. Suman was helpful, but not much use in a close combat fight, so he perched on top of a destroyed wall and tried to make the Noah lose her balance with powerful gusts of wind. 

Just a few minutes later, Allen was already gasping for breath and struggling to keep up with the woman. He didn’t doubt that he had quite a few bruises, specially on his arms, but he was quite proud to notice a few gashes on the Noah that were bleeding and staining her clothes. 

The only things they knew for sure about the Noah were that they were on the Earl’s side and that their weakness was Innocence, just like how Dark Matter was the Exorcists’ weakness. The two opposing matters destroyed each other or, at least, that was what Lavi had said. And so, it was no wonder he had been able to actually hurt the Noah. 

But he wasn’t lucky, never had been, and he was  _ so tired _ . The Noah wasted no time to make a cut on his right arm when he faltered and he almost lost his footing when his leg trembled under the exhaustion that was numbing him by the minute. Suman had yelled something to him and a few seconds later a strong gust of wind pushed the Noah back again. But she was too close for Allen to catch his breath. 

The Noah tried to kick his legs from under him but he managed to jump to avoid it, just to be kicked and sent flying against a wall. The back of his head hit the cement and he bit his tongue with the impact. He raised a hand to his head, completely dazed, and he spit blood onto the ground. 

He knew he had to focus on reality, but he  _ couldn’t _ , so he tried closing and opening his eyes. His sight remained blurry and he growled. He felt nausea taking a hold of him. He slumped back against the wall, using it to somehow lift his head. 

Panic made his heart beat faster as his sluggish brain remembered that he had left Suman on his own, with no backup and he raised his claw-no, red hand to grip at the cracks on the wall and try to pull himself up. He wouldn’t,  _ couldn’t _ , have even more blood on his hands. He couldn’t lose anyone else. He  _ wouldn’t. _

“Please!” Someone was begging and he narrowed his eyes at the two silhouettes that were ahead of him. “Please, I don’t want to die! I need to see them! My family… I’ll do anything you want.”  _ Sounds familiar... _ “Just please… Don’t kill me.”

He finally managed to stand up on his shaky legs and he braced himself against the wall. He blinked several times to clear his vision from the annoying spots before he took the first step. 

“Are you willing to give us information?” asked the Noah, voice cold, chilling, and Allen shivered. He had heard something similar before…

“Yes!” Suman? “I can give you Exorcists’ position and-and…”

“Would you give us information about the people like them?” Allen was awfully aware of who _ those _ people were. Would Suman betray them…?

“I- yes! Of course!” Allen bit his lip and stumbled on a broken rafter, falling down on the ground with a groan. No, no, this shouldn’t be happening…

“Suman…” he called, voice hoarse. He coughed and spit blood on the ground, before trying once again to stand up. “Don’t say that… You’ll Fall...”

“Then start talking,” said the Noah and Allen braced himself against another wall. He was close, but not close enough. His sight was still blurry, but there was no way for him to not recognize the two shapes in front of him. “We don’t have much time.”

Allen rubbed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Suman was kneeling on the ground, hugging himself, and his Innocence was inactive, but Allen knew that it wouldn’t matter once Suman started talking. He had to hurry, he had to…

He tilted his head and then dived behind some destroyed rafters when the Noah moved her head. He was close to Kanda, maybe he could wake him up? Now he wished he had talked Johnny into giving him those shots that helped to wake someone up from brain trauma for a short while. 

He tried nonetheless, crawling around the dust and sand until he could hide himself behind some walls. He reached out and shook Kanda’s shoulders, biting his lip and looking to Suman from time to time. This was bad, this was bad… Suman was saying something, too quiet for him to hear, but the Noah wasn’t really listening to him, instead looking around them with a cold gaze. She was looking for him. 

“Kanda, you asshole, c’mon, can’t you read the mood here?” he hissed. The Noah turned to Suman and Allen nearly cursed out loud. He raised his hand and brought it down quickly, punching Kanda straight in the face. “Wake up already, you idiot!”

Kanda shot up, growling at him and mumbling insults under his breath, touching his face with a trembling hand. He glared at him with the intensity of the sun, but Allen shook his head, lips in a thin line, and nodded to Suman and the Noah. Kanda’s eyes widened and he struggled to get up, slipping in the sand. Allen followed suit, but then he paused. 

Everything was quiet. 

He couldn’t hear Suman talking, and the Noah wasn’t talking either, and that only meant that something was horribly wrong. And he already knew what it was. 

He turned slowly, brows furrowed and hands trembling, and focused his still blurry sight on Suman’s motionless form. Kanda took a few steps towards them, sword lowered for the moment, but arm tense. 

The Noah clicked her tongue, annoyed and turned her head away, dark hair swinging with the movement. 

“Time ran out…” she mumbled to herself, “better get out of here before it awakens completely.”

Allen didn’t even watch her run away from the place, because Suman was moving. But it was wrong. His mouth was open, but no sound was coming out of it, a silent scream full of pain and ,when he lifted his head, Allen cringed when he saw his bloodshot eyes. 

_ Were we too late? _

“Beansprout!” shouted Kanda and Allen jumped, wide eyes focusing on his companion with worry and panic. The other Exorcist’s face was set in a grimace. “Maybe we’re not too late.”

“Uh?” was Allen’s intelligent reply because, what the hell, they were clearly out of time. “What are you…?”

“Think about it,” said Kanda as he started running towards a writhing Suman. Allen followed him, but his mind was reeling, stumbling on his own thoughts time and time again, trying to find  _ something _ that could work, he wouldn’t be able to bear this new burden. “The Innocence has changed somewhat this time, hasn’t it?”

“The colors…” mumbled Allen. Kanda was now gripping Suman’s shoulders as he pushed the man into the ground, dodging his blind hits and ignoring the gurgling sound that was coming from his throat. Suman’s veins were a weird green color and were bulging out on his neck.  _ A Green Type _ ... “Maybe we have a chance…”

“What should we do?” growled Kanda. His fingers twitched to just end it all with Mugen, but Allen knew that he wasn’t that heartless. “Cut off his arm?”

A flash. A forest. A huge form destroying everything in its path. 

“Cut it off,” he choked out. Kanda blinks at him, taken aback, but Suman’s struggling became stronger, the veins looked as if they would burst at any second, and he nodded. 

Allen took his place immobilising Suman as Kanda took hold of Mugen again, hands still shaking but eyes fierce and determined. Allen gritted his teeth, narrowing his eyes, and he struggled to get Suman’s right arm straight enough for Kanda to do a clean cut without endangering Suman more than necessary. He didn’t want Kanda to accidentally chop Suman’s head off. 

_ Suman didn’t betray us! _

Kanda raised his sword high and the blade glinted.

_ He was just scared. He didn’t do anything wrong!  _

Kanda’s sword came down and cut Suman’s arm off quickly. 

_ He didn’t do anything wrong, not this time. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, now that this fic is quite big, I was wondering if I should maybe title the chapters or add a key for the arcs in the description itself or something??? Pls let me know what you think??  
> Comments would be nice to keep this motivation running for another year, ya know?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


	26. Freefall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Happy New Year! (The dgm fandom sure is slow these days geez)  
> I'll name the chaps... when I think of good titles for them, I guess.

“Just like last time, we won’t say anything about the Noah.” Allen’s voice was quiet, but his companion heard him perfectly in the silence that enveloped the ruins. 

“It was all just an Akuma,” nodded Kanda from his seat a couple meters away from Allen and Suman. 

The car to bring them back to the base would come as soon as Allen sent the okay with his phone. He had it in his hands, but hadn’t come around to send the message. They had to be careful with the Government and its higher ups, seeing as they found them especially suspicious. And dealin with diplomatic matters wasn’t the best idea when they could just lock them up and torture the truth out of them. The truth that couldn’t get to their ears no matter what. 

“Send the damn signal already, Beansprout,” grumbled Kanda. “I want to get out of here.”

“Impatient much?” asked Allen, but he pressed the call button. He wished to get out of there as soon as possible too. 

He tilted his head to look at Suman. He had fallen unconscious as soon as the arm was cut off. The veins in his neck had turned back to normal and his face looked almost peaceful. Kanda had teared off part of his uniform coat to patch up the bleeding wound on his shoulder as best as he could and the messy cloth was a dark color almost the same one as the arm that was laying on the ground nearby. 

Allen had kicked the arm far from Suman just after it had been cut off, scared that the Innocence would do something freaky and maybe sprout some legs and just walk back to Suman to continue making him feel pain until he Fell. Kanda had told him how much of an idiot he was for thinking that at least five times, but Allen had ignored him completely. When he had made sure that Suman wouldn’t die from blood loss anytime soon and he had calmed down, he had approached the limb with cautious movements and with his Innocence ready to activate. 

It looked just the same as before, but the Innocence was separate from it. It glowed a soft green that would have been almost comforting if Allen hadn’t known how it had tried to kill its own companion just moments before. He wondered if he had seen Innocence in its pure form before, but hit a blank, even if his mind told him he had. He decided to pocket the Innocence and give it back to Hevlaska when they returned. 

The car was fast to arrive and when the chauffeur saw them dragging the still unconscious Suman, he bolted out of the car and helped them lay the man on the backseat. Kanda arched an eyebrow at Allen before opening the door on the front and climbing in, leaving Allen to watch over Suman in the back. 

The driver kept shooting nervous glances to them all as he drove. It was clear how much he wanted to ask them what had happened, but everytime he opened his mouth he closed it after a few seconds and remained silent. Allen felt a bit sorry for him, because he could see that he was genuinely concerned for them, but he was too busy calming Lenalee down via text. He wasn’t as successful as he’d have liked, so of course she called him. 

“Are you okay?” came Lenalee’s breathless voice and Allen grimaced, but ended up smiling softly.

“A little banged up, but we’re okay,” he said and he heard Lenalee take a deep breath. “Really, we’re okay. Eh…” He paused for a moment, looking at Suman for a moment. He glanced at the driver and then at the rest of the inside of the car. He couldn’t help feeling somewhat suspicious. “It would be a good idea to talk with your brother. You know, as always.”

“I’ll tell him,” answered Lenalee and Allen let himself let out a breath he didn’t notice he’d been holding. “Should I tell Reever and Johnny too?”

“Yes, tell them,” he agreed easily, nodding to himself. This was a better time as any. Kanda moved around the front seat and, when Allen lifted his head from where he’d been staring at the ground, their eyes met. Kanda nodded slightly. Allen moved his gaze to the window and the dark landscape that was speeding around them. “We’ll see you in a bit, Lenalee.”

“You better,” was the last thing she said, a teasing tone that hid a dangerous seriousness that only Lenalee could make it work, before she hung up. Allen chuckled lightly and pocketed his phone again.

Maybe he dozed off at some point, or maybe he was just too lost in his own mind, but they were back at the base in no time at all. Allen moved slowly, sluggishly, and he almost ran into the man that was waiting outside the car. Allen took note of his half-lidded eyes, the way he was leaning to the side and the way he kept covering his mouth with his hand to hide his yawns. He smiled calmly to him and walked to the door as Kanda opened his car door and got out of the vehicle. The man’s eyes went wide when he finally noticed the unconscious Suman in the backseat and the panicked chauffeur that was getting out of the car and stumbling over his own feet. 

“W-what…?” stuttered the man, running to the car with shaking hands. Allen’s smile widened, perfectly measured to calm him down. 

“He’s fine,” he said in an even voice and the man turned to him, looking at him as if he was crazy. “He needs a doctor, but he shouldn’t be in mortal peril.” 

The man seemed somewhat reassured with his smile and his words, but he was still in shock. That is, until Kanda hit him with the hilt of his sword when he passed by, knocking him back to the present. He immediately began yelling at the driver to get some help while he looked over the injured Exorcist. 

“We’re meeting Komui now, right?” huffed Kanda when they were a few meters away from the chaos. They wouldn’t be able to hear them, but they needed to be careful about the cameras. 

“Yes,” answered Allen shortly. “Johnny and Reever too.”

Kanda only grunted in response. Allen knew the way by heart by now. All their meetings were usually at that storage room because it was the only place where they were sure that no one could listen on their conversations. They still met on their rooms, but they were cautious with what they said and always watched their words. Surprisingly, it was Lavi the one who was better at concealing his true intentions. 

Allen cringed when he moved and a wave of dizziness hit him, but Kanda managed to grab his arm and drag him through the door and into the room. Allen closed his eyes for a moment, but let Kanda guide him for a few steps, before opening them again and moving on his own towards their corner. Lenalee’s careful hands were there in a second and she helped him sit down on his usual spot. He knew he had a concussion, he always ended up with a concussion, but this was important and he wouldn’t be able to rest easy or stay in bed like they would want him to if he went to the infirmary. He would go later. His companions would make sure of that.

“Well, no fatal injuries,” chuckled Lavi from his spot and Allen was tempted to roll his eyes, but didn’t. “They didn’t lie about that, Lena.”

“You wanted to talk with us, though,” said Komui from somewhere at his left and Allen tilted his head to look at him. Reever was by his side, like always, and Johnny, who had stayed back as Kanda and himself seated on the floor, crawled towards him quickly.

“We’ve kept you in the dark long enough, I think,” smiled Allen. Komui’s face pinched in worry. 

“Are you really okay?” asked Johnny. He reached out and put a hand on Allen’s shoulder, careful and warm, watching him with worry. “Shouldn’t you go to the infirmary?”

“It’s just a concussion,” he said and widened his smile, trying to get his friend at ease. Johnny only furrowed his brows. Allen, tired from all that happened just hours before, couldn’t hold his smile up and let it drop. He sighed. “Where should we start…?” Then he remembered. “Did you read what I wrote?”

“Those secrets from the War?” asked Reever, grimacing. “We did. To think that they would hide something like that from us…”

“That’s not all, though,” laughed humorlessly Lavi. Komui sent a worried  glance at him, before his dark eyes focused on his sister. Lenalee fidgeted with the sleeves of her blouse. 

“Maybe you should start with what happened today,” she said in a quiet voice tinted with worry. Allen nodded. They could continue with the grand reveal from there. 

He was kinda nervous, behind the curtain of blurriness that was caused by his concussion. He wouldn’t say that he was scared of them, of their reaction, but… maybe of what they would think of them. Would they think they were fragile glass that would break at any moment? Would they think they were insane? Even their world of killing machines should have a limit. And reincarnation was crazy enough to be it. 

“To summarize…” started Kanda, surprisingly, and Allen tilted his head, watching calmly as the older boy crossed his arms over his chest, Mugen and Alma by his side like always, “there was a Noah. She knocked the Beansprout and I out and she talked to Suman.”

“And then Suman begged for his life,” continued Allen, voice tight. He was sure that, should things have turned for the worst that time, his nightmares would have been a hundred times worse than they were going to be anyway. “He almost Fell.” He made a pause when he heard Lenalee and Alma’s gasps of horror, how Komui almost stood up, and Johnny reached out for him, closing his fingers around Allen’s arm. “He’s okay. He’s alive. We managed to cut his arm off before it was too late.”

“It worked?” was Komui’s surprised question and this time he did stand up to pace around. 

“It worked,” nodded Allen, and if his hands twitched only Johnny would know. “We didn’t have that much time to think it through, but well… the Innocence is different this time, right?”

“That is true…” mumbled Komui, hand under his chin.

“We’ve taken a look at the data we have from these newly awakened Innocences and we compared them to what little information we have on the older ones,” commented Reever and all eyes turned to him. He shrugged awkwardly. “There weren’t many differences, but the energy levels through the Types varied... The Green Type is the one that gives off the lowest radiation, or the lowest energy.”

“And the others?” asked Lavi, eye focused on the scientists. 

“The Blue Type is the one after Green, then Red and finally…” Reever’s eyes focused on Allen and he closed his eyes, resigned, “the Golden Type is rare, we only have Allen’s example… and Hevlaska’s. It is the Type that radiates the most energy.”

“That doesn’t mean that the Golden Type is the most powerful one,” commented Komui and Allen opened his eyes lazily to focus on the man. He had stopped, but his hands were still restless and Allen was sure that he would start pacing again as soon as he was done talking. “All the Types display the same amount of power per synchro rate. But, it is true that the Golden Type was believed to be Hevlaska’s specific Type, seeing as she is the Cube’s Acommodator. That is… until you came around, Allen.”

“Great,” grumbled Allen and he closed his eyes again. Maybe it would have been a good idea to actually go to the infirmary. 

“Do you think the Types have some kind of meaning?” asked Lavi, voice curious, but Allen could easily recognize some worry in it. He remembered how Lavi had mentioned that he couldn’t get too involved with the War, with the history he was recording, and he almost laughed. Being an Exorcist ripped that choice from you. 

“Knowing the Innocence? Probably,” answered Reever with another shrug and yeah, that was basically how they dealt with Innocence-related matters. It was too mysterious of a substance to actually be able to make a sound theory from mere scraps. 

“Where is… Suman now?” asked Lenalee. Kanda clicked his tongue.

“We left him in the care of some guards,” he said simply, but it seemed enough for Lenalee, who nodded and resumed her fidgeting with her sleeves. Lavi had fallen silent again, probably going over everything the scientists had said moments before. Allen sighed. Would it be his turn to voice out the reveal? 

“You said that you wanted to talk about something else, right?” asked Johnny from his side and Allen was kinda surprised to realize that the boy had not left his side in all the time the others had been going over the Types of Innocence. 

“Yeah,” he nodded and then felt silent. He didn’t even know how to say it in a way that wouldn’t send the scientists into shock. He bit his lip. He was too tired to think. 

“Is it…” started Reever and Allen looked over at him, “... you know, hard to swallow?”

“It is… certainly shocking,” he managed to get out and he decided that the world would stop spinning if he just stared at the floor while he organized his thoughts enough to form a coherent sentence that didn’t sound as if he was completely out of his mind. 

“We learned something,” said Lenalee, voice quiet, and Allen was reminded forcefully of how the girl had reassured herself to sleep that night when they finally got over the shock of their situation, “that day, when Daisya died. He didn’t die by an Akuma. We made it up. It was a Noah. But she didn’t even touch us two. She only killed Daisya, saying that she would have liked for it to be like last time.” Komui kneeled by her side when she clenched her trembling hands on her lap and tried to ground her with his hands on her shoulders. “Daisya was the one who told us that…”

Allen wasn’t as surprised as he should have been that  Lenalee couldn’t say it out loud, not when she had started her sentence like that. Lenalee was one of the few that had that feeling with Daisya. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how it should have felt to lose someone who you thought you knew from even before meeting him and for him to rely such a shocking truth. 

“He told us that this is not our first life,” said Allen and the silence that followed was as loud as a storm in his ears. 

“What… did you just say?” mumbled Reever and Allen closed his eyes again. God, he was so tired. 

“We are reincarnations,” said Alma. It was the first time they talked that time, but their voice was steady. 

“We fought on the last Holy War,” said Lavi, serious, reminding them that this was no joke, no one would start laughing at one point and say that it was all just a prank because they needed some cheerfulness in their lives. “And… we died. And then here we are again.”

Silence again. 

The only sound in the room was the soft humm of the white lights on the ceiling, and even that turned deafening for them in just a few seconds. Allen wanted to turn off the lights that were burning his sight and making his head feel fuzzy, but he was so tired and he was maybe a bit apprehensive because no one was saying anything. 

“So… you died?” Johnny’s voice sounded small even to Allen, who was still at his side, with his arm still clutched in an iron grip by the small scientist. 

“Pretty much,” said Allen, well, more like mumbled, and he nearly banged his head on the wall behind him when he lifted it to look around at the shocked faces of the scientists and wondered if they had showed so many emotions in their eyes when they learned it themselves.

“Do you… remember it?” continued Johnny. Allen tilted his head so he could look at his friend with his good eye. Johnny gulped. “Your… death, I mean.”

“No,” he said, and he debated with himself if he should mention everything that they had been keeping from them. He crossed gazes with the other Exorcists and at their nods continued. “We did feel a sort of nostalgia when we saw each other for the first time, though.”

“Nostalgia…?” repeated Johnny and Allen watched as Reever scratched his messy hair, looking more lost than ever, and Komui rubbed Lenalee’s arm in a gesture that wasn’t clear if it was to calm her or maybe reassure himself that she was still there. “I had a similar feeling when I saw you all for the first time…”

“Same here,” sighed Komui and Lenalee startled, head shooting up to stare at her brother. The man smiled slightly. “Why did you think I helped them that time in Manchester?”

“So, wait a moment,” blurted Lavi and Allen tilted his head to look at him. The redhead was rubbing his forehead. “Does that mean that you’re reincarnations too?”

“I thought that this only happened to Exorcists,” admitted Alma. 

“Then, maybe this didn’t happen because of Innocence?” asked Lenalee, but no one said anything. 

Allen tilted his head back again and fought the yawn that threatened to came out. He wanted to rest. They had already told the scientists about the heavy burden, the gigantic secret that they had been carrying for weeks and, actually, they had taken it better than Allen had imagined. That didn’t mean that they had processed everything. It was too crazy to simply take it in stride. At this point, all Allen wanted was for them to assist them if the Government got wind of their existence. Who knew what they could do to them if the higher-ups figured out that they were reincarnations from the most powerful generation of Exorcists from the last war. 

“I think we should all rest,” said Komui, voice soft and almost a whisper, and everyone nodded slowly, “maybe think everything through. We’ll look into it, don’t worry.”

“That’s right,” said Johnny, still at Allen’s side. “You don’t have to carry this by yourselves. We can help you.”

Allen felt warmth spread through him like an embrace made of light. His cheeks reddened slightly, he could feel it, so he turned his head so his hair hid it as much as it could. It was familiar, somehow. Johnny’s words struck home for him and he didn’t even know why, but he could almost see Johnny, dressed in other clothes, saying basically the same words with the same conviction and hope and care. 

“Thank you.” Allen didn’t know if it had been only him or if they had all said it at the same time, but it echoed through the room.

“And now…” Johnny’s eyes were stern when they focused on Allen again and he shook his head fondly. “You should go to the infirmary.”

At least this time he had been able to save someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Kudos?  
> Twitter: irisinally  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99


	27. Happy Tones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +100 kudos!!! Hhhhhh thank you so much!! I swear my motivation feeds off comments and kudos. Okay, so while we wait for the dgm chap to drop and desroy us all, here, have a nice and cheerful chap!

His concussion wasn’t as serious as it could have been, so he only needed a few days to recover. 

He had given Komui Suman’s Innocence just before Johnny bodily dragged him to the infirmary after their intense talk. He didn’t really remember what exactly he had said to the man, he only hoped he didn’t make a fool of himself. Nevertheless, Komui had disappeared down the hall with Lenalee in tow. Reever himself had wasted no time in going back to the Science Division, saying something along the lines of “you Exorcists will be the death of me”. Allen was pretty sure that he had laughed. 

Johnny had come various times to his room while he rested for a few days. He constantly updated him on Suman’s status, showing him the blueprints he had managed to steal for his new right arm. 

Allen had caved in after the scientist kept bugging him for hours while he was on bed and he showed him the documents Lavi had sent him while they all had been processing the fact that they were reincarnated people from the 19th century. It didn’t have that much new information, but Johnny went as far as writing messy notes on the margins and making complex timelines. He even told Johnny about what Hevlaska had said that time he had gone to her looking for answers. 

“That is worrisome,” said Johnny when he was done and Allen tilted his head, actually confused. “Think about it. Hevlaska remembers her past life, but  _ you _ don’t. What does that mean? Why does she remember? When did she remember? Was it some kind of trigger? And if it was, what would be yours? What would happen if you were triggered and you remembered?”

“I actually thought about something similar myself,” confessed Allen, hugging his pillow to himself. Talking to Johnny was always so soothing, he felt as if he could tell him his darkest secrets and Johnny would support him through hell. “About what would happen if we remembered. What would happen if we remember our own death? Nothing pretty, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, that is what worries me the most about this,” said Johnny, pinching the blanket with his fingers. “You’ve all been through some pretty traumatic experiences, but to know what it feels like to die... “ Allen watched as the scientist shuddered. “I don’t want to imagine it.”

Allen had not been the only one of the group who told Reever and Johnny to not run themselves ragged with the matter. He could see how the dark bags under their eyes got bigger by the day and the amount of documents that they had saved on their tablets was concerning. He had joked that he was the only one that could overthink things, but he was actually worried about their helpers. He was ready to hide their tablets and not give them back until they had rested. 

Lenalee was on his side because, apparently, Komui had been neglecting the Government’s calls for days and the higher-ups were getting kinda mad and Link was having  _ too much coffee _ . When Allen was recovered enough to walk around without bumping on anything because the world decided that it wanted to tilt, he had found the blond man getting an entire pot of coffee for himself. It wasn’t even the cute kind of pot, no, it was the one used when a lot of people were called for a long meeting. 

“You know,” said Lavi one day, when they were discussing the matter of the overworked scientists, “maybe we should go out. Like, go to the city and walk around. Clear our heads. The scientists are making us eat our heads because they are eating theirs.”

“We could be sent in a mission at any moment,” growled Alma from where they were laying down on Allen’s bed. Allen himself was perched on the windowsill, looking at the ground meters and meters below them. It was one of the higher floors and he absolutely loved it. “We can’t function if we are thinking about a million things at once.”

“Well, maybe  _ you _ can’t,” said Lavi and pointed his finger guns at Alma with a wide grin. Alma rolled their eyes. Allen smirked.

“Oh, and  _ you  _ can?” he asked, voice too sweet and innocent. “Because, if I remember correctly, and I usually do, last week you made coffee…”

“No, don’t!” yelped Lavi and jumped from his seat on the chair to run at him.

“... Except you didn’t brew coffee.” Lavi was already at his side, grabbing his collar and saying ‘no’s at an incredible speed. “You brew  _ salt. _ ” Allen could hear Alma’s cackles over Lavi’s loud whining and he could swear that Kanda was laughing too in the distance. “Tell me Lavi, what did it taste like?”

There was silence. Lavi let Allen go and stumbled to his chair, slumping on it and letting his head fall on the desk with a loud ‘thud’. Lenalee was chuckling and Alma was rolling around the bed. Allen’s smile couldn’t have been wider. Sweet, sweet victory. 

“Like my hopes and dreams,” mumbled Lavi against the glass of the desk and Alma wheezed. 

“Oh, man,” huffed Alma, rubbing the tears out of their eyes. “Allen, one day you need to tell me more about the blackmail material you have.”

“Of course,” he said cheerfully and Lavi groaned louder. 

“Anyway!” he yelled and lifted his head, making a dramatic motion with his hand. “What do you think of my plan?”

“Wouldn’t we be too eye-catching?” asked Alma and Allen nodded slightly. His hair was not exactly the most normal colour, even in a city. And he couldn’t exactly dye it. Covering it… too suspicious. 

“Not if we don’t go wearing our uniforms,” shrugged Lavi. Allen raised an eyebrow at him. 

“No shit,” grumbled Kanda and Lavi raised his middle finger at him without even looking at him. Kanda launched the tablet he had been using to draw at his head. 

“No violence, kids,” said Lavi, catching the tablet with his hand and using the other to wave a finger at Kanda as if he was a misbehaving toddler. “Violence is bad. Bad.”

Kanda made the move to stand up from the floor and Lavi scrambled out of his chair again, reaching out to drag the desk between them. Lenalee was faster and stopped the desk before Lavi moved it to the middle of the room. Allen shook his head. 

“I mean my hair,” he said, voice resigned. Lavi shrugged again. He was so helpful. 

“I saw a guy with white hair the other day,” commented Lenalee with a slight smile and Allen raised his eyebrows. Lenalee chuckled. “He wasn’t old at all.”

“I’ve seen quite a few myself,” said Alma, grabbing the tablet from Lavi’s hands. They gave it back to Kanda. 

“What? Old people?” grinned Lavi. “Those are rare. Why, just look at Gramps. A real treasure to bless our mortal eyes…”

Allen almost expected the old man to wrap time and space and appear before them to kick his apprentice into the next century. Alma rolled their eyes.

“No, I mean white hair,” they clarified and then they grinned at Allen. “I think it’s the new trend. People will be saying how stylish you are.”

“I doubt it,” came Kanda’s mumble and Allen threw a pen at him. It hit him straight on the head. “You little  _ shit _ .” 

“There are a lot of UFOs around here today,” mumbled absentmindedly Lavi. Then he slammed his hands on the desk. “C’mon people! Do we go out or not? Say ‘aye’ if you wanna go spread chaos around Chicago.”

Everyone said a soft ‘aye’, except Lavi and Alma, who made an extremely weird sound that sounded vaguely like an ‘aye’. 

And so, Allen found himself with the mission of convincing the guards at the gate that there was nothing suspicious about letting a bunch of Exorcists go out into the city. Lavi was with him and, while he was good at lying and what not, they didn’t actually plan ahead what they would say, so it was kinda surprising that the men at the gate let them go with the excuse of “going out to buy some much needed clothes because, honestly, you guys’ fashion sense sucks and we would be more than dead without Johnny’s help”.

“There’s this really cool-looking cafe that’s on the top floor of this huge tower and so, I wondered if-” started babbling Lavi as soon as they were out of the base’s borders. 

Allen was mostly looking around, feeling the warm breeze ruffle his hair. He was glad that they didn’t need to wear masks in Chicago, they were annoying, and they usually meant that they couldn’t even see the top of the tallest buildings because of the pollution in the air. He had been at some of those cities and he had wanted to leave as soon as he arrived. It was like living in a bubble. A dirty and unhealthy bubble. 

“You only said to come to the city so you could go to this cafe?” grumbled Kanda from where he was walking side by side with Alma. Alma rolled their eyes with a small smile and Lenalee chuckled. Lavi’s slight grin was his only answer.

Chicago didn’t have a shelter in the path from the base to the city, for which Allen was grateful. Going through the shelter meant having to endure the dark and untrusting stares from the people living there. And Allen didn’t even blame them. Even if they were wearing mostly normal clothes (Lavi was as colourful as always), they were too clean and in good condition compared to what they wore at the shelters. If rich people came to the shelters, it was never a good thing. 

Instead of the dark and nearly destroyed houses that would belong to the shelter, in their way to the city there was only a desert of grey dust and cracked ground. Allen knew that some cities had tried to plant some trees or grass outside their cities so that they seemed more welcoming, but the planet wasn’t in a good enough condition anymore and the only territories that had the privilege of seeing some kind of wild nature were the northern countries like what had been Canada and the Nordic countries in Europe. 

They slowly entered the city, pointing out anything interesting they found and making fun of some of the most ridiculous advertisements that floated around the buildings. It had been a while since Allen had walked that long, but he wasn’t tired at all. He was actually more energetic than ever. They didn’t have the watchful eyes of their guides on them, there was no threat that they needed to eradicate. The danger was still there, of course, but it wasn’t as stifling as the tension on missions. 

Lavi dragged them to the tall building he had been talking about, a white tower that was made of a material that seemed like glass but Allen suspected was something sturdier. The tower itself was like a giant spike, but Lavi pointed at the top and Allen squinted to make out the ring of windows that was probably the cafe. 

The tower itself was home to a business company whose name Allen had read when they got on the elevator but had forgotten as soon as they stepped out. Alma ‘oh’ed by his side and Lavi laughed cheerfully at their reaction, reminding them that it had been his idea to come in the first place. 

Allen had to admit that it was a beautiful cafe, it looked like something a five star hotel would have as a dining room. They were in the ring around the tip of the tower and the tables didn’t seem to have an actual order, so they chose the first one they saw, near the wall made of windows at the end. 

A man took their place in the elevator, throwing a cheerful thanks at the bartender guarding the bar, and Allen turned around so fast he almost slipped on the smooth floor, but the elevator doors had already closed and he didn’t get to see the man. He frowned. That voice had been too familiar, but he didn’t get to see his face or even figure out if the feeling of familiarity had been similar to the one he had with his companions. He didn’t know why, but it sent a pang of pain through his heart. 

“Allen, come on!” called Lavi and Allen turned around again as the redhead waved a hand in the air to gesture at the table where Alma was already sitting after running straight at it. “They have lots of food here!”

Allen smiled slightly and shook his head as he tried to shake the thoughts of that man out of his head. He walked over to their table, ignoring how the other people on the cafe looked at him with interest or irritation. Lenalee did stare at him with a serious glint in her eyes while he sat, but didn’t say anything and just read the list of different drinks.

There really were a lot of different kinds of foods in the cafe, it almost seemed like a restaurant. He didn’t know what exactly to order, so he just chose the ones that seemed interesting. 

“Of course you would order some kind of Soba,” laughed Alma when their food came. Allen tried to fit everything on the table with the help of an amused Lenalee. Kanda glared at Alma. “Oh, c’mon, you’re basically a meme at this point.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” grinned Lavi. Allen arched an eyebrow at him while he twisted the pasta around his fork. “I found an interesting document in Gramp’s tablet. Did you know that he recorded some of the most popular memes?”

“How can you keep doing that without him noticing?” asked Lenalee, shaking her head with a small smile. Lavi’s grin widened. 

“That’s right, didn’t he notice anything off when you found the documents that talked about the last war?” asked Alma, tilting their head. Lavi’s grin dimmed.

“To be honest, I wouldn’t know,” he said and Allen felt his heart stop. “I mean, he was the one who trained me. I’m pretty sure he knows if I lie. He didn’t say anything, though.”

“Do you think he knows?” asked Lenalee in a soft whisper. Lavi drummed his fingers on the table. 

“Again, I wouldn’t know,” he sighed and rubbed his face. “I swear, I can’t read him at all. He’s like a closed book all the time. Like a closed book with, like, a hundred locks and a ugly troll guarding it.” He paused. “I did ask him about the last generation of Exorcists when I was younger."

“Really?” blurted out Alma, eyes wide, and Lavi nodded, but his smile was gone. 

“Yeah, but he just told me that ‘he couldn’t say anything about it to anyone, least of all me’.” Another pause. His stared forward, out the windows, but his eye was glassy. Allen gulped down his food. “What are the chances that the old man let me find those documents because he had actually tied the knots himself a while back?” Allen blinked. Pretty high. Lavi groaned and raised his hands to mess his hair even further than it already was. “That old panda! Of course he knew! That means... “ Lavi’s eye glinted and he grinned. “Gramps has even more information about this!”

“Wait, wait, are you sure about that?” asked Alma, grabbing Lavi’s arms to keep him down because the redhead was too energetic, he was bouncing on his seat. 

“Stupid Rabbit, are you sure?” grumbled Kanda and Allen blinked when he noticed that the man had already finished his Soba. 

“Of course, of course, believe me, that Gramps is amazing like that,” said Lavi, laughing to himself. “Do you know what this means? That’s right! I’ll ask Gramps as soon as we get back!”

“That’s good and all, but…” said Lenalee and Allen continued eating now that the intense talk seemed to be over. Lenalee placed her phone on the table, smiled widely and pointed at the photos of clothing stores that appeared in the air. “We should stick to the plan, right?”

Nobody complained, so, as soon as they finished eating, they set off towards the avenue. It wasn’t as crowded as other cities, so they could walk calmly and talk among themselves, arguing about where to go first. Lenalee won the argument by far, so she got to choose the stores they would visit. 

Lenalee and Alma were the only ones who actually took the shopping seriously, discussing the clothes they took from the racks and running in and out of the fitting rooms. 

Allen and Lavi ended up dragging a grumpy Kanda all around the stores, searching for the most horrendous pieces of clothing and accessories they could find and putting them on all at once. Kanda stayed out of their way, usually huffing at their choices and looking around with a bored expression. 

It was when they got out from the store when they noticed that Kanda had, at some point, purchased a pair of track pants and a jacket. Lavi shuffled over to Allen, raising his hand to hide his mouth as he whispered to Allen.

“Did you actually see him buying it?” 

“I didn’t,” whispered back Allen. Lavi made a weird sound on the back of his throat. 

They did buy some clothes in the end after Lenalee gave them ten minutes to find something of their liking. Allen nearly failed because he kept checking the price of the clothes he found nice, while Lavi seemed to want every single brightly-colored scarf that he could set his eye upon. And so, Allen ended up buying a nice leather jacket that Lavi kept insisting looked rad and a shirt. Lavi bought a bunch of scarves and a pair of green pants with white spots. When Lenalee saw them, she made a really funny face between a grimace and intense regret. 

It was basically nightfall when they got back to the base, carrying the bags of clothing. Lavi waved the bags at the guards, grinning widely, and Allen snorted when he saw how a guard widened his eyes in surprise. Sometimes, it was really funny to see how other people that thought Exorcists were these supernatural creatures that didn’t act like humans reacted to them doing normal stuff. Sometimes, it was only plain sad. 

They said their ‘good night’s when they reached their floor and Allen stuffed his new clothes in his wardrobe before collapsing on his bed. 

That night he dreamed of a chess match and a cheerful lunch surrounded by his friends. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so refreshing to write the Exorcists behaving like actual young people. Also, who was that man? He's gonna appear sooner than you think.  
> Comments? Kudos?  
> Twitter: irisinally  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99


	28. Trigger-happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I actually forgot to update this. Oops? The next update will be around my birthday so maybe I can do a double update or something, I haven't figured it out yet. Enjoy!

Allen really liked going to the Science Division, but he was busy with missions or training and when he had free time he usually spent it with whoever was at the base or doing his own thing. Plus, he didn’t like people watching him like hawks just because, yes, he was an Exorcist and, yes, he was with scientists. With Reever, Section Chief, and Johnny, a trusted friend, the stares didn’t bother him that much. It helped that the two of them knew of his knowledge in codes and usually could give him something to do. 

“Here,” said Reever, passing a tablet over to him. Allen took it curiously. “You’re pretty good with this kind of stuff. Decode that file, please.”

Allen grinned and slipped the black gloves off his hands. He left them on the table where he was sitting. 

“You’re overworked again, aren’t you?” he asked as he tapped the password. Johnny sighed beside him.

“Komui is busy yelling at the higher ups,” he said. Allen blinked. 

“Is something wrong?” He could think of various things that could go wrong and he had to take a deep breath to calm his heart. He had to remind himself that it was highly unlikely that the Government knew something about their… condition. 

“It’s about Suman,” explained Reever. Allen let out a small sound of surprise. Suman. He had totally forgotten about the man. He felt kind of bad about it. The fact that Lavi would try to get information out of Bookman was at the forefront of his mind most of the time. 

“Is he okay?” he blurted out, then he gazed at Johnny. “You said he was going to be discharged soon, right?” He paused. “I should talk to him.”

“What are you, the spokesperson?” joked Reever with a grin. Allen shrugged with a rueful smile. It was true that the ones that talked with most of the people were Lenalee and him. Then Reever sighed. “He is okay. He was able to stand up and walk yesterday, so Komui took him to Hevlaska.” He paused, looked around, and leaned forward on his chair, over the papers on his desk and his cup of coffee. “Apparently, he is not compatible anymore. He is not an Exorcist.”

Allen blinked again, then furrowed his eyebrows. Had it been enough to just cut off the Innocence off him? Maybe it was a combination of the two, of them cutting his arm off and of his betrayal. Or near betrayal. Still, it seemed… too easy. Was it because they were reincarnations? Was it because of the colour of the Innocence? He didn’t know, but he had to admit that it was interesting. 

“That’s where the higher ups come up,” said another scientist. Allen lifted his head. Big round glasses, dreadlocks, tan skin… He felt kind of familiar. Another reincarnation? “They don’t understand what happened. They say that the bond between an Exorcist and their Innocence shouldn’t be able to be broken just because it was cut off from the body.” The man grinned at Allen and stuck his hand out. “Gigi Lujun. I was the one that helped these two research the Innocence Colour Types.”

“We told him some of what you told us,” mumbled Johnny and Allen tilted his head slightly. Johnny flushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Allen was quick to reassure, with a soft smile. “I can understand why you did it.”

“So, yeah, the higher ups are nailing Komui about it,” grumbled Reever. “And he, in turn, is leaving all his work to us.”

“You shouldn’t worry,” said Gigi and he reached out to ruffle Allen’s hair with his hand. Allen startled and almost let the tablet fall to the floor. “Komui is competent, even if he’s like a crazy scientist sometimes.”

“I’m not worrying about that,” mumbled Allen. 

“You can talk with Suman in a while,” said Reever. Allen arched an eyebrow. Reever smiled at him. “Suman is going to work here as an engineer to pay for medicine for his daughter. That was part of why he was an Exorcist.”

“It was the same before, in the last war,” commented Gigi and Allen snapped his head towards him so fast that his neck clicked. “The Order paid for any medicine or services the families needed.”

“Oh, yeah,” blinked Johnny and the scientist gestured for Allen to lean down. He talked in a whisper that  Allen was quite sure Gigi was able to hear, but he didn’t really mind, “Bookman is back from his mission. Is Lavi gonna talk with him?”

“Probably,” nodded Allen and he reached out with his hand for his phone. “I’m going to tell him, just in case.”

Johnny nodded and continued with the broken machine he was fixing on his table. Reever switched to the holograms and Gigi skipped to his side, almost child-like. Allen resumed his work after he sent a text to Lavi, but soon stopped again when Reever clicked his tongue.

“Again? As if we didn’t have enough on our plate,” he grumbled and Gigi grinned. He took a tablet and walked away. Allen frowned, confused, and looked at Reever in search of answers. 

“What happened?” he asked. Reever rubbed his face with his hands, clearly tired, and sighed. He turned the hologram around so that Allen could see the blue-ish photos displayed in the air. 

“There was an attack on a warehouse.” The chief rolled his eyes. “They are always blaming the Skeletons or Akuma for these things. A way for the repairs to be free. But the Government isn’t exactly stupid. Rebels exist.”

“So, you think this is not an attack?” Allen touched the hologram to zoom in and he watched as a wall exploded and violent flames lapped at the sandy ground. 

“Could be, but in most cases there weren’t any Akuma or Skeletons,” shrugged Reever. Allen frowned, but said nothing. He couldn’t see anything in the videos and he couldn’t feel anything if he wasn’t there himself, so there was no reason to think much of it. At least, he hoped so. Reever looked at the watch on his phone and nodded at Allen. “You should be able to talk with Suman now. He should be done by now.”

Allen nodded, finished what he had been doing and left the tablet on the table. It wasn’t his best work but he had been talking with the scientists, so he wasn’t as focused as other times. He turned his head and rolled his shoulders and smiled when he saw Lenalee walking towards them with a couple of cups of coffee in her hands. She smiled at them.

“I heard about Suman,” she said after a brief greeting. She settled the cups on the table, careful with the tablets and machine parts laying around. She always got coffee for the few scientists that were closer to them. She once said that it was what she tended to do when Komui and her were traveling around in the past, when Komui was just another engineer and it felt relaxing. She turned to Allen. “Are you going to talk with him?”

“I was going to,” he smiled, then his smile turned sheepish. “Um, do you know where he could be?”

“He should be on the floor above this one,” said Reever, pointing to the high and dark ceiling above them. Johnny nodded slightly, eyes still focused on the machine. “The tryouts are usually there, I don’t think they would change anything for him. Right now, he’s only a normal human.”

“Then I’ll go,” nodded Allen and turned on his heels to leave, but Lenalee grabbed his arm before he could walk away. He blinked at her. 

“Are you going to say anything about… this?” she asked, voice serious and quiet. Allen considered it.

“Maybe,” he mumbled. “Should we tell the others?”

“Probably,” answered Lenalee. Her hand went to her cardigan’s pocket. “I’ll send a text to the others. If they agree, I’ll find Miranda, Alma can tell Krory and Kanda can tell Marie.” A pause. “You tell Suman. Even if he’s not an Exorcist anymore, he deserves to know.”

“Of course,” he smiled again, but he couldn’t keep the serious glint from his eyes. 

They parted ways and after a few seconds his phone buzzed in his pocket. He reached the tall door that connected the division with the long hallway and walked quickly to the elevator. He didn’t pay attention to the people that were on the elevator with him, simply reading the messages his friends were sending one after the other. 

They all agreed to the plan. He felt a little anxious. It was something big and that so many people would know was dangerous. The chances that someone would slip and blurt it out were higher than before. But they deserved to know what was happening. Specially in a war that was full of secrets like the one they were fighting. 

He reached the floor quickly and he leaned on the wall for a few seconds while he read the messages. When they calmed down and they were all moving, he started walking. The hallway was empty, so he hurried down it, biting his lip and searching for Suman. He found him waiting outside a door, nervously pacing back and forth in front of it. 

“Suman?” he called and almost flinched at how loud it sounded in the silent hallway. 

The man jumped and turned to him quickly. It was clear that the man had been in the frontlines too many years. He raised his right arm, which was now a shining silver, before he seemed to remember that his Innocence was not with him anymore and he lowered it with a sigh. 

“Allen, it’s good to see that you’re okay,” greeted the man with a small smile. Allen faltered in his step, caught off-guard for a moment, before he returned the smile with a hesitant one of his own. 

“I could say the same,” he said and his smile turned sheepish. “Sorry for your arm, but it… was the only thing we could think of.”

“It’s perfectly okay,” chuckled the man and Allen had to take a moment when he reached him, because he was  _ so different _ . Before, the man had given them the coldest of glares, he was like a cloud of bitterness in the room, but now he looked more free than ever and still… Allen could see how haunted his eyes looked. “You saved my life. I’m really grateful for that.”

“I’m glad then,” said Allen, and he meant it. His shoulders tensed slightly and his smile wavered. “Look, can we talk for a moment? It’s… important."

Suman nodded and gestured for Allen to follow him. He led them to a hallway that was to the side, where no one would see them unless they were actually looking for them and knew that they were there. Suman leaned on the wall and Allen found himself shuffling his feet. He didn’t know how to start. It was always the same, no matter how many times he said that stupid “we’re actually reincarnations” phrase, it didn’t make it any easier the next time. 

“It’s about what we know,” he started, careful, so careful, and he could feel Suman’s stare on his head. “About the war.”

“I think I already know what you’re going to tell me,” mumbled Suman and Allen startled, lifting his head to frown at him, confused. Suman smiled, but it was not happy at all, it was haunted, as haunted as his eyes had seemed the first time Allen had seen him a few minutes before. “It’s about the reincarnation, isn’t it?”

“How…?” whispered Allen and he watched as Suman lowered his head in return, hands shaking and taking a hold of his new jacket. 

He looked so normal now, without that aura that all Exorcists seemed to have. He looked like a different person. His hair was messy and with traces of grey, his shoulders hunched. The heavy weight of what he had done, of what he had been so close to doing, hung on him like a sin. 

“Because I remember,” was his answer and Allen could swear that his heart had stopped beating. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out, and he closed it. Suman lifted his head and he laughed, empty, sorrowful. “I remember. I remember my last life. It’s still blurry, I can’t really make sense of it… I can tell you that I didn’t even make it to the final battle. I died much sooner. But I… I think I met you.”

“Me?” repeated Allen, voice quiet and shaky and he had to lean back on the wall because his legs were trembling. Suman nodded slightly. He was staring at the ground. 

“Yes, the previous ‘you’, I guess,” he said and Allen almost laughed because  _ what the fuck _ , that sounded so  _ weird _ . “You saved me that time too.” Allen snapped his head up. “That time… I Fell. I really Fell. There was no one to stop me from betraying the Order, no one to set me straight. And when there was, it was too late. I Fell, I killed, and then you came and you managed to help me, but it was just too late.” Suman paused. Allen didn’t know if it was for his sake or because he needed to rearrange his thoughts, but it gave him a chance to catch his breath. “You… were different. But, at the same time, you were exactly the same.”

“How… how does that make sense?” chuckled Allen and maybe it was not the best idea to laugh but he just couldn’t really process right not. One thing was to know that he was a reincarnation of someone from the 19th century. Another was for someone who remembered that ‘him’ to tell him that he was different but similar at the same time. 

“Yeah, I know it sounds strange, but I don’t know how else to explain it,” shrugged Suman. He was clearly uncomfortable. 

Allen slid down until he was sitting on the floor. Suman followed him soon after and hid his face behind his two-colored hands. 

“When did you remember?” asked Allen after his mind stopped screaming ‘what the fuck’ eleven times per second. He scrunched up his nose. “No, better yet,  _ how  _ did you remember?”

“It was when I almost Fell this time,” answered Suman after a short pause. “I think the trigger is something that greatly impacted you from your past life.”

“That helps a lot,” grumbled Allen, voice bitter and sharp. Suman shrugged again, tense, probably because of his voice. He sighed. “So you really can’t tell me anything about how the war ended with the Earl’s victory or… or, something like that?”

“I’m sorry,” said Suman and Allen felt a pang of guilt for trying to force information from a life that had been that chaotic and painful out of him. “Like I said, the point where I died wasn’t near enough to the final battle. When I was alive, everything followed its normal flow. Good guys versus bad guys.” He paused to let out a weak laugh. “There was no chaos that I remember. No secret sides, like historians like to believe. Then again…” Suman’s smile was bitter. “I hated the Order. I was in the same position as I was before all this, I just wanted to see my family again, my daughter… Nothing has changed.”

“Even the reason why you almost Fell this time…” mumbled Allen, remembering what Suman was saying when he begged the Noah to keep him alive. Suman flinched. Allen sighed. “So this time we have the same life as last time?”

“I don’t think so,” said Suman and Allen arched a white eyebrow at him. Suman frowned. “You look different from last time. I wouldn’t say you’ve had the same life. Maybe this time I’ve ended up with the same people as my family as last time, but… it hasn’t been the same.”

“Wait, wait,” backtracked Allen and he leaned forward. “You have ended up with the same people as your family? Same name? Same appearance? Reincarnations?”

“I’m pretty sure,” nodded Suman. Allen sighed and leaned back again. 

So maybe that was why not only Exorcists reincarnated. Maybe it was the bonds between the Exorcists and their loved ones in their past lives that… He had to tell the others. He almost let his phone fall to the floor because his hands were still trembling slightly, but he managed to type that they needed to talk, again, before he let out a long suffering sigh and let his head fall back and lean on the wall. He was tired. So tired. He wanted to understand what was going on, but everytime they discovered something they ended up with even more questions. 

“In any case, I’m glad that you’re okay,” said Allen after a few minutes of silence. Suman smiled slightly. 

“As good as can be expected, I guess,” he said. Then he lowered his head again. “I’m sorry. I can’t really help you much. And I’m sorry for how I treated you all before. I was an ass.”

“Kinda,” agreed Allen with a small grin and Suman chuckled, “but I think you had your reasons.”

“I was mostly mad at the higher ups because they got you involved, even if you are pretty young,” explained the man. He picked at his arm nervously. “But that didn’t excuse how I treated you. You were victims, still are. I couldn’t see that from behind the wall of hatred that blinded me.” He hummed. “It was the same in my last life. But I didn’t meet you until I Fell.”

“Really?” blurted out Allen. That was… surprising.

“You helped a total stranger that was killing innocent people,” smiled Suman. His smile dimmed a few moments later. “I’m sorry I can’t really say much, I’m still trying to make sense of years of memories that are not exactly my own.”

“It’s okay,” reassured Allen with a shaky smile. 

Now that his mind wasn’t reeling because of the shock, he could understand why Suman was struggling. He wondered if he had a headache. To be forcefully reminded of an entire life’s worth of memories couldn’t be exactly pleasant, specially because that meant that he remembered how he died. Not the best question to ask, so he kept quiet about it. 

“When I make sense of the memories I’ll tell you more,” said Suman, eyes determined for once, and Allen’s smile widened. It seemed that Suman wanted to repent, to make it up for his past mistakes in both his lives. He could admire that. 

“Some of the scientists know about this too,” said Allen and Suman arched an eyebrow. “Johnny, Reever and Komui know as much as us before you told me that bomb. Gigi helped for a bit, but I’m not sure how much he knows. You could team up with them.”

“Ah, yeah, I remember them,” nodded Suman. Allen wondered if he meant that he remembered them from this life or the other one, but he shook his head and let it slide. It was enough information for a day. He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like when or if he recovered his own memories. 

“I should probably tell this to the others,” he mumbled and he used the wall as support to stand up. Suman did the same and nodded to him. 

“Of course,” he mumbled and looked at the door as it opened. A woman wearing a white lab coat stepped out, reading something in a tablet. “I should go. And you should too.”

“I’ll see you around,” nodded Allen and they parted ways. 

Allen wobbled over to the elevator, unlocking his phone with a shaky hand. He noticed that he had left his gloves at the Science Division, but he didn’t really want to go back there. He needed to talk with the others, with his Exorcist friends. He sighed and started reading the new messages as the elevator climbed floor after floor. 

He rubbed his face with his free hand when he saw Lenalee’s last message just under his.

_ ‘I got news too. Komui will call us tomorrow. It’s a special mission.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where will they go next for answers? It's a very familiar place for us all, I'll tell you that. Also, pay attention to that foreshadowing oh wow I actually pulled it off.  
> Comments? Kudos?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Ttwitter: irisinally


	29. Theories of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update, yay! Why? Because it's my birthday today and I'm in a good mood. Also, because I've like... another 10 chaps done already. And extra-long too! Seriously, I couldn't cut this anywhere so it's +5k words long. Enjoy!

When Allen explained what Suman had told him just moments prior, everyone had been shocked but, well, not as much as Allen himself had been. Suman had basically told him that he had known his past self, for only a few moments, but it was still enough to send Allen’s mind reeling. It was all so surreal that when life threw new knowledge concerning that matter at him he needed some time to fully grasp what it meant. 

Lavi had started coming up with different theories about what they could do to know their triggers, but they didn’t sound promising, so he shut up after a few minutes with a disgruntled grimace. 

“I’ve talked to Gramps,” said Lavi and he had everyone’s gazes on him immediately. He scratched his head. “He said, literally, ‘took you long enough to figure it out’. So, yeah. He knows.”

“Does he have more information?” asked Alma, leaning forward. Lavi opened his mouth and raised a finger.

“We need to go to China,” he explained. Allen frowned. “There is some kind of old base there and, apparently, there are some documents there. That’s…”

“That’s why my brother will send us to a mission in that area,” interrupted Lenalee, throwing a guilty smile at Lavi, who grumbled about ‘not letting him have his moment’. “We’ll go tomorrow, all five of us. No one else. There are some Akuma around that we need to destroy, but that is only to distract the higher ups. Our main objective is that old base.”

“Does Bookman remember?” asked Kanda, arms crossed. Allen nodded slightly. Now that they knew that it was possible for them to remember their past lives, there was always that option. 

“He doesn’t,” answered Lavi, shaking his head. Allen sighed. So they only had one Exorcist that remembered, and he wasn’t even an Exorcist anymore. Well. There could be more, but Allen didn’t think that they would be with the Government like them. “He only knows slightly more than us because he found some documents at that base when he was younger.”

“Well, then,” smiled Alma, “I guess it’s our turn to find those.”

* * *

 

The next morning Allen didn’t really eat much for breakfast. He did grab some sandwiches and he gave them to Lavi, who would bring with him a bag with a first aid kit. Apparently, it was hard to walk around the area where they were going and a big group would be more trouble than it was worth, so they were going alone, with no guides. Komui had been subtle, but Allen was quite sure that he had winked at them. 

Allen was used to travel by craft, and so were the others, so they didn’t even bother going to the control room. They decided to sit around and chat in a way that didn’t give away their nervousness or excitement. Allen didn’t know if they were successful or not, but no one had said anything about it so he guessed that everything was going according to the vague plan they had. 

The craft didn’t leave them near any city. Quite the opposite, actually, because the group of Exorcists found themselves just outside a large rocky area. Allen’s eyes immediately focused on the tall mountains that surrounded them from all sides and realised that Komui wasn’t actually kidding. 

“The Akuma usually stay around here,” explained one of the pilots. “We’ll come get you tomorrow afternoon.” A pause, and then, with some hesitation, he threw a mumbled “good luck,” before turning around and going up the ramp. 

Allen stared as the craft took off quickly. It almost seemed like they were abandoning them there, as if they didn’t care that fighting Akuma in the dark would be more than just difficult. Surprisingly, he didn’t even care. 

“Okay, team!” chirped Lavi and Allen turned to him slightly, still watching the light of the craft disappear between the dense clouds. It was almost night time in China and, not for the first time, Allen wondered how it would be like to see the sky full of twinkling stars. “I managed to talk Gramps into givin’ me a map to the base.”

“It’s not that far,” hummed Lenalee. Allen finally turned away from the sky and leaned down to see the map, curious. It actually wasn’t. It looked like the base was just on the other side of the mountains. They could complete their mission on the way. “We should probably hurry, though.”

“Yes, fighting Akuma in the dark is not fun at all,” nodded Alma.

There weren’t that many Akuma and the ones that were roaming around were mostly taken by surprise, so it was pretty easy to defeat them. They ended up taking turns to activate their Innocences because the road they were following through the rocky area became more and more narrow as they walked. Lavi ended up not being able to use his own Innocence after Kanda nearly had his hair burned off by one of Lavi’s Fire Stamps. Kanda proceeded to nail Lavi with insults in return as they continued the way. 

Finally, they reached their destination. Although, they would have missed it if Lavi hadn’t stopped them. The redhead frowned at the map in his hands and then pointed at their right. Allen arched an eyebrow. It was a waterfall of clear water. There was no way that could be the entrance to the base. 

“There’s no way,” said Alma, frowning at Lavi, and then they reached out and took the map from his hands. Lavi shrugged.

“That’s what it says, I’m as confused as you are,” said Lavi. Lenalee moved to the edge, eyes fixed on the waterfall. Kanda rolled his eyes.

“If you wanted to keep a base hidden,” he growled, and then pointed at the waterfall, “that would be a good option.”

“Still!” grumbled Alma. “We didn’t think of this. We have no more clothes and, I don’t know you, but I don’t want to get sick.”

“Yeah, well, we don’t have a choice, do we?” grumbled back Kanda and Alma lifted their head to glare at them. 

Allen blinked. It felt as if someone was watching them. He raised his arms and hugged himself. Was it an enemy? Another Noah? They were five now, they could hold a Noah off with some luck, but it wasn’t the best of places to be attacked. He readied his Innocence, just in case, but didn’t active it.

“I am not getting in the water, Yu,” continued arguing Alma. Lenalee was leaning forward precariously, eyes narrowed and focused on the waterfall. Lavi was just watching the other two argue with a small amused smile. Did no one feel it?

“What are you, scared of the water?” growled Kanda and Alma huffed.

“C’mon, you’re no better,” they said. Then they paused. “I just worry. How do we know that it’s not acid water like the ocean?”

“Oh, right,” mumbled Lavi to himself. He turned around his heels and got closer to the water. Allen could swear that something had moved just behind them. Lavi hummed to himself. “It doesn’t look like it, Alma. I think it’s okay to-”

“Took you long enough to come, you hopeless bunch,” said a voice from behind and Allen jumped, eyes wide and muscles tense, Innocence glowing a fierce gold as he turned on his heels. He wasn’t the only one, but he was the one further away from the water and closer to the rocks on the other side. “Hey, I’m not an enemy! Do I have some kind of killing intent or somethin’?”

Allen froze and the golden light faltered. He took in the newcomer, trying to calm down his racing heart, as his companions approached them cautiously. It was a girl who looked their age but probably wasn’t, judging from the tired shine of her eyes and the way her red hair fell around her face. She wasn’t wearing much, so Allen could make out some kind of tattoos or markings on her skin. It was dark, so he couldn’t exactly come up with anything clear. 

“Who are you?” he asked. His companions were by his side or just behind him and Lavi took out his Innocence from its holster on his leg, just in case. But, as the girl had said, she didn’t seem to have any killer intent. Actually, she just looked tired, exasperated and… amused? The feeling of familiarity grew on him and he immediately lowered his arm.

“You should know that, but! I’ll forgive you this once,” she said with a shrug. Allen blinked. Another reincarnation that remembered? “My name is Fou. And before you ask, I’m not a reincarnation. I did meet the previous ‘you’, though.”

“W-what?” stuttered Allen and he heard Alma make a choking noise from behind. Fou’s eyes widened and she tilted her body to the side so she could see Alma. 

“You are here too?!” she blurted out, but tried to cover it up with a small cough. She closed her eyes for a moment. “Oh, this is gonna be hard for him…”

“Uh?” blinked Alma, but Fou ignored him and walked over to the edge. 

“Okay, listen, we’re gonna go to the base, you’re gonna meet someone that will explain some important things to you and when you’re done, you’re gonna keep this all for yourselves. Understood?” she said and they all flinched under her sharp gaze as it traveled over them. They nodded. She smirked. “Good.”

She gestured for them to follow her and they did so after a few seconds of hesitation. Allen found himself trusting her more than he would have expected to trust a stranger that had sneaked on them as they talked, but then again, he had done so with the other reincarnations he had met so far. It was weird, he supposed, but weirdness had always been part of his life, so it couldn’t surprise him anymore. 

They went around the water until they were just next to the waterfall. The sound was deafening, but Allen could find some kind of peace in it. Fou led them through an arc made of rocks and they soon found themselves walking side by side with the water of the waterfall. 

“Okay, first rule!” said Fou when they were inside a cave. Allen tried to see the end of the long tunnel, but he had no luck, not because it was dark, he could see pretty well in it, but because it stretched far into the mountain. “If you see something fishy, don’t touch it! Second rule, don’t yell. And third rule, ask questions after we’ve explained some things. We still don’t know a lot, but we’re on it.”

“We?” repeated Kanda. When Fou looked at him, Allen could see some sadness in her eyes, before she turned and continued leading the way down the long corridor. 

“There’s another man here,” she explained. She paused, hesitating, and Allen wondered why, before she spoke again, voice much more soft, almost like a whisper that had some kind of emotion that Allen couldn’t figure out. “It might be familiar to you two, Alma, Kanda. The man is Bak Chang.”

“Chang?!” yelled Alma and Fou turned to them with a glare that lacked the fierceness it had moments before. Alma bit their lip. “Is he… related to Twi and Edgar Chang?”

“He is,” she said with a sigh. Allen frowned. Who were…? “He is their son.”

“Their son…” repeated Alma, eyes absent and focused on the ground beneath their feet. Allen frowned, concerned. Who were they? 

Kanda stuck close to Alma for the rest of the way, while the others gazed at them from time to time with concern-filled eyes and questions on the tip of their tongues. Still, they didn’t ask. It was their decision to tell them or not. Allen couldn’t blame them. There were a lot of things he hadn’t told them himself about his life before the Innocence, after all. 

They got to a wide room after what seemed like hours. Allen looked around at the tall columns and the tall walls that boxed them and felt a chill run up his spine. Something… something happened there, but he couldn’t figure out what. He couldn’t  even figure out if it had been good or bad, either. His eyes remained fixed on the tall painted door that seemed to be the core of the room for more than a few minutes.

“Idiot-Bak!” called Fou and her voice carried over the place. “Where are you?”

“Um,” mumbled Lenalee, walking closer to Fou, “isn’t this a really big base?”

“It is, but the Idiot-Bak can hear me, no problem,” shrugged the girl, then yelled again, “They are here!”

She fell silent for a few seconds and Allen was about to say that whoever that Bak was he probably couldn’t hear her, when something crashed to the ground not far from them and he jumped. 

“Fou? Ah, them?” a voice came through the walls and Fou sighed and slapped a hand on her forehead. “I’m at the old cafeteria!” 

“Okay, bunch, follow me again,” she said and she started walking towards one of the doors out of the mysterious room. 

If it was true that Fou had known him on his past life, then she could answer why he found that room… as familiar as he did. Not even just that room, the rest of the base sent a warm wave through him. He could almost recognize some places, some corners, he could almost see people walking around with papers in their hands and cups of coffee and…

Not only that, but Fou had said that she wasn’t a reincarnation. Did that mean that she had been alive all those years? What did that make her? Was she like the Noah? 

“Ah, Fou!” yelled a man when the tall doors to what Allen guessed was the cafeteria opened up with a strong kick from the girl. “Don’t do that! You know that the structure isn’t as firm as it used to be!”

“And whose fault is that?” grumbled the girl. She stalked over to one of the long tables. Allen entered the spacious room cautiously and focused on the man sitting on that same table. 

“Certainly not mine,” he sniffed. He had blond messy hair and Allen could distinguish some asian features. Chang was a Chinese surname, but then again, nationalities didn’t really matter at this point. His blue eyes focused on them and he jumped to his feet, hands clenching around some papers. “There you are. I’ve been waiting for you for… a while.”

“How did you even know that someone was gonna come at all?” asked Lavi. He had his arms up behind his head, but Allen could see clear as day the curiosity in his eyes and the tenseness on his shoulders. 

“You’re… Lavi, right?” guessed the man, Bak, and Lavi nodded stiffly, eye wide with surprise. “I knew your grandfather. He was the one who told me to come here if I wanted answers.”

“Excuse me…” mumbled Alma and they pushed through Allen carefully, with their eyes glued to the man. His eyes widened when he saw Alma and Allen narrowed his eyes when he saw Fou sigh from behind him. 

“Alma…? Then…” Bak’s eyes move around until they got to Kanda and they widened even more. His legs trembled and Allen made the move to rush to him before he fell down, but the man sat down at the table again. “But how? You shouldn’t…  Why…?”

“It kinda makes sense, Idiot-Bak,” sighed Fou and Bak only turned his head to her with disbelief. Fou’s face changed into a grimace. “Think about the theory you were so stubborn about just days ago.”

“Bak… Chang?” called again Alma and Bak’s head turned so fast that Allen wouldn’t even be surprised that he had pulled a muscle. Lenalee and Lavi moved towards him, almost as if to give Bak, Kanda and Alma some privacy. “Are you really… Edgar and Twi’s son?”

“I am,” nodded Bak, voice cautious. Alma seemed to shrink onto themselves, as if afraid, and Allen wondered for a moment what happened. “I left the house when I was young, though, I didn’t really talk to them much.” A pause. “It wasn’t that we didn’t get along, it was just…” Bak paused again, took a deep breath, dragged a hand through his hair, and continued, “I remembered part of my previous life when I was around 18 years old and after that I couldn’t live with them anymore, I kept remembering when they died. I started searching around the world for answers. I met your grandfather maybe 10 years ago,” he said pointing to Lavi, who arched an eyebrow, “and he told me to come here.”

“And he awakened me,” continued Fou, voice much more subjugated than before. “I had been forced to a permanent sleep after the previous war. Bak is a Chang, so he awakened me with what little he remembered.”

“Wait, part of your previous life?” repeated Lenalee, voice somewhat agitated. Bak turned to her, flushed and immediately looked away. Allen could make out the words ‘now it’s not the time for this you idiot’, but he couldn’t exactly make sense of them. “Does that mean that we might only remember a part of our past life?”

“The only thing that I can come up with is that the trigger wasn’t enough to awaken all my memories,” shrugged Bak, but he didn’t look at Lenalee. Instead, he was looking at a nearby table with such intensity that Allen feared that he would make it light up in fire. 

“What can you tell us?” asked Kanda, arms crossed over his chest, but there was a weird glint in his eyes. Bak sighed.

“I met all of you at some point,” he said and Allen jumped again. Bak smiled, but it wasn’t exactly happy. “Some more than others. You two,” he pointed at Alma and Kanda, “are the ones I… well, I wouldn’t say that I had history with you, because I actually hadn’t, but… There is one thing that I’m pretty sure about. This life… it’s based strongly on our past one. Hearing about my parents confirms it was the same for you.” A solemn pause. “I suppose that they are already dead, are they not?”

“They died 12 years ago,” mumbled Alma, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” sighed Bak, but Allen saw his hands tremble and raise slightly to rub his face, before they fell on his lap again. 

“When you say that our current life is strongly based on our previous one…” said Allen and Bak looked at him with so many mixed feelings in his eyes that Allen couldn’t make out a single one of them. He wondered how they had met on his past life. “Does that mean that we’re going to die in the same way? That we’re going to lose again?”

Bak hummed softly and Allen waited as patiently as he could. That question had been running through his head since Suman had told him how similar his past life had been to his current one and it had been the reason why he hadn’t really slept much and why he didn’t have that much appetite. There was something bone-chilling about that kind of fate, something that made it incredibly difficult to move forward if your fate was already set in stone. 

“Tell me, what is the last noteworthy thing that has happened?” asked Bak. Fou lifted her head and frowned at him slightly, before her eyes shined with realization and she sat up straighter. 

“I guess…” Allen raked his brain and blinked. Of course. “Suman almost Fell. We managed to save him cutting his arm off.”

“So he didn’t Fall?” pushed Bak and Allen nodded, frowning. Was that related to what Suman told him about how the last time he'd had a fate worse than dead? “Then that’s it. Things can change this time.”

“Then why are our lives so similar to our previous ones?” asked Lenalee, brows furrowed in thought. Bak shrugged.

“I’ve been looking into it this whole time and the only thing I managed to come up with was that… This whole thing, our reincarnation, was caused by some kind of ripple. An anomaly,” he explained. Lavi took a shuddering breath from Allen’s side and he turned to him, alarmed. 

“This was never supposed to happen,” breathed the redhead. Bak nodded solemnly. 

“I met someone some months ago,” he continued. “He said that the world is much more complex than it seems. This timeline, so to speak, was supposed to just continue existing until the Noah and the Earl won for good, destroyed all of humanity, finish what he started in 2012, and then disappear. But it didn’t.”

“It continued,” whispered Lenalee, and in the silence of the huge room the two words seemed to echo all around.

“It continued,” nodded Bak, “and  _ something _ caused some kind of ripple that made the Innocences act up again. Innocence is difficult to understand, so I don’t really know what it was thinking when it searched for our souls to reincarnate them into this time. And, not only were Exorcists reincarnated. Normal humans as well.” He paused, ruffled the papers in his hands, organizing his thoughts, before he continued. “The only reason I can think of is that the Innocence knew that those humans were great motivators for Exorcists. They are your loved ones.”

Somehow, that resonated deeply with Allen. They were their loved ones. They were  _ his _ loved ones. The people he had a feeling with were the people he loved in his previous life. He had expected something like that but just hearing it being said out loud by someone who had researched it for so long made it all the more serious and striking. Still… Was the person who told him those words, that motto he kept following like an anchor, reincarnated? Had he met them yet? Had he loved them enough for them to reincarnate alongside him? 

“Why were you so surprised that Alma was here?” asked Kanda, voice sharp like his blade, and Bak startled and flinched. Allen frowned.

“Alma’s fate last time…” said Bak in a voice so quiet that Allen had to lean forward to hear him. “It wasn’t pretty. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but it should have been impossible for Alma to be here.”

Alma bit their lip, hugged themselves and then turned around, walking quickly to the door and disappearing down the dark corridor. Kanda didn’t hesitate for even a second before he followed them, hair swinging from side to side and steps confident. Allen debated with himself about following them, but in the end, he supposed that it would be better to leave it to Kanda. 

“It’s always the Chang’s fault,” mumbled Bak to himself, and when Allen turned to him, he saw his sad smile and how Fou put her hand on his shoulder. Bak shook his head and lifted it to smile at them, but it lacked any cheeriness. “I can show you some of the files they have here from your past lives, if you're curious. There’s nothing much, but…” he shrugged. He stood up, still wobbly, probably because of what had happened, but he managed to ask, “when do they come to get you?”

“Tomorrow afternoon,” answered Lavi. He was still mostly serious, gaze hazy. Back nodded absent-mindedly. 

“Then, Fou,” he nodded to the guardian, “can you find Jerry? We have guests. He’ll be happy that he has more people to cook for.”

“Gotcha,” said Fou and she jumped from the table. She smirked at them before disappearing through the doors. 

“Do you think that Alma and Kanda are going to be okay?” whispered Lenalee to Allen and Lavi, eyes concerned and hands fidgeting with her sleeves. 

Allen opened his mouth, ready to reassure her that they only needed some time alone, but then he hesitated and closed it. Alma had just been told that their previous life hadn't been pretty, that they shouldn't even be there to start with. That must have been hard. Too hard. 

“Let's just leave them alone for now,” he said at the end and, even if he managed to smile slightly, he didn't know how convincing it was, because his mind was still reeling with the new knowledge. 

They followed Bak through the base, looking around the empty rooms. If the planet had been in a better condition, there would have been plants hugging the walls and floor, but as it were, there was only dust and cracks. The old equipment had dark stains because of the humidity of the environment and it was clear that the structure wasn't as firm as it could have been years before, just like Bak had said. 

All the while, Allen tried to nudge his memories forward. There were some rooms where he didn't really feel much, but then, there were others where he could almost see people, scientists, walking around with cups of coffee and various papers in their hands, talking with each other and carrying different machines that weren't from this time at all. Lavi had asked Bak about the equipment, saying that it didn't look accurate to the period when the first war was taking place, the XIX century. Bak had answered saying that the Black Order had been infested with brilliant scientists, so it had been much more advanced than the rest of the world. He said that the line between magic and technology blurred more often than not. 

“These are the files I told you about,” said Bak when they reached a dark room. Allen tried to find some kind of switch, but he didn't have much luck. 

They decided to use their phone’s flashlight to search through the cabinets for their previous files. Allen's heart thundered in his chest. Would he see his old file? Would he learn about his mysterious past life? Would it trigger his memories? He didn’t know if he was excited or scared as hell.

“Here!” yelled Lavi suddenly. Allen jumped and hurried to him, hands trembling. Lenalee was fidgeting with her hair and watching carefully as Lavi took out some files from the box he had been looking through. He started reading the names and, surprisingly, he frowned. “This can’t be right.”

“What is it?” asked Bak from where he was looking through other papers with a disinterested gaze. 

Allen got closer to Lavi, curious and confused. He read the names printed on the files that Lavi had left on the cracked ground. They were difficult to read because the bad conditions and time had erased some of the letters, but there were still traces left and he could make out the names after a few seconds. He frowned too. Those were… all the files? Lavi was searching around the box again, muttering to himself. 

“My name is here,” said Lenalee, reaching out and taking the file in her hands carefully, almost afraid that the papers would crumble and fall through her fingers. “But…”

“Lavi’s file is not here.” Allen bit his lip. “Nor is mine.” He reached out and took Kanda’s. He could see Miranda’s, Marie’s, Krory’s and the ones from the Generals. 

“Suman’s file is probably on the box where all the dead Exorcists were…” mumbled Bak, walking closer to them. Then he paused. “Oh, right. Of course yours wouldn’t be here.”

“What?” blurted out Lavi, sitting upright again and almost hitting Bak in the face with his arm when the redhead made an indignant gesture. “Then where? I wanna know!”

“It doesn’t really say much,” sighed Lenalee. Allen turned to her, taking note of her still trembling hands. The tremors weren’t as violent as before as she turned page after page. “It just talks about my Innocence. What form it took, the level of synchronization and the… type.” She frowned. “ _ ‘First case of Crystal Type ever recorded’? _ ”

“Oh, yeah, I think I remember something about that,” mumbled Bak, scratching his head. He narrowed his eyes. “Not much, though.” He shrugged. “Yeah, well, your files aren’t going to be here. Basically, because they are confidential. Alma’s isn’t here, either. Like I said, not a good fate.”

“Confidential?” repeated Allen, confused and nervous. What had happened? Bak clicked his tongue, rubbing his temples. 

“Everything is blurry, but I remember that you two,” he gestured to them, “left the Order at some point.”

“We did what?” yelled Lavi. “Ahh damn it!”

“So there’s no information about us here?” asked Allen, voice soft and shaky. He left the Order. _Why_ did he leave the Order? 

“Not here, at least,” said Bak. “If your files still exist, then they should be at the Order’s main headquarters. But I don’t think anyone knows about them anymore.”

“And you don’t remember them,” sighed Lavi, shoulders dropping. Lenalee had closed her file with a sigh too, eyes tired and hands steady again. “Ah, what a pain.”

“I’m sorry,” said Bak, smiling ruefully. 

“It isn’t really a lose,” commented Lenalee. “There really isn’t much about our story here. It’s mostly about out Innocence, and that hasn’t really changed much for what I’ve seen.” She paused. “I don’t know if there should have been more pages in this, but… if there were, then someone has them.”

“Don’t look at me,” sighed Bak when they turned to him. “Like I said, I just came here some years ago and I’ve come and go a few times.”

They decided to scan the files from people they knew and encrypt them in Lavi’s phone. He said that the Government would have a harder time getting into his phone, and they couldn’t really ask him to give it to them, seeing as he was a Bookman and he tended to do part of his work on his phone. There were some things that were confidential even for the Government itself. 

Still, as they walked back to the cafeteria while Bak told them about the eccentric cook he had encountered in one of his adventures, Allen couldn’t stop worrying about the possible lost pages of the files and his own file. Was someone else in the know about this? Bak had mentioned someone who had explained him a possible cause of the reincarnation, so maybe…

“You all feel so familiar!” cheered a voice just after walking through the door of the cafeteria. Allen jumped, as did Lenalee and Lavi, and they all focused on the dark-skinned man that was carrying plates of food to one of the tables with the help of Fou. Allen felt a pang in his heart. “I’m Jerry, nice to meet you!”

Alma and Kanda returned a while later, just after they had started eating and Jerry was telling how he found a starved Bak outside the house where his family lived. Alma still seemed shaken, but they managed to smile at them and eat part of the food that Jerry shoved in front of them. Kanda was needled by Lavi about how lucky he was of having his file and how unfair it was that he himself didn’t. 

Even if Allen smiled and managed to joke with the others, he still worried. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some answers and some more questions! I have another fic that *maybe* I'll start posting next week (a Fate x Dgm crossover), so if you're interested stay tuned.   
> Comments as presents? Kudos?  
> Tumblr: thesilversky99  
> Twitter: irisinally


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